by Helen Lacey
“We just left Evie’s.”
“Well, your parents? Or Mary-Jayne?” she suggested, trying to sound hopeful. “Call them.”
He did that while Callie questioned Jamie, but he said he had no idea where she was. However, he did say he’d noticed her big backpack was missing and her iPod.
“No luck,” he said after a few minutes. “I’ll try her cell.”
It was switched off. Angela called for Maddy and the teenager came toward them swiftly. She stood in front of her mother, wide-eyed, as if sensing the adults around her were on high alert.
“Madison,” Angela said quietly. “Do you know where Lily is?”
“I—um…”
“Maddy?” Noah’s voice, calm, deep. “Please…where is she?”
Maddy’s eyes filled with tears. “I told her not to,” she said. “I said she shouldn’t do it. But she wouldn’t listen to me.”
“What do you mean, Madison?” Angela again, in formidable mother mode.
“When she didn’t come to school today I knew she had really done it.” Maddy took a huge gulp of air. “She’s gone.”
Gone. Callie’s stomach sank. She clutched Noah’s arm instinctively.
Noah took a heavy breath. “Where’s she gone, Maddy?”
Maddy swallowed, looked to the ground, then back at her mother and clearly knew she had little choice but to tell the truth. “Paris.”
Callie was certain their hearts stopped beating. Angela looked like she would hyperventilate. Noah paled when the reality of it hit him.
“How’s she getting there?” he asked evenly, but Callie wasn’t fooled. He was out of his mind with worry.
Tears flowed down Maddy’s check. “She caught the train to Brisbane this morning. She said she was going to buy a ticket at the airport.”
“Surely she wouldn’t be able to do that,” Angela said, all wide-eyed. “Oh, this is bad, this is—”
“Does she have a passport?” Callie asked, cutting off Angela.
Noah nodded. “Yeah. I took the kids to Hawaii last year.”
“Why Paris?” Angela asked.
Callie looked at Noah. She knew why, as he did. But it was Maddy Spears who spoke.
“She wants to see her mother.”
Callie got Noah into the house so they could make the appropriate telephone calls. She settled the kids in the kitchen with a snack and returned to the living room. Angela left with Maddy, but insisted she’d do whatever was needed to help.
Noah was on the phone, obviously to Cameron by the cryptic conversation. When he hung up he called Evie and instructed her to fill their parents in on the details. “Cameron’s going to get her picture to the airport security,” he said when he’d hung up.
“That should help,” she said. “Is there anything I can do?”
He nodded. “Watch the kids. I have to get to the city as fast as I can,” he said. He unclipped his keys and left one by the telephone. “House key,” he said. “They’d probably prefer to sleep in their own beds.”
Callie didn’t hesitate to agree. “I’ll take them home soon. You just…go…and call me when you know anything.”
“Thanks.” He ran a hand across his face. “This is my fault,” he said. “I should have paid more attention. She’s been quiet since…”
“Since she saw you here last week?”
He nodded and Callie saw the concern in his eyes. She knew what he was thinking, fearing. There were dangers in the big city, people who did bad things, predators waiting to pounce on a naïve young girl from a small town. She rallied instead. “She’ll be fine. And she’ll be found before you know it.” She took a few steps toward him and placed her hands on his chest. “You have to believe that, Noah. For your own peace of mind.”
She hugged him close and then watched as he drove off, waiting until she saw the taillights fade before she closed the door. The kids were relaxed enough in her company that they barely questioned their father’s quick departure. Jamie talked to her about Lily, though, and because he was such a sensitive child she tried to put his fears at ease the best she could.
She left Joe to bed the horses down for the night, packed a small overnight bag, collected the children and Tessa and took them home.
Noah drove faster than he should have. A flight would have been sensible, but none would have gotten him to Brisbane airport in better time. Thankful that he had a full tank of gas, he drove straight through the four-and-a-half-hour trip without stopping. It was nine-thirty when he raced into the international terminal. He headed directly for airport security and, despite his impatience, was appreciative of their assistance.
“We have her picture here,” a female officer told him. “But so far no one matching this description has shown up.”
“Her train got in hours ago,” Noah told them. “She has to be here somewhere.”
“She can’t pass this point unless she has a ticket,” she assured him.
“Is there any chance she might get one?” he asked, his heart pumping.
“No,” the officer said confidently. “The airlines are not in the habit of allowing minors to purchase tickets. You could try the domestic terminal,” she said. “If she’s resourceful enough, she could think it easier to try for a ticket to Sydney and then perhaps catch a connecting flight.”
Noah’s head felt like it was about to burst. “I’ll go and check.” He handed her a business card. “If she turns up here, please call me.”
He jumped into