by Devon Ashley
“Ohhhh…” Seriously, I extended that word for at least five seconds. “That’s how you keep finding me so easily.”
“Guilty. My dad has access to a few things that make it a little less difficult.”
“And mom?”
“Substitute grade-school teacher.”
“You never told me about your parents before.”
He shrugged. “You never asked.”
“Not fair. We lived in dreamland.” As if that justified why I never inquired too much about his family... I guess I wasn’t really paying attention to all the little things like that. “So do you really remember everything now?”
“I think so. I suppose there are bits I could still be forgetting, but I remember the most important part.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” His expressions went blank until I said a quiet, “Oh.” Me. Right.
Saved by the waiter again, this time with the Meat Lover’s pizza we ordered to share. I seriously needed to leave this waiter guy an extra tip for his impeccable timing. I guessed we were both pretty ravenous, ‘cause we ate a few pieces before picking up on the conversation again. Or at least I was ravenous after barely eating all day, my nerves shot since deciding to let him into my life a little. Evan was probably just being a typical guy with a neverending stomach.
“Not that I have a lot of free time or anyone to really hang out with, but what do you and your friends do around here?”
Snarkily, he replied, “What? You never left the palace walls to come mingle with the commoners when you lived at that fancy school of yours?”
“It was a really nice palace,” I sing-songed with a smile and a wink, right before I took another bite of my last slice of pizza.
“Forgive me, Princess.” I playfully glared at him for that. “Most of my friends have gone on somewhere to college, but a couple of us are still around. This time of year we typically go snowboarding, check out a movie or go play pool.”
“You mean at BoJoe’s? Do you really know one of the owners?”
“Yep.”
“And the owner of that fancy Italian restaurant with the private patio?”
He smiled wickedly, and I knew he was recalling the specifics of the date that night, which of course got pretty heated once the meal was over. “Yes,” he finally got out. “Jenna, I didn’t make anything up. That’s probably why everything felt so real to me. Why my feelings for you are as strong now as they were back then.”
He said he loved me in there. On more than one occasion.
“Was it real for you?”
I sighed heavily, trying to think of the right words to say, but Evan looked like he was taking my sigh as a no. “I had a different experience than you. I figured out pretty quickly that I was dreaming. I’m not saying I ever lied about anything, but I knew you were my dream lover, and for awhile…Okay, forgive me. But there’s no way I can give you my side of the story without bringing Robert into this conversation.”
With a heavy breath, he said, “Okay,” then tossed aside his cloth napkin and leaned back in his chair, preparing for the worst.
“I treated the two of you differently. I had Robert in the real world and you in the dream world. I always thought I was meant to… play with you.” I gave him a moment to control the goofy smile spreading across his face. “I let you get away with so much more than I ever would’ve in the real world. Those things that I let you do within two to three weeks, I made Robert wait like eight months to do.”
His grin was insatiable, but after a few seconds it completely disappeared, ‘cause I think it dawned on him exactly how long Robert and I had been sexually active.
“But when I saw you in that hospital bed and figured out that what we had wasn’t just a figment of my imagination…the emotional baggage that came with that…I didn’t know what to do. Nothing made sense anymore ‘cause I wanted to be with both of you.
“But then you woke up. And you didn’t remember me.” Drearily, I added, “And you had a girlfriend.”
“I didn’t!” he defended quickly. “I told you I broke up with Melissa the night of the accident.”
“Yeah, you did. Like four months later. By then I had moved on with Robert.” And I was happy, but I omitted that part, not wanting to rub it in.
I suddenly realized it was eerily quiet in the restaurant. I made a sweep of the room and noticed we were the last ones left. The tables had been cleared and the majority of the workers were out of sight.
