It was a kiss of remorse, forgiveness, love, and Meg swallowed it up. She didn’t need time to ponder, to digest what he said. Call her foolish, but she believed him and missed him terribly.
Meg reluctantly pulled away, wiping tears from her eyes. “I guess I owe you an explanation too.”
“No, babe, I made some assumptions. It’s gonna be hard on the ego to accept that your best friend is a guy. Even if he is…”
“Gay? Tracy and I met my freshman year in college. We were lab partners, and he was the worst student I ever tutored. All he cared about was fashion and makeovers, but he signed up for anatomy and physiology because he thought he’d get to ogle naked men.” Meg laughed through her tears as Connor grimaced. “We were both oddballs, and we clicked. I became his working model when he was trying out new fashion designs. Next thing I knew, I had a new hairdo, a shopping buddy and someone to show me the right way to dress. Apparently, dressing like the Amish was totally out. He helped out a lot with Emma too. Tracy is an amazing man. He may look totally superficial, but he taught me a lot about the importance of feeling good about myself. It’s never really been about the clothes, but representing myself in a way I want to be viewed and feeling good about who I am.”
“I’m glad you have him as a friend, Meg. Really.”
“Me too. I miss him. He’s the only one I ever confided in…before you, and it took two bottles of wine and a quart of ice cream to get it out of me.”
“So I should be honored it only took four months of my constant pressure for you to confide in me?” he teased.
“Thank you for not giving up on me.” She turned her lips toward his and breathed in his kiss, running her hands up and down his back, anxious to caress him, needing to touch him. His hands trailed down her spine, hers wandered under his sweatshirt and made contact with his hard, flat stomach.
Within seconds, he had her on her back and straddled her as his hands and mouth constantly moved over her inviting body.
“God, Meg. I want you so bad.” He nipped her ear and trailed kisses down her neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“You know, I hear make-up sex is amazing,” she moaned.
Connor sat up, still straddling her, and raked his hands over his face. “Shit. Meg, I didn’t mean to lose control.” He rolled off her and helped her to a sitting position. “I didn’t come here to have sex with you.”
“Ouch. So now I understand how you’ve felt all these months when I’ve turned you down.”
“No, no, no, no. Babe, there’s nothing I want more than to make love to you, but not this way.”
“Oh, I guess I’m kind of inexperienced—”
“Oh, honey.” He cupped her face and kissed her lightly on the lips. “You’re perfect. I don’t want your first time to be make-up sex. We’ll have plenty of time for that later. I want your first time to be an experience you’ll always remember.”
“Well, it’s funny you say that.” Meg shimmied out from under him and removed a manila folder from her briefcase. “Here.” She handed the folder to him.
“What’s this?”
“I had planned on surprising you with this two weeks ago but…well, stuff happened.” She bit her lip and smoothed out her shirt while he flipped through the papers.
“The Colony Hotel? You made hotel reservations? For us?”
“Yeah,” she said shyly.
“I’ve never been, but I hear the rooms are pretty nice. Ocean view. Jacuzzi in some rooms. You didn’t cancel the reservations after…after what I pulled?”
“No, I forgot, and then I guess I sort of hoped things would work out. Do you have plans? I can change the date. Or cancel. Whatever—”
He cut her off with another knee-wobbling kiss. “Don’t you dare cancel that room. I’ve got big plans for tomorrow night and you’re the star attraction.”
* * * *
As promised, Connor picked her up right after breakfast. It was pure torture saying goodbye to him last night, but he said he needed to get some schoolwork done before they left for the weekend. Her overnight bag packed light as he requested. The emerald satin gown didn’t take up too much space, but she did need spare clothes for tomorrow and her toiletries. She packed and repacked the few items struggling to subdue her quivering nerves.
Breaking the news to Emma turned out to be easier than she expected. Of course, her daughter gleamed with excitement but also blushed with embarrassment when she realized her mother would be having sex. “Use protection. Although, I wouldn’t mind having a little brother or sister.”
