by Karen Kelley
Surprised, she met his gaze. Nervous? About tonight? Jessica almost laughed at the thought. Maybe she’d been a little on edge when she’d first arrived to show the house, but after seeing George, the thought of being scared of him was ludicrous. She could take him any day. And Trudy? Piece of cake.
Didn’t Conor realize he was the one making her so jittery? Even though he hadn’t mentioned the fact they’d made love, she’d been unable to think of anything else. But if he believed the cookout was the cause of her skittish behavior, that was fine with her. A lot better than telling him the real reason. Especially after the fiasco they’d made of their one night together. Who would’ve thought someone would actually show up at the Merediths after the ruckus Trudy and George had caused earlier in the evening?
Guilt filled her. It had been as much her fault as his. The scales might even tip a little more in her direction. And here she was supposed to be helping her father. Yeah, right into an early retirement.
Stop beating yourself up.
It wouldn’t happen again, and that was the main thing. They were both professionals.
She drew in a deep breath. “No, I’ll go. We might dis cover something in their house that will give us a clue about the identity of the leader.”
“Not we, Jessica. Me. Understand?”
He was right… again. She was only there to make an appearance. His case, not hers.
“Okay, I’ll play the role of the quiet, unassuming wife.”
She’d acted in a couple of school plays. Not the lead or anything, but she could pull this off. The thought of being a doormat didn’t appeal to her, though. Her acting abilities didn’t stretch that far. Maybe she could find a happy middle ground.
Conor frowned as if he’d suddenly thought of something. “If burglars make you nervous, why did you want to be a cop?”
Nervous? She choked back her laugh. Okay, he’d asked a reasonable question, except she didn’t want to admit the burglars didn’t bother her as much as he did. She thought about it for a moment. Why had she wanted to be a cop? Her father had almost started crowing when she’d told him her decision to go through the academy.
“Hero worship,” she admitted. “I doted on my father. I don’t remember much about my mother. She died when I was four.” Jessica had a vague image of soft blond hair and a warm smile. She remembered the questions she’d asked when her mother didn’t come back from the hospital. Her father’s tears had mingled with theirs when he told her and Gabe a story of how God needed a very special angel in heaven.
“Not having a mother must’ve been rough.”
She pulled her thoughts back to the present. “Time healed the wound and we were able to enjoy the memories she left behind. Dad became the center of my world. I knew he wanted me and Gabe to follow in his footsteps, and I guess at the time, I thought it was what I wanted.” She leaned against the counter.
Being a cop wasn’t the life she wanted, though. She needed more than pagers constantly going off, phones ringing, sirens blasting through the stillness of the night. Not to mention that wearing a gun and cop uniform hadn’t helped her social life. What did she say to men who filtered through her life?
I’d love to go out with you Saturday night. Oh, and by the way, I’m going to give you a ticket for speeding. Pick me up at seven?
Oh, yeah, her love life had been great. No wonder her father had resorted to finding her a husband.
“Speaking of your father…” He cleared his throat. “I called him about last night.”
She could feel the color drain from her face. “You did what?” she croaked.
He straightened. “I didn’t mention what happened between us,” he quickly interjected. “I told him Trudy came over, forcing me to stay upstairs while she was here.”
After this week she’d have to make an appointment with her hairdresser to get rid of all the gray hair Conor was giving her.
“And?”
“I said I fell asleep, Trudy left, and when I did go back downstairs, the Merediths had a visitor.”
Her glance moved over him. He’d taken all the blame. “It was as much my fault as yours.”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
It did to her.
He looked away. End of discussion. He was playing the hero. Lord save her from another one. She came from a family of heroes, and they had the medals and decorations to back up their deeds.
Except her.
“What changed your mind?” he asked, drawing her at tention once more. “About being a cop, I mean.”
Along with taking the blame, he’d also effectively dis missed their night together. Maybe it was for the best, but did it have to bother her so much? She thought it had been more than a casual one-night stand. Apparently, she’d been wrong.
She shrugged. “Does it matter?”
“I think it does to you. Maybe more than you want to admit.”
Psychology course? She didn’t need analyzing and she didn’t like the turn in their conversation. She opened her mouth to tell him to mind his own business, but the words wouldn’t come. Her eyes met his and she found she couldn’t look away.
It wasn’t like it was that big of a deal, and she didn’t want to make more out of the situation than was there. “I was tired of wearing a uniform. Somewhere along the way I lost my identity. I wanted to know what it was like to be feminine.” God, she hadn’t just told him her deep, dark secrets. It sounded so lame when she said the words out loud. She bit her bottom lip.
He didn’t look convinced that was her only reason.
“I don’t think that’s all of it. Maybe partly, but you left something out.”
At least she knew why he was a detective. Either that or he could read minds, but if that was the case, she’d already have been in really big trouble because she certainly hadn’t forgotten their night of hot sex.
Wicked visions suddenly invaded her mind. Her body tingled, starting at her lips where he’d kissed her, his mouth hot and sensual. Moving to her breasts where he’d teased sensitive nipples and down to the juncture between her legs where he’d caressed and stroked until she’d cried out that she needed more. The ache was tangible… so damn real it was all she could do to keep from throwing herself at him.
