by Jenna Black
No, my reluctance was based on a core of prudishness and a terror of vulnerability. I didn’t think he’d understand, even if my brain were working well enough to communicate the point to him. I figured I was doing damn well to stay upright and conscious.
He looked at me for another long moment, then started to unbutton his shirt.
That roused me from my shocky numbness. “What are you doing?” I gasped.
“I’m giving you my shirt. You can put it on backward and protect your modesty.”
If I hadn’t been so scared I had to fight not to wet my pants, I might have enjoyed the view when he slipped the shirt off his shoulders. He had a really nice chest. There was a part of me just woman enough to notice in the most offhand manner.
He dangled his shirt from his index finger and held it out to me. I took it.
“I’ll give you one minute,” he said, stepping toward the door. He raked me with a head-to-toe look. “If your modesty can handle it, you might want to take off your pants so you don’t get blood on them.”
The bastard winked before he slipped out the door.
Still shaking, wondering if I would ever stop, I took off my blouse and bra, then slipped my arms into Adam’s shirt. It was still warm from his body. The warmth spread goose bumps over my skin. I hadn’t realized I was cold until that moment.
There was no way in hell I was taking my pants off, so I just stood there and waited, trying to keep myself from thinking, from anticipating, from dreading. My eyes locked on the box Adam had set on the floor, but I wasn’t remotely interested in taking a peek inside.
He came back in, glanced at my pants, and smiled, but he made no comment. I had to force myself not to back away from him as he came close, towering over me. He licked his lips, and I swallowed hard.
“Remember, love, Lugh can make it all go away. You’re not in danger.”
I so didn’t get this guy. Why was he trying to reassure me? You’d think scaring the shit out of me would be part of the appeal of this little scenario he had going on here. He wasn’t following the psychotic sadist script I’d mentally composed for him. Of course, he wasn’t human. I remembered Lugh telling me Adam wasn’t a “typical human sadist,” and I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse.
“Having second thoughts?” he asked, the sharp edge back in his voice.
I shook my head. “I just don’t understand you.”
He made a sound between a snort and a laugh. “You’re just figuring this out?”
He took me by the arm-a much more gentle grip this time than the last-and guided me toward the far wall. I’d assumed he’d take me to the bed, handcuff me like he had Val. I didn’t like the association, seeing as Val had been dead when he was done.
But no. Either he’d made a new addition to the room since I was last in here, or I hadn’t been very observant. A pair of black leather restraints hung from the wall, almost invisible against the matte black paint.
Adam hooked a low black footstool with his foot and moved it under the restraints. I must have looked puzzled, because, of course, he had to stop to explain.
“Dominic’s taller than me,” he said. “I need the extra height to secure him comfortably.”
“TMI,” I said, proud of myself for that small hint of bravado.
He laughed briefly. “Step up, please.”
I was shaking so hard I might have fallen in a heap if Adam’s hands hadn’t steadied me. He stood on the footstool with me and stretched my arm up toward the restraint. The pull forced me almost to tiptoe, but he managed to get the cuff secured around my wrist. I closed my eyes while he secured my other wrist. The leather cuffs were soft and supple, closing with Velcro.
When he’d finished, Adam closed his hands over mine, wrapping my fingers around the chains that attached the cuffs to the wall. I could feel his quickened breaths against my hair.
“Hold on tight,” he whispered in my ear.
There wasn’t much room on the footstool. To reach both my hands, he had to press his chest to my back. His skin felt scorching hot against mine. With him pressed so tight against me, I couldn’t help noticing the telltale bulge in his pants. I tried to jerk away from him, but there was nowhere to go.
The asshole laughed at me. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I have no desire to fuck you.” For reasons I didn’t want to examine, that statement stung. “I suppose I’ve become conditioned by playing with Dom. Ordinarily, this would just be a rush, not a turn-on.” He sighed, and his…enthusiasm waned. “When Dom could heal, it was both, but now I have to be gentle with him. With you, however, I can indulge myself.”
