Jonathan swallowed, wishing he didn’t care. “Then tell me something of no use, so you’ll have something to tell them to make the torture stop.”
Lire’s smile reappeared, but this time, it was fake and brittle. “You know nothing of demons if you think giving them what they want will make them stop. Bending to a demon’s will only makes them want to keep going, hoping they’ll reshape you into something twisted.”
“You’re half demon. Are you the same?”
At Jonathan’s question, Lire’s expression transformed, turning sultry. “I’m half Lilin-demon. It’s definitely my place to twist you and make you want more.”
He had no idea what that meant, but he could Google it later and not look like an idiot now. “Is that my one piece of useless info?”
Another sexy rumble of laughter filled the room. “No. I’m fairly certain your large friend has already figured that much out for himself.”
“All my friends are big. You’ll have to be more specific.”
Lire’s eyes flashed with humor. “Two are impervious to me because they belong to you. The ridiculous one with amethyst eyes has no heart to tempt. Who does that leave?” Dougal. “By the way, kudos on snagging two vampires. Your nights must be…” Lire paused and visibly inhaled before picking up where he left off. “… amazing.”
They were, but not for the reason Lire thought. “Is there anything in particular you’d like to eat?”
“Low salt, please,” Lire said with a laugh.
His words reminded Jonathan of his grandmother using salt to ward off demons when Jonathan had been a kid. His parents had called her crazy. Now, Jonathan wasn’t so sure. “Will salt harm you?”
Lire smirked. “I’m only half demon. In small doses, I can take it. It burns going down, but then again, so do all the best things,” he said with a wink.
Jonathan stood and headed for the door. Lire hadn’t given him anything, but he wouldn’t let the dude starve. He almost made it to the door before Lire called out, stopping him.
“The girls you’ve been tracking, hoping to find the pack; they’re not dead. At least, not all of them.”
Jonathan glanced over his shoulder, hoping Lire wouldn’t see the journalist inside Jonathan, jumping for joy and planning its next move. “Thank you. I’ll find you something to wear.”
“Don’t thank me, Jonathan,” Lire said, continuously using Jonathan’s name, as if trying to get in his head. “Sometimes being alive means less than nothing at all.”
That was true. This time, Jonathan didn’t wait for Lire to say more. He headed for the kitchen, running through the contents of their fridge in his mind. After deciding on a low sodium pasta dish and getting it started, Jonathan dipped inside the laundry room. He found a T-shirt and jeans he thought would fit Lire before returning to the kitchen. Jonathan almost made it without getting caught.
Dougal stepped into the kitchen. “Weren’t you eating the last time I saw you?”
His gaze skirted away from Dougal’s. “It’s not for me.”
“Cin and Faolan aren’t here, and Niall doesn’t like pasta.”
“Yep,” Jonathan said, trying hard not to look at Dougal.
Dougal moved closer. “Is all of this for our reluctant guest?” Dougal asked, nodding toward the clothes and food.
Jonathan’s shoulders fell. “Yes.”
Dougal relieved him of the plate and clothes. “I’ll take it out there to him,” the vamp said, shocking Jonathan before he remembered Lire’s words about the big one. Curiosity ate at Jonathan, but he wouldn’t ask.
Instead, he chose to give in gracefully. As long as Lire got what was promised to him, Jonathan didn’t care who delivered. “That’s fine.”
“Good,” Dougal said, sounding hard. “Because you need to take your ass out back and kick Niall out of his funk. He hasn’t left his shop since you fed him this morning.”
Aggravation made Jonathan’s skin itch. Niall couldn’t hide for the rest of their lives. Before he could call it back, Jonathan growled. “I’ll take care of it.”
With a nod, as if he took Jonathan at his word, Dougal headed for the garage. Jonathan headed out back. He hadn’t been inside Niall’s workspace before. For a full five minutes, Jonathan stood outside, wondering if he should knock. In the end, he barged in, refusing to give Niall time to turn him away. His steps slowed as he crossed the threshold. It was quiet inside. Knives and swords of every size and variety hung on the walls. Jonathan gave them a quick glance before searching for Niall. He found his mate, kicked back and asleep in a recliner.
