Vicky bent down to shake the bears hand, “Well, nice to meet you Pita.”
Jason stood up, “We just started a movie. Are you hungry? There’s some left-over pizza. We ate already. This little one couldn’t wait.”
The whole scene reminded Vicky of the first night they’d met. They were in her apartment and the lights were off. Only then it was because she hadn’t paid the bill. All the light they had was from the candles and the street lights streaming through into the tiny apartment. They sat on the floor talking and eating pizza. That seemed like a life time ago.
“Pizza sounds wonderful.”
Jason pulled a pillow off of Angel’s bed for Vicky to sit on. He helped her sit down and Vicky reached for a slice of pizza. She wasn’t really hungry. The butterflies in her stomach were taking up too much room.
Jason sat down next to her and Angel sat on the other side of him in the crook of his arm.
Jason waited for Vicky to finish eating. Once she was done he touched her shoulder to get her attention. When she turned towards him, he opened his arm for her to snuggle up next to him. He wasn’t sure what she’d do but hoped she’d come.
Vicky gave him a warm smile and scooted over until she was nestled safely into his arms.
They laughed at scenes from the movie they’d seen a hundred times.
An hour later, when she was sure Angel had fallen asleep, Vicky turned to him and whispered into his ear, “Jason we need to talk.”
He breathed deeply, turned to her and lovingly touched her cheek “I know. But tonight, can we just be together as a family and do something as simple as watch a movie?”
Vicky nodded and continued to rest her head into the crook of his neck. They stayed that way until the end of the movie. They hadn’t shared this type of closeness in a while and hated that the movie was over. Since Angel was already in her pj’s, Jason picked her up and put her in the bed.
Vicky stood as well and handed him the teddy bear, “Don’t forget Pita.”
Jason put Pita in arms reach of Angel, then leaned over to kiss her forehead. Vicky kissed her too before they left the bedroom.
They walked arm in arm towards their own bedroom.
*****
The second Jason closed the door behind, he wrapped his hands into her hair and pulled close for a kiss. His kisses were hungry and desperate. It had been months since he’d touched her and it was the best feeling in the world.
Vicky wrapped her arms around his neck and mindlessly pressed her body into his. She kissed him back just as eagerly.
Jason dragged his mouth away from hers to catch his breath, “I want you so much I’m afraid I might hurt you.”
Vicky ran her hands over his chest. She was so aroused she could barely speak, “You won’t hurt me. I promise.”
Gazing deeply into her eyes Jason picked her up and carried her to the bed. He gently put her down so that he could undress. She sat up on her elbows to watch him. Vicky’s own dress had ridden all the way up to the tops of her smooth as caramel thighs. Her hair was wild. But, it was her smile as she reached underneath her dress to take off her silky underwear that did it. Then, she let her thighs slowly drift apart leaving just enough room for Jason to slide in between.
Jason didn’t think he had ever seen anything sexier in his life. He had to touch her...now. He’d only been able to unzip his slacks, take off his shoes, and empty his pockets of his wallet and cell phone before climbing on top of her.
He could feel her heat through his pants. Vicky brought her knees up to the sides of his hips pressing her center into his hardness. Their lips connected and parted. When Vicky opened for him he slid his tongue deep into the cavern of her mouth. Vicky matched his anxious kisses with her own as she tried to unbutton his shirt. Jason continued to frantically thrust into her at a pace that mimicked the rhythm of their kisses.
She desperately wanted to feel his skin on hers. She was needy and eager and wanted him to pound into her. Jason trailed hot kisses down her neck and shoulders.
Even though it had only been moments, it felt like forever. She didn’t recognize her own voice. It was so husky. “Was this one of your favorite shirts?”
Vicky took his grunt as a no before the remaining buttons when flying across the room. Her hands touched him everywhere as she took the shirt off.
Jason stopped kissing Vicky long enough to lift the maxi dress up and over her head. It went flying across the room too. She was beautiful…lying completely naked before him. Her breast was still heavy from the pregnancy and her nipples had already pebbled for him. His mouth watered with the anticipation of having a taste. He didn’t have to wait too long.
Vicky held his head to her breast as he took one into his mouth while he kneaded the other. If it were possible to combust from the heat and the pleasure it would be this moment.
Jason lifted his body up and away from Vicky’s just enough to take off his slacks and briefs. All the while he never stopped loving on her breast. As a matter of fact, he was so greedy he feasted on the other one too.
Finally, they were completely naked. When he made contact with Vicky’s nether lips it sent a volt throughout his whole body. He was so close to her entrance. A piece of heaven was right there.
His breathing was ragged, “You’re mine Vicky. God I need you. I need this. ”
“I need you too.” Vicky wrapped her legs around his waist.
Jason was positioned right at her entrance. He surged inside of her and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Her vaginal walls held him so tight just like a glove. Vicky screamed at the top of her lungs.
That brought Jason out of his haze.
“Shit! Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
“No. I’m fine. You just feel so good. What’s wrong…why aren’t you moving? MOVE! Please Jason.”
Beads of sweat were plastered all over his body. “Wait…shit! Don’t move please don’t move. God you feel so good.”
