by Pintip Dunn
Epilogue
I float through an endless dark night. My consciousness tries to grab hold of a thought, it tries to make the thought concrete and present and real, but then it lets go again, and I continue to drift. Am I dead? Will I continue to float for an eternity? The questions fade as soon as they appear, before I can even begin to formulate answers.
There is a voice sometimes, so sweet and young. I can’t make out the words, or if I can, they slip away as soon as I comprehend their meaning. There is love in this voice, unconditional love that pierces all the way through the haze, so that for a moment, I am substantial and whole. For a moment, I almost remember.
Then there’s another voice, low and achingly familiar. How can it be so familiar, when it is so different from my own? How can it resonate so deeply, as if it lives inside me, when I don’t know to whom the voice belongs? There is love here, too, but a different kind. This love fills me and makes every fiber of my existence mourn. How can I cry, when I don’t have eyes? How can I despair, when I don’t know what I’ve lost?
Questions, always questions, eternal questions, floating in and around my consciousness. But never any answers. Either because I can’t think of them, or when I do, it is too late.
I don’t know how long I drift. Five minutes or fifty years. An eternity or a second. I feel like I’ll float forever, but then something flashes across my consciousness. Something searing and acute and aware. A vision. No, slivers of visions, snapshots of memories, tumbling one after the other, faster and faster, pressing at my mind, making me remember.
A young girl with a purple dog. My arm whipping through the air. The brush of a boy’s lips. A tattered feather floating in the air.
I can’t be dead, not when my heart aches this much. Not when I live the memories this clearly. Not when I feel the little girl’s touch. Not when I hear the boy pleading with me to come back to him.
I will, I want to tell them. I’ll come back as soon as I can.
As soon as I figure out how to open my eyes.
end of book one
Forget Tomorrow has a soundtrack! Visit our website to listen to exclusive songs...
“Crystal Ball”
Vocals by Kimberly Brown
Written by Kimberly Brown and David Elliot Johnson
© 2015 Entangled Music Publishing LLC
If I had a crystal ball
I would tell you what I see
How you made it through it all
Living out your every dream
I’d show you how along the way
Your every step in time
Made you who you are today
Every riddle every rhyme
You’re not alone
Not on your own
You’ve got me; I’ve got you
For everything you’re going through
If you believe
In what I see
You won’t worry about tomorrow at all
’Cause I can show you in my crystal ball
The voices in your head
Can make you feel like you’re insane
Just gotta learn to hold on tight
Never giving in to what they say
Forget about tomorrow
Forget about the past
Right now in this moment
You gotta live like it’s your last
You’re not alone
Not on your own
You’ve got me; I’ve got you
For everything you’re going through
If you believe
In what I see
You won’t worry about tomorrow at all
’Cause I can show you in my crystal ball
All that you are is who you are meant to be
So become all that you are meant to be
You’re not alone
Not on your own
You’ve got me; I’ve got you
For everything you’re going through
If you believe
In what I see
You won’t worry about tomorrow at all
I can show you in my crystal ball
If you believe
If you believe
If you believe
If you believe
In my crystal ball
“I Am”
Vocals by Kimberly Brown
Written by Wes Jones and David Elliot Johnson
© 2015 Entangled Music Publishing LLC
I was only seventeen
My life was laid in front of me
Losing control
Of everything I’d ever known
Feeling lost and so deceived
Somehow I have to believe in me
All that I am
Strong enough
Inside of me
All that I am
Fight to change
My destiny
I have to face this reality
With all that I am
All that I am
Strong enough
Inside of me
All that I am
Fight to save
Both you and me
I’m breaking free of what’s meant to be
With all that I am
Defeating every voice I hear
Leading me to all I fear
Taking the knife
To this fate and make it disappear
I see a tear in the atmosphere
Just gotta find my way out of here
With all that I am
Strong enough
Inside of me
All that I am
Fight to change
My destiny
I have to face this reality
With all that I am
All that I am
Strong enough
Inside of me
All that I am
Fight to save
Both you and me
I’m breaking free of what’s meant to be
With all that I am
I’ll do everything to not lose faith
Live as if we only have today
All that I am
Strong enough
Inside of me
All that I am
Fight to change
My destiny
I have to face this reality
With all that I am
All that I am
Strong enough
Inside of me
All that I am
Fight to save
Both you and me
I’m breaking free of what’s meant to be
With all that I am
Acknowledgments
I’ve wanted to be a published author ever since I was six years old, and I’ve been lucky to have so many people support me on this journey.