He stepped down, and I had to suppress a whimper of fear. I forced myself to think of Brian. He didn’t have a demon to heal what his captors did to him. And without Adam, I didn’t have the first idea how I could save him. I had to do this, had to endure it no matter how scared I was.
Adam’s hands skimmed my back. I flinched away from the touch, but he was just spreading the edges of the shirt wider, exposing more skin. He traced the outline of my tattoo with his finger, stopping at the waistband of my pants.
“Nice,” he said.
I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against the wall, praying for strength.
I heard his footsteps behind me, heard cardboard sliding against cardboard, then the crinkle of tissue paper. I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut and swallowed hard on a dry throat. When I heard him coming back, my head spun for a moment. Unfortunately, I didn’t pass out. I wondered what would happen if I did.
Would Lugh order Adam not to hurt me? I had no idea. All I knew was that Lugh didn’t seem to have any interest in taking me over at the moment, which might have meant he was happy to let Adam have his fun.
“This one’s a new toy,” Adam said, and I heard the slithery sound of leather brushing over the floor. He was getting breathless again. “An eight-footer. I just barely have enough room to use it in here, and then only if I’m very careful. I special-ordered it before God’s Wrath attacked Dom. I don’t dare use it on him now. These long ones are a bitch to control.”
I really, really didn’t want to hear this.
“I probably won’t make contact with the first couple of strokes,” he continued. “I want to get a feel for it first. If I hit you, it’s accidental. I’ll let you know when I’m going to do it on purpose.”
Wonderful. “Just do it and stop gloating,” I snapped, my nerves too raw to contain the protest.
“I’m not gloating, love. I’m just telling you what I’m going to do. But I take your point. I’ll get on with it.”
I nearly screamed when the whip cracked the first time. It was so loud, so terrifying. I felt a brush of air over the skin of my back, but as he’d said, he didn’t make contact. Sweat drenched my body, and I bit my lip until I tasted blood. I wished I could just hit fast-forward on this little part of my life.
The whip cracked again, and again wind whistled over my skin. Adam made a satisfied sound.
“Brace yourself, love,” he said. “This one’s for real.”
My hands tightened convulsively on the chains. The whip sang through the air and drew a path of fire across my shoulder blades. I dragged in a frantic breath and tried to press myself into the wall, as if I could somehow escape through it.
Another crack, and this time I felt like a knife had sliced through the skin of my lower back. Something tickled, and I realized it was the drip of blood. Before I had a chance to process that thought, the whip struck again.
This time, I did scream. I couldn’t help it.
I honestly don’t remember much after that. It’s one of those memories that my mind does its best to protect me from. I don’t know how many times that whip cut through my flesh, though I know it was a lot. I screamed myself hoarse in no time flat, then was reduced to scratchy whimpers.
My knees gave out long before it was over, and I hung by my wrists, my shoulders shrieking in protest.
When it got so bad I was
tempted to pray for death, Adam finally stopped. I willed myself to pass out, but I didn’t.
Moments later, he was on the footstool with me again, one arm wrapped around my waist, holding me up as he freed my wrists. When I would have collapsed, he scooped me up and carried me to the black bed. He set me on my feet beside it, supporting me by my shoulders.
“Lie on your stomach, love,” he said softly, and he guided me down.
The sheets were silk, I noticed irrelevantly as I buried my face in the pillowcase and tried to contain the agony. The world swam around me, a dizzy, nauseating mess.
Adam’s voice came to me from what seemed like a great distance. “Don’t fight it.” His fingers stroked over my hair. “Let yourself go. Let Lugh fix things. It’ll be over soon.”
His voice was strangely soothing. I felt myself go fuzzy around the edges. With unspeakable relief, I let myself sink into the darkness.
CHAPTER 21
I awoke lying facedown on an unfamiliar bed. My back felt like it was on fire. I whimpered, and a gentle hand stroked over my hair.
