She opened her eyes and met his gaze. She could lie to him, put on the mantle of the grieving fiancée, but she had no stomach for it today. "My regrets have more to do with you than Marcus."
His eyes darkened. "Me? Why?" Bitterness lingered in his words.
Elizabeth swallowed the lump lodging like old dust in her throat. Could she tell him? Could she risk it all now? Open the old hurts and wounds that had been festering for so long?
She straightened. The time for fear was past. She was tired of lying and pretending. She was tired of being afraid. Perhaps the two of them could bridge the divide she'd wedged between them by accepting Marcus's advances instead of forcing him away. "Why did you leave Midwick Manor?"
"There was nothing left for me here. The Templars needed me."
Elizabeth felt tears sting her eyes. "Lucius, I needed you."
"It certainly didn't look it."
She shook her head. "Nay, you don't understand. Marcus kissed me. I was surprised, didn't know what to do. You assumed—"
"I saw the look in my brother's eyes. He'd fallen in love with you."
"But I had not fallen in love with him. Why did you not look into my eyes? You would have known the truth." Elizabeth took a deep breath. She had nothing to lose and everything to gain in the next heartbeat. "I have always loved you."
He remained silent, but she could see the thump of his pulse in his jaw. He turned his gaze to the grave at their feet. "But why…?" he finally said, almost to himself.
"I didn't get a chance to speak with you. You were gone the next day." She paused. "I waited months for you to return. You didn't."
Silence settled between them. "I miss him," Lucius finally said. "I could have come back to see him at any time, but I was always too busy with one Templar cause or another. After Peter's death, I missed Marcus all the more. And even then, I stayed away. If only I'd come home, maybe then he would still be here. Maybe I could have saved him from the English."
"No one could have saved him. The battle was swift. We had no time to gather the clans. Ten good men died that day, and the clans have been suffering since. The border is weak. I think that in part is why your uncle had such an easy time sending the servants away. They were scared with no one to protect them."
"I'm here to protect all of you now." His brow furrowed. "But even I cannot protect these lands alone."
"You aren't alone. We are all here, waiting for guidance, waiting to build a new future with you."
"Is that why you're here, Elizabeth? To build a new future?"
The tears she'd been fighting spilled over her lashes and onto her cheeks. I have no future without you. She wanted to say the words, but they lodged in her throat. Instead, she stepped toward him and took his face between her palms. She pressed up on her toes and brought her lips to his, ever so gently, before pulling away. "The future awaits," she whispered against his lips.
Lucius did not kiss her back. "I need time, Elizabeth, to sort things out."
"You have three days, Lucius," Elizabeth said. And on those words, she hurried back to the manor.
When the first rays of sunlight woke Elizabeth the next morning, her thoughts immediately returned to last night. Had Lucius thought about their moments beside Marcus's grave as much as she had? Lucius had been unresponsive to her profession of love and to her kiss. Was all hope for a future together lost? Or had the night given him the time he'd claimed he needed to think about their situation?
Only seeing him in the flesh would tell her what she needed to know. But it was the hope of change that fueled her movements as she dressed then hastened downstairs to the great hall. She gazed about the chamber only to find Marie tending to a pot hanging over the fire in the hearth.
"Excuse me, Marie. Where might I find Lord Carrick? Is he about yet?"
Marie tapped her spoon on the edge of the kettle before turning to face her. "I'm sorry, my lady. He's already gone."
"Where?" she asked in a pleading whisper.
Marie shrugged and offered an understanding smile. "He said nothing, only to expect him later because of the snow."
"More snow?" Elizabeth swallowed her disappointment as she moved to the shuttered window on the opposite side of the large room. She pulled up the latch and swung the shutter out to see snow lying three feet deep against the side of the manor. Beyond lay a pure white carpet with no hint of shrubs or landscape. Even the loch lay covered in a sheet of white. The skeletons of oak and rowan trees that lined the loch's eastern shore glistened beneath a layer of ice and snow.
