by Kira Blakely
The Lindsey Holland.
The same Lindsey Holland who has a New York Bestselling book series telling women of all ages how to cope with just about every situation. The same Lindsey Holland who’s been on numerous talk shows speaking out against domestic abuse and shedding light on postpartum depression. The same Lindsey Holland who married a resort tycoon and opened hotels, spas, and recreational facilities designed especially for women.
The same Lindsey Holland who I looked up to for the past five years.
I stop in front of the blue front door with the silver knob and the wreath of colorful roses, my heart pounding like crazy.
What if she won’t talk to me? What if she doesn’t like me? What if she sees through me and is disappointed in me?
All of a sudden, I feel scared.
So what? Are you going to run away?
No. I’m not. I’ve come this far, and I’ve got way too much on the line.
What was that Lindsey wrote in one of her books? Put one foot in front of the other until your fears are behind you?
Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to conquer my fears and hope for the best.
Taking another deep breath, I press the doorbell. No answer. I can hear children’s voices, though, so I press again and I’m about to press a third time when I hear footsteps scurrying to the door. When it opens, a woman with salt and pepper curls who looks like she’s in her late fifties stands in the doorway, wearing glasses, a luminous rosary around her neck, a floral apron over a white shirt and loose black pants and a pair of light flip-flops that look just like the ones I used to wear as a child.
A Filipino maid?
“I’m so sorry I took so long.” She adjusts her glasses. “I was cooking and taking care of the kids, and you know, I’m not as young as I used to be.”
“It’s no problem at all.” I give her a warm smile. “I’m sorry I rushed you.”
“Well, what can I help you with?”
“I’m here to discuss a business proposition with Miss Holland, actually,” I inform her. “I sent her an email to let her know I was dropping by.”
“Really? She didn’t tell me she was expecting anyone.”
“I see.” I tuck a loose tendril of hair behind my ear. “Is she home?”
“Sorry, dear, but you just missed her. Why don’t you call her?”
“I’ve been doing that, actually, but she hasn’t been answering.”
“Well, she’s awfully busy.”
“I understand.” I can feel my heart sinking but I refuse to jump ship just yet. “Would you know what time she’ll be back?”
“I’m afraid not. It depends on a lot of things.”
“Oh.”
I reach inside my purse for my business card so I can hand it over but just then, a child, about four or five, comes to the door, poking her head between the woman and the door frame.
“Who’s that, Lola?” the child asks.
Grandmother? Don’t tell me this is Lindsey’s mother. I’ve never read anything about her being from the Philippines. Then again, come to think of it, I’ve never read anything about her mother at all.
“Oh, just someone looking for your mom,” the woman says, placing a hand on the child’s shoulder.
“She’s not here,” the girl tells me.
“So your Lola told me.” I smile at her. “I guess I’m out of luck today.”
“We really must go back in,” the woman says. “I still have to finish cooking my—”
“Sinigang,” I finish the sentence for her, having caught a whiff of the tamarind soup base. “It smells good.”
The woman lifts her glasses as she looks at me in surprise. “You’re a Filipino?”
I nod, offering her my hand. “I’m Abby Gomez. Nice to meet you.”
She shakes my hand. “Well, you’re someone I don’t usually see on this doorstep.”
“Do you speak Filipino?” the girl asks. “Lola taught me a little bit.”
“Why, of course,” I tell her, kneeling in front of her. “Magandang umaga, munting prinsesa.”
“Is that good morning?”
“It sure is. ‘Good morning, little princess.’”
The girl smiles sheepishly, her body swaying from side to side.
“You know what? I don’t know what time my daughter is coming back but I’ll be waiting here until she does,” the woman says. “You’re welcome to wait with me if you like, maybe help me out a little bit. I’d appreciate that. Plus, I’d love to have someone to eat the sinigang with. The kids don’t like it, I’m afraid.”
“It’s too sour,” the girl complains.
I chuckle. “That’s what makes it good, though.”
“So?” the woman asks. “Tuloy ka?”
I stand up, smiling at the sincere invitation, at the warmth in her eyes that reminds me of my grandmother’s.
Strange. I’ve been running away from my culture this whole time, yet now, it seems like it’s just saved me. For once, it’s done me something good.
Maybe Grant’s right. Maybe I should stop trying to deny or hide it.
I take her hand, pressing it to my forehead before giving a nod. “Salamat po.”
***
The hours pass. Soon, the sun begins to set.
I’ve been waiting long, but I don’t mind at all. Lindsey’s kids, Harper and Mia, are adorable, and her mother, Linda, is very kind. She has a ton of stories, usually about growing up in the Philippines, and it seems like she’s been wanting someone new to tell them to. I listen intently, fascinated, seemingly reliving my own childhood and seeing my own country through her words.
It’s like coming home.
Finally, when it’s nearly seven, I hear the garage doors open, and look out the window to see a white car going in. Anxiously, I wait in the living room for Lindsey to come in. I’ve already been waiting almost all day, looking forward to talking to her and yet, when I see her in person, looking stunning in her brown dress and black stilettos, I feel unprepared and surprised.
