by Dani Collins
He took a measured sip and turned back to face her. ‘I’m not sure I’m following you. What exactly do you want me to do?’
Ivy shifted from foot to foot, her hands interlaced in front of her body, her cheeks blooming again with colour. ‘I have a problem with...with sex...’
Louis sprayed most of his second sip of whisky out of his mouth on a choked splutter. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘Are you sure I’m the person you should be talking to about this?’
Her mouth was down-turned at the corners, her shoulders slumped. ‘I’m still a virgin and I’m almost thirty. I need to do something to fix myself otherwise I’ll never find a partner—especially today, when everyone’s so adventurous and open about sex. I’m a pariah. An uptight prude who can’t even get undressed unless the lights are out.’
To say he was shocked was an understatement. Almost thirty and still a virgin? He’d lost his in his teens. Didn’t most people? She wasn’t particularly religious, so deliberate abstinence could not be the issue. Had something happened to put her off doing the deed? His skin crawled at the thought of some pushy guy pressuring her or abusing her. Anger rose in his gut and climbed into his throat with acid-laced claws. Louis put down his glass of whisky and took a deep steadying breath.
‘Firstly, Ivy, you don’t have to fix anything. You should only do what you’re comfortable doing when, and only when, you’re comfortable doing it.’
‘But I might never be comfortable if I don’t do something sooner rather than later. I can’t go on like this. It’s beyond embarrassing going on a date with a new guy and then bolting out the door as soon as he touches me.’
Louis rapid blinked. Tried to ignore the little stab of unease in his gut about her hooking up with some guy she barely knew. ‘Let me get this straight... You want me to sleep with you?’
Her cheeks darkened but her eyes contained a single-minded light that was more than a little unsettling. ‘No one is never going to be interested in me unless I get over my inhibitions. There’s no point me trying to date anyone unless I feel more confident. And I don’t think I’d be comfortable with anyone but you. I know you. I’ve known you for years. Plus, you know what you’re doing with sex, and I think you’d be the best person to teach me.’
A trap door creaked open in his mind, a narrow gap revealing a host of erotic possibilities he had locked down there, out of sight. Getting naked with her, doing all the things he’d been trying not to think about for the last couple of years. Gliding his hands down her beautiful body, exploring her breasts, discovering all the sweet contours of her feminine frame. Kissing her, touching her, their limbs entwined...
Louis held up his hand like a stop sign. ‘Whoa there, Ivy. You’re talking like a crazy person. I’m an architect, not a sex therapist. And, besides, we’re friends. The friends-to-lovers thing never works.’
‘But in this case it would work, because I’m not after anything other than a one-night stand. That’s what everyone calls you, right? Mr Amazing One-Night Stand. I’m not asking you to marry me. I just want you to have sex with me one time so I can say I’m not a virgin any—’
‘I heard you the first time,’ Louis cut in quickly. ‘I’m not interested.’ If he heard her ask him to have sex with her one more time, he’d be a goner. There was only so much self-control he could muster at a given time.
She looked like a puppy that had been refused a pat. Her teeth sank back into her bottom lip and she bent down to pick up her bag from the floor, where it had fallen earlier, and then straightened and levelled him with a wounded look. ‘Is it because I’m not attractive enough? You find me a turn-off?’
Louis tried to keep his gaze away from her cleavage. Tried but failed. ‘You’re one of the most attractive women I’ve ever met but—’
‘Prove it.’ She put her bag on his desk and approached him. He had forgotten how tiny she was until she was toe-to-toe with him. She had to crane her neck to maintain eye contact. Her eyes were clear and her expression determined, and his self-control had a panic attack.
Louis cleared his suddenly tight throat. She was so close, if he moved half a step her breasts would brush his chest. He could see every pore of the creamy perfection of her skin, the only blemish a tiny white two-centimetre scar above her left eyebrow. Her blue eyes were an intricate mosaic of deep blue, purple and indigo with wide jet-black pupils as infinite as outer space. Her lower lip was twice the size of her top one, the shape of her mouth a perfect Cupid’s bow. And don’t get me started about those adorable dimples.
