"Yes you! You know I'd have done anything to impress you."
He covers my hand with his free one. Our eyes meet and everything is just the way it was before he left. There's no more distance between us. There's no pain, just us. The way it should have stayed.
"I know," he says.
"Why did you leave?" I blurt it out.
He stiffens then removes his hand from mine setting it on the table. His finger starts tracing that familiar pattern and his gaze breaks from mine.
"Do you remember what happened?"
I nod slowly. "Of course I do?"
"All of it?" he asks sharply.
"Of course I do."
I'd almost been raped. Ben stopped it. I remember it well, he carried me home that night. We'd been in my bedroom when dad came in and the two of them fought again.
Ben stares, something unknown behind his eyes.
"Why did you and my dad fight so much?" I ask to break the silence.
Ben shrugs. "I don't know."
I can see the lie. Ben's an excellent liar so what is he holding back from me?
"You two never got along. Soon as you became a teenager you and he were butting heads constantly."
"Your dad's an ass," Ben says.
"How can you say that! He treated you like his own son."
"Yes, he did," he says.
"And this is how you repay him?"
"Where is he now Vic? Why were you alone at Mother's house working? Why is he not taking care of that?"
I fall silent. Ben knows of my dad's struggle with alcoholism. He knows how much Meryl meant to him.
"Exactly. Why does it all fall on you? Isn't that the husband's job?" Ben's voice is sharp as he leaps to the attack.
"You have no idea how hard it's been on him. You're off gallivanting around living the play boy life. Different women every week. Thrill seeking all over the world. You barely made it back for her funeral!"
"I was there," he says through gritted teeth.
"You showed up hours before! What about the days leading up to it? What about the months before when she was sick? She only wanted to see you!"
I watch his jaw tense and untense, his hands clench and unclench. What is he holding back from me?
"You think I didn't want to be there for my mother?" he asks at last.
"If you wanted to be there then why weren't you? You have all the money in the world, you just had to fly your private jet in and be there!"
"Things aren't that simple," he says.
"It is! She needed you. She asked for you. You weren't there."
I want to hurt him. I want to make him feel the way I felt when he walked out that door. I want him bleeding from his heart like my own still bleeds for what we were. I thought I could ignore it, push it aside and let something new take its place. How wrong I was.
Ben rises from the table both hands resting before him. He stares down at his plate not even glancing at me. His right index finger traces that pattern on the table cloth.
"We have an early morning, you should retire for the night."
He turns and walks out of the room without another word. I watch him go and realize I have nothing else to say either.
Chapter seven
Stupid. So stupid. Why didn't I just leave it alone? We were getting along fine. It's too early to bring up the past. I lay in bed berating myself. I have to apologize. Maybe I can fix this.
I can't stop replaying it in my mind. I shouldn't have asked. I just want him close to me again. Okay, only way to fix this is to do it. What's the worst that can happen? He doesn't want to talk to me ever again? Pretty much where we're at now.
I climb out of bed throwing my robe around me and head for his bedroom. I knock on his door and I feel like a little girl again when I used to slide into bed with him in the dark. He'd always welcome me, sliding over and sharing his covers. Pressed up against me with his strong arms around me I was safe. Warm. Loved.
I don't hear him stirring so I knock again, louder this time. He's never turned me away. One time I slipped in and he had a girl with him. She woke up when I started climbing in his bed and yelled. I smile as the memory comes back to me.
It was dark as I made my way into his bed. I'd had another nightmare and Ben always took care of me. I touched his shoulder and he scooted aside without a word so I could slide in between the sheets.
Then a girl screamed. I jumped back out of bed tears running down my face.
"Shut up," Ben barked at the girl behind him.
"What the hell is this?" she asks.
She's sitting up behind her and I can see she's naked. Her breasts are much bigger than mine illuminated by the moonlight streaming in his window.
"She's my sister, she needs me."
The girl was wide eyed, her mouth moved but no words came out. She pulled the sheet up across herself.
"You some kind of freak?" she asked. "You sleep with your sister?"
Ben turned away from me and I couldn't see his face but his voice was hard and cold. "Get the fuck out of my house now."
"You can't kick me out! We just ..."
Ben didn't say anything as he climbed out of bed and stood staring at her.
The girl looked back and forth between the two of us. Ben put an arm around my shoulder pulling me close to him. My head spun from the smell of him, the softness of his skin against my face, the strength of his arm around my shoulders.
"You are a freak," the girls said climbing off the bed. "Both of you, damn American freaks!"
She pulled her clothes together and left. I looked at Ben.
"Don't worry about her Vic. I'll always protect you."
I knock again louder, it's really early so maybe he's sleeping deeply. When I still don't get an answer, memories of my naiveté make me bold and I open the door. His room is immaculate but that's Ben, perfectionist to the end. His bed is made though. Or hasn't been slept in. Where is he? I look around for a note or indication of where he could have gone but there's nothing in his room.
I start searching the house but there's no sign of him anywhere. I go to the kitchen thinking he might be up getting breakfast but only Esmeralda is there baking fresh bread.
"Have you seen Ben?" I ask.
