“You let him visit you, but not me?”
“Watching him walk away was something I enjoyed. Watching you walk away would have killed me.”
Her beautiful amber eyes instantly filled with tears and her brow line softened. “What happened?”
I released her and sank back into my seat, giving her a moment to compose herself before I started talking. “Marty came to me with a lot of apologies and regrets.”
“Really?”
“I didn’t expect it, either.”
“Did you accept them?”
“Hell no.” I laughed, dropping my head back and letting it roll in her direction. “But it was good to see him squirm for a while.”
“That’s all he asked for? Your forgiveness?”
“That, and my silence.”
“Oh, no, he did not come to see you to make sure you kept quiet?” she raged.
“Calm down, tiger.” I reached for her hand, entwining our fingers together. “Of course he did. That’s who Marty is. A coward who needs insurance for every situation he creates.”
“What did you say?”
“Told him to rot in Hell. Said that apart from getting out to see you, I wished for nothing more than the day when my mum would lose her fear and press charges against him. I told him I’d encourage it, but he knew she wouldn’t ever do that. The damage he caused ran too deep with Mum. To be honest, I’m just grateful she’s living life now. I’ve never seen her this happy.”
Lilac’s shoulders slumped. “Neither have I, but, Christ, I’d love to see that man behind bars.”
“Just because he isn’t in prison doesn’t mean he’s not living his life as a sentence, Lil. He’ll never stop looking over his shoulder now. Joel has nothing to do with him. His marriage is in bits since they moved away. He can’t work because he’s become so depressed and suppressed. He’ll never be able to answer the phone, or the door without thinking, Is this it? Is my time up? His worst nightmare is going to prison, sure, and now he’s scared of me even more because he knows I survived everything that would kill him.”
“I love how you take a bad situation and make it good.” Her smile started off slow, eventually growing into both cheeks.
“I learnt that from this really hot chick I grew up masturbating over.”
“Oh yeah?” Lilac leaned forward. “Did you get her in the end?”
“Yep. Got her knocked up, too. Twice.”
She slapped my arm playfully, leaned in for a kiss, and then turned back to start the engine.
“Despite your bad sense of humour and appalling timing for confessions, she sounds like she hit the jackpot.”
“And then some.” I winked, laughing when she rolled her eyes.
“May I continue with my surprise now?”
“Sorry. Lead the way, dragon-slayer.”
We drove for another two hours, and it killed me to keep my mouth shut and let her tease me relentlessly. The trees on the side of the road began to thin out, and it was obvious we were entering the city way of life when signs for Birmingham whizzed by us on the motorway.
“This is making you ache so bad, isn’t it?”
“Nope,” I lied, faking a yawn and stretching my arms in the air.
“Only three more hours to go.”
“Wait, what?” I snapped, my hands slapping down on my thighs.
“Gotcha.” She laughed.
“Okay, fine. I give in. Where are we going?”
Lilac didn’t answer. She just offered me a smile, which turned into a grin when East Midlands airport came into view.
I hadn’t been to an airport or on a plane since I was a small kid, thanks to my parole and the time I spent away, and suddenly my palms felt sweatier than usual.
“Lil…”
“Don’t be nervous.”
“Where are we—?”
“Let me park before I tell you, okay?”
Glancing her way, I saw the hope she wore on her face, and then I remembered all the time she’d spent away from me. The life she’d given up, waiting. The life she’d given up, staying with me when I was chained to Southwold, too much of a criminal to roam freely.
We were both free now. I’d served my time, and so had she.
“Okay.” I nodded.
“Thank you.”
Her cheeks were flaming again, and her finger drummed on the steering wheel every chance she got before she parked in our allocated space. Lilac got out of the car, ran around to my side and opened the door for me to get out.
“Shouldn’t I be opening the door for you?”
“Hush and hurry up.”
