by Jo Raven
“’s okay,” he mumbles. “I’m twenty-one, by the way.”
Jesse told me that already. I open my mouth to say so, when the doorbell rings.
Fucking hell. Is this a surprise party? Did I forget someone’s birthday?
And then it hits me. Raine’s birthday. It’s today.
I throw the door open, and there he is. All six-foot-two of him, the lanky, too-thin frame I remember filled out, packed with muscle, those blue eyes angry.
Well, that at least hasn’t changed.
“Happy birthday, R,” I breathe, when all I wanna do is pull him into a hug, because damn, I’ve missed him, but he pushes past me. “Raine, what—?”
“Who’s he?” He nods at Jason. “Is that the motherfucker you had staying over instead of me?”
“You know what this motherfucker has to say to you?” Jason snarls, and I whirl to stare at him as he transforms from a quiet, nice guy into a wild animal, all teeth and claws.
Jesus fuck. “R, stop—”
“Look at that top you’re wearing. What the fuck. You’re a hooker?” Raine ignores me completely, as if we see each other every day and not like the last time I saw him he was being dragged away by my aunt, howling and crying.
Breaking my heart.
“Yeah, I’m a hooker,” Jason hisses. “Got a problem with that?”
“Don’t you? You proud of it?”
“It’s what’s kept me alive,” Jason spits the words. “Not everyone has the chances you got, baby. Not everyone has an older brother who’d do anything for you.”
Dammit. “Hey. Enough, both of you. Jason, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare apologize on my behalf,” Raine snarls.
“Fuck, R, then apologize yourself, or shut your mouth.”
“I’m leaving.” Jason hesitates, glances at me. “Again thank you, Ocean. You saved my life. Please tell Kayla my thanks, too. That was the best soup I’ve ever had.”
And he leaves, closing the door behind him.
Raine stares at it, splotches of red on his cheeks, then glances at me. “Shit.”
“That’s about right,” I growl. “You’re better than this, Raine. This isn’t you. You’re not an asshole, so what’s the matter with you?”
“You don’t know me anymore,” he reminds me.
“Yeah. My fault. I know.”
“No,” he says, shocking the hell out of me, especially when he turns away, his shoulders trembling. “No, it isn’t.”
Damn, I don’t know what to say. I’m so used to defending myself with him, I’m drawing a blank. I rack my brain for something to offer, then settle with placing a hand on his shoulder.
He doesn’t shrug it off. Doesn’t move. When I wrap an arm around his shoulders, he doesn’t resist. When I pull him into a hug, he lets me.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says, muffled against my shoulder, grabbing me and thumping his fists on my back. “I’m so fucking sorry, Shun. But I’m not going back.”
“No, you’re not,” I agree, my voice thick. “You’re staying here with me. Happy eighteenth birthday, asshole.”
He laughs, and it comes out like a sob.
When I lift my gaze, Kayla is standing in the middle of the room, looking at us, and smiling.
***
“I’m coming with you,” Raine says, sinking on the couch and raking his hands through his dark hair. “To visit Mom.”
“Good idea.” I exchange a look with Kayla. She shrugs.
“I don’t trust her, you know,” he continues.
“I know.” How do you trust a mother who was never a mother to you? “It’s okay.”
“When are you going over there?”
“Tomorrow. I’ll see her after the race.”
“The race?” His face lifts, and his eyes blaze. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re racing again?”
I wince. Shit, I forgot he didn’t know about this. “It’s complicated.”
“He’s racing to get money for your mom’s medical bills,” Kayla says.
The silence spreading between us is hot and stretched thin like a soap bubble.
“You’re giving them money?” Raine’s voice rises, incredulous. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
“Her. I’m giving her money. For the doctor.” I glare at him. “What would you have me do? Let her die?”
“Christ, Shun. Are you sure Dad isn’t getting the money?”
“Dammit, no. I’d never give him a cent. I’ve been paying the doctor directly or giving the money to Mom.”