Abovestairs, she could hear the girls' excited chatter as one by one they drifted down the stairs, until they all stood at the window.
"I've never seen so much snow." Iris, who showed no signs of her usual grumpiness, leaned through the open window and breathed in a deep breath of the cool, crisp air.
"It's lovely!" Camellia exclaimed with a bright smile.
"Let's go outside." Lily tugged on Elizabeth's skirt. "Please?"
"It's two days until Christmastide. We must gather the greens and decorate." Heather looked at Elizabeth expectantly.
"It's two days until you and our brother are to be married." Rose bent down and lifted Lily into her arms. "We need to prepare."
"We can do both. Play outside and gather greens." Lily nodded, sending her curls bobbing around her flushed cheeks.
"Please, Elizabeth, say we can," they begged in unison.
When she held up a hand, silence fell. "Break your fast first," she told them. "Once you have dressed in your boots and warmest cloaks, hats, and mittens, then you can go outside. Understood?"
Five girls nodded enthusiastically and hurried from the chamber, dancing along the hallway toward the stairs, talking loudly, and making wild plans for all the fun they'd have in the snow.
It seemed like only a few moments before they were gathered once more in the hall dressed for their adventure out of doors. Elizabeth had used her time to find an ax and a pair of shears, along with a basket for gathering the greens. She knew exactly where she would take the girls—to the woods that served as a border between Midwick Manor and Huntingdon Hall. Holly, ivy, and mistletoe grew there in abundance.
They left the manor through the kitchen door facing the open terrain covered in white. Once outside the younger girls seemed more excited about playing in the snow than finding decorations. Rose and Camellia agreed to indulge them for a time, and they put their decorating mission aside temporarily.
While the young girls scurried about in the snow, Rose and Camellia made a large snowball, then a smaller one, before putting them together into a snowman greeting visitors to the kitchen door. Heather and Iris lay in the snow, making a host of snow angels. Lily gathered and threw snowballs at everyone.
Elizabeth ducked to avoid taking a snowball in the head. Caught up in the girls' good humor, she swept up a handful of snow and sent it flying. It hit Camellia square in the back. The sixteen-year-old's eyes widened as a smile wreathed her face, and suddenly Elizabeth found herself the center of all the girls' snowballs. Her dramatic responses to each hit and miss, and her own missiles, kept them all laughing for much of the morning. Finally, when the girls had had enough, they followed Elizabeth up a hill for several hundred feet to the top of a ridge. The ridge stood no more than five feet wide, but the narrow sliver of land had always served as a dividing line between the two estates. It had been one of her favorite places to come as a child and wait for Lucius to join her for an afternoon of frolicking and games.
"You can see Midwick Manor and Huntingdon Hall from here," Lily exclaimed.
Elizabeth shook off the memory and looked down on the place she used to call home. A pang of sadness filled her. This ridge was a divide between her future and her past.
"Do you miss your home?" Rose asked quietly beside her.
Elizabeth swallowed thickly and looked up at the tall blonde. "I do and I don't. It's hard to explain."
"I'm old enough to remember how things used to b
e between you and Lucius," Rose said. Her light eyes held a note of sympathy.
"That was a long time ago. Much has happened since then."
Rose shook her head. "Perhaps between you and Lucius, but not with us girls. You've always been our friend, and when we learned you were to be our sister, we were all so happy." She turned her gaze to the younger girls, who still threw snowballs at each other. "Lily never knew our mother, since she died giving birth to her. Iris and Heather only have faint memories. They need you."
"And you and Camellia? Why would you accept me so readily when you two have been in charge here for so long?"
Rose met her gaze. "We love our family, but we both want to find a family of our own someday."
Elizabeth's cheeks warmed. She understood that sentiment all too well. "Looks like we have some decorating to do if we are going to get the hall ready for not only Christmastide, but a wedding celebration."
Lily dropped her snowball and her small hand reached up to touch Elizabeth's sleeve. "You'll stay with us forever, right?"
