by Marie Harte
“Hmm, what else? You prefer guns to knives or poisons. You hate oppression of any kind. You especially hate people who are mean to kids and pets. You like dogs over cats, and you hate to cook.”
“I don’t think I’d say hate. I’d much rather gather the ingredients and let someone else put them together.”
“That’s okay. I love to cook.”
His slow smile had the butterflies inside her doing somersaults.
“But what I really want to know…”
“Yes?”
“Were you serious before? In the hotel? You said you wanted me in all ways.” An allusion to that kinky sex he’d requested. “Do you still?”
He tensed and slowly put his cards down. “Do you really have to ask?” He glanced down at himself.
She followed his gaze and saw the erection straining at his pants. Heat blazed within her.
“Addy, I want you any way I can have you. And yes, to answer your question, I want your ass in the worst way. I’ve been dreaming about taking you there. Hell, about having you under me again. We never got to finish that date.” He dimmed a little. “I still blame myself for not taking better care of you. I’ll never forget the look on your face when I found you. That bastard hurt you, and I wasn’t there to stop that.”
“He barely touched me.” She leaned closer and put a hand on his cheek. “Noel, it wasn’t your fault. This mess belongs to whoever is trying to hurt you. I understand your responsibilities. Remember, my dad was a cop. He put bad guys away all the time. Once in a while that spilled over to Mom and me. We stayed at my aunt’s a time or two while Dad dealt with the threat. Mom never blamed him. And neither did I.”
“But I’m not a cop. I kill people, Addy.” He looked upset, which for Noel was saying something. “For all you know, I really am one of the bad guys. I’m sorry, but there’s no one you can call to confirm what I told you. They can’t know that you know. Not officially.”
She didn’t understand all that, but she did know the truth when she heard it. “I believe you, Noel. And I’m okay with what you are.”
“Do you mean that?” He scooped her into his lap in seconds and just held her there, his chin on top of her head. “Addy, I don’t want to pressure you. But my feelings for you are deep. They have been for a long time, but I wouldn’t let myself acknowledge them.”
She smiled. “You’re the only man who makes my heart race when he’s near. The only guy who’s ever made me so crazy I forgot all about protection when he was inside me. And you’re the only one I’ve stalked for two years.” She met his surprised gaze when he glanced down at her. “Did you ever wonder how I’d be on your doorstep whenever you got home? You stayed away for weeks, sometimes months, but I was always there when you came back. I, um, well, I kept an eye out for you.”
“You did?” He beamed. “Damn.”
“Solene thinks I’m nuts. So did I. But I wanted to know more about you. You’re so sexy, in a somber, assassin-like kind of way.”
“Shut up.” His cheeks were pink.
“And you’re so shy one minute, so domineering the next. I loved being with you in Seattle. And I know you’ll always keep me safe.”
His eyes filled with an emotion she didn’t dare name. Not yet, because she wanted it so much. To be loved the way she loved him. To lighten the mood, she plucked at his shirt button, satisfied when he followed the movement without blinking.
“So, Noel, when are we going to finish our date?”
“Soon, very soon,” he said, his voice husky. “But for now, what say we have a little refresher?” Noel turned her on his lap and had her straddle his waist. He put a hand on her belly and slid it under her skirt and panties, seeking the heat of her. “Damn. You’re wet.”
She refused to be left behind. So she unbuttoned and unzipped his fly, then pushed beneath his underwear to grip him. “And you’re hard and hot.”
He groaned and thrust into her hand. “I want inside you.”
“No condom?”
“No condom,” he agreed, then groaned. “Fuck. No condom.” Noel only swore when he was on the edge.
Just like her right now. “How about we play instead, sexy?”
He nodded, staring at her while he slid his fingers over her wet folds, priming her as he rubbed her clit. Then he pumped a finger inside her and added another.
“Let’s see who comes first,” he challenged, his voice thick.
“Oh, let’s.” She couldn’t help moving over him, wanting more of that pleasurable pressure. While she did, she gripped him, sliding her hand up and down and giving him as much tension as she could around that thick shaft. He was so big, so hard. She loved feeling how she affected him. And the slick feel of his cockhead told her he was close.
“Come for me, Addy.” He watched her, and knowing he saw all her pleasure increased her arousal.
“Come for me, Noel.” She pumped faster, felt him drawing closer, and shared in his desire. Her moans and pants mirrored his, until they were both groaning and striving for that ultimate release.
“Yes, baby. Coming,” he growled and shoved his fingers deeper inside her.
That action set him off, and he came while she clamped around his fingers, her spasms making it hard to breathe while she climaxed with her lover.
They sat together, joined in release, and stared into each other’s eyes.
“Addy.”
“Noel.”
He smiled. “Only with you.”
“Yes, baby.” She knew he liked it when she called him that. She held him tighter, and he flexed and moaned as he spurted again. “Only with you.”
Once they cleaned up, he walked her back home. “We have to finish our first date,” he reminded her. “How about Wednesday night?”
“Will Deacon watch Griffith for you?”
He chuckled. “That poor kid has got the worst names to choose from. But yeah, I’ll make—I mean, ask—Deacon to watch his baby while I get inside my girlfriend’s pants.”