‘Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t have to prove anything.’ His tone was curt and cold but his blood was hot. Smoking hot. He placed his hands on her upper arms, ostensibly to keep her from him, but somehow his fingers sank into the softness of her cashmere sweater and the distance between their bodies closed. Had he moved or had she? Her hips brushed against his, her breasts poking into his chest, and a wave of hot, tight longing barrelled through him like a tornado.
‘Kiss me, Louis.’ Her voice was just shy of a whisper, her vanilla-scented breath dancing across his lips. ‘Prove to me you don’t find me a total turn-off.’
He’d kissed lots of women and had always been able to walk away. Always. It was his modus operandi. No strings. No follow-up dates. Just plain and simple one-night sex. But if he kissed Ivy he would be crossing a line he’d sworn he would never cross. He kept his relationships short—if you could call them relationships. Those ‘relationships’ were easy to walk away from without regret. But he already had a long-term relationship with Ivy. Not a sexual one, but a friendship that would be completely changed if he acted on her wishes. The last thing he wanted to do was rush into a one-night stand with Ivy until he understood exactly what she wanted from him.
His conscience leaned indolently against the back wall of his mind and smirked. Oh, so you’re actually going to consider sleeping with her?
Louis summoned every bit of self-restraint he possessed and stepped back from her, dropping his hands from around her arms. He schooled his features into suave city playboy. ‘If I kiss you, things could get hotter than you can handle. Are you sure you’re ready for that, ma petite?’
A flicker of uncertainty passed over her face. ‘Not completely, but if you won’t do it then I’ll have to resort to my Plan B.’
‘Which is?’
Her small chin came up to a defiant height. ‘I’ll have to ask a stranger to do it.’
He held her gaze for a throbbing moment, his mind whirling with images of creepy strangers taking advantage of her guilelessness, and his guts churned with bile. No way was he going to let some filthy jerk touch her. There were some real weirdos out there these days, men who wanted to fulfil their darkest pornographic fantasies without considering their partner’s wishes. Ivy wouldn’t have the experience to handle something like that. It would totally destroy her.
‘No, you will not do that.’ He channelled his best schoolmaster voice, throwing in a deep frown for good measure.
Her expression became hopeful. ‘So, you’ll agree to help me?’
Louis speared a hand through his hair, then stood with his hands on his hips in a braced position. ‘We’ll come to that later. For now, I want to know why you got to the age of almost thirty with your virginity intact.’
Her gaze drifted away from his, her cheeks firing up again. ‘I’ve always been a little bit uncomfortable even talking about sex, mostly because my mum has always been so out there about it—especially since she and Dad got divorced.’ She glanced up at him. ‘Did you know she’s studying to be a sex therapist now? Sex is all she talks about.’
‘Yeah, I heard about her new venture. But why not talk to her about...?’
A look of horror passed over her face. ‘No way! I want to fix this on my own... Well, not quite on my own...with your help.’
He went back behind his desk and pulled out h
is office chair. ‘Look, I’m on a tight deadline, but can we talk about this over dinner tonight? I’ll pick you up at eight.’
Dinner? His conscience smirked again. Dinner and then what? Dinner and nothing, that’s what. Nothing to see here, as the saying goes.
‘Are you still in the flat in Islington?’
‘Yep. My two friends Millie and Zoey have moved in with me now. The rent on my own was killing me.’
‘Why didn’t you say something? I could have helped you.’
A glimmer of pride entered her gaze. ‘You’ve done enough for my family already—helping Mum with the mortgage last year when she got behind with the payments. She’ll never be able to repay you, you know. She’s always been hopeless with money.’