"Oh yes Miss, he left very early. Soon as I arrived he was heading out. Said he was spending the day on his yacht."
My stomach drops out from under me. We were supposed to spend this time together and he left for his yacht? He must really hate me to put his inheritance at risk. I sit down and let Esmeralda fix my breakfast.
The rest of the morning passes with nothing to really do. I try to read a book but can't hold my attention on it. By early afternoon I give up and settle in to watch some television.
I can't quit going over the argument in my mind. What could I have done differently? Why did my dad and Ben argue so much? He'd brought up the night I was almost raped. What am I missing?
My memory of that night is fragmented. After Ben rescued me my parents took me to the hospital and there were so many things happening. They kept me there for three days giving me drugs and running tests. A psychiatrist came to see me for counseling. I only recall it in pieces, moments in time that don't connect. I remember Ben and my dad screaming at each other. The worst fight they'd ever had.
Did my dad hit Ben? That can't be right. Dad never hit anyone. He isn't a violent man. I shake my head to clear it but one image stays with me. My dad over Ben with his fist raised, Ben on the ground with his nose bleeding. Is that real?
I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear a crash from the kitchen. I jump up and run to see if Esmeralda is okay. She stands there with both hands over her mouth, tears running down her face, and staring in open horror at the television.
"Ezz, what is it?" I ask.
She points a shaking hand. The screen shows a scene that must be taken from a helicopter circling over a flaming wreck. The sound is too low for me to hear what's happening but a scrolling bar along the bottom says al
l I need to know.
'Prince' Benjamin Brandt, Playboy Billionaire, lost at sea
My legs shake as I walk over and turn the sound up. The camera circles around Ben's yacht which is in flames and sinking fast. I don't see how anyone could survive that. Fire engulfs the entire structure, there seems to be something stuck to the side of the ship.
"Benjamin Brandt, heir to the Brandt Group, is believed lost at sea. A speedboat crashed into his yacht just over one hour ago causing a massive explosion. Missing along with Mr. Brandt are ..."
The screen fills with faces of other young people believed to have been out on the yacht with Ben. I can't catch my breath. I try to inhale but it won't come. I haven't had two asthma attacks this close together in years but this is another one. I fumble at the kitchen drawer where I keep an emergency inhaler as my vision closes in. I pull it out and take a long puff then work my way to a seat. I stare at the screen which has a picture of Ben posted along the side so we can watch rescuers attempting to put out the fire.
No one can survive that.
Chapter eight
I peek out the curtain in the living room. They're still here, parked all along the edge of our property. Hundreds if not thousands of them. Reporters, paparazzi, fan girls and who knows what else. The edge of our yard has become a memorial to Ben. Flowers, signs, and candles are piled up all dedicated in loving memory to a man none of them really knew.
None of them knew the gentle person under his playboy persona. None of them knew Ben, they saw Prince Ben, the phenomenon of the moment. Cold burning rage wells up inside me as I look at them. News vans with their antennae, paparazzi with their cameras, girls crying over a man they never knew. What right do they have to him!
I haven't left the house in three days. The police come and go, bringing reports of the search efforts but each visit brings less hope of recovery. They haven't even found his body. They've identified those they've found and Ben isn't among them. He's still missing in shark infested waters. No one believes he could have survived it. At least three people are unaccounted for but a storm is moving in and they won't keep searching past its arrival.
I contacted my Father but he still hasn't returned the call. He's in a rehab clinic and they may be blocking him from this news. So I'm on my own. Alone, trapped in this house. Yesterday I went out the back door hoping to get some fresh air and a reporter jumped the fence. His camera flashed as he rushed me shouting his questions. It was terrifying. The worst part is I have no idea if he was really a reporter or just some crazy trying to get close to the tragedy. Hoping to grab some memorabilia to sell on the internet. The news has been reporting on the insane prices that Prince Ben memorabilia is bringing currently and I'm sure most of it's fake. Some people are getting very rich off this tragedy.
I walk back into his bedroom. Standing there staring at his perfectly made bed the empty ache in my stomach throbs. I miss him so much. I walk over and climb in his bed pulling his covers over me. The scent of him fills my head. I close my eyes and imagine I can feel his strong arms wrapped around me, holding me tight, pulling me back against him.
Memories come back unbidden as I recall laying like this with him. The night he'd kicked that girl out he'd held me tight still naked. I could feel him pressing hard against me. I'd wanted to do more, to know what he felt like, but it was too wrong. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. We'd never crossed that line.
I can't believe he's gone. I don't feel like he's dead. Even after he left, I could feel him out there in the world. I can't figure out why the world hasn't stopped spinning if he's not in it. If he's gone, what's the point?
The doorbell rings. I should answer it but it's probably just more reporters. I don't want to deal with them. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I feel like a total wreck.
I hear Esmeralda answer it and she's talking to someone but I can't bring myself to climb out of his bed. Here I'm surrounded by him. Here I'm safe. He can't leave me. He can't leave again.
"Miss Victoria!" Esmeralda yells her voice cracking at the high pitch.
Reluctantly I climb out of the bed just as she yells again. My feet feel heavy, my legs wooden, it's hard to make my way out of his room. She's yelling again. Good god woman I'm coming.