A smile pulled at the corners of Jonathan’s mouth. Niall looked ten times less intense while sleeping. After a quick search, Jonathan found a blanket. He moved slowly, hoping not to wake the man. When Niall didn’t budge, Jonathan released the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding before claiming a hard-back chair across from him. The moment his ass hit the seat, the peace Jonathan experienced from being in his mate’s presence slipped away. He wasn’t wanted here. The only reason he was allowed to stay was because Niall was asleep. Cin only wanted to be with Jonathan when they were having sex. Niall never wanted to be around him. Jonathan had never felt more unwanted than he had since they’d turned him. He should go back inside and chat with the demon. At least the spawn hadn’t made Jonathan feel as if his presence was unwelcome. Fuck. He’d forgotten to Google Lilin-demons.
“Lilin-demons are sex demons, and I always want to be with you.”
Jonathan’s gaze shot to Niall’s. The vamp’s golden irises always punched Jonathan in the chest. He couldn’t explain it. No one bothered explaining it to him. Jonathan had never felt more lost. “I didn’t mean to bother you.” Sadness climbed up Jonathan’s throat, choking him. “Dougal said you hadn’t been inside all day. I just wanted to check on you. You can go back to sleep.” Jonathan stood, intent on heading back inside. There was nothing for him here. There was nothing for him anywhere.
Niall held the cover up, opening his arms to Jonathan in a silent invitation to join him. “Your thoughts are louder than everyone else’s when you’re not guarding them.”
For a moment, Jonathan chewed on his bottom lip, unsure of what to do. In the end, he couldn’t resist Niall. This was the man who’d turned him. Jonathan would always feel lost without him. Niall moved over, making room for Jonathan. As Jonathan settled into his arms, Niall covered them with the blanket. The material still held the warmth of Niall’s skin. Jonathan bit back a sigh. Later, he would look back on this moment with guilt. Right now, the itching inside his brain needed relief only Niall could give.
On one hip, with one leg thrown over Niall’s, and his face buried in the crook of Niall’s neck, Jonathan’s breath fanned across Niall’s throat. Niall should be uncomfortable. He wasn’t. If he looked too closely at things, he should be guilt ridden. He wasn’t. There was no peace any longer. Not for him. Not for anyone. He was used to the inner fury. Jonathan wasn’t. Niall couldn’t let it go on. The man thought Niall didn’t want him around. He thought Cin only wanted him for sex. Niall had never been more furious at everyone, including himself. There had to be some middle ground. He couldn’t find it. So, instead, he held Jonathan’s hand against his chest and listened to his steady breathing. Niall let the sound of Jonathan’s heart beat fill his ears and drown out all other noise. He could feel Jonathan’s exhaustion. It matched his.
“Tell me about your day,” Jonathan said against his skin.
Niall’s eyes fell closed at the sensation of the man’s lips brushing his throat. He relaxed deeper into the chair. “I’m making a new sword.”
“What’s it look like?”
“Like a sword.” Jonathan chuckled at Niall’s answer. The sound vibrated against Niall’s chest, making him smile. He held his mate tighter. “What’s wrong?” Niall asked. “I mean, besides everything.”
He felt Jonathan’s lips shape into a smile against his neck. “I think that pretty much covers it. Is it okay if I just be sti
ll for a minute and hold you? Life isn’t as loud when I’m with you.”
Niall pressed his lips to Jonathan’s head and breathed in the man’s scent. “Of course.”
“Everyone’s helpless anger is suffocating me,” Jonathan said, sounding half awake.
“Impotency pisses people off.” It had been so long since Niall found anything funny, even he was surprised by the heavy humor in his tone.
“I doubt that’s a problem you suffer.”
Niall toyed with Jonathan’s fingers. For the first time, outside a dream, they felt ensconced and separate from the clan. They were intimate and Jonathan was his. “No. If anything, I might go blind from touching myself too much.”
Jonathan’s low laughter caressed Niall’s skin. As if his dick needed to prove Niall wasn’t a liar, it stirred at the sensation. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m serious. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the kinkiest person I’ve ever met. The inside of your head is a dirty place. You’ve turned the inside of my mind into a twenty-four-seven porn station. I’ve lived a long time, and I’ve never met anyone as willing to do or try anything as you are.”