Don’t even go there! No, he couldn’t read minds—he was just good at reading people. Conor didn’t have any special powers.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine with me,” he said. “It’s not really any of my business why you wanted to quit.”
Now he was making a big deal out of an insignificant matter. At least, it wasn’t that important to her anymore. Time had helped ease the traumatic experience. Now she just thought of it as the catalyst that helped her move forward.
She shrugged mentally. What the hell. He’d find out sooner or later. She was surprised no one had told him, but then, her family was loyal. They wouldn’t have spilled the beans.
“I let an arsonist get away.” She watched his expression closely, waiting for condemnation. Not that she really cared what he thought.
Liar.
“Is that all? No one can catch the bad guy every time.”
Jessica wished that was the end of the story. It had happened over a year ago, but it might as well have been yesterday. She’d let her family think it hadn’t affected her, but it had. A lot.
“I rescued a goat.” She cringed. Okay, so it bothered her a little more than she liked to admit—even to herself.
Conor crossed his arms in front of him and leaned his hip against the counter. “A goat.”
She nodded, took a deep breath, and continued. “The dispatcher came over my portable radio with a call—a suspicious-looking character lurking around a house. About the same time, I heard a child’s cry for help.”
The wail had sounded human, damn it.
“The wind was blowing, children were just starting their summer break—it was early afternoon. I was afraid a kid had gotten a little too rambunctious and might
have injured himself. I told the dispatcher to send the next closest officer to the suspicious-person call while I investigated the cry for help.” She hesitated.
“Go on.”
His expression revealed none of his inner thoughts. He had to think she was a fool. No, that would probably come later.
“The two local television stations were apparently listening to their scanners that day. I guess they figured it might make a good human-interest story. They showed up just about the time I began trying to free the goat from the barbed wire fence he’d gotten himself tangled in. They were able to get most of the rescue-of-the-century on film.”
Jessica glanced out the window. She’d never been so embarrassed and humiliated in all her life.
“Is that all?”
“No.” She sighed. “After I freed him, the wind tore my cap off. The ungrateful beast butted me when I bent to grab it. They got that on tape, too.”
Silence filled the room. She still couldn’t look at him.
“They dubbed me ‘The New Kid on the Block.’ “
“After the goat, or the musical group?”
“Go ahead and laugh. Everyone else has.” She might as well spill the whole story. “The arsonist got away, but not before he’d torched the vacant house.”
“Anyone hurt?”
“No, thank goodness, but what if someone had been living there?”
“What if it had been a child instead of a goat? What if a child’s life had been in danger? What if the arsonist hadn’t been an arsonist, but instead, looking at the house because he was interested in buying it?”
“But it didn’t happen that way.” Why couldn’t he see? She’d screwed up.
“It didn’t happen your way, either.”
Now he was talking foolishly. She’d seen her picture flashed across the television screen. She’d heard the snickers.
“Was anyone hurt?” he asked again.
She opened her mouth, but no words came out.
“You’ve condemned yourself more than anyone, Jessica. Do you think all cops are perfect? Everyone has made mistakes.”
“But I’m a Nelson. The chief’s daughter. Nelsons are heroes, not duds.”
“Does that mean you’re not allowed to goof up?”
“Did you ever goof up?”
“Lots of times.”
She angled her head so she could look up at him. “As bad as I did?”
“Yeah, last night.”
Pain ripped through her.
“Don’t look at me like that.” He stepped closer, raising her chin until she had to look him in the eye. “I don’t regret what we did. I regret the timing wasn’t right.”
He stared into her eyes for a few seconds, but then something changed. There was a subtle difference in the way he was looking at her. She didn’t even attempt to stop him when he lowered his mouth to hers. The warmth of his lips felt so right against hers. She leaned closer, letting him invade her senses, letting the moment wrap around her. When he pulled away, she was left wanting more.
He looked a little dazed himself when he stepped back. For a moment they could only stare at each other. Then he shook his head and strode to one of the cabinets, opening the door. Conor replaced the plastic wrap before he turned toward her again.
“Apparently, I can’t even kiss you without wanting to carry you to bed. I apologize. It won’t happen again while I’m on duty.”
Disappointment stabbed at her. Before she could tell him that was fine with her, he began to speak.
“But it will happen again. You’re the most ravishing woman I’ve ever met. I don’t plan on our relationship ending this soon.”
She drew in a ragged breath as images of them lying naked in bed swirled around inside her head. She could almost feel his hands gliding over her body, his mouth covering first one breast, then the other.
He’s a cop! She had to end it now before either one of them got hurt.
“This isn’t real,” she began slowly. “I’m here to keep my father from losing a job he loves. You’re here to catch criminals. I really like you. Probably too much. And you’re right, what we did last night was wrong. But when this is over we’ll go back to the way things were. It won’t happen again. Remember, you’re the one who warned you didn’t play for keeps.”
He hesitated, as if weighing his words. “There’s some thing between us. You know it as well as I do.”