Elizabeth smiled and covered the gloved fingers with her own. "You all are everything I've ever dreamed of in this life. My home is Midwick Manor for as long as your brother will have me."
"We want you to stay forever," Lily said wistfully.
"Only your brother can determine that."
Heather leaped from one edge of the ridge to the other. "Then let's decorate the house and make things so beautiful, he can't help but want you to stay."
If only it were that simple. "We'd better get busy then." Elizabeth forced excitement into her voice as she headed for the holly bush off to her left.
The girls raced ahead of her along the edge of the ridge and busied themselves collecting greens and pinecones and pulling mistletoe down from where it had climbed up into the branches of the trees, until the basket was filled to overflowing. Only then did they scour the area in search of the perfect tree with which to make their Yule log. The girls raced along the long, flat ridge, heading farther south until they came to a stop in front of a tall tree that grew just off the side of the flattened area.
"This is it!" Iris exclaimed.
"It's perfect," the other girls echoed.
"It will definitely keep burning for the twelve days of Christmastide," Camellia said with awe in her voice.
Elizabeth carried the ax with her to the tree. She stopped before the girls' selection and braced herself on the incline. The tree was big, and would no doubt be heavy once she chopped it down. If she could chop it down, she amended, eyeing the thick trunk. "Perhaps we should wait for your brother to help with the tree."
"At your service, my lady," came a voice from behind her.
"Lucius!" Lily cried, and threw herself into his arms.
Elizabeth startled. They'd been so absorbed in their gathering and tree hunting that they hadn't seen his approach. And he'd come from the direction of her father's house. Why?
She took a step toward him, but the uneven ground knocked her off balance. She dropped the ax as she tried to regain her footing. Instead, she slipped, fell, then tumbled down the ridge. Trees dashed in and out of her vision. A woodsy smell invaded her senses. Pain erupted against her temple. The edges of her vision turned black and everything started to spin.
Chapter Five
"Elizabeth!"
Lucius reached out to grab her, but he was too late. She tumbled down the eastern side of the ridge on the Huntingdon Hall side.
"Don't you girls move. Do you hear me?" Without waiting for a reply he scrambled after her, falling a few times, dodging trees and fighting the suffocating snow.
Oh, God, not Elizabeth! What have I done?
Lucius tried to hurry, to keep his eyes on her slim form below. His heart pounded in his chest. She lay facedown. Her tawny hair fanned out around her.
"Elizabeth." She was less than ten feet away from him. She moved her arm away from her head.
She is alive.
Then he saw the bloodred snow.
"Lucius," she whispered.
He sank to his knees beside her. "Don't move," he panted, unable to catch his breath. "Lie still. I need to check your wounds." He turned her head slightly. "There's a small gash at your temple. Does your head pain you?"
"I'm dizzy and I feel foolish, but other than that I'm well."
"Let me make certain." He felt over her arms and legs as he had to his brother Templars who'd fallen in battle.
She shifted to her side and reached out to gently grip his hand. She squeezed once before she released him. "Truly, it is just my head."
"Then let's get you back to the manor." At the sound of her weak voice, emotion tightened his chest. She would be all right. She had to be.
He placed his hand at the back of her neck. "I'm going to roll you over. Let me do the work," he urged as he eased her out of the snow to face him. "You're going to be fine." He gathered snow in his palm and gently applied it to the edge of her forehead. She flinched at the cold a moment before she leaned into his touch. "I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. I didn't mean to startle you."
"It was my fault for allowing myself to be distracted by the girls. None of us saw you coming."
He allowed himself a slight smile. "Blame it on the Templars. We were trained to walk silently when approaching the enemy."
Her gaze met his. "Am I the enemy?"
"Nay, Elizabeth. No longer. Let us put that past behind us. Shall we?"
She tried to sit up.
"Rest a moment," he protested, but she ignored him and sat anyway. Lucius leaned back on his haunches and signaled to the girls above that Elizabeth was well.