He could smell Jonathan’s blush. His lust hit an all-time high the instant Jonathan’s blood rushed to the surface of his skin. “Sorry. I can try keeping you blocked if I’m too much.”
“Hell, no. I don’t want that. You have no idea how boring it is to live forever. Everything becomes tedious as hell. Since meeting you, I haven’t been bored for a second, and yes, that includes the six years there was no chance you’d be mine.” Niall realized what he’d said. Jonathan didn’t comment. Niall breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you for not calling me on saying that.”
He felt more than saw Jonathan shrug. “I know what you meant.”
Did he? Niall wasn’t so sure, but it didn’t matter. “Go to sleep, sweet one. I can feel your exhaustion.”
“Meet me there,” Jonathan said, sounding more asleep than awake.
“I always do.” And it wouldn’t stop. That knowledge scared the hell out of Niall. As long as they both lived, Niall wouldn’t stop, and he wasn’t sure how far he’d go before the end. He probed at Jonathan’s brain. The tension in Niall’s shoulders didn’t relent until the man in his arms finally fell asleep. Once he felt Jonathan slip into his dream stage, Niall spent a moment eyeing him. Jonathan always looked sweet and innocent. Niall’s lips pulled at the corners. He loved holding this man.
Jonathan shifted his sleep. His hand came to rest on Niall’s erection. Niall sucked in a hiss. The heat radiating from Jonathan’s palm had Niall resisting the urge to grind himself against Jonathan’s hand. To keep from doing something idiotic, he closed his eyes and slipped inside Jonathan’s dream. The instant the images in Jonathan’s head became clear, Niall marveled over the clarity of it all. Jonathan was easily one of the strongest Seers he’d ever encountered. He didn’t understand why his mate didn’t seem to recognize how much he could do.
They were standing in the kitchen. Jonathan leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. It couldn’t have been more apparent he’d been waiting for Niall. At his arrival, Jonathan met his gaze. Niall stopped breathing. Jonathan had never looked at him the way he did now. Niall took a step in the man’s direction. Jonathan straightened away from the counter. They met halfway.
“It’s only a dream,” Niall said, needing Jonathan.
“I’ll take it,” Jonathan said, capturing Niall’s mouth.
Niall was older, taller, twice Jonathan’s size and ten times his strength. None of those things mattered because Jonathan made him weak. Their kiss was desperate because they were. Niall grabbed two handfuls of Jonathan’s ass and lifted him from his feet. Jonathan wrapped his legs around Niall’s waist as if they’d done this a thousand times. He stumbled through the kitchen and into the living room without giving up Jonathan’s mouth. Once he made it to the couch, he toppled onto the piece of furniture with Jonathan trapped beneath him. Every place their bodies touched, burned. Niall wanted to bury himself inside Jonathan. This wasn’t about sex. He could have Jonathan in this dream, and maybe it would satisfy some part of him. Niall needed more than Jonathan’s body. He needed to feel the man’s heart.
With a tug, Niall yanked Jonathan’s shirt upward, baring the man’s chest. He tore his mouth away from the delicious way Jonathan sucked his bottom lip and pressed his forehead to where Jonathan’s heart beat steady. Niall’s eyes fell closed as he inhaled Jonathan’s scent and let the rhythm soothe him. The sound filled his ears, sounding like a drum. His lips brushed Jonathan’s sternum, worshipping the man’s life-giving force. He’d never been more grateful for another person’s existence the way he was this man’s. Sex was a good thing. Not being alone in the world was amazing. That was what Jonathan gave him. Niall could ignore what the man did to his body. He couldn’t hide from what Jonathan’s existence did to his mind.
Jonathan’s fingers ran through his hair, as if soothing Niall. “I wish you would tell me what you need. Don’t hide.”
A loud clicking noise snatched Niall from the dream of being in Jonathan’s arms. His eyes flew open and his gaze shot to the door. Before his uninvited guest could make an appearance, Niall dissipated and reappeared standing next to his workbench, leaving Jonathan alone in the chair. He wiped the sweat from his brow on his shoulder as he picked up a knife he’d been sharpening earlier and pretended to inspect it. His body ached and his mind was a mess. Now wasn’t the time for anyone to talk to him, but there was no avoiding it.