“I’m healing it as fast as I can,” Lugh said, and even in the short time it took for those words to leave his mouth, the pain lessened by a degree.
My face was buried in a wonderfully fluffy down pillow, and I didn’t feel inclined to move or speak. Little by little, the pain faded. His hand slid down from my head to brush over my bare shoulders.
It was only then that I realized I was naked.
I raised my head, turning it just enough to see that a crimson silk sheet covered me from the hips down. But I could feel that silk against my bare butt, and nothing covered the top of me.
Lugh’s hand continued down the center of my back. I’d have jerked away, except it’s hard to do that when you’re lying on your belly and you don’t want to flash someone.
“Is it necessary for me to be naked?” I asked, trying for cool aplomb.
I expected either a flirtatious or a smart-ass comment in reply. Instead, I suddenly found myself wearing comfy cotton knit pajamas. The top was a barely-there camisole with spaghetti straps, but it covered everything important.
I cautiously pushed myself up and turned over. My back felt fine. Lugh fluffed a couple of pillows and laid them against the headboard, a quilted affair covered in the same red silk as the sheets. I took the hint and sat with my back resting against the pillows, hugging my knees to my chest.
The pain was gone, but my whole body felt weak and shaky. I had a feeling that evil black room would feature prominently in my nightmares for years to come.
“As long as you are hosting me,” Lugh said, reading my thoughts, “ you will have no nightmares.”
I appreciated that more than I could say.
“That was a very brave thing you did,” he continued.
I snorted. I’d practically peed my pants in terror, and I’d screamed my lungs out. Not exactly my ideal of courage.
“You can be afraid and still be brave.”
I nodded my agreement, though I wasn’t sure I was convinced. It wasn’t like I’d had much of a choice, not unless I was willing to let Brian die a slow death without even trying to save him. I met Lugh’s eyes.
“Was it brave, or just plain stupid? I mean, will Adam really help me? Because if I went through all that for nothing, someone’s gonna die.”
He didn’t quite smile, but I could see his amusement nonetheless. “I think perhaps you understand demons a little better than either you or I realized. I don’t know if there’s anything else you could have offered that would have reached Adam. But you did reach him, and he’ll keep his word.”
Thank God! But I had to disagree with Lugh’s assessment. I might have figured out how to reach Adam this once, but I couldn’t say I came close to understanding him.
“Now,” Lugh continued, “I believe you and I need to talk about this rescue attempt you’d like to make.”
“Oh?” I sounded suspicious even to my own ears.
His eyes crinkled around the corners, but it was only a brief flash of humor. “It’s going to be dangerous.”
“No shit.” He gave me a quelling look, and I held up my hands in surrender.
“I could stop you from trying. I could tell Adam to keep you under lock and key.”
My stomach knotted and I sat bolt upright. “No! You wouldn’t-”
“I said that I could, not that I would. But if I’m going to allow you to endanger us both, then I must set a condition.”
Why did I think I wasn’t going to like this?
“You mustn’t be captured,” he continued, his eyes boring into mine. “You know what will happen if you are.”
I shuddered. Yeah, I knew. And if you’d asked me a couple weeks ago if I’d be willing to risk being burned at the stake in a rescue attempt, I probably would have said no. I’d have been ashamed of my cowardice, would have hated myself for it, but I wouldn’t have believed I had it in me. There was some small sense of satisfaction in finding out I wasn’t as much of a chicken-shit as I’d once thought.
“Adam is to accompany you on any rescue mission, and he is to stay at your side at all times. He will not allow you to be captured.”
I let out my breath in a loud whoosh. “In other words, if it looks like they’re going to capture me, he’ll kill me?”
“Yes.” He reached out and took my hand, prying my fingers loose from their tight fist. His grip felt firm, strong. More reassuring than it should. “It’s a case of the lesser of two evils. And I am, perhaps, being an irresponsible king in even granting you the option. If I return to the Demon Realm without having defeated my enemies here, there is nothing to prevent them summoning me into another host, and I’m sure they wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.”