He nods. “Good.” He looks like he wants to rant some more but doesn’t. “Yeah, that’s good.”
I’m pissed at him for telling me what to do, when he hasn’t bothered to even check on Mom until now. And I’m so fucking happy to see him, I can’t stand it.
“So you’re the famous Raine,” Kayla says, and I pull her closer and dump her on my lap. She laughs, and I soak in the sound, letting it relax me.
“Famous?” He quirks a brow at me.
“Ocean can’t stop talking about you. How he wished you’d talk to him, visit him, how you banded together to survive when you were little.”
Raine’s eyes clear, his brows shooting up, and he looks a lot like the kid he was back then. “He does?”
“I missed you, asshole.” I wrap my arms around Kayla and inhale her scent. “I failed you. I fucked up your life, and I’m s—”
“Don’t.” He winces. “Dammit, Shun.” He stops, breathes in. “Blue. I was an asshole to you, and I know it. I was so pissed with you when you sent me away. I was lonely, and so damn scared.” He snorts, rubs at his eyes. “I hated you because you stayed home, and I was shipped off like an orphan. Like I didn’t matter, you know?”
“Shit.” I clench my hands on Kayla’s waist, preparing to lift her off me and go hug him again. Not a very manly thing to do, but hey, he’s my little brother, and I fucking hurt him. Bad. “You mattered more than anyone else. Don’t you see? I wished I could have left, too. But our aunt would only take one of us. So I knew it had to be you.”
“Holy crap, you guys.” Kayla slips from my lap before I can stop her and pulls on my hand until I get up, wondering what she’s doing.
“What is she doing?” Raine asks.
I shrug.
She drags me to the couch and pushes me down next to Raine. Then she kneels at our feet and takes our hands, clasps them together. Her eyes are wet again, and I want to dry her tears and ask what is wrong, but she doesn’t give me time for it.
“Hug,” she says, her expression determined. “You went through so much, both of you, and Raine, if by now you don’t know your brother loves you more than he loves himself, then you’re an idiot. So…” She presses our hands together. “Hug. Big bear hug. Go on.”
Raine’s mouth purses, then twitches. He catches my eye and I snort. Then we’re chuckling, and hugging and it feels good, so fucking good to have my brother back.
Slender arms wrap around us both, and Kayla says, “This is more like it,” and laughs with us.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kayla
I sleep curled in the crook of Ocean’s arm, his warm body pressed to mine. I sleep and dream of cars crashing into walls and exploding, of fire and black smoke and burning heat.
When I open my eyes, he’s turned toward me, stroking my side, a pensive expression on his handsome face. He’s still wearing the T-shirt I made him.
It makes me smile.
“It’s late,” he says, his voice smoky with sleep.
“We had a rough day yesterday.” Then I check the time on his bedside clock and jump. “Oh crap. I have classes. I need to run.”
He props himself up on one elbow as I hop off the bed and hunt for my dress. “Love your ass,” he mutters, and God, that voice almost has me crawling back to bed. “And your legs.”
“Yeah. What about my muffins?” I cup them for him over the T-shirt I’m wearing and lift a brow.
“Oh
fuck, I love your muffins so much.” His voice is lower now, growly. He sits up, his pupils dilating to black. “Come back here.”
“No.” I shake my finger at him for emphasis and pull off the T-shirt.
“Kay.” It’s a groan, and he reaches down between his legs, giving his morning wood a good tug.
My turn to groan, because how sexy is that? Seriously. “Stop tempting me.”
“I am tempting you? You’re the one standing all naked and pretty in my bedroom.”
Okay, good point, but I really need to run. Pulling on my dress, next I hunt for my panties. And tights. And boots. Where did everything go?
“I’ll pick you up after midday,” I tell him when I finally locate what I’m looking for and sit on the bed to pull on panties and tights. His gaze is focused on my hands as I slide on my panties that reek of sex. “Eyes on me, Blue.”
“They are,” he rumbles but looks up and blinks, smirking.
