by Helen Lacey
She hadn’t heard from Noah all week. Nor had she seen Lily. She only had a message on her answering machine telling her he’d decided to take his daughter to Janelle Evans for lessons from now on. Callie had replayed the message countless times, listening for something, some indication he regretted what had happened between them. And because she’d heard nothing like that in the direct, clipped tones, each day dragged out longer than the one before.
She’d tried ignoring the pain suddenly and permanently lodged inside her.
She’d tried not to think about how much she missed him.
And how much she missed Lily. And the rest of his amazing family.
And as she’d thought her heart irreparably broken and imagined she’d never feel anything deep enough to really be hurt ever again, Callie came face-to-face with the truth. And it shocked her to the core.
I love him.
She was in love with Noah.
She wasn’t sure how to deal with the feelings that were new, raw and strangely precious. Her head hurt thinking about it. She looked at the melting ice cream and was just about to trade it for some aspirin when Tessa barked and moments later the doorbell rang.
Fiona stood on her doorstep and walked across the threshold holding a bottle of wine in each hand. “We thought we’d come over and cheer you up,” her friend announced.
“We?”
Evie Dunn stuck her head around the open door. “She means me.” Evie’s wildly curling black hair bobbed around her face. “Can I come in?”
“Of course.”
Within seconds the door was shut and Fiona scooted to the kitchen for glasses.
“You don’t mind?” Evie asked.
Callie shook her head. “I could use the company,” she admitted and suggested they take a seat.
Evie sat on the oversize love seat and curled up one foot. “It was Fee’s idea.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” Callie said, and tried not to think about how much Evie looked like her brother. And she was glad for the company. She had the feeling Evie could become a good friend. She pointed to the bowl on the table and smiled. “I was just about to consume a gallon of ice cream.”
“As a substitute for what?” Fiona chirped as she came back into the room.
Callie fought off the embarrassment clinging to her skin and ignored her friend’s teasing. “You guys have saved me from a gazillion calories.”
Fiona laughed then poured wine into three glasses and passed them around.
“If it’s any consolation,” Evie said quietly, “he doesn’t look any better than you do.”
Callie tried not to think about how hearing that made her feel. It wasn’t as if either of them had made any kind of declaration to one another. Their relationship had fizzled out before it had really begun. What could she say that wouldn’t make her look like a silly, lovesick fool?
“Noah told me some of what happened,” Evie said and took a sip of wine. “Lily’s pretty broken up that you’re not teaching her anymore.”
“It’s probably for the best.”
“I’m not so sure. Sometimes you have to push past the hard times.”
“Noah has to focus on Lily,” Callie said and took a drink.
Evie tutted. “My brother has focused solely on his kids for the past four years. And apart from Lily’s gothic rebellion and typical teenage moodiness, she’s never talked about how her mother’s departure made her feel. And then wham, you walk into their lives and she starts letting things slip. There’s a connection, Callie. Because of you she’s opening up and that’s a positive thing. Talking about her mother is good for Lily.”
“I agree,” Callie said. “But she needs to be able to do that without being afraid her world is going to be rocked upside down.”
“By you?” Evie asked. “Lily worships you.”
Callie’s throat tightened. “As her friend. Not as…something else.”
“You mean Noah’s girlfriend? Or a potential stepmother?”
Stepmother? Heavens. How had this happened? How had she become so deeply involved with the Preston’s that Evie was suggesting marriage? Loving Noah had changed everything. Not being with him hurt so much Callie wondered how she’d get through it.
“She needs stability,” Callie said. “She needs to know her father isn’t about to get sidetracked.”
“She has stability,” Evie said a little more forcibly. “What she needs is to know relationships can work and that not all women are like her mother and will leave her.”
Callie agreed. Except she wasn’t sure she was the kind of role model Lily needed.
And she suspected Noah thought that, too.
Noah thrummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for Lily. The twins and Jamie, buckled up in the back of the utility vehicle, chatted quietly to one another. Harry was asleep on the front porch. The morning air was warm, typical of a November day. Summer would soon be here. And summer in Crystal Point meant the little township would be buzzing with tourists and convoys of camper trailers and weekend holidaymakers searching for some relief from the unforgiving heat in the clear waters of the surf beach and river mouth. He watched as Lily shut the front door and bolted toward the vehicle. She got into the truck and put on the seat belt.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Sure. I hope Maddy’s okay.”
Maddy Spears had been in a horse-riding accident and her mother Angela had called, asking if he could bring Lily to see her at the hospital.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Noah assured her and started the engine. “How are the lessons going?” he asked, trying to take her mind off her worrying about her best friend.
Lily rolled her eyes. “I’ve only had one. And like you don’t know that already? I’m sure she’s told you everything.”
She. Janelle Evans. Lily’s new instructor. The enemy. Noah hung on to his patience. “I thought you liked Janelle.”