No, there couldn’t be. She wouldn’t allow it. Once they were no longer pretending to be married, they wouldn’t see each other again.
“When this is over, I’ll walk away without ever look ing back.” She didn’t need another hero in her life, and reliving the goat incident made her realize that what was starting up between her and Conor had to stop.
At least, that’s what her brain told her. Her heart was another matter entirely.
He stepped in front of her, searching her face. When he lightly caressed her arm, she couldn’t stop herself from leaning toward him.
“I think you’re a liar, Jessica Nelson,” he murmured.
He was right, but she detected a hint of uncertainty re flected in his eyes. He wasn’t as sure about her as he’d like to be. Maybe that was a good thing. A relationship with Conor would be doomed from the start. He was married to the badge, and she would be no man’s mistress.
Chapter 15
Jessica supposed Conor’s idea that she carry the potato salad wasn’t bad. At least she couldn’t twist her button loose. He looked way too tempting and his aftershave had her leaning closer, inhaling the tantalizing scent. Damn, didn’t he realize how hard it was, trying to concentrate on what she was supposed to be doing and not what she wanted to do when he looked and smelled so delicious?
Probably not. Except for the kiss earlier, he’d kept his distance. The rest of her day had been spent mentally chanting. It mellowed her. Enough so that she was transported to a place of peace, an island far away where ocean breezes caressed her naked skin as she lay on a sandy beach. A place where tropical birds serenaded her from high above in palm trees or whatever the fuck kind of trees tropical birds hung out in.
It hadn’t mattered, because Conor had shown up, shattering everything as he paraded across the sand bare-assed naked, bronzed even darker by a sun that never burned.
The caress of the ocean breeze was replaced by Conor’s skillful hands as they massaged lotion on her back, over her hips, between her legs. Just when his mouth was about to replace his hands, he’d asked if she was ready to leave for the Merediths’.
The damn ache between her legs still hadn’t stopped throbbing.
She covertly glanced in his direction. How could he look so cool and calm and so… so… unhorny? He’d turned her whole world upside down. Having sex again with him was all she could think about. And this from the woman who said she wouldn’t be having a relationship with him after her father’s job was secure? Like that would happen. She squared her shoulders. No, she could and would be strong.
He suddenly looked in her direction and smiled. She jerked her gaze away. Not when he looked at her like that. Damn, he had a sexy smile. Hell, he looked pretty sexy all over.
They stopped in front of their neighbors’ door and Conor pushed the bell.
From lowered lashes, Jessica cast a sideways glance in his direction. He’d swapped his usual jeans for beige slacks and a short-sleeved, white shirt. He looked good enough to nibble on.
Her skin grew warm. She faced the door, wishing her heart didn’t flutter quite so much every time she looked at him. They’d better hurry and get enough evidence, or she was going to be in big trouble.
Heavy, lumbering footsteps approached and the door was jerked open.
“Yeah?” the man growled.
The arm at her back kept Jessica from stumbling off the small porch. This wasn’t a man. A big, burly, ugly, smelly bear had opened the door. He was unshaven and wearing a grungy black T-shirt with words that had long ago faded.
This had to be the
father, the so-called head of the Meredith gang. He was an ugly bastard. The kind of ugly nightmares were made of.
Conor squeezed her arm. Probably to reassure her she wasn’t alone. She wanted to tell him that she’d been surprised at first, but she was okay now. The bigger they were, the harder they fell. Size didn’t mean a lot to her.
Well… except in some cases, and in Conor’s case he didn’t have to worry about that department.
Pay attention, she warned herself.
“Conor! Jessica!” Trudy’s voice came from behind her father-in-law. She squeezed past the mongrel.
And she’d thought they might’ve overdressed. If anything, compared to their hostess, they were very understated. Trudy wore a leopard-print blouse that clung to her generous curves and a tight, black leather miniskirt. Silver earrings dangled to her shoulders. Black hose and spike heels completed her outlandish ensemble.
“Now you didn’t have to bring food.” She took the bowl from Jessica’s hands and looked at the dish. “But I’m glad you did. I can’t cook for beans.” She stopped and laughed. “Beans. Huh! That was funny.”
Conor hugged Jessica close. Did he think she’d run back to the house and hide under the bed? She sighed. The Merediths didn’t scare her.
“Move out of the way, Pop. I invited Conor and Jessica over.” Trudy eyed the older man with a look of distaste. “And go change your shirt. You look worse than a busted sewer pipe and you don’t smell much better. Either shower or sit downwind from us.”
“You know how I feel about company.” He reached up and scratched the stubble of whiskers on his face. His eyes narrowed on the unwelcome visitors.
“Oh pooh, you don’t like anyone. Then go back to watching your TV I’ll have George take your steak off the grill since you don’t want to be sociable.”
“Didn’t say I wouldn’t join the party. I just want to fin ish watching my show. I’ll be out later.”
Trudy rolled her eyes after he left. “That was Winston, leader of the Meredith clan.” She winked. “Or so he thinks.” Jessica narrowed her eyes on Trudy. Interesting the way she’d phrased that statement.