“I’m sorry, Stella. I wish I could have met her.” And I do. Stella told me stories about what it was like growing up with her grandmother after her parents died. The way she stepped up to take care of Stella and her brother.
“She would have liked you.” She tells me, smiling, as she removes containers from the bag.
“You think so?” Sitting next to her on the floor I stretch my legs underneath the table.
“Yup. Abuelita had a thing for handsome guys, especially successful ones. I think she always hoped some successful man would show up on his white horse and save me from ending up like her.”
“Like Pretty Woman?”
Stella snorts out a laugh. “Yeah, except without the prostitution.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that. “Probably.”
“Jason, who the hell is going to eat all of this? Are you expecting company?”
Looking around the table at all the food I shrug, “I was hungry when I called. Plus, it’s season, I burn a lot of calories.” I say defensively.
“Not this many.” She sasses.
Chopsticks in hand, she starts digging into her container, moaning around a mouth full of the spicy smelling noodles.
“This is so good. I haven’t had Wu’s since the last time with you.” Stella says, dipping back in for another bite.
“It’s the best. I think I must have eaten there three times a week when I was in school here.”
“I don’t blame you. You probably miss it when you’re back in Chicago.”
“I do, but there are some amazing places to get Chinese. Especially in China Town.”
“Yum. A whole little town with Chinese food. I would love that.”
The look on her face is pure bliss. It makes me happy that I can make her this content with something so simple.
“So, what do you wanna be when you grow up, Stell?”
“A teacher and a coach.”
I snort out a laugh. “You can’t be a teacher.”
“Ummm..why the hell not?” She demands.
“Because you’re too damn hot. I think there’s a law or something about it.”
“Oh my god. Shut up.” Her laugh is infectious; I can’t help myself from joining in.
“It’s true! Those poor boys wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“Well, that’s the plan. I already have a couple prospects. All of them know about the baby and are super understanding and accommodating.”
My fork stops mid bite as I think about what she just said. I hate that she is going to be alone but how the hell was I going to convince her she should come to Chicago. Did I even want that?
“Where at? Here?” I ask, avoiding the things I really want to say.
“Couple places, Florida, here in Mass, and even Chicago.” Her chopsticks make a clacking sound as she works them into her mouth like a pro.
“They’re all for high schools which excites me because that’s serious softball. I don’t want that part of my life to be over yet. Probably not ever really.” She admits.
“I can understand that. I don’t know what I would do without hockey.” I love that we have something like that we can connect on. Sports are a way of life not everyone can understand.
“You ever think about what you’ll do when hockey is over?” She asks, genuinely curious.
“I don’t like to think about that day.” I admit, laughing self-consciously. I don’t have too many years left in hockey, it’s tough on your body. A decade is what I’m hoping for.
Full, I push my containers away and stretch out, my arm resting on the seat cushion that Stella leans against. I can feel the heat she’s throwing and move my arm closer so that it’s touching her now. If she notices, she doesn’t say anything, just continues to eat happily giving me the chance to watch her. The way her glasses slide down and she scrunches her nose up to try to lift them back into place. Her smooth, soft skin the color of caramel. Full lips that bring me back to the vision of her on her knees in the penalty box, that mouth on my cock. Biting back a groan, I drop my napkin in my lap to try to hid the growing hard on.
“What does your brother think about the baby?” I ask, knowing that it will matter to her. He’s all she has left, her grandmother passed away last year. She told me that weekend we spent together that her parents died when she was little, a car accident. Her and her brother, Carlo went to live with her grandmother in a tiny apartment in Lynn and that’s where they stayed until he went off to the Marine’s and she got a scholarship to FU.
“He’s disappointed in me, but excited to be an uncle.” I can tell by her tone that it bothers her.
“I’m sorry.”
I’m not sorry that she’s pregnant. Actually, actually the more I think about it, the more excited I am. I am sorry that her brother is disappointed in her. Makes me want to throw the gloves with his ass though. He has to know how upset that would make her.
“Don’t be. Carlo will get over it.” Stella leans back releasing a long breath. “Oh my god that was good. This baby can’t get enough of the spicy food.”
She pats her belly and smiles at me. Without thinking I reach out and place a hand over her rounded belly. She’s so slender it looks like she swallowed a basketball. She tenses for a moment, then covers my hand with her own and drags it over to the side a bit.
“He was just rolling over here, maybe you’ll get to feel it. It’s wild.” Her eyes shine brightly with a happiness that literally makes her glow.
“He? Is the baby a boy?” I ask excitedly.
“Oh, I don’t know. I just get tired of calling it it all the time.”
I nod in understanding. The baby already seems like so much more than “it” to me, so I get it. “Will you find out the sex?”
“I want to. The student insurance is mediocre at best and they only cover one ultrasound so I’ve been saving it just in case something happens.”
My teeth clack together in irritation. She’s carrying my baby. Mine. Multi-million dollar a year contract holding NHL player Jason Dagger and she’s going to student aid for health care. If I lose my cool with her over this she’s going to give me hell.