“So romantic, Noel.”
They both laughed.
Then she asked, “Is that what I am? Your girlfriend?”
“You’re so much more than that. My girlfriend, my lover. You’re it for me, Addy. I don’t want to scare you off, but I’m not into games. When this mess is over, I want us to be together. Just thought you should know.”
He kissed her at the door, then nudged her inside when she stared at him in shock.
He wants us to be together?
“Yo, Deacon, quit arguing with Solene. Let’s go.” Noel tapped her chin. “Close your mouth, Addy. And don’t worry. I’m going to give you time to get used to the idea. Once I’m done with work, I’ll be living on the island full time. So I can be patient.”
“Patient? For what?” Solene asked, coming behind them.
Deacon took the baby from her and whistled as he left.
Noel kissed Addy before following Deacon.
Solene pulled her inside. “What’s going on?”
“Noel and I are dating. And I think, I mean, I could be wrong, but I think he just asked me to marry him. Without asking me to marry him.” She paused in thought. “But he never actually mentioned marriage or love. He just said he wanted us to be together. What the hell does that mean?”
“Hmm. That’s pretty slick. Sounds to me like you want to get married to Mr. Murder. Before you left, you were on pins and needles about your killer boyfriend. Now everything’s perfect?” Solene groaned. “You people are giving me a headache. Men. Blech. I can’t handle any more. I’m going to bed.”
Addy blinked. “It’s six o’clock.”
“I’m taking a bubble bath then,” Solene snapped. “And you’re making dinner. I stayed here with Sir Annoys-a-Lot while you and Noel made up. The only thing saving you from a real tongue-lashing is that I’m half in love with th
at baby. He is sooo cute. Still not worth dealing with Deacon. But whatever. I’m tired. I’m annoyed. Oh, and I’m glad you’re happy. Now I’m going to soak. Call me when dinner’s ready.”
Addy watched Solene stalk away and practically danced into the kitchen. Noel loved her—didn’t he? She could feel it. He had to feel that closeness if he wanted forever with her. Did he want that? She did. Addy envisioned marriage and babies and a white picket fence—around that house next door.
She continued to dream about Noel while she fixed a salad and chicken.
But reality intruded once more when she noticed the baby bottle Deacon had forgotten to take with him.
Noel might be the father of another woman’s child. The mother had left the boy behind, but that was no guarantee she would never return. And what about Noel’s past? He wanted out of his current job. Would they let him go? What would Noel do here? She had no idea what his finances might be like. Just because they were hot in the sack and out of it, the real world, devoid of travel and glamor, might wear thin after a while.
And he’d never said he loved her.
She had a lot to think about. The least of which would be her date on Wednesday night, when they got down and dirty and made the rest of her fantasies come true.
She snorted. Real life can wait. He said he’d be patient. Well, I want my dreams to come true while we’re sorting out the rest. Yes, much better to prioritize sex and the now over a future that might never come to be.
The pragmatic teacher in her made plans, and Addy smiled to herself as she realized that in order to make things work with Noel, she’d have to lead him there. They’d play by her rules.
He might know the ins and outs of a pistol, but she knew how to handle a man afraid of love.
Chapter Ten
Noel walked back with a whistling Deacon and a giggling baby.
“You know, he’s a happy guy,” Deacon was saying about the infant. “Of course, wrapped up in soft arms and against Solene’s rack, I’m sure I’d be happy too.” He snorted. “Damn woman is a hothead, but she’s finer than shit. You know?”
Noel had been half-listening. “What?”
Deacon frowned. “Why are you wearing different pants?”
“Oh, I spilled something on them.” More like he’d left a stain on them, but Deacon didn’t need the details. Just the thought of how Addy had handled him made him hard again. Hell, the woman could breathe and he grew aroused. Then to learn she’d been looking for him for the past few years while he’d been checking up on her?
They were made for each other. He must have done something right with his life to have Addy as a reward.
“Hey, genius. Stop daydreaming about your girlfriend and take the kid. I think he needs a change.”
Deacon handed over the baby and hotfooted it inside the house.
Noel smelled the truth of the matter and hurried to the changing table in the spare room. “Geez, kid. You stink.” He set the boy down and removed the diaper, doing his best not to gag. He’d gotten pretty good at changing diapers. Without Deacon or Hammer for a break, he’d in fact started to grow attached to the well-tempered baby.
Said baby grabbed for his finger and smiled.
Noel’s heart pounded as he stared down and smiled back. “Am I your father?” he whispered. As far-fetched as the idea seemed, he wasn’t so opposed to it anymore. A future with Addy and babies felt right.
No more killing. No more destruction. Here he could build a life. His garden, his girlfriend, his future. But without the Business, he didn’t know what he’d do for a living. With the amount of money he’d earned and his investments, he never had to work again. The one huge perk for contract work—it paid extremely well. Since most contractors didn’t make it past the first year, Noel, Deacon, and Hammer were considered pros in their field.
“I’m leaving my job,” he told the baby, who squirmed on the table.