"I need to get back to the girls." She struggled to stand.
"Let me help you," he said as he stood, then scooped her into his arms.
"I can walk," she protested.
"I insist." He pulled her closer and his body heat warmed her.
She made no further comment as he carried her back up the hillside to the girls. Once they reached the top, the girls gathered around her.
"Are you hurt?" Camellia asked, her gaze straying to the blood at the side of Elizabeth's head.
"She'll be well once we take her home," Lucius said. "Let's get you all out of the snow."
"But she's bleeding," Lily said with a lisp as she captured Elizabeth's hand in her own smaller one.
"It's nothing serious, my sweet," she said, with a gentle smile.
"Two of you grab the basket of greens and let's go." Lucius tightened his hold on Elizabeth. The girls hurried ahead of them, leaving the two of them alone.
"Why were you at my father's house?" she asked in a voice no more than a whisper. "Were you trying to talk him out of our betrothal?" She stared at him, her eyes filled with a fragile sadness he had never seen there before.
"Your father wasn't home. Farnsworth informed me he's in Edinburgh."
He saw a shimmer of tears glaze her eyes before she turned her face into his chest.
Oh, Lord… Her father was gambling again. Lucius felt almost sick to his stomach at the thought. Elizabeth's father had dumped his daughter in the most inhumane way imaginable, then scurried back to the obsession that would ultimately destroy him. For Lucius had seen for himself the Huntingdon estate had nothing else of value left within it.
"I'll tell you what my father would have said had he been at home. He would say that I am no longer his worry. What happens to me will be of my own choosing."
"And your choice is to be with us?"
She bit her lip and looked past him at the girls, who had reached the rear door of the manor. "I had hoped my kiss last night said it all, but aye, I want to be here with you and your sisters."
He was too stunned by her revelation to respond. Was it his own dreadful assumptions that had set them all on this course? If he'd stayed and confronted Elizabeth or even Marcus, would both his brothers still be alive today?
He paused as they reached the manor at the doorway and drew a sharp breath. Was he making assum
ptions now about this woman and her plans to situate herself in his life?
"Please set me down." Her voice was soft, but insistent. "I need no further humiliation this day."
He placed her on her feet but kept his hand near the small of her back as she wobbled slightly.
Elizabeth moved a step away from Lucius, inside the doorway and out of his reach. She pushed the heartbreak she felt deep inside her as she cast a final glance at the man she loved.
Lucius now knew everything, her feelings for him and her father's dreadful obsession. He'd no doubt figured out that her father was off gaming with what remained of her bride-price. He'd seen for himself she had nowhere else to go as a result of their family's arrangement. And he didn't seem to care.
Elizabeth turned to go inside when Lucius placed his chilled fingers on her arm. He held her there. Their eyes locked.
A rush of emotion passed over his taut features. "Let me help you, Elizabeth."
She swallowed roughly, then nodded, uncertain what exactly he meant by his words. A part of her was frightened, another part hopeful, as she allowed him to lead her inside the kitchen.
Lucius shooed his sisters out of the chamber. "I'll inform you when Elizabeth is cleaned up."
"Goodness!" Marie swung around from where she stood near the hearth, her hands covered in flour up to her elbows. She turned white at the sight of Elizabeth's head and gown. She wiped the flour from her hands with her apron. "What happened?" Marie grabbed a bowl from the table near the hearth and filled it with water from a pitcher.
"A tree," both Elizabeth and Lucius said in unison.
He picked up a length of clean linen folded on the table, then knelt beside her. After dipping the cloth in water, he gently patted it over her sensitive flesh.
Lucius's touch was warm and excruciatingly intimate as he pushed back her hair from her cheek and dabbed at her jaw and her throat. His hand felt heavy, and her throat fragile and vulnerable. She swallowed. "Is the wound deep?"
"Nay. You are very lucky to have no serious injury."
The color returned to Marie's face. "If the two of ye have the situation in hand, then I'll go check on the girls."
Border Lord's Bride Page 4