She huffed. “You thought wrong. She’s so old.”
He eased the vehicle into gear. “She’s experienced.”
Lily’s eyes narrowed. “Old,” she repeated.
“I think you should cut her some slack,” Noah said quietly.
Another huff. “Well, you would. Seeing it was your idea that I go there in the first place.”
“You said you wanted lessons,” Noah reminded her.
“I do. But I don’t want them with her.” Lily rolled her eyes. “I don’t see why I can’t go back to Callie. It’s not like I broke up with her or anything. I knew I’d be the one who ended up getting screwed.”
“Watch the language,” he warned.
“At least you’re not going to start dating this instructor,” Lily snapped back. “I mean, she’s like one hundred years old or something. So I’m pretty sure you won’t marry her.”
“Who are you marrying, Daddy?” came a determined voice from the backseat.
Noah spotted Jamie in the rear vision mirror and smiled. “No one, mate.”
“You could marry Callie,” Jamie said determinedly. “We like her. You like her, too, don’t you, Dad?”
“Stupid question,” Lily said.
“I’m not stupid,” Jamie wailed.
“Yeah, you are.”
Noah called a truce. “Stop the name calling.” Lily made a face and he suspected Jamie stuck his tongue out in response.
“Are you going to marry Callie, Dad?” Jamie asked, almost jumping out of his seat.
Marry Callie? He’d thought about. Imagined it. Wanted it. “Lily and I are only talking.”
But Jamie didn’t give up. “If you marry Callie she’d be our mother, right?”
“Stepmother,” Lily put in.
Jamie
ignored his sister. “And would she come to school sometimes and work at the canteen, Dad?”
Noah didn’t miss the longing in his son’s voice. Such a small thing. But for a little boy who barely remembered a mother’s love, it was huge. He’d tried his best, but juggling a business and four kids often made it impossible to do the small things. His sisters pitched in, especially Evie, and his mother did what she could. But it wasn’t enough. Who was he kidding? His kids needed a full-time mother.
“Would Callie be our mother, Dad?”
Jamie again, still curious and not put off by Noah’s silence. He tried to maintain casualness. “I guess she would.”
Lily huffed again, louder this time. “Don’t get too excited. We didn’t have any luck getting our real mother to hang around. I can’t see how Callie would be any different.”
Chapter Ten
Callie had no idea that helping Angela Spears select a new pony for her daughter Maddy would end with the teenager taking a tumble from the first horse they looked at. She was relieved that Maddy’s broken arm was the worst of her injuries. She had some superficial grazes on her face but none that would scar. The hot pink cast on her arm was finally wrapped and Callie offered to grab coffee for a fraught Angela while the doctor checked the results of a few cautionary tests, including a head scan.
She headed for the cafeteria and purchased coffee for Angela and a soda for Maddy.
When she returned to Maddy’s room she saw Lily sitting on the edge of the bed, then saw Jamie and the twins perched together on a single chair and Noah talking closely with Angela.
The green-eyed monster reared its ugly head and she pushed the feeling down as swiftly as she could. A blended family—wasn’t that the term used now? Angela was an attractive woman. Noah would be blind not to notice. She was a single mother, he was a single father. A good solution all round—yours, mine and possibly ours one day. Lily and Maddy were best friends. It would be the perfect scenario for Noah’s troubled daughter.
And if Callie had any doubts that she’d fallen in love with Noah—they scattered the moment she realized the feeling coursing across her skin was blind, burning jealousy.
She swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth.
Callie placed the coffee on the table beside the bed. The twins rushed toward her and Callie had no hesitation in accepting their warm hug. Jamie quickly did the same. Only Lily hung back. But the teenager looked at her almost hopefully. And Noah’s eyes grazed over her, from her feet to the roots of her hair. She felt the energy of his stare, felt her skin heat, felt the tiny hairs on the back of her neck come alive.
Angela’s beaming smile didn’t help. “Oh, you’re back,” she said breathlessly. “I was just telling Noah how lucky we were that you were with us today. And it was my fault,” Angela wailed. “But it was so hot. I had no idea the pony would spook over a little umbrella.”
“It happens sometimes,” Callie assured her, fighting her awareness of Noah with all her strength. “Don’t feel bad.”
“Can we still buy the pony?” Maddy asked, still groggy from painkillers.
Angela looked at Callie. “What do you think?”
Callie smiled and turned to the girl in the bed. “How about we wait until your arm is better and try a few more horses out before making a decision?”
Maddy nodded. “Still…” Her voice trailed. “I’d really like my own horse.”
“Me, too,” Lily said and looked at her father. “You promised, remember?”
“I remember,” he said, still looking at Callie. “We’ll see.”
Lily rolled her kohl-lined eyes. “Yeah, I know what that means.” She looked at her friend. “Now you’ve busted your arm I haven’t a chance.”