“Emma! I never said…” she stopped before she made herself look like an idiot. She was going away for the weekend, staying in a hotel with a man. Of course her daughter would assume—correctly—she was going to have sex. But it wasn’t a topic she cared to talk about. They had the sex talk numerous times, but it was always about Emma not having sex until she was thirty. Or married. Or at least not until she was with a man for a long time and truly loved him. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to make the same mistakes she made.
But Meg no longer lived in the dark ages. She knew her daughter wasn’t a virgin and had slept with some of her past boyfriends. Emma had confided in her mother after she’d had sex with her boyfriend on prom night.
“Nervous?” Connor stroked the back of Meg’s hand with his thumb as he backed out of her driveway.
Ha! Understatement of the year. “No,” she lied turning her flushed cheeks from his view and taking in the landscape. There was less snow as they neared the Atlantic and drove south on Route 1. Maine blended into New Hampshire until you hit the coast.
Connor’s hand only left Meg’s when he needed to turn, and then he quickly picked up her hand again, setting it on his thigh. They talked about the weather, her grandparents, and Emma. He told her more stories about Cole and Mason and promised to have a family gathering soon. The three-hour drive seemed like mere minutes.
The Colony Hotel looked just like the images on the computer. The clear, blue water and white capped waves made a beautiful backdrop, even on a cold March day like today. Large bay windows lined the first floor of the hotel, each revealing a picturesque landscape of the beach or flowering bushes beginning to push out their tiny buds of rhododendrons, lilacs, and azaleas. Walkways wound through the newly pregnant shrubbery; white benches placed strategically at each bend, offering guests a place to rest or couples a private bench to enjoy a romantic moment together.
Meg checked them into their room while Connor brought in the bags. They remained quiet in the elevator and in the hallway. Before she inserted the key card into the door, he put the bags down and turned her toward him tenderly touching her cheek.
“I love you. You realize that, don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know it,” she joked in an attempt to lighten the moment. He picked up the bags and she slid the key into the lock. She still hadn’t said those three magical words to him but planned on doing so tonight. Sex and love were simultaneous; tonight she would give and receive both.
The room was spacious and elegant. A plethora of fluffy white pillows and thick blankets covered the bed. Dark cherry furniture and black granite adorned the rest of the room making a dramatic, romantic, yet masculine, room. Meg opened the curtains to the balcony revealing the same million-dollar view of the Atlantic. “Wow. It’s gorgeous.”
“Mm, I couldn’t agree more,” Connor said as he came up behind her nuzzling her neck and wrapping his arms around her.
His touch warmed her yet created shivers down her arms and tingles in her belly. There was no doubt in her mind she loved him. For the first time in her life, she felt truly safe with a man. She covered his arms with hers and leaned into his powerful body, enjoying the soothing rhythm of the crashing waves in front of her and the strong beating heart behind her.
Minutes passed as they both stood in comfortable silence. Needing to feel more of him, Meg turned around and faced Connor. She reached up, pulli
ng him closer as she kissed him slowly and passionately, showing him how much he meant to her.
Kissing Connor was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. The traumatic experience that led to her pregnancy was as far from romantic as a hot dog is gourmet cuisine, and her experimental make out session with Tracy back in her college days was a far cry from a toe curling experience. He’d wanted to deny his sexuality and thought kissing his best friend would straighten him out, and she’d believed kissing the one man in her life whom she truly felt at ease with would cure her from her fear of intimacy, but they were both wrong. Tracy remained gay, and Meg continued to fear men.
But Connor’s kisses weakened her knees, melted her muscles, and heated up the depths of her soul.
She moaned.
He moaned.
He broke away. “Don’t rush me babe, or we’ll miss dinner and never leave the room.”
She licked her lips and raised her perfectly groomed eyebrow. “So?”
Connor tilted his head and looked at her questioningly and hopeful.
“Why don’t we order room service…later?” She tried to hide her schoolgirl smile, but it escaped from her swollen lips. Meg freed herself from his embrace and picked up her bag. “I’ll be right out,” she said as she slipped into the bathroom.