“We should go,” Evan said, realizing the same. He pulled his wallet out and left a couple of bills while I put on my hat and scarf and slipped into my jacket. He grabbed his outerwear and shrugged it on as we returned to the chilly night. I was heading back in the direction of the bookstore when his hand reached out and pulled my arm in the opposite direction. I smiled behind the scarf that covered my nose and mouth when he led me to the same old maroon pickup truck I remembered from our dreams.
Guess he really was honest about the details, no matter how incidental. He let me in, then rushed around to his side and got the heater going. I lived within a few blocks of the bookstore, so it didn’t take long to guide him to my apartment building.
“How about Friday I take you to BoJoe’s?”
A chuckle erupted from my chest and my head couldn’t shake any harder. “No. Not a chance. You’re just gonna use that as an excuse to feel me up.”
He laughed quietly, licking his lips. “Alright. What would you like to do?”
“I’ll let you know. Pick me up at nine-fifteen?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I opened the door and playfully demanded, “Stop calling me ma’am.”
“As you wish, Princess.”
I made sure he saw my eyes roll before I shut the door and fought my way through the wind and up the stairs to my building. For the first time in a long time, a tingling, happy feeling warmed my insides, and for once, my smile didn’t feel so forced.
“OH MY GOD, SPILL!” Sophie burst the moment I answered the bookstore’s phone, cutting me off from repeating the rehearsed greeting I always said. Nine-oh-five. Since she got completely cranky earlier when I asked her to call me after closing ‘cause I was busy, I was surprised she gave me the extra five minutes to clear the store. “What the hell was this email about? You’re hanging out with Evan now? Jenna!”
Yeah, I was sure the wait killed her. And being Team Robert’s biggest fan, it was no wonder she was hollering.
“Good evening to you too, Sophie,” I mocked, putting her on speaker and hanging up the phone.
“Yeah, yeah. Ditto. Seriously, though. What. The. Fuck?”
“Don’t start, please. Robert’s not here and not even trying to talk to me. Evan is, on both counts. And I told him I wasn’t interested in dating right now and he’s okay with that.”
The puff of air bursting through her lips resonated over the speaker. “So, what? Are you done? With Robert?”
I lay the stack of money down, too distracted to keep count of its monetary value. Was I? I hadn’t really thought of it that way. At first, I thought I was just giving him a little more time to turn around. But now… I couldn’t deny that spending time with Evan had lifted my spirits and turned my frown upside down, but I also knew my heart still ached a little for Robert. Only difference now was that it warmed a little for Evan again, too.
“Part of me still hopes, but let’s be honest. The likelihood of us getting back together lessens every day. I’ve given him more than enough time, Soph. You know I have.”
After an excruciating long sigh on her part, she finally muttered, “Fuck.”
The silence that followed gave me enough time to count the stack of cash and zip it up in the bag.
“Sophie?” I asked. “You still there?”
“Yeah,” she whined. Jeesh. She seemed more upset over this than I was. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a pushy bitch. It’s just…I always thought the four of us would be together forever, ya’ know? We’re best friends,
they’re best friends. We’d all get married, live in the same neighborhood, raise our families together, the whole shebang. If you two break up, my whole little dream fantasy fizzles to shit. And I’m sorry, but Evan’s the reason it’s gone to shit. So when you wrote me about letting him back into your life…”
“No, I get it. I always kinda thought we’d all get married too. But, ya’ know, it’s my fault too. I didn’t break the kiss, and I’m thinking maybe you were right. About me not wanting to.”
“I figured as much,” she said drearily.
“Soph. Perk up. I’m sure you’ll love whoever I end up with. Whether it’s Evan, Robert, or some other guy I haven’t even met yet.”
“So long as he’s hot,” she replied. I smiled. There’s my girl. “So you gonna date this Evan guy now, or what?”
“Maybe. But I’m not dating anyone just yet. My heart’s being a little slow to give up Robert.”
“Yeah. Probably smart not to go too fast.”
“You’d probably just dive right in.”
Weak chuckles erupted over the line. “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t use me as a role model in this department. Not unless you’re looking to rebound this guy.”
