by Banks, R. R.
When I looked back on it, that was the look that I saw in Virgil’s eyes when we first met. In my youthful starry-eyed stupidity, I thought that I was seeing love at first sight. Instead, what I was really experiencing was greed at first what-did-you-say-your-name-was-again. Not that Virgil was completely destitute. If he was, we wouldn’t have met at the oppressively boring party held by a particularly vacuous daughter of one of my father’s clients. I later found out that he wasn’t there as an invited guest, but by that time, I was already in too deep.
I didn’t want to make that mistake again. I didn’t want to see either one of those looks. I had sunk away into normalcy when I was at the ceremony, and I wanted to keep that rolling. I tried to adjust the shawl again so that I looked a touch less matronly, but gave up when I saw the stream of guests starting around the corner.
“Why?” I asked, turning toward Noah.
“Because you’re my Auntie and I wanted to introduce you to everyone.”
He had the same slightly pouty look that he always got when he was a little boy and I had to withhold a laugh. He was a grown man on his wedding day and I had to remember that. Fishing a butterscotch out of my pocket and hiding in his fort with him until he was over whatever was bothering him wasn’t going to work this time.
“You can still introduce me to whoever you want to, Honey. You just don’t have to tell them who I am.”
“But…”
“You better hurry if you are going to get those pictures before your big introduction,” I said, cutting off his next statement. “I’m going to head on in and browse around a little. Something smells delicious in there and I want to get my hands on it before the other guests.”
I gave him a wink and shuffled off toward the entrance to the reception. A warm, sugary smell was wafting through the air toward me, making my stomach rumble. I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, determined that I was going to fit into the sheath, but the combination of control top pantyhose and sitting through the ceremony had created enough wiggle room in the dress that I knew I was going to be able to sneak in a few of the treats that Noah had told me he created for the wedding as a surprise for his beloved bride. I was one of the few people who knew of his passion for baking and had supported him in it since he was young. In fact, I was proud to say that I had taught him the hummingbird cake recipe that had become his Thanksgiving tradition. My brother wasn’t as thrilled about his only son’s ambitions and had always hoped that he would just put it behind him and go into one of the several industries through which our family had built its wealth and power. Noah had done both, letting his father funnel him into the Royal and Company Advertising Agency while still fostering his love of baking on the side. It was that love that had brought him to Snow, though the agency would have as well.
I sighed as I stepped into the beautifully decorated reception and looked around for a moment. I wished that I had even a hint of what the two of them felt that day. Even in the days when I was swept away by Virgil, the days when I really thought that we were in love and that we were going to have a wonderful life ahead of us, we never looked at each other the way that Snow and Noah did. There was something there, something so powerful and pure it went beyond anything that I had ever experienced. It was easy to feel as though you were in love with a person when you only ever knew their surface or when the love that you gave them was only a show for others who might be looking in. The way that they looked at each other was different. It was as though they were looking into each other, not past the faults and issues that they knew were there, but at them. They stared right into the darkest parts of each other, pulled close to the mistakes and problems of each other’s pasts, and told those parts, without hesitation, without fear, “I love you”.
I continued to pity myself and lament the years that I had spent with Virgil as I made my way around the room, eating whatever I could get my fingers on, as Snow and Noah made their grand entrance and he swept her onto the dancefloor, and even as we dispersed to our tables to sip coffee and wine and eat even more desserts. I had avoided sitting down since my seat was at Noah’s family table and was hovering close enough to the bar that I could confidently say that my decorum and etiquette were at serious risk, when thoughts of fairy tale romance left, quickly to be replaced by something much more fiery – and much more fun to contemplate.