This wasn’t what Meg had envisioned. She’d planned to have a romantic candlelit dinner, a walk under the stars, and then maybe a soak in the tub. But she couldn’t wait any longer. Her entire adulthood, she had waited for the right man to come along. She’d told Tracy and Emma she didn’t need a man, and for a long time Meg actually believed it. She believed needing and relying on anyone was a sign of weakness.
Well, one thing was for sure: Connor was her weakness. Smiling at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and taking in her sexy, yet modest lingerie, she’d have to admit having Connor McKay as a weakness wasn’t too shabby. Taking one last breath to calm her tumultuous nerves, she reached for the handle and pulled open the bathroom door.
Connor turned and gasped. His beautiful baby blues stared at her for a long time before his gaze left hers to roam up and down her body. She was covered almost head to toe. Well, cleavage to toe with the exception of mile high legs breaking up the sea of green, but the intensity in his stare and the stiffness in his posture told her the silky investment was worth every penny.
“Wow.”
While she wanted to make the first move, her feet felt heavy and refused to budge. She remained on the other end of the room, nervously toying with her ring and biting her lip.
“Come here.” He sighed.
Slowly, she took a few steps. When she was within reach, he held out his hands and stroked his fingers lightly down her arms. “Damn, you’re beautiful,” he said keeping his eyes locked on hers. She stepped reluctantly closer and stared down at her feet.
“Look at me.”
She complied, blinking constantly, afraid he’d see through her insecurities. She wasn’t afraid of him, but of herself. Of taking the next step.
“Hey.” He wiped a tear that fell from the tip of her long lashes. “What’s wrong?”
“I want tonight to be perfect and I…I…I’m afraid of messing it up.”
He smiled tenderly at her and kissed away the other tear that dripped involuntarily. “You relax and let me take care of you. You trust me, right?”
She nodded. “I do but I…I don’t like being vulnerable.”
“Shh.” He pulled her body gently into his and gently stroked her back until she relaxed into him. He led her to the bed and pulled back the covers. “We don’t have to do anything but lay here,” he said as she slid beneath the white comforter. Climbing over her, he gazed into her eyes. “Baby.” Connor stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. “You say the word and we stop. I promise.”
Meg closed her eyes and nodded. “Okay.” But she didn’t want him to stop. The heat from his body felt too nice. His touch the perfect amount of tenderness and strength. And his lips…Meg sighed. Those beautiful lips knew just how to kiss her into oblivion until she melted into a pool of warm chocolate.
Connor rolled off her and turned on his side before reaching to pull Meg closer to him. The rough texture of his hands gliding up and down her exposed arms sent tingles to places she had only read about. Goosebumps peppered her flesh as he trailed kisses down her neck. This was it. Her body was primed and ready for him. She picked up her limp arms and explored the corded muscles of his shoulders and back. Connor’s body stiffened and then relaxed, pulling her in even closer.
Finally, he touched his lips to hers. “You’re perfect,” he murmured against her mouth.
Meg snorted. “Hardly.”
Connor pulled back and stared before laughing. “Did you just snort?”
Her cheeks flushed, she bit her lip and made a poor attempt to hide her grin. “I believe you’re hearing things.”
“I don’t think so.” Connor quickly pinned her beneath him and started tickling her sides. “You’re a snorter. I never would have believed it.”
“I. Am. Not,” Meg giggled and tried to wrestle free. They laughed and wrestled as he continued to tickle her sides.
Connor trapped her legs under his when she started to kick at him, then pulled her hands above her head with one of his and tickled her ribs even more.
Tears started to form in her eyes when she called out, “Stop. Connor, stop.”
“Shit.” Connor leaped out of bed. “Meg. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it.”
Shocked, Meg sat up in bed and took in the scene. Connor stood on the far end of the room, fully clothed and still aroused, pacing back and forth and avoiding looking at her. He leaned his forehead against the window and apologized again.