She, too, looks surprised to see me, her gaze landing on me when she’s done hugging the kids.
She also looks confused.
“Mama, who’s this?” she asks her mother.
“Oh, this is Abby,” Linda answers, touching my shoulder. “Abby, meet my daughter, Lindsey.”
“Hello.” I wave shyly.
She doesn’t answer, still looking confused.
Linda goes over to her. “Abby’s been a big help. I wouldn’t have managed without her, what with my knees and all. You really should consider hiring a sitter, you know. You can afford one.”
“We’ve already talked about this, Mama.”
“Abby kept me company, too. We talked about a lot of things. She’s a Filipino, too.”
Lindsey looks at me. “Really?”
I nod. “I was born in the Philippines.”
“And why are you here?” she asks curiously.
“I’ve sent you a couple of messages,” I tell her. “I’d like to discuss something with you. A business proposition.”
“Let me guess. You want to make a series of apps for me. Or rather, you want to make me into a series of apps.”
“Oh, Lindsey, be kind,” Linda admonishes, a finger up in the air. “Abby’s been nothing but nice, and she’s been waiting for you all day. The least you can do is hear everything she’s got to say and think about it.”
Lindsey sighs. “Fine.”
“I’ll be going now.” Linda squeezes her daughter’s shoulder. “I need to rest.”
Lindsey nods, holding her mother’s hand. “Thanks for coming over, Mama.”
Linda looks at me. “It was nice meeting you, Abby.”
I shake my head. “The pleasure was all mine. Take care.”
“Drive safely,” Lindsey bids, watching as her mother goes out the door.
As soon as Linda has left, Lindsey sits down on an armchair in the living room, taking her shoes off. I remain standing.<
br />
“Sit,” she tells me. “No need to stand on my account. Besides, it seems like you’ve already made yourself at home.”
I blink. Is this Lindsey Holland? She sounded much nicer on TV.
“I’m sorry if I stepped over my bounds or caused any inconvenience. I didn’t mean to—”
“Sorry,” Lindsey cuts me off. “I didn’t mean to snap. I shouldn’t. It’s just been a long day.”
“I understand,” I tell her, sitting down. “Even the best of us have bad days. If you would rather see me at another day, I’d—”
“It’s fine.” She waves her hand. “I’m grateful that you kept my mother company and helped her out. She’s not getting any younger.”
“She was a joy to be around.”
Lindsey grins. “I bet she told you a lot of stories from the old days.”
“She did, though something tells me she hasn’t run out of them yet.”
“Oh, she never will.” Lindsey stands up and heads to the kitchen. “Have you had dinner?”
“Yes. Your mother fed me.”
“Of course she did.” Lindsey goes around the kitchen counter. “So, who sent you? Grant?”
My eyebrows crease. How did she know?
“Yes, he sent me.”
She opens the fridge. “I thought he’d given up.”
“No. And I don’t think he should. I don’t think there should be anyone else’s name on those apps but yours.”
Lindsey leans on the counter, a spoon in one hand and a pint of ice cream in the other. “Is that what he told you to tell me?”
“No. It’s my own opinion.”
“Really?” She raises an eyebrow along with her spoon.
I nod.
She eats a spoonful. “And what did he promise you in exchange for coming here and telling me your opinion?”
I feel confused by the question. “Nothing.”
“No reward?” Another spoonful. “Then maybe you’re doing it because he slept with you?”
I frown. She may be a psychologist but that doesn’t give her the right to judge my personality or presume to know it.
I stand up. “Miss Holland, with all due respect, I think you have the wrong idea about me and Grant. True, Grant may have been a jerk. He might have played around with a lot of women.”
Lindsey snorts. “You can say that again.”
“But he’s a good man,” I continue. “And a man who’s had it rough, like many of us have. I know your books are all about helping women through tough times but men have them, too. Grant’s been through a lot, and now he’s just trying to make his way on his own. I want to help him. That’s why I’m here. Not because he bribed me or blackmailed me or God-knows-what other underhanded means you can think of. Not even as his personal assistant. I’m here because I think he deserves a chance.”
Lindsey takes the spoon out of her mouth. “Wow. You really care about him, don’t you?”
“I also think everyone deserves a chance to benefit from your expertise. With these apps that Grant is developing, you’ll be able to help so many more people, men and women alike.”
“Grant just wants to use me.” Lindsey sticks her spoon into the ice cream. “He’s using you, and now he wants to use me.”
“He’s not…”
“Just like he did before.”
I pause, taken by surprise. What is Lindsey talking about?
“Ah.” Lindsey eats another spoonful of the ice cream. “Grant didn’t tell you.”
I approach the counter. “Didn’t tell me what?”
“That he and I dated. That he broke my heart.”
I stop walking, a lump in my throat. Lindsey and Grant dated? Why didn’t he tell me?
“It still hurts, you know,” Lindsey goes on. “That’s why I told him he can stick his apps up his ass.”
So that’s why. I understand her. I really do. And I feel a little betrayed that Grant kept that tiny detail from me. But my mind hasn’t changed. I still want to convince Lindsey and make things work.