Across the nearly-empty dancefloor I saw a man standing by one of the dessert tables, one hand grasping a drink and the other holding a pick carefully between his fingers, staring at the empty end of it and then the piece of chocolate-dipped fruit on the floor. He looked back and forth between them again as if he was trying to understand what happened and why the fruit would have betrayed him in such a way. There was an awkwardness about him, that sense that he wasn’t fully comfortable in his own skin and wasn’t sure how to properly take up space in the world. But even from the distance and through the glasses that were sliding somewhat precariously down his nose, I could see that this man was gorgeous. Young and gorgeous, and I immediately had the feeling that that was exactly what I needed.
The last time that a man touched me had been so long ago I didn’t even want to think about it.
To be honest, I didn’t really want to think about him touching me, either.
I had spent too much time thinking about Virgil, what he thought of me, and what I was supposed to do to keep harmony between us, even when it became abundantly and excruciatingly obvious that that was completely in vain. Now I had broken free and I wanted to know what it was like to do something just for the sake of my own enjoyment, just so that I could know what it was like to have carefree, unfettered, non-manipulated fun.
I waved away the bartender who was approaching me with the quintessential white towel tucked in the side of his belt, as though it was just waiting for the opportunity to wipe the counter aimlessly while I spilled out my troubles.
Did people do that at weddings? Probably those with the “Pick a Seat” signs.
As I crossed the dancefloor that was starting to fill again, I caught the man’s eyes. I gave him a small smile, but he just looked back at me as if he wasn’t sure what that expression meant. He had gone back to looking between the pick in his hand and the fruit on the floor when I approached. I used the tip of my shoe to ease the strawberry under the edge of the tablecloth, trying to ignore the little voice inside of me that was horrified that I would do such a thing and instead listen to the child I used to be who would have likely scrambled under the table myself just to get away from all of the pomp and circumstance.
When the strawberry disappeared, I leaned forward toward the man.
“It’ll be our little secret,” I said in a whisper loud enough to be heard over the music that had suddenly filled the room, but that I hoped still had a sultry conspiratorial note to it.
“Alright,” he said.
He seemed like he was about to say something else when out of the corner of my eye I saw Noah and Snow approaching. She had bustled her dress and looked like she was gliding along as she held her new husband’s arm tenderly.
“Well, it seems the two of you have met,” Noah said as he stopped by my side.
“Not formally,” I said, flashing another smile.
“Eleanor, this is Hunter. He’s been a dear friend of Snow’s for many years, has become one of mine, and is one of the most valuable people at Royal and Company.”
That explained the glasses and the sense of need for organization and a to-do list that seemed to hover around him.
“Hello, Hunter,” I said, extending a hand to him.
He took it and gave a hearty pump worthy of any chess club president.
That cinched it. He has absolutely no idea who I am.
“Hello,” he said.
“Hunter,” Noah said, the hint of a laugh obvious in his voice. “This is Eleanor, my a—”
“Elementary school teacher,” I said in a rush of words.
“What?” Hunter, Snow, and
Noah all said at the same time, looking at me.
“Elementary school teacher,” I repeated, a little slower this time. “Third grade.” It was the first thing that had popped into my head, a lingering thought from the ceremony. I nodded emphatically, hoping that it would convince Noah and Snow to go along with me, and Hunter to believe what I was telling him. “He was my star student. Best coloring in class.”
I reached out and patted Noah’s back, seeming to break him out of the stunned silence that had fallen over him. His eyes snapped from me back to Hunter and he started nodding as I was.
“Yep,” he said. “Eleanor the Teacher. Taught me everything I know about…coloring.”
“You didn’t know how to color in the third grade?” Hunter asked.
“Oh, he did,” I said. “It was just nuances. You know…outlining…shading…choosing the Macaroni and Cheese Crayola over the generic orange. Details.”
“Of course,” Hunter said, staring at the three of us as if he thought that he had fallen into some sort of alternate reality.
The song changed and Snow turned to Noah.
“I love this song,” she said.
“Then we should be dancing to it,” he said. He looked between me and Hunter. “Why don’t the two of you join us?”