Thank you to my unparalleled agent, Beth Miller, for being a true partner in this business.
My heartfelt thanks to Liz Pelletier, my editor and publisher, and one of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met, for believing in this book. Thank you to the entire team at Entangled, and in particular, Heather Riccio, Meredith Johnson, and Stacy Abrams for your hard work. Special thanks, as well, to Debbie Suzuki, Melissa Montovani, Jessica Turner, and Ellie McMahon. You are all amazing. Thanks to L.J. Anderson for the gorgeous cover, and thank you to Rebecca Mancini for the foreign-rights magic. Thank you, as well, to my film agent, Lucy Stille.
The following writers have critiqued for me, but more importantly, have given me their friendship. Thank you to Kimberly MacCarron and Vanessa Barneveld, for always being here; Meg Kassel and Stephanie Winklehake, for sharing your passions and dreams; Denny Bryce and Holly Bodger, for never being more than a text message away; Danielle Meitiv, for your scientific expertise; Stephanie Buchanan, for reading countless drafts; and Kerri Carpenter, for the accountability. Thank you to Romily Bernard, Natalie Richards, Cecily White, Michelle Monkou, Masha Levinson, and Darcy Woods. You are not just writing friends; you are the best friends a girl could have.
Thank you to the late
Karen Johnston. Karen, you were one of the earliest cheerleaders for this book, and your belief in me has left a footprint in my heart.
I am so grateful to my writing communities for giving me a home: the Waterworld Mermaids, Honestly YA, the Writing Experiment, the Firebirds, the DoomsDaisies, the Dreamweavers, the Dauntless, and the Washington Romance Writers.
Thank you to my favorite beta reader, Kaitlin Khorashadi.
Over the years, I have been fortunate to have teachers who have encouraged me to pursue my writing, in particular Jeanie Astbury, Professor Phil Fisher, and Professor Kenji Yoshino. I am grateful to Frankie Jones Danly, for her early support and guidance. Thank you to Kim Brayton, for writing my first book with me.
Thank you to my dearest friends who have believed in me for two decades: Anita, Sheila, Aziel, Kai, J.D., Francis, Josh, Nick, Steph, Peter, Gaby, Alex, Larry, Nicole, Julia, and Monique. Thanks to my newer friends, who are just as dear -- Jeanne Johnston, for always listening, and the talented Elizabeth Chomas, for my author photos.
I am exceedingly blessed to have such a loving family. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to my dad, Naronk, and the rest of the Hompluems: Uraiwan, Pan, Dana, and Lana. Thank you to the Dunns: Donald, Catherine, Chantal, Franck, Quentin, and Natasha. Thank you, P. Noi, and thank you, Karen. Thank you, as well, to A-ma and my Thai family, the Techavachara clan. Your support means everything to me.
Thank you to Aksara, Atikan, and Adisai. For you, I would fight the future and Fate itself.
And finally, thank you to Antoine. You believed in me even when I didn’t. Even if the future told you otherwise, you would still believe in me.
About the Author
When her first-grade teacher asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, Pintip replied, “An author.” Although she has pursued other interests over the years, this dream has never wavered.
Pintip graduated from Harvard University, magna cum laude, with an A.B. in English Literature and Language. She received her J.D. at Yale Law School, where she published an article in the Yale Law Journal, entitled, “How Judges Overrule: Speech Act Theory and the Doctrine of Stare Decisis.”
She is a 2012 Golden Heart® finalist and a 2014 double-finalist. She lives with her husband and children in Maryland.
www.pintipdunn.com
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