Quickly disposing of the diaper in a nearby container and cleaning the baby before re-diapering him, he stared down at the little guy. “Time to start new. Maybe you could stay with me and Addy. We could be a family.”
Family.
The word felt rusty on his tongue. He had hazy recollections of his parents before the car crash that had ended everything.
Fights between his father and mother. A happiness all too normal, because it had been fleeting. They loved each other, but his parents had been very different. She’d wanted more children, to settle down. He’d been married to his job, traveling, and making good money forecasting for businesses. They’d been apart more than they’d been together, but Noel had always looked forward to his father’s return.
His father hadn’t wanted children in the first place, but he’d loved Noel. Had been fond of his wife as well, though Noel had sensed the friction between them, had heard the accusations of infidelity.
The car crash had been a fluke. A slick road, bad weather, and a flooded river. Only by some miracle had he not been swept up in the flood as well, rescued by a group of firemen already close by trying to save a stray dog stranded in the roaring waters.
Noel had tried to overcome his grief by being a stellar student, never getting in trouble. But an abusive foster family hadn’t helped.
Then he’d been on his own, living on the streets. There he’d met Big Joe’s predecessor, a burly man with notions of right and wrong, and odd ideas of how to fix all the bad in the world.
That man had seen something in Noel. The way he’d seen something in Deacon and Hammer and all the others recruited young into the Business.
Noel felt a sense of loyalty, yes, but he’d given them enough.
He heard Deacon’s footsteps.
“Is it safe?” Deacon entered and sniffed. “Mostly safe, I think.”
Noel lifted the now clean baby in his arms. He didn’t feel awkward holding such innocence anymore. He felt protective. “Deacon?”
“Yeah?” Deacon lifted light gray eyes to his, that gaze seeing far more than many would suspect. Noel knew Deacon liked to be thought of as shallow, charming, basic. But the man was much more, a keen intellect who studied and dissected problems with ease.
“I’m leaving.”
Deacon watched him. “Leaving…?”
“The Business. I’m done.”
Deacon said nothing, studying him. “Is this because of the baby?”
“No. It’s been a while in coming.” He heard a yawn and put the baby to his shoulder, patting him softly on the back, as he’d seen Addy do. “I know what we do matters. That we help make the world a better place. But I’m tired of killing. I want more than that. I want to plant my boring vegetables.” He saw Deacon’s lips quirk. “Watch the sunset from one place, not from a different port in a different country each night. I want to know I’m building something, not just taking something or someone down.”
Deacon stared at the back of the baby’s head. “You know, I get it. Those of us who do this work understand like no one else can.”
“Yes.”
“I think about it too. About leaving. But I have nothing else. It’s not that I like killing people. Though I admit it’s sometimes satisfying. I don’t have that problem with right and wrong like you do, Noel. Ice. You’re cold because you think it’s wrong to fix problems the way we do. But I don’t. I love living in the gray.” He smiled, but the expression stopped short of his eyes. “Sometimes doing all the right things the right way won’t solve a problem. They need us, Noel.”
“Yes, but they don’t need me anymore. I’m done, Deacon.”
“I understand. But do you think Big Joe will?”
“I hope he does. I’d hate to kill him to prove a point.” He nestled the baby against him as he tensed, hoping like hell it wouldn’t come to that.
“You have a baby to protect.”
“Deacon, we both know there’s a
strong possibility this baby is yours.”
“Or Hammer’s,” Deacon was quick to point out. He sighed. “I know, man. Honestly, I’m tired of all of the shit too.” He looked into Noel’s eyes. “It’s easier talking about it with someone who understands. You and Hammer. This kid.” Deacon grinned. “We’re friends now, aren’t we, Noel? Kinda like family, even.”
Noel grimaced. “I guess so.”
Deacon laughed, then lowered his voice when they saw the baby drift off. “That’s good. Friends are good. I’m a loyal kind of guy. So’s Hammer. Unless you fuck us over, we’ll stand by you and the kid.” He nodded to the baby. “We’re the good ones, the ones who know when too much brutality is too much. There are a lot of guys in the Business who don’t know when to quit. Big Joe will let you off, Noel. I’ll make sure of it.”
Noel couldn’t believe his good fortune. Unless Deacon was dicking with him. “Don’t lie to me, because I’ll know.”
“Nah, you won’t. I’m good at what I do.” Deacon grinned. “I’m not lying about this, though. That kid is special. Something good that came from one of us. I swear to you the kid will be okay. One way or the other.”
Noel nodded. “Good. The thing that still bothers me is we have nothing on the mother. Hammer still hasn’t learned anything.”
“Damn. I picked up some interesting ideas while you were gone. Aside from knowing what diapers and wipes work best with the stink-butt”—he nodded at the baby—“I can tell you that someone out there hates you, me, and Hammer.”
“I get Wilkes hating me because I killed his brother.” Ted, the fake meth head with the botched attempted mugging. “But all three of us?” Noel glanced at the baby again and continued to rock him. “So the baby is connected to the attempts to kill me?”
“I can’t say for certain, but I think so.” Deacon grabbed a notepad out of the back pocket of his jeans. “I was going to wait for Hammer to get back to share this, but what the hell. What else do we have to do?”