His thumb stroked over my knuckles as he held my hand. Maybe I shouldn’t have let him, but I needed that lifeline. He peered at my face, his brows drawn slightly together in an expression that was almost, but not quite, a frown. I read concern and regret in his expression.
“Why would you take the risk?” I asked, meeting his gaze, trying to understand him. “Why would the king of the demons risk himself for a human pawn? Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”
He smiled at that, but quickly sobered. “It’s Dougal who holds human life so cheaply. I suppose I see myself as a defender of the pawns, so to speak. If I don’t defend them, who will?” He laughed. The sound held no humor. “Or perhaps I’m just a misguided, self-important fool who deludes himself into thinking he can save the world.”
He ran his free hand through that scrumptious black hair. This was the first time he’d seemed even vaguely human to me. It was good to know even demons suffered from self-doubt every now and again.
Before I knew what I was doing, I’d reached out to him, finally allowed myself the luxury of touching his face. Maybe he was using his understanding of my innermost thoughts and feelings to manipulate me. If so, at the moment I didn’t care. I just wanted to give him comfort.
His skin was ever so smooth under my fingers, like he’d never had to shave. I almost giggled at the thought, for, of course, he never had. He closed his eyes at my touch, the corners of his mouth tipping up in a hint of a smile.
I finally gave in to the urge to touch his hair, running my fingers through the length of it. His hair was as soft and silky as it looked. I moved closer to him on the bed, and his arm slipped around my shoulders. Arousal tingled over my body, though the touch wasn’t particularly sexual. I snuggled close to his body and laid my head against his shoulder.
We sat like that for a long time, taking silent comfort from one another. I realized that for the first time in my life, I actually liked a demon. And a demon who’d possessed me against my will, at that! Was this how Dominic had felt about Saul? If so, perhaps I understood a little better how Dom could have been so heartbroken over losing him. I still wanted Lugh gone, wanted my life back the way it was before. But I realized with a little squeeze in my heart that I would
miss him.
Lugh turned and planted a soft kiss on the top of my head, then pulled away with every semblance of reluctance.
“I should let you sleep,” he murmured. “You’re always tired in the morning when you’ve dreamed with me.”
I shook my head. “I can’t afford to sleep until morning. Brian needs me.”
“He’ll still need you in the morning. And you need your strength.”
“But-”
He put a finger to my lips. “Adam will be working on the problem while you sleep. Rushing in headlong serves no purpose.”
Tears prickled my eyes. “But they’re going to hurt him again.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But they need him alive. If you mount an ill-planned rescue attempt, that won’t be the case anymore. So sleep. Gather your strength. Be ready.”
I took a deep, steadying breath. “Do I have any choice in the matter?”
He shrugged and his gaze slid away from mine. That was answer enough.
Accepting that I wouldn’t budge him, I did my best to swallow my impatience. “I guess I’d better hurry up and sleep then.”
The last thing I saw before sleep took me was a fond little smile on Lugh’s lips.
The next time I awakened, I found myself in the guest room in Adam’s house. Not the black room, thank you, Jesus!
I sat up tentatively, half-expecting the movement to hurt like hell, but Lugh had done a thorough job. I was even able to do a full-body stretch without a twinge. I sighed with relief.
My arms were still stuck through the sleeves of Adam’s shirt, though it had slid down so low I might as well have been topless. I pulled it off, then shuddered when I saw the dried blood that spotted the edges.
I threw the shirt across the room and slid out of bed. I didn’t want to see what my pants looked like, but my skin felt the crusty texture of the waistband and I couldn’t stand to wear them another moment. With shaking hands, I shoved them down my legs and stepped out, closing my eyes tightly as I tossed them, and my panties, in the same general direction I’d tossed the shirt.