And then she figured it out. He thought she wanted him to stop. Well, she did. But stop tickling, not stop making love. So lost in the moment, enjoying the seriousness and the silliness of being with Connor, she didn’t once think about her past. Instead, she focused on the future. But now the image of her being helpless and afraid was sketched in Connor’s head. And she needed to erase it.
Slipping out of bed, she rushed toward Connor and hugged him from behind, resting her hands on his belly and her head on his back. “Connor. I’m okay.”
“No you’re not. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have trapped you like that.”
Meg slid around his body so she was between the window and Connor. “Look at me. Do I look scared?”
Connor stared at her, remorse etched in the fine lines on his face. She smiled up at him and touched his lips with her fingers. “I’m okay. But I’ll be even better if you come back to bed. And get naked.”
“Really?”
Nodding, Meg pushed at his chest until he started walking backward toward the bed. Giving him one more push so he fell back on the mattress, Meg climbed up on him and kissed him. It felt wonderful to initiate the kisses and the touches. “I love you, Connor.” Moaning, she kissed him deeper. “Make love to me, please.”
* * * *
All that karma crap his mother believed in must have been wearing off on him. Connor McKay, high school stud, former NFL running back, coach of the year and notorious ladies’ man did not believe in fate, destiny, or soul mates. So why did one night of amazing sex turn him into a lovesick puppy?
He’d had sex before. Lots of times with lots of women. She turned him all mushy inside. Why the hell didn’t it totally freak him out? He was falling for her. Hell, he already fell so hard his head ached. There was no doubt in his mind he loved Meg Fulton. She was all he wanted in a woman. Not that he ever thought about it before. After the divorce, he pretty much put a halt to anything serious and had no desire to attempt to have a relationship with a woman.
But Meg changed him. She challenged him, tested him, taught him, and definitely pleased him. She loved him despite his hang-ups. Okay, so maybe being an arrogant, cocky son-of-a-bitch isn’t a hang-up. But she loved him anyway. Not for his money or status, but fo
r him. It sounded girly, but he liked that she loved and liked him for who he was. And he loved her. Every sexy, tasty, delectable inch of her.
Stroking the long, dark curls cascading over his chest and arm, and feeling the warmth from Meg’s naked body on his relaxed him and totally turned him on. Usually after a session—because he didn’t believe in overnights with his dates—of wild sex with a woman he’d be anxious to pull up his pants and bolt. But tonight, he couldn’t imagine pulling himself away from the sleeping beauty at his side. Granted they were three hours away from home and pretty much stranded at the hotel for the night, which was all part of the plan. Twenty-four straight hours of uninterrupted time together.
So why the hell were they wasting it with sleep? Connor picked up the delicate yet strong hand curled on his chest and kissed each finger. He trailed his kisses up Meg’s arm and into the crook of her neck.
She moaned.
He moaned.
And he showed her once again just how much she meant to him.
Chapter 15
Spring in New England was always unpredictable. One day the sun would be out encouraging little buds to grow on trees and prompting spring bulbs to bloom—New Englanders would break out the Capri’s and open toed shoes—and the next day would bring an onset of snow showers, winter coats, and snow scrapers.
The temperature may have vacillated during March and April, but the budding emotions between Connor and Meg steadily rose. They found it hard to keep their relationship a secret, but they didn’t announce to the world they were sleeping together. Emma giggled and rolled her eyes when her mother blushed every time Connor came over, but she kept her word and didn’t broadcast the affair.
Annie had reassured Meg that as long as she and Connor kept their relationship out of the job, it wasn’t against school policy. Connor was tenured and since Meg and Jim both completed teacher observations and evaluations, Jim added Connor to his caseload. He had been hired as department head before she came to the district, so there was no favoritism there, but if another one of his department members wanted to apply for the position, she would not be allowed to be a part of the decision making. They still weren’t comfortable advertising their relationship, but knowing it wasn’t against school policy helped alleviate much of the angst Meg had been feeling.
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