Stella is proud and independent and not impressed by my money or the fact that I’m a pro athlete. This one fucking instance I wish she were, though.
“Will you do me a favor and see if they can schedule you for an ultrasound while I’m here. I’ll pay for another one if you end up needing it.” I say, treading carefully.
I can see her thinking about it before nodding, “I can try. I think they’re gone during the holidays. I swear I’m the only one on campus or taking any classes during this break.”
Glad that it went easier than I thought, I relax again. I need to figure out a way for her to allow me to pay for this shit. The thought that her and my kid aren’t getting the best care makes me want to break shit. Funny how easily I’ve accepted all of this. I’ll probably freak the fuck out later, but right now I just want to take some of the pressure and responsibility from her.
And stop wishing I could lay her down and strip her naked. I’m not sure I’ll ever quit that one though. Gathering the food containers to bring in the kitchen, stopping her when she gets up to help,
“No way, woman. You’ve just got off work. Sit and chill. I’ll get this.”
I need the minute to think about how I’m going to convince her to take money from me. I probably have a better chance of fucking her and as tempting as that sounds, I know it won’t help me right now. Well, it’ll help me but it won’t help our situation.
“Okay, I’ve fed you so that you’re not hungry and we can talk.” I tease.
Stella groans, “I’m gonna hate this aren’t I?”
“We gotta talk about things, Stella. I’m only here for a few days, my schedule is gonna get nuts as soon as I get back.”
“I know. I know.” She slips from the floor and settles on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her. “Well, you know that I don’t want your money. Of course
I won’t stop you from seeing the baby, but that’s stuff we’ll have to work out after I have her.”
“I know you don’t want my money but whether you like it or not, you’re going to get it. I mean, I have to pay child support.”
She’s about to argue with me when I go and sit beside her.
“No, Stell. I know that you’re proud and independent and used to doing things on your own, but so am I. What kind of man would I be to not take care of my kid? You asking me to be a deadbeat dad? I’m just as proud as you are. I’m going to provide for my child. I’ll call my lawyer tomorrow and have paperwork drawn up and see how to go about coming up with a fair amount for you.”
“Your lawyer? You have a lawyer? I can’t even wrap my mind around that.” She shakes her head and I can see that I’m losing her.
“I have to have one for my contracts and the team’s legal obligations and stuff. It’s not like I just have a lawyer to follow me around for shits and giggles.”
“I don’t want money from you. People are gonna talk so much shit. I’m not a gold digger, Jason.”
“I know that. If you were a gold digger, I wouldn’t be finding about this baby when you’re just a couple months from giving birth, fighting with you to take my damn money.”
Never in my fucking life did I think I would be saying shit like that to a woman. I take a deep breath and go for the kill.
“I also want the baby to have my last name.” Her eyes fly to mine, wide in surprise, then filled with tears. Oh shit.
“You do?” Voice cracking, she watches me like she’s expecting me to take it back.
“Absolutely. No kid of mine is gonna walk this Earth without my name.” I tell her adamantly.
“Who are you?” She asks bewildered.
“Tell you the truth, I have no fucking clue. I’m scaring myself a little.” We both burst into laughing, the heavy moment lightening with the sound in an instant.
“Can we be done with all this adulting now? I’m exhausted.” She admits, flopping back into the soft cushions looking sleepy.
“You want to crash here? You can sleep with me in my big king size bed, I’ll even rub your…back” I finish with a waggle of my eyebrows.
“Not gonna happen, Dagger.”
“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
7
Stella
After waiting a damn eternity for the elevator, I say screw it and head for the stairs. The exercise will be good for me and the baby. At least that’s what I tell myself before starting the trek up the eleventy million stairs. Last time I took them I wasn’t nearly as pregnant and going down is a whole lot easier than going up.
Finally reaching the top, I head toward Jason’s place pretending like I’m not winded and then when I’m unable to lie about that, convincing myself that the only reason I am winded is because of the stairs and nothing to do with seeing him again. We weren’t supposed to see each other ’til tomorrow, but I left my book here last night and I need it for my paper. I knock on the door and will my breathing and heart rate to get their shit together. I’m just about to knock again when the door flies open and a beautiful, and surprised woman stands there gaping at me.
Shit. Didn’t take him long did it? Ignoring the crushing feeling I have no right to feel, I stand a little straighter. Determined to not allow her to see how much this just hurt me. With a fake smile, I push on.
“Sorry to bother you, is Jason here?”
The woman’s mouth opens and closes three times, I know because I counted, before she says
“Yes. Yeah. He’s in the shower though.” She pauses, looking me over from head to toe before going on, “Do you want to come in?”
Her tone is dripping with uncertainty and curiosity. Clearly, she has a close relationship with him if she’s answering his door and he’s in the shower. Plus, it’s not even noon yet. Did she spend the night? Come just after I left? That hurts even more after the talk we had.
“I just need to grab a book I left here last night.”
“Last night? You were here last night?” The woman asks confused and even more curious than before.
Before I can answer, I hear Jason from somewhere inside the apartment “Joey, I love you and all but—Stella?”