I was surprised when Hunter put down the jewel-topped pick and offered his hand to me. I rested my hand in his, feeling a spark as soon as our skin touched. He guided me out to the dancefloor and turned me gracefully so that I settled into his arms. Our bodies moved together effortlessly, the music itself seeming to transport us away. Hunter wouldn’t make eye contact with me, but occasionally his gaze flickered past mine. His dance moves were measured and precise, but somewhat creaky as though he had been trained in these dances, but it was some time in the past and he hadn’t had much chance to use it.
The music changed and Hunter started to pull away from me, but I tightened my hand over his.
“Another one?” I asked.
He looked at me, for the first time letting our eyes lock together for more than a moment, and nodded. The attraction that I had immediately felt for the man grew the longer we danced and by the time that Snow and Noah cut the cake, I was nearly breathless with need for him. This wasn’t something that I had ever experienced, and I was relishing every second of it.
The new couple had swept out of the reception under a flurry of flower petals and bubbles when I turned to Hunter.
“Are you staying in the hotel tonight?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“No.”
“Well, I have a suite,” I told him. “Could I interest you in a nightcap? Toast Snow and Noah?”
Hunter nodded.
“Sure,” he said. “They asked me to take the guest book, though, so I’ll have to wait until everyone has kind of made their way out.”
I smiled.
“That’s fine,” I said. “I’ll just open up a bottle of champagne. Maybe I’ll order a little snack from room service. The sugar rush was a bit much for me.”
I slipped him a key to my suite, enjoying the tremble in my belly as I did so, and swept out of the room. As soon as I got into my suite, I rushed into the bathroom to freshen up. After a fast bath, I changed into a slinky nightgown that could almost pass as a dress and shook my hair down. I refreshed my makeup and was just pouring glasses of champagne when I heard the door open. I turned toward the door and saw Hunter step in. His eyes locked on me and I saw a flash in their green depths. Without thinking, I crossed the room to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing my mouth to his.
Hunter seemed to welcome the kiss. His hands came to my waist, settling on my lower back and pressing me up against him. Our mouths played across each other for a few moments before I started to guide him back toward the sofa in the center of the room. I could have brought him to the bedroom but it was up a narrow winding staircase at the far end of the suite and, frankly, I didn’t have the patience to go that far. I wanted him right then, and it didn’t matter where we were.
When we reached the sofa I toppled backwards, pulling him down with me. His weight pressed down on me and I lifted my leg to hook over his hip, drawing him closer. One hand came to my thigh, moving my nightgown out of the way so that his fingertips could press into my skin. Suddenly his mouth broke away from mine and he pulled back. Hunter looked down at me, his eyes flickering over my face. I could see questions in his gaze and my hands tightened on his back, knowing what he was thinking. It didn’t matter though. He pushed back away from me, jumping to his feet.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, starting to the door.
I swung my legs around and sat up, my cheeks burning as I tried to cover myself.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Hunter glanced back at me, but then shook his head and rushed out of the room, closing the door firmly behind him.
When I was over the humiliating shock enough that I was able to move, I got up and walked over to the table where I was pouring the glasses of champagne when Hunter arrived. I downed both glasses in quick succession before grabbing the bottle and carrying it off to the bedroom so that I could tuck myself into bed and nurse the rejection.
I was still feeling the fog of the bottle of champagne and the good cry that came from a truly simpering romantic movie the next morning when I dragged myself out of bed. I would have loved to have called down to the front desk to arrange for a late checkout and continued to sleep, but when my alarm went off I remembered that I didn’t have the time for that. I needed to get up, pack, and call for my car so that I could get to the cruise ship on time. I had arranged for a celebratory cruise for several people from the wedding as a special gift for Noah and Snow, and I couldn’t really be a good hostess from a hungover stupor in a hotel bed, no matter how luxurious that bed might be.