“Pick you up. Around two. That enough time?”
“Yeah. Sure.” He glances at the door. Just beyond, in the living room, is his brother and a big part of his past. A brother who hates the fact Ocean is racing again just as much as I do, if not more.
And I have a plan. I need to do something. I can’t let him put himself in such danger today, not after seeing that spectacular car crash yesterday. Who knows if the driver survived.
It would be a miracle.
I kiss Ocean quickly on the mouth, resist when he tries to drag me down on the bed with him, and hurry through the living room and the lump of sleeping Raine under the covers on the sofa.
The moment I’m outside, I call the guys.
This is bigger than me. Bigger than my resources, my knowledge, my imagination. I need help. Ocean needs help, and I have to find a way to fix this and make sure he stays alive.
For his brother.
For this friends.
And above all, for me. I can’t imagine loving anyone but him, being with anyone but him. As much as I’m his, he’s mine to protect and care for.
Mine.
***
After classes, I meet with Ev. She comes with me to the hairdresser’s and takes advantage to put highlights in her hair.
“Summer is coming,” she informs me. “My highlights seem shocking to you with what you’re about to do to your hair?”
She has a point.
“You look happy,” she says, flipping through a magazine without looking. “Is that a hickey on your neck?”
I clap a hand over my neck, heat spilling over my face. I can’t remember Ocean giving me a hickey but you never know.
“Gotcha.” She grins at me, and I glare back. “So I’m right? Are you guys together now? It was about time. I almost lost my bet.”
“You put a bet on me sleeping with Ocean?”
“Nah,” she replies to my outraged question. “That would have been too easy. Sex wasn’t the issue. But going out… dating. That was the bet.”
“And who bet against?” Funny how in the midst of all the crap piling on us, this has my panties in a twist.
“Seth. Well, in fact he said Ocean would never go out with a girl before he managed to get his brother back.”
“You may not get your money, then,” I say, swallowing. “Because his brother is back. Since last night.”
The magazine falls from her hands to the floor. “You’re shitting me.”
“Nope. Raine Storm is back to stay, apparently. He and Ocean talked and Raine realized what a douche he’d been to his brother. And they hugged.” I consider this. “And then I made them hug again because you can’t imagine everything they went through, and I just can’t tell you, because…”
“It’s too sad?” Ev whispers, her eyes already filling up.
I nod.
“Isn’t this like the heroes of the books you like reading? With dark and tortured pasts?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it is. I never thought it would break my heart to know what happened to him.” God, I wish he were the happy boy I thought he was. I wish he’d been spared this pain. “I don’t think I’ll ever read an ugly-cry romance ever again.”
“I’m glad the brothers got back together.” She gives me a watery smile. God, this girl is as bad as me. Too emotional. “But you also look like you swallowed something sour. What is it?”
I proceed to tell her everything—about the trailer park, Ocean’s parents, his mom’s sickness, the bills, the racing.
When I’m done, she’s actually crying big fat tears.
“You okay, girl?” I check my purse for tissues. “I know this is awful, but stop, or I’ll start bawling, too. You’re not pregnant already, are you?”
“No.” She blows her nose into the tissue I offer her. “I like Ocean. He was always there for me and Micah. We have to stop him from racing again.”
“I talked to Zane and Tyler and Shane. We’ll find a way.”
“Oh thank God.” She pats her face dry. “Jeez. I can’t imagine what I’ll be like when I’m pregnant.”
“Me neither.” God, I shouldn’t be laughing, but now I’ve started I can’t stop. “Poor Micah.”
“Don’t say that. If you knew what he went through…” Now she’s both laughing and crying, and seriously, if she’s not pregnant, then my name’s Edward Cullen and I glitter in the sunlight.
“We’ll fix this,” I tell her, more to convince myself than her. “Together we’ll find a way. We’re a family, aren’t we?”
“Damn right,” she says and high-fives me. “Family.”
***
When I pass by Ocean’s building at two, I do a double-take. His brother is like his clone, only with dark hair instead of blue. Even the way they both lift their hand to wave at me is identical.