“So are you no longer mad at me about this?”
“About you moving on? Nah. It’s your life, date who you want. I’m just sad to see him go, is all. He’s my friend too, ya’ know? I just don’t want any future get-togethers to be uncomfortable.”
My semi-happy expression began to melt when I realized I was still the maid of honor in a wedding Robert was still the best man. In just five months, we were gonna have to see each other again.
“Princess,” an endearing voice practically whispered behind me.
I chuckled and shook my head when I heard that, pushing the cart farther down the aisle as I returned books to their rightful place. “Thought you weren’t coming by until tonight?”
“I met my mother for lunch around the corner. Thought I’d stop by and see what we’re doing later.”
“Well, I figured since the weather was fair, we could do an outdoor activity.”
Evan’s face crinkled with fear. “You’re not going to ask me to make figure eights on the pond, are you?”
I laughed, and seriously considered saying yes just to screw with him for calling me Princess. “Well, I guess that depends on whether or not you have a sled.”
“I grew up in Vermont. Of course I have a sled.”
“Well, good. Lindsey mentioned this spot outside of town that kids our age use after hours to go sledding.”
“Yeah, I know what she’s talking about.” He looked me up and down questioningly. “Have you even ever been sledding before?”
“No.” I narrowed my eyes a little as my arms crossed. “Not everyone who grew up in Vermont had a sled.”
The pain on his face was immediate, and he closed his eyes for a moment, surely cursing himself internally. “God, Jenna. I am so sorry. Sometimes I forget about your parents.”
“Evan, I didn’t say that to be mean. It’s just the reason I’ve never gone sledding before.”
He wrapped me up for a quick hug. I quietly reveled within his grasp, inhaling his scent, which always had a calming effect on my mind. “Well, then we’re definitely going tonight. I’ll go home and dig out the toboggan and meet you back here when you get off.”
“Sounds good,” I tried to say cheerfully. He bid me goodbye and disappeared around the aisle. I really hadn’t meant that to be mean, it just kinda bugged me a little when people said those things, ‘cause deep down, I still had abandonment issues and it was the last thing I ever wanna think about.
“Um…seriously. Where’s the bunny run?”
Evan’s robust laugh echoed, drawing attention from nearby groups as we stood at the top of the hill. The very steep hill. Like trip-and-fall-and-snap-my-neck-easily hill.
“I’m guessing your friend forgot to mention the part about why only adults come up here?”
“In her defense, she probably thought I’d done this a million times before.” Air slowly filled behind my lips, finally puffing out once the maximum pressure was met. Luckily, that’s all that came out, ‘cause my stomach contents had been doing some serious flip-turns since we got up the hill.
“Well, lucky for you, I brought the sled big enough for two, so you won’t have to worry about steering. You can just sit there and scream with your eyes shut the whole way.”
I playfully shoved his shoulder. “I didn’t come here to cop out. I just wasn’t expecting this on my first try.”
I peered over the edge again, my heart pounding. I’d never been very courageous when it came to heights, my drowning incident being the boldest argument against them. I scolded myself internally when I caught myself reaching for that damn missing necklace again.
He pushed the sled slightly over the edge and stood on the back end to keep it from tipping over. “Come on. Sit here.”
“Can’t I ride up front?” I asked once I realized he wanted me more towards the back. I knew the front was gonna be scary, but something about having Evan’s arms wrapped around me made it seem the safest place to be.
“Not unless you want to steer,” he sang tauntingly.
Yeah, no. I carefully seated myself, fearful my weight would act like a seesaw and fling Evan off the back end and send me down the hill uncontrollably. Once my weight secured the sled, Evan crouched within the space in front and took hold of the rope, rocking us slightly. My heart leapt against my ribs and I was reminded of that horrible feeling of getting stuck at the top of a ferris wheel. You know the one. Where even the slightest movement could cause the seat to rock haphazardly and you’d fall to your death ‘cause there’s no way in hell that puny seat belt was gonna hold you in if you tipped over just a little too far? Yeah, that one.