Louis’ frown was back. Harder. Deeper. Seemed no one kept a promise these days. He’d insisted Deirdre Kennedy keep quiet about his offer to help her out of yet another financial hole because he genuinely hadn’t wanted Ronan or Ivy to suffer any more stress than they already had. He’d been particularly worried about Ronan. Finally coming out to your divorced parents and then being rejected by your father was enough to set off an existential crisis in the most stable of people. It had taken the best part of two years for him to feel comfortable Ronan was out of danger.
Louis sat in his chair and absently straightened some papers on his desk. ‘She told you about that?’
Ivy nodded, her look grim. ‘I forced it out of her. Ronan doesn’t know, does he?’
He leaned back in his chair, picked up his fountain pen and rocked it back and forth between his thumb and index finger. ‘It wasn’t a big deal to me. It’s just money. And I didn’t want to worry you or Ronan. You had enough going on with your father’s reaction to Ronan’s situation.’
She gave a tight-lipped smile, but it was at odds with the shadow that passed through her gaze. ‘All the same, it was nice of you to step in like that. Mum would have lost the house if it hadn’t been for you.’
Louis let the pen drop back on the desk with a little clatter. ‘Have you told Ronan about this hare-brained scheme of yours?’
Ivy brought her gaze back to his. ‘No. But he’s hardly likely to find out now he’s in Australia with Ricky. Anyway, he’d worry too much. He’s been warning me for years about not getting fanciful ideas about you.’
‘What fanciful ideas?’ Louis knew he shouldn’t ask.
‘He said you weren’t the marriage-and-babies type. But I told him not to worry about me because I would never be interested in a man who didn’t want marriage and babies.’
If she mentioned ‘marriage and babies’ one more time he was going to blow a fuse. Not his most favourite words in the English language. His parents had married and had one baby and look how that had turned out. Thirty-five-plus years of misery for all concerned. ‘I’m not sure falling in love works quite that way,’ Louis pointed out. ‘People fall in love with the wrong people all the time.’ His parents being a case in point. Totally unsuited to each other but they soldiered on regardless. ‘Soldiered’ being a pertinent word, since every day was a battleground of injured egos, resentments, grievances and bitterness.
Ivy tilted her head and studied him for a moment. ‘Have you ever been in love?’
‘No.’
Her eyebrows rose. ‘Not even once? Like when you were a teenager or...?’
‘Nope.’
‘But surely you must have felt a flicker of something for someone along the line?’ She looked at him quizzically. ‘You’ve had heaps of lovers. Have you just been using them all for sex?’
‘Ahem, you’re the one who wants to use me for sex, so don’t go jumping up on your high horse just yet,’ Louis said, holding her gaze.
She shifted her nose from side to side like a cute little bunny. ‘It’s not the same thing at all. I have an established relationship with you. You’re like an older brother to me.’ Her forehead creased in a tiny frown and she added, ‘Well, maybe not so much a brother figure—because that would be kind of creepy and weird, having sex with you—but a good mate. Someone I can always rely on.’
A good mate would have stopped this conversation before it had got started. Drawn a thick black line through it. Frogmarched her out of his office and told her to go and get some therapy. Talking about this scheme of hers was like allowing a dangerous mind-altering vapour to infiltrate the air-conditioning. It was fuelling his forbidden fantasies, making it harder and harder to find a reason to say no. ‘Have you told anyone about this plan of yours?’
‘No. I wanted to ask you first.’
Louis leaned forward again and straightened the same papers next to his computer. ‘I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.’ He glanced back at her with a stern frown. ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing?’
Ivy picked up her bag from his desk and smiled so brightly she could have been advertising toothpaste. ‘But that’s the whole point—I don’t know what I’m doing, but you’re going to teach me.’
The scary thing was...Louis was seriously, dangerously, tempted to do exactly that.
Copyright © 2020 by Melanie Milburne
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ISBN-13: 9781488068591
Confessions of an Italian Marriage
Copyright © 2020 by Dani Collins
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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