“I know how you feel,” I tell her, moving forward. “I’m sorry about what Grant did to you.”
“Don’t apologize for him.”
“But you can’t live in the past forever or let pain get in the way of happiness. Just think. If you refuse to do this, yes, you might get back at Grant, but you’ll also punish yourself. Don’t think of this as Grant using you. Think of it as him trying to make it up to you, him giving you a chance to do what you do best. He’ll get the profits, but you’ll also get money and help people. It’s a win-win situation.”
She licks the spoon. “Wow. It sounds like there’s a psychologist in the kitchen. And it’s not me.”
I chuckle. “What can I say? I learned from the best.” I smile. “And others will, too.”
Lindsey says nothing, tossing the spoon into the sink and putting the ice cream back in the fridge.
“And no, Grant isn’t using me. I—”
Lindsey puts a hand up. “You’re in love with Grant. I can see that, though how he did it to a woman like you, I don’t know. I don’t want to know.”
I feel confused again. Is she jealous?
Well, if she doesn’t want to know about me and Grant, that’s fine. That’s not what I came here to tell her.
“So, you’ll do it?” I ask hopefully.
“No.” She pours herself a glass of water.
My spirits sink. “Why not?”
She carries her glass out to the patio, and I follow her.
“Do you know why I don’t hire a sitter?” Lindsey asks as she sits on the bench.
I sit beside her. “No.”
Like Linda said, she could definitely afford one, and it seems like she needs one.
“Because I wrote in about half of my books that a mother should do as much for her children as she can.”
“Yes, I remember but…”
She turns to look at me. “How many of my books did you read?”
“Four, I think,” I tell her.
“And you’ve seen me on TV?”
“Yes.”
She drinks the water. “What did you think of me then, when you were watching me and reading what I wrote?”
“That you’re amazing.”
“How so?”
“Because you seem to have everything under control.”
“You see, that’s the thing.” She takes a last sip and sets her empty glass down beside her. “I don’t have everything under control.”
To my surprise, she buries her face in her hands, breaking into a sob.
“Lindsey?”
“My husband is cheating on me. He doesn’t love me anymore. I’m too busy with work to spend time with my kids. I feel like everything is just falling apart, and none of the advice I wrote in my books helps. And I just hate myself.” She sniffs. “Everything is just a fucking mess.”
“I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time right now.” I move closer to her, rubbing her back. “But isn’t that more reason for you to accept Grant’s proposition? You’ll earn money from the apps so you can get to spend more time with your kids, and you can stand on your own two feet and show your husband you don’t need him.”
“Don’t you see? I can’t help other people because I am a mess.”
“So what if you’re a mess? You’re a model for us women, not a god. We don’t expect you to be perfect. Heck, we don’t want you to be perfect. Do you think people want to take advice from a perfect person? If what you wrote doesn’t work for you, write a new book. Share your struggles with other people and tell us what we can do about them, because I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one going through what you’re going through right now.” I grab her shoulders. “I said I admired you because you seemed to have everything in control. Well, get everything in control or seem like it. Whatever happens, you’re Lindsey Holland. Don’t forget that.”
Lindsey wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, chuckling. “You know, you coul
d write a book of your own.”
“No.” I shake my head. “You write the books, and you continue helping people. Allow us to put your name on those apps and help us to sell them, to convince people to use them.”
“Fine. I guess I just can’t win against you.” Lindsey goes back into the kitchen, pulling out a paper towel to blow her nose. “Can anyone?”
I chuckle. “You won’t believe how many times I’ve lost.”
“Maybe that’s why you’re such a strong person now.” She holds my hand. “Grant is so lucky to have you. I hope he realizes that. And don’t you ever let him take you for granted.”
“Well, whatever happens, I can use your app and you can point me in the right direction.”
Lindsey grins.
I give her a hug, squeezing her tight. “Just hang in there. You’ll be all right.”
She squeezes me tighter, and my heart bursts with joy as I realize I had not only sealed the deal but found a good friend.
“Thank you.” She smiles as she lets go of me.
“No.” I shake my head. “Thank you.”
I have done what I came to do and more.
I’ve done it!
Chapter 10
Victors
Grant
Abby’s done it. She’s really done it.
When she first teased me over the phone about her and Lindsey becoming good friends, I had an inkling she had succeeded, but I didn’t give it much thought. Now, as I stare at the initial business documents spread out over my desk, each with Lindsey’s signature, I still can’t believe that my plan is finally going to be executed. The papers are proof, though.
Finally, everything is falling into place.
“How did you do it?” I lift my head to look at Abby, who looks extremely proud of herself.
As she should be.
“It’s a secret.” She grins, putting her arms around my neck.
I put my arms around her. “Is it now?”
She looks down, the corners of her mouth droop.
My eyebrows crease in concern as I lift her chin. “What is it?”
She looks into my eyes. “You’ve kept a secret from me, too, haven’t you?”
I tense. Did Lindsey tell Abby about our phone conversations, particularly the one where she challenged me to send her a woman who loved me? Has Abby discovered that I hired her and seduced her with the intention of sending her to Lindsey all along?