Jason knew he had to get into the pearly gates of Heaven for this one. He closed his eyes and slowly pulled all the way out. He kissed her eye lids.
Vicky’s eyes fluttered open. She was breathing hard and looked confused.
“Condom. We can’t take a chance on getting you pregnant right now. Remember…the doctor wanted us to wait at least six months. I have a box in the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
She couldn’t believe they’d been so hot for each other that they were acting like irresponsible teenagers. Thank goodness he had the herculean strength to stop. She certainly didn’t.
Vicky laughed at herself, “Jason…hurry up!”
At first look, he couldn’t find them. He almost tore the cabinet and bathroom up looking for them. They had to be in there somewhere.
While he was looking for them his cell buzzed. Vicky looked at the clock. It was after midnight. Who could possibly be calling this late?
Sandy’s voice popped into her head, ‘Men are so careless with their cell phones.”
Vicky knew she shouldn’t have but picked up the phone anyway. Someone was sending a text. Her heart was beating so fast. Vicky clicked on the message at the same time Jason yelled from the bathroom, “Found ‘em!”
‘Sorry about today. I miss you and miss us. Minneapolis was so good just wanted to recreate that magic. XO…Bridget.’
Chapter 30
When Jason came out of the bathroom he could immediately tell something was very wrong. Vicky was still holding his phone.
“What…what’s wrong?”
“You got a message from Bridget. Apparently, she wants to recreate the magic from Minneapolis.”
If the tell tale sign of guilt all over his face wasn’t enough to confirm her suspicions, then the draining of all color certainly was.
She couldn’t look him in the eye. Suddenly, her nakedness made her feel exposed. Vicky got off of the bed and reached for her robe from the nearby chair.
“This would be the time where you’re supposed to tell me that ‘
it’s not what you think Vicky.’ Unless, it’s exactly what I’m thinking.”
Jason ran his hands through his hair. He put on his robe too. What was he supposed to say to her? Even though he technically hadn’t cheated on Vicky he had spent time with Bridget.
“I…I didn’t sleep with her. We just had dinner a couple of times and talked.” It sounded lame coming out of his mouth.
Vicky was equally hurt and angry. She raised her voice, “I haven’t been able to get you into the same room with me for more than five seconds since we lost our son but you had time to spend with her on more than one occasion. How is that supposed to make me feel?”
Jason couldn’t answer her.
“So, what did you two talk about?”
“Vicky, don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what? Ask my husband why he felt the need to be with a woman who tried to destroy our relationship?”
“We talked about nothing! We talked about people we knew…and things we had done.”
“So, you were reminiscing about the good old days back when you guys were a couple?”
“It wasn’t like that. We just…I just…” He couldn’t tell her that he just needed a time out from all of the craziness in their lives. And, Bridget felt safe… familiar.
Vicky waited for him to say something, anything that would make her feel better but he couldn’t seem to get the words out.
He couldn’t look at her, “Vicky, there was just so much going on and…we just talked that’s all. I made a mistake and I’m sorry.”
She felt physically ill. Her head was pounding. If she stayed another moment she might just do something so uncharacteristic…and explode.
Instead, Vicky took a couple of deep breaths to calm all the emotions raging inside of her. “I’m going to Angel’s room.”
Jason whispered, “You don’t have to do that. I’ll sleep in one of the spare bedrooms.”
Vicky’s body was ram-rod straight, “That’s not necessary because I can’t be here…in this room.” She realized she still held a death grip on his cell phone.
She tossed it onto the bed, “You might need this” before walking out.
*****
The past couple of days had been hell. Jason and Vicky walked around each other trying to be invisible. The only words they’d exchanged since everything happened had been to discuss their travel plans.
On top of everything John Lucas called. Ryan had managed to get the Judge to grant him a supervised visit with Angel the day before the hearing. It was Wednesday, and the hearing was set for Friday.
Vicky had packed Angel’s bag already and now she was packing hers. The car was going to be there to pick them up in a couple of hours. She prayed that the hole her life was in wasn’t going to swallow her up.
What was she going to do? Could she and Jason ever find their way back to each other? Did he want to? The closer the custody hearing got the less confident she was that the Judge would rule in her favor.
Vicky was determined that once she boarded that plane, she would only focus on one thing…the hearing. Angel had to be her singular focus.
*****
Jason was sitting in the back of the plane pretending to work when all he could think about was how to fix things with Vicky. She and Angel sat up from with Aunt Shirley. He’d hurt her deeply. How was it possible to love someone so much but do nothing but bring them pain?
They needed to talk. There was so much to be said and they were both afraid to either say it or hear it.
Vicky motioned for the flight attendant, “Can you please bring me a glass of red wine?”
Aunt Shirley wrinkled her nose, “Wine? What’s that for?”
“I just need to calm my nerves. I’m hoping the wine will relax me a bit.”
Shirley looked back and Jason and back to Vicky, “Sweetheart, everything is going to be alright. Have faith.”
Vicky wasn’t so sure. This was the first time she’d been back to Minneapolis since she lost the baby. She hoped Jason didn’t book their stay at the same place.