I can see him over her shoulder. Standing in the middle of his living room, a towel knotted low on his hips, water dropping onto his shoulders and chest from his mop of wet hair. The sun from the floor to ceiling windows casting him in a god-like glow. Why does he have to be so damn hot?
Jason moves forward so that he’s standing directly behind the woman he called Joey now, looking at me with concern.
“Is everything okay? The baby?”
I nod, not able to talk past the lump in my throat when Joey barks out a laugh.
“Ooooohhh you’re in so much trouble. I’m telling Ma.” She sing songs gleefully.
“Shut up, brat. Let Stella in. Cruz, this is my sister Joey. Joey this is Stella Cruz my—” he stalls, not sure what to say when Joey pipes in
“Your baby mama?”
She’s practically bouncing on her toes she’s so excited. I’m not sure if it’s at the prospect of being an aunt or getting Jason in trouble. I’m too embarrassed by my reaction to her being there to look too closely, but I’m guessing it’s more to do with ratting him out.
Jason shoves her gently out of the way> “Come in, Stell. Ignore my little sister. She’s a pain in the ass,” he says good-naturedly.
“Hey! I am not! Okay, I kind of am.” Joey laughs. “Nice to meet you, Stella,” she says, still eyeballing me and my wicked pregnant state.
“Hi.” I wave awkwardly. “I’m sorry to just show up, I just need my book. I must have left it last night and I have to try to start on this paper before I go to work.”
“Come in. And you can show up here whenever, Stella.”
I give him a look that screams ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ that he catches and has the decency to look remorseful.
“Yeah, not my best moment, okay?”
“No. No, it wasn’t.” I’m not sure I’ll let him live that one down anytime soon. Or ever.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be nosey— “
“Yes, you do.” Jason cuts in.
She sticks her tongue out at him reminding me so much of myself and Carlo.
“Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t mean to be nosey but how old are you and are you pregnant with my brother’s baby?” Right to the point she is.
Opening my mouth to answer Jason interjects, “She’s old enough and you’ll hear all about it after mom does. Speaking of which, I was just going to call you. I told my ma we would come for lunch.”
“You what? Your mom? Why?” I stammer.
“Well, because I told her I had someone she had to meet and since I’m only here for a couple days…” I’m aware of Joey watching this whole thing go down like a spectator at a tennis match.
“I can’t, I have to work.”
“Call in.”
“Can’t do that. I won’t be able to work for much longer.”
“I will pay you what you would have made.” He says a little exasperated.
“Don’t do that. Don’t throw your money at me like that. Remember this isn’t Pretty Woman. I don’t need a pimp or a sugar daddy or whatever.” I tell him, pissed that he would even suggest that.
“I was going for Knight in shining armor, but pimp works.” Jason says, grinning from ear to ear. “Take the night off. Please. I promise you, you will not miss the money. My lawyer—”
I raise my hand to stop him not willing to discuss this in front of his sister.
“Okay, okay.” He lifts his palms in surrender. “But seriously.”
He gives me the puppy dog eyes and I can’t deny him. How could anyone say no to those baby blues? God, I hope the baby doesn’t have those eyes. He or she will be spoiled rotten if they do.
“Fine. I’ll go.”
“Oh, this is gonna be good.” Joey
murmurs.
An hour later I’m walking into Jason’s parent’s house in Cambridge, palms sweating, legs a little unsteady as he takes my jacket from my shoulders.
He leans into me and whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry, Stella. They’re going to love you and be excited about this baby. Just as excited as I am.”
He presses a kiss to my temple that I want to lean into. Wonder about. Ask him what it means. If he’s really excited about the baby and why in the hell he believes me. But there’s not time. A woman in her mid-fifties comes into the hallway wearing a Chicago hockey shirt and a pair of black leggings. Here we go.
“There’s my favorite hockey player.” She says excitedly pulling him into a tight hug. “How are you, baby? Still sore from the game?”
“Nah, I’m okay, ma.”
“Good. Bastard.” She says ferociously. Just like a mama bear. I saw the game; I may have called the guy who hit him a bastard myself.
“Ma, this is Stella Cruz. Stella, Carly Dagger.” When she turns to me her eyes widen, almost to the point I think they might fall right out of her damn head before she catches herself.
Holding my hand out to hers I force my lips to stretch into a wobbly smile. “Mrs. Dagger.”
She takes my hand, eyes on my belly then to Jason and back to me. “Please, call me Carly. My mother in law was Mrs. Dagger and she was not a nice woman.” I laugh nervously.
Jason interrupts the awkward moment, “Whose all here?”
“Just you guys and your dad. Your sisters won’t be here until tomorrow night.”
“Perfect, I don’t want to overwhelm, Stella.”
He places a reassuring hand on the small of my back. I’ve never been so grateful for such a simple touch. I feel on the verge of a panic attack. I’ve never been a part of a large family and for the last little while it’s just been me since Carlo has been deployed and Abuelita passed away. I’m ready to jump out of my skin until his warm palm through my thin sweater anchors me. Calms me. What in the world is happening to me?
Team Player Page 5