Cin stepped into the room. His gaze swept over Jonathan’s sleeping form before coming to rest on Niall. Niall didn’t doubt for a second he could see it all—Niall’s desire. The way he was slowly dying. There wasn’t an ounce of condemnation in Cin’s eyes. Niall didn’t know if that piece of information made things better or worse. Without a word, Cin crossed the room and stood over Jonathan. “I don’t understand why he sleeps so much,” Cin said while claiming the same chair Niall had found Jonathan in earlier.
Niall kept his back to Cin, hoping the man wouldn’t see the lingering lust clinging to Niall’s skin. “For the same reason as a newborn bairn. He can’t help it. His body is still adjusting to the massive energy his new form burns as it constantly regenerates cells. Creating perfection is hard work,” Niall said, wanting to bite off his tongue the second he went too far.
“He was already perfect,” Cin said, keeping his voice low and his gaze locked on Jonathan. “That’s one of the many reasons I never wanted to turn him. I knew I couldn’t improve on what he was born with.”
“Or maybe you never wanted to turn him because you didn’t want the responsibility,” Niall said before he could stop himself.
Cin’s gaze snapped to his. “If you have something to say to me, say it.”
Niall shrugged. “It’s curious to me how you stay gone more now than ever before.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, we have a demon pack growing larger and bolder than ever before,” Cin said, refusing to take the bait and give Niall the fight he was itching for.
Without thought, Niall slammed down his knife and narrowed his eyes at Cin. “I haven’t forgotten, but Jonathan needs you here and not just for sex.”
That did it. Cin came to his feet. His fury-filled gaze held Niall’s. “You’re the one who disappeared for two months without a word.”
“No doubt, while I was gone, you pulled the same shit you are now. Has Jonathan learned anything about our world or have you been too busy pulling away and hoping you don’t get hurt? Hell, he didn’t even know I was his prince until today.”
The clicking of a door closing brought Niall’s head around. The chair was empty. Jonathan was gone. Tilting his chin toward the ceiling, Niall prayed for Goddess Celeste to take mercy on him. Surely no other vampire had failed their mate the way Niall was failing his.
“Niall, I can’t—”
“Please, Cin,” Niall said, cutting him off. “
You begged me to save him and I did. Just leave me be.” He no longer knew who he was the angriest with, but Niall very much feared it was himself.
Jonathan was nowhere to be found. The house was empty and Jonathan’s mind was shut. No matter how he begged and pleaded, Jonathan wouldn’t let him inside his head. He hadn’t gone in search of Jonathan and Niall looking for a fight. Cin had hoped, when he found them together, maybe they could talk about things. Every time he tried, things looked a little more hopeless. Niall would never admit to needing them, while Jonathan felt abandoned by them both.
Cin found Faolan in the kitchen. He grabbed the man before he could get away. “Have you seen Jonathan?”
“Aye,” Faolan said with a nod. “He walked through here a minute ago, holding his laptop, and saying he had shit to do.”
Cin ground his back teeth to keep from screaming. “Where did he go?”
Faolan shrugged. “No clue. He said he didn’t want to be bothered with anyone else today. I took him at his word and let him be.” Faolan slapped Cin across the back as if he wasn’t a single a breath away from losing his life. “You’re always gone these days. If you want your space, then you should let the boy have his peace. It’s nae as if you’ve been caring what he gets up to any other time.”
Before Cin had a chance to rip out Faolan’s heart, the vamp disappeared, leaving Cin alone with his fury. It seemed everyone was of the same mind. He was the ass who was never around. No one saw the truth. Jonathan and Niall needed time together without his interference. If not, they might never see the truth.
5
This time, Jonathan didn’t hesitate entering Lire’s space inside the garage. He found Lire still seated in the center of the room, in the god-awful chair, but looking a little less ragged than he had earlier in the day. With his feet crossed at the ankles and his arms crossed over his chest, Lire looked bored off his ass. Jonathan held up his laptop and motioned toward the empty chair in the room.
Devour (Hellish Book 2) Page 5