*****
It was no surprise when they landed to see the press and paparazzi waiting for them to get off of the plane. The custody case had been in the papers in Atlanta but nothing like the frenzy taking place in Minneapolis.
Vicky was glad Aunt Shirley was with them. She was a nice buffer between her and Jason; especially during the drive to the hotel. Without her and Angel’s chatter it would have been made in silence.
As they pulled up in front of ‘the’ hotel, the hairs on Vicky’s body stood up.
Jason could see Vicky swallow deeply and squirm in her seat. “I’m sorry…I didn’t think to tell my assistant not to book us here. It’s where I always stay when I’m in town.”
Vicky stammered, “It’s…it’s fine. We’re only here for a couple of days.”
The driver pulled the car up to the valet. When he opened the door, her legs didn’t want to work. It was difficult to walk and felt as though lead shoes had been placed on her feet. Somehow, she managed to put one foot in front of the other until they made it inside the hotel.
On the way up the elevator, Aunt Shirley could see the trepidation on her niece’s face...and Jason’s.
“Why don’t I take Angel to my room while you two unpack and get settled?”
Vicky was about to say that was okay until her stomach started to feel queasy. She was going to be sick and didn’t want Angel to be around for that.
The elevator opened and Angel waved to Jason and Vicky as she and Aunt Shirley went to their room. In her sweet voice, Angel called out to her parents, “Bye…see you soon.”
Vicky’s was surprised she could make any sound, “See you soon sweetheart.”
Standing in front of their door, Jason took a deep breath before opening it. Vicky ran past him and straight into the bathroom.
She barely made it before empting all of the contents of her stomach. Jason stood outside the door unable to do anything to help her. He wanted to offer comfort but couldn’t. He was so overcome with his own emotion that he thought he would strangle from it.
Vicky was kneeling on the floor hugging the porcelain commode. Her vision blurred as the tears spilled from her. She couldn’t hold back the pain any longer. Her cry started out low and muted but developed into great heaving sobs.
Jason didn’t think it was possible for his heart to break any more but hearing Vicky’s anguish shattered him even more. Somehow he managed to walk over and kneel down next to her. He pulled her into his arms. She looked up at him with a seemingly endless flow of tears running down her face.
Her sobs were so heavy he couldn’t make out whatever it was she was trying to say. He just rocked her back and forth as he let his own tears fall silently down his face.
“Shhh…it’s okay…it’s okay.”
“I’m…so…sorry…Jason. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to lose him. I know everything is all my fault and if I could, I would do so many things differently.”
Jason forced Vicky to look at him. Even with a red nose and a blotchy face she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen because her beauty showed from the inside out. He didn’t know what he did in life to deserve her.
“You think I need to forgive you? Baby…there’s nothing to forgive you for.”
Through tears and with a thick voice, Vicky shook her head. “We have to start being honest with each other Jason. I know you blame me. I see it all over your face. Every time I’ve tried to talk to you or touch you, you pull away.”
Jason wiped the tears from her face as his continued to flow. “That was because my own guilt was eating me alive.” He enunciated every word, “I’ve never blamed you. All this time, I thought you thought it was my fault for not being there when you needed me the most. I couldn’t stand to see the disappointment in your eyes. I will never forgive myself for not being here.”
“How could you think I would blame you? It wasn’t your fault!”
“
Vicky…even if you didn’t blame me, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself?”
This time it was Vicky who tried to wipe the tears away from him. She stood up on her knees and cradled his head in her hands so that he could see the truth in her words, “I never blamed you for even one second. What you saw in my eyes was hurt, pain, and shame.”
Jason looked incredulous, “Shame? About what?”
“Every since Angel and I came into your life, it’s been one thing after another. All the horrible things people have said and written about me…even though they weren’t true was hurtful and embarrassing to me. I know it had to be to you and will be to Angel once she’s old enough to understand.” Vicky sighed. “Maybe Bridget would have been a better partner for you. You guys come from the same world. I’m still learning how to navigate all of this. I don’t know if I ever will and she certainly doesn’t seem to come with half as much baggage.”
Jason smoothed Vicky’s hair off of her face. “The problem with that is I don’t love her. I love you. I’ve loved you probably since the moment I saw you in that elevator.”
He held her hands tightly and looked deeply into her eyes, “I was wrong to use Bridget to try and escape my pain and frustrations. But, I promise you I never even thought of being with her in a romantic way.”
“Are you sure you don’t have some leftover feelings?”
“None.”
“I’m going to believe you because I want to so badly. But, Jay, if we have even half of shot of making our marriage work we’ve got to be honest with each other. We can’t check out for even a minute. We’ve got to talk to each other no matter how difficult the conversations might be. We’ve spent months hurting each other over feelings that it seems like neither you nor I had.”
“I promise you that my heart belongs only to you and that somehow no matter what’s going on, to try to figure out a way to communicate it with you.”
“I’m your wife and I love you. I also want to be your partner. You can’t put everything on your shoulders. My shoulders might not be as large as yours but it can share some of the burden. You can’t fix everything and as much as you want to protect us…you can’t protect us from everything.”
LOVE, LIFE, and VOWS Page 12