“If you feel me lean, just go with it.”
I nodded my head ‘cause my murmured agreement barely made a sound, but duh…he couldn’t see that.
He turned his head as a smile crept across his face. “And you may want to hold on tight.” My hands lightly grasped the top of his shoulders as I extended my legs around his body for extra grip. “I said tight.”
“Yeah, I bet you’d love that.” It was probably suicidal in this instance, but I fought my inner urge to wrap my arms snuggly around his waist.
My hands shrugged with his shoulders when he replied, “All right.” He attempted several jerks before we tilted over the edge. Gravity was a bitch, and my stomach tried to make its way into my throat. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I felt his upper body vibrate with laughter as my hands abandoned his shoulders and wrapped a death grip around his neck, and my legs squeezed tighter than a python, a semi-scared scream bursting from my lungs. The wind was calm, but the air still chilly, and it stung my eyes before I thought to squeeze them shut.
The downhill run couldn’t have been more than fifteen seconds, but I swear to God it felt ten times longer. My scream didn’t stop until we came to a complete stop. I pried my eyes back open, wiping the icy moisture with the back of my cotton knit mittens. It wasn’t fear or the weather, but my lower half was frozen, my legs still compressing Evan in place.
He shook his head like he had a major twitch. “I think I’m deaf.”
“Oh, shut up.” Well, that got my body to move again.
“What?!” he yelled.
I shoved the back of his shoulder before awkwardly standing to my feet. Evan soon followed, turning the toboggan around to pull it up the hill once more.
“You’ve got a nice set of lungs, you know that?” I had the distinct feeling it wasn’t my lungs he was considering as his eyes swept over my chest. “Just promise me you’ll scream less this time. Or anywhere other than directly in my ear.”
“No promises.” I followed him up the hill, silently cursing the length of his wool pea coat and how it covered up a certain asset I was trying to admire. Oh, yeah. I remembered what lied beneath all that clothing. Every gorge
ous, muscular curve.
What? I may not be trying to jump into bed, but there’s nothing that says I can’t look and enjoy! And as if he’s not doing the same to me…
The next run I did better, at least in terms of suffocating his body with my grip. I still screamed a little, but I kindly turned my head like he asked. The third run I managed to open my eyes and the scream became more of a whoop! than an act of utter horror. The fourth I asked him to let me drive, which made his face cringe.
“Uh…” he dragged out, desperately trying to come up with a legitimate excuse. I crossed my arms, arched my eyebrows and waited him out. “Okay,” he said reluctantly. After a brief explanation over how to steer, we sat down on the toboggan, his arms barely gripping my waist from behind. That’s right, buddy. You’re my bitch now.
What was it with men and always needing to be the driver anytime another male was within eye shot? He sure as hell never complained when I used to drive in the bedroom.
“Do me a favor, and just try to stay on the path we’ve already made, okay?”
“Yeah,” I answered confidently, as if I had a flippin’ clue what I was doing.
He rocked with me to get us over the edge, pushing himself firmly against my back, and a very dirty thought entered my head. Too bad, too. Not that it wasn’t a good one, but I completely lost focus for that split second, which, unfortunately, happened to be the instant we tipped over the edge. I struggled to control the sled and found us pointing in a direction that wasn’t already laid out for me. I tried to lean and pull the sled right, but it was stubborn and didn’t want to go. Evan leaned to the right too, and tried to reach for the rope to help tug, but he was too far back to put any power behind his pull. We kept veering left, towards a field of debris that hadn’t been cleared for sled use.
“Roll off!” he called in my ear.
“What?” Next thing I knew, Evan wrapped hard around my waist. I let his tug pull me right and dropped the rope. We tossed a few times in the snow, but stopped pretty quickly considering the steepness of the hill. We must have been closer to the bottom than I realized.