I make my way down the hallway and the same two detectives who've been reporting to me daily stand in the foyer. Something's changed though, I see it in their demeanor. There's a glimmer of hope instead of the expected apathy.
"Miss Brandt," the lead detective says.
"Yes?" I ask not daring to hope.
"We've located your brother," he says his face breaking into a broad smile.
"He's dehydrated but okay. He's alive Miss Brandt!"
I feel like I'm moving through water. I look from one detective to the other, afraid to believe I heard them right. I can't take more heartbreak.
"He's alive?"
"Yes Ma'am. Your brother is a hero, he saved two other passengers. They were floating in a small raft miles away from the wreck."
"But he's alive?" I say dumbly.
"Yes Ma'am."
"When can I see him? Take me to him ..."
Everything jumps back to normal time. I want to see him. The last three days I believed him dead. I have to see him, to touch him.
"He'll be home in a couple of hours. The medics are giving him some fluids and the investigators are asking some questions."
I close my eyes inhaling deeply. "Thank God," I exhale.
Chapter nine
Ben's arrival is heralded by sirens. The crowd outside cheers as the police vehicles break through their line ahead of the limo he rides in. They circle around until the limo is parked directly in front of the house.
Two paramedics climb out of the front of the limo and position themselves to either side as the driver opens Ben's door. One of them reaches in and takes his hand as he steps out of the confining darkness.
Ben rises up and turns to look at the crowd of reporters and admirers. I see as he turns that he's badly sunburned and looks a bit wan but he raises one hand and waves at them. They cheer and camera flashes explode in the evening dusk. A news reporter runs up the drive towards Ben but the police move and intercept him. Ben waves once more then turns and is assisted into the house by the paramedics.
They bring equipment with them taking him straight to his bedroom where they set him up in his bed. Esmeralda and I hang back letting them work. I watch as they get my brother settled and he pushes them away, telling them exactly what he will and will not do. Ben's in charge, even now.
At last we're alone. I stand in his doorway staring at him resting. They said he would need to sleep as much as possible but that he's mostly just dehydrated. His chest rises and falls evenly as I watch. Quietly as possible I walk over to the side of his bed and sit on the edge. His hand is on top of the comforter and I rest my own on it gently. He grabs my hand as his eyes fly open.
"Vic?" he asks.
"I'm here Ben," I say.
His grip is strong enough to almost hurt. He looks at me a moment then relaxes.
"Thank god you're okay," I say. "I was so scared ..."
He looks away from me and then back with an intensity to his eyes. "You were scared?" he ask.
"Of course I was! How could you even ask?"
He looks away again moving his hand from mine. He stares at the wall a long moment before he speaks again. "I thought you hated me."
My throat clenches as my heart leaps into it and I can't respond. He thought I hated him? I thought he hated me. Tears well up but I try to hold them back.
"I ..."
I can't speak. I can't get the words past the lump in my throat. He turns to look at me and his face is no longer a mask. I see pain and something more, so much more. I see longing.
"I love you Vic," he says reaching out to cup my face in his strong hand.
I can't hold the tears back, they burst like a broken dam. He pulls me down to him and I rest my head on his chisel
ed chest letting it all flow out. At last my throat relaxes enough I can try to speak.
"I love you Ben," I say.
He inhales deeply letting it out in a long exhale. "No Vic, you don't understand." He pushes me off his chest forcing me back to where he can look me in the eyes. "I LOVE you. Only you. Not just as a sister."
He looks so vulnerable, so open, the chasm between us is gone. This is my Ben, this is the man I love, the one I've missed all these years. This is the man I've saved myself for. My tears continue to fall down my face dripping into his chest and I can't speak again. I nod, my hands resting on his chest.
Then he leans up into me, his lips coming closer and closer. I can feel his warm breath touch across my lips and my own latent desire explodes through me. Our lips meet and the world rocks, tilting on its axis back to right.
He pulls back from the kiss slowly, our lips clinging to each other unwilling to let their union end. I gasp as my breath comes ragged. I want to pull him into me until we are one.
"We can't," he says falling back onto the bed.
"Ben, we can ..."
He shakes his head cutting me off. "We can't. Your dad," he says.
"What is it with the two of you! I don't care what he thinks. I love you. I've always loved you. No other man has ever made me feel like you make me feel!"
Ben frowns and looks away. "You don't remember?" he asks.
I shake my head, desire turning to frustration and anger. "Remember what? You two had a fight. Then you left. YOU left!"
I hit his chest with my closed fist and it stings me probably more than it hurts him. He just lays there and nods.
"But do you remember why?"
"No. I remember Troy trying to force me. Then you saved me, took me home. I remember you holding me and protecting me then you and Dad were fighting. Did he hit you? I seem to remember you on the ground. They took me to the hospital and then when I got home you left. YOU LEFT!"
I'm shaking. I can't stop it or control it. Adrenaline pumps through me and I'm so angry, so hurt. I just want things to be like they were.
"You don't know," he says softly and I can hear the surprise in his voice. I look at him and he's wide eyed. "How can you not remember?"
Stebrother's Inheritance Page 3