Then they climb into my tiny car, and Ocean gapes at me. “Your hair!”
“Like it?” It’s not the same blue as his—mine has lilac and pink in it.
“Yeah! God. It’s so pretty.” He touches it reverently. “You did this for me?”
I smile at him, and he leans closer to kiss me. His scent wraps around me, his taste fills my senses, and I know I’d know him in a crowd of clones.
I fully expect Raine to tell us to get a room or something in that vein—God knows he was obnoxious to Ocean, and to Jason in the brief time I’ve known him—but a glance in the rearview mirror shows me a funny expression on his face. Like a cross between happiness, wistfulness and sadness.
Huh.
I’m not sure what to make of Ocean’s brother yet, and I still haven’t forgiven him for putting Ocean through a world of guilt for something that hadn’t been his fault.
As we drive out of town, Raine falls asleep in the back seat, his gentle snoring mingling with the music I put on.
Ocean turns to look at his brother and laughs softly. “Typical,” he whispers, and he looks more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him, considering we’re heading back to the racing track that had him so stressed yesterday he almost had a panic attack at the end of it.
“If you had a choice,” I ask Ocean, “to avoid the race and still help your mom, would you take it?”
He stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. “Fuck yeah, I would. Why?”
“Nothing. Just asking.”
He narrows his eyes. “What are you thinking about, Kay?”
“How I should make you more blue T-shirts. And then convince you to take them off again.”
He makes a face and chuckles.
God, I love his chuckle. Deep and dark, it comes only second to his full laughter that’s so loud and open, and I also love his brooding expression, and his aroused one, when his eyes go all shadowy and hooded…
My phone buzzes with a text and I check it quickly. Ocean glances at me, but I mouth “Amber” and he looks away.
Actually it’s Shane, asking for info.
“Hey.” I touch Ocean’s arm. “The doctor seeing your mom. What’s his name?”
“Robert Yates,” he says immediately, an
d I love that he trusts me and doesn’t even ask why I want to know.
I love everything about this boy. Gah. Is it normal? Is it even possible?
I quickly send the name to Shane and focus back on the road. Getting us to the race track in one piece might be a good idea.
My phone chirps with a couple more texts, but I ignore them for now. Hope is buzzing through me. I trust these people to help when it comes to one of their own, and Ocean is their brother.
They’ll come through.
But when we reach the field with its collection of parked muscled cars, I only see Duane, and my heart sinks.
Raine sits up in my back seat, rubs a hand over his eyes and groans. “Son of a bitch. Fucking Duane. This is like a nightmare.”
“Language,” Ocean mutters, and I glance at him, surprised.
Raine flips him off. “I’m fucking eighteen now.”
“Not that it ever stopped you before.”
And they’re both grinning.
I roll my eyes. Brothers.
Then Raine gets out, and Ocean prepares to do the same.
“No.” I grab his arm. “Wait.”
I lean over and kiss him and put my hands on his face. “Please don’t race,” I whisper against his warm lips. “I have a bad feeling. Please?”
“I can’t, Kay,” he whispers back, but he doesn’t sound angry. Only tired. “I don’t know what you read in your cards—”
“I haven’t checked my cards in days. I don’t care what the cards say.” I press my forehead to his. “I’ll burn my cards if you stay.”
His eyes widen. Then his gaze softens. “I love you, Kay.”
“Love you, too.”
“I wish…” He pulls back and tilts his head to the side, his mouth falling open. “What the hell?”
I turn and sigh in relief. Zane is striding toward us, his tall green Mohawk unmistakable, followed by a group of people.
Ocean shoots me a bewildered look, then climbs out of my car and leans against it, waiting. I get out quickly, zipping up my jacket.
“So this is what you asked the day off for, huh, fucker?” Zane asks the moment he’s close enough to be heard.
“Z-man.” Ocean folds his arms over his chest, brows drawing together. “Yeah, this is it, exactly.”