I dressed in my pink linen travel suit, topped it with a large-brimmed hat and huge dark sunglasses that thankfully looked sophisticated as they did their level best to conceal dark bags and worn skin that even the best of makeup couldn’t combat, and headed down to the lobby. My driver was already waiting for me and I breezed past the desk and into the idling car, waiting until the door was closed behind me to sag back against the seat and reach for one of the chilled sodas I kept tucked in a cooler. I pressed the can against my chest, hoping the cold would perk me up a bit, then popped open the can and guzzled down the almost painfully bubbly, sweet drink.
Feeling slightly refreshed, I looked out the window as the car pulled away from the hotel and toward the marina. I intended to arrive to the boat early so that I could ensure that all of the cabins were properly prepared for the guests, but it would be a long enough drive that it would give me more time than I wanted to contemplate what had happened after the wedding. If I had my way, I would just erase that memory from my mind and continue on with my life without ever having to think about it again.
I must have drifted off into a mercifully dreamless sleep at some point during the drive because suddenly I felt the car stop and heard the driver close his door. I scrambled to sit upright, wiping my face and straightening my hair. Dylan might have been driving me for longer than Hunter had been alive and seen me at virtually all stages of my life, but that didn’t mean that he needed to witness me drooling on myself in the backseat because I was still riding a little bit of a buzz and a whole lot of self-loathing.
The sun was absurdly bright as I stepped out the car and looked at the ship. Seeing it gave me a bit of a boost. This was exactly what I needed. Some time away and the chance to have fun while also hosting some of the people who meant the most to Noah and Snow. I knew that my brother wasn’t going to be there. I had extended an invitation to him, but he was far too busy with all of his work to take time out just to take a cruise to celebrate his son’s wedding. It wasn’t intentional neglect. He wouldn’t purposely hurt Noah. He was just so far invested in the empire that our father had handed down to him, afraid every day that he would somehow lose it
and our only remaining link to the man we both loved so much, that it was sometimes hard for him to think of anything else.
I took a breath and started toward the ship. I would get in touch with the director and ensure that all of the arrangements that I had made for my guests had been handled, then I would settle into my cabin, take in a show, and be ready for a formal dinner that evening. The water surged as I stepped onto the boat and I pressed my hand to my suddenly swimming head as the deck swayed beneath my feet.
Maybe I would dine in for the evening.
Chapter Three
Gavin
“It’s about time,” I muttered to myself.
I could finally see the cruise ship in the distance and let out a long sigh of relief, but also of dread knowing that even though I saw the ship ahead my work for the night was far from over. In fact, seeing the ship was just the signal that the real effort was about to start, and it wasn’t going to be fun. It felt like I had been traveling through the open water aimlessly trying to follow the convoluted directions that had been given to me. At this point I couldn’t tell if the instructions were really that horrible, or if the cruise liner was just that far off schedule. Either way, I was already exhausted and didn’t feel like going through with this anymore. Now that the moon was high and illuminating the top of the water, and I could see the imposing silhouette of the ship against the sky, it was a relief and I felt a little boost of motivation to get this over with and collect my pay. Now all I had to do was wait.
The boat drifted slightly closer to the ship and I killed the engine so that anyone who might be on the deck wouldn’t hear it and alert any of the crew to my presence. That was really the last thing that I needed. I hadn’t come up with a story to explain why I was there, and if the situation arose that I was going to have to, I didn’t really see myself coming up with anything particularly convincing. My eyes scanned the rail as I looked for any indication that the time for action had come. The ship seemed surprisingly calm. I hadn’t ever been on a cruise, but when I imagined it, what came to mind was images of couples strolling together along the decks, singles on the prowl hoping to land that night’s conquest, and possibly the occasional child screaming, confirming to the others that they wanted to stay childless for the rest of their lives. What I was looking at, though, was a ship that seemed largely empty. The hulking vessel seemed quiet and still. There were lights glowing in the windows so I knew that it hadn’t been abandoned, but I didn’t see or hear any of the signs of a lively cruise that I had anticipated.