I did as I was told, following her as she walked to the back of the car and popped the boot open. She bounced on the balls of her feet, full of eagerness and childlike giddiness. It reminded me so much of the girl I used to watch from behind my bedroom curtains. The girl who spun in circles and danced with imaginary fairies when she thought no one was looking. We’d come such a long way in our years together. I couldn’t imagine anyone else holding my attention and heart the way she had since the very first time she spoke to me.
The weight of my love for her had me moving without thought, reaching round to cup her cheek and her neck as I kissed her like I’d been away again. She was breathless instantly, her body turning to mush beneath my fingers.
When I released her, she kept her eyes closed, released a breath and eventually let her lashes flutter open. “I haven’t even told you where we’re going yet.”
“I don’t care, as long as it’s with you.” I groaned, pressing my forehead against hers. “Where you go, I go. Now. Tomorrow. Whenever.”
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly.
Fuck, I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but the emotion had taken over, and now I had tears in my eyes. “Do you think you can be too happy?”
“No.” She chuckled.
“Then yeah, I’m okay. Just really fucking happy.”
“Wait until I show you what I brought with us. Look.” Her face turned to the boot, and mine naturally followed until I saw my old guitar case sitting there with an invisible invitation to play sitting on top of it.
“Is that…?”
“Your dad got it out of the loft for me.”
I looked back at her, not letting her go or move an inch away from me.
“We’re taking it wherever we’re going?”
“Just you, me, the sands of Portugal, and your guitar. I’m hoping for three nights of us living like those seventeen-year olds we used to be. Making love under the moonlight. Singing songs together. Making music.” She pushed her hips against mine, dropping the sound of her voice. “Lots of sweet, sweet music.”
I smirked and swallowed down the smugness that wanted to let my shit-eating-grin break free. “Any requests?”
“Just you. Forever.”
“That I can do.”
My kiss to her became a promise, one of many I made in our lifetime together, but the most important one besides our wedding vows.
A promise to make music with her every day.
To love a girl like Lilac how she was made to be loved.
With all the breaths I owned until my dying day.
And I did.
Oh, boy, I really did.
EndNote from Featured Poet A. Stone:
The 30 seconds it takes you to read this don't seem that precious, but the fickle tide of breath that runs through your lungs may decide it's your last. Then those 30 seconds are the most precious commodity you have.
Both are the same amount of time, but now extend those seconds into days, months or years—same value, same commodity, same fickle hand of fate that can take them away.
Please spend them wisely, my friends. Spread yourselves far, travel, love, and touch as many souls as you can before you return to the Earth as dust and live in the leaves of the mighty oak and his friends in the forest.
A. Stone
EndNote from Author:
The only fairy tales to e
xist are fairy tales. Your life isn’t meant to be one. It’s meant to be a tragedy, a romance, and a comedy you survive, thrive, and remember. Accept the hard times. Appreciate the good.
And never stop enjoying the simple things.
Like love.
Breathing.
Being.
I hope you enjoyed Toby and Lilac’s journey. Even the hard bits.
Victoria L. James
Playlist
Glasgow Love Theme — Craig Armstrong
If I Tremble — Front Porch Step
Quick To Run — Front Porch Step
It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over — Lenny Kravitz
Fire Away — Chris Stapleton
Too Young — Sabrina Carpenter
Burned — Front Porch Step
Died In Your Arms — Cutting Crew
Don’t Hold Me — Sandro Cavazza
Big Love In A Small Town — Lady Antebellum
Either Way — Chris Stapleton
Kiss Me — Sixpence None The Richer
No Ordinary Love — Deftones
Tell Me How — Paramore
Love Is A Losing Game — Amy Winehouse
Gravity — John Mayer
Hurts Like Hell — Fleurie
Fast Car — Ryan Montbleau & Tall Heights
Come As You Are — Nirvana
I’ll Be Waiting — Lenny Kravitz
In The Waiting — Kina Crannis
Don’t Deserve You — Plumb
Getaway Car — Lea Michele
I Never Loved Before I Found You — Front Porch Step
Hold You In My Arms — Ray LaMontagne
A Girl Like Lilac Page 31