Angela came across the room and hugged Callie. “Thank you for everything,” she said, her eyes clogged with emotion. “If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know what I would have done. I wouldn’t have known how to splint her arm like that. And the way you knew to keep her warm in case she went into shock.” She shuddered. “I wouldn’t have remembered any of that.”
“I’m glad I could help.”
“Help?” Angela hugged her again. “You were incredible. I’m hopeless in a crisis.”
“Not hopeless,” Callie said gently. “And I have to know basic first aid as part of my license to teach.”
“It didn’t look basic to me. Anyway, I’m so grateful you were there.”
“Well, I’ll get going.” She looked quickly around the room, focusing on Angela. “Are you sure your sister will be coming to pick you up?”
“Oh, yes,” the other woman replied. “You go, please. You’ve done more than enough. And thank you for coming here with us. I know it helped Maddy enormously knowing you were by her side.”
She said goodbye to the kids and then turned without another word, pain slicing through her with every step she took. She made it about thirty feet down the corridor when she heard Noah saying her name. I will not look back. I will not let him see how much I miss him.
“Callie, wait up.”
That stopped her. She inhaled deeply and turned to face him. “What?”
“Are you okay?”
Can’t you see that I’m not? Can’t you see that I’m crazy in love with you? But I can’t come between your family. I won’t.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
He looked into her eyes. “You had a fairly harrowing afternoon.”
“I handled it.”
“So Angela said.”
Angela. Perfect single mother Angela. “Is there something else you want?” she asked and couldn’t believe the sound of her own voice.
“Maddy’s lucky you were there.”
Callie felt prickles of annoyance weave up her spine. “I guess I have my uses.”
He felt the sting of her response because he expelled an almost weary breath. “I just wanted to say…that it’s…it’s good to see you.”
“I have to go,” she said quickly and pulled her keys from her pocket. “I’ve got a student this afternoon,” she lied.
He went to say something and then stopped. “Yeah, sure.”
Her heart felt like it was going to burst. I will not fall apart in front of him. “Goodbye, Noah.”
She turned before he could say anything and walked purposefully down the corridor.
By the time she’d returned to Sandhills Farm it was nearly two o’clock. Joe was there, wheeling a barrow of soiled manure from the stables when she pulled up. He asked about Maddy and she gave him a condensed version of what had happened.
“Saddle up Indy for me, will you?” she asked. “The Western saddle please. I’m going for a long ride.”
Callie rode toward Crystal Point, through the cane fields, past sweet potato farmers cultivating their crops. She rode past the local primary school, took a trail toward the river and lingered by the boat ramp for a while, eating the sandwich and water she’d packed in her saddle bag while Indy happily grazed on Rhodes grass.
I’m such a fool. For years she’d frozen herself off from feeling anything. And then along came Noah and his incredible kids and suddenly she felt like she was all feelings. All want. All need. But she hurt, too. And she didn’t know how to stop the hurt…or how to stop loving Noah.
It was past five when she returned home, and it was an hour later when she headed for the house after strapping Indy down, returning her tack to the stables and locking the gelding into his stall. By seven o’clock, once the animals were all fed and bedded down for the night, Callie had showered, put on a pair of sweats and sat on the sofa with her laptop to check her email. One from her brother, Scott, made her smile and she was just about to hit the reply button when she heard a car pull up outside.
He’s here.
&nbs
p; She knew it somehow. Felt it deep down. Tessa barked and Callie quickly made her way to the front door and flicked on the porch light. She opened the door.
It was Noah.
He stood beneath the light. “Hey.” He looked so good in jeans and a white golf shirt. Her heart lurched in her chest. “I probably should have called first.”
Callie crossed her arms, determined to be strong. “Why didn’t you?”
“I thought you might hang up.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Can we talk?”
She opened the screen door and waited until he’d crossed the threshold before closing both doors. “What did you want to talk about?” she asked once they’d moved into the living room.
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to…I wanted…”
Callie didn’t move as she pushed her emotions down. “What?”
He let out an exasperated breath. “I don’t really know. I let Lily stay with Maddy, and after I left the hospital I dropped the kids off at my parents. For the past two hours I’ve been driving around, thinking, trying to get things right in my head.”
“What things?” she asked quietly.
He swallowed. “Us. The kids. Why I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Callie’s knees gave up and she sat on the edge of the sofa. “It’s the same for me,” she admitted.
He came forward and stood a couple of feet from her. “So, what are we going to do about it?”
Callie shrugged. “Nothing’s changed, Noah.”
“You’re right about that.”
“You’d really be better off with someone else,” she heard herself say. Stupid words. Words to cover the feelings coursing through her blood.
“Someone else?”
She shrugged. “Like Angela,” she said, although her voice cracked and she knew he’d heard it. “She’s a single parent, she obviously loves kids—she’d make you a good match.”
“I’m not interested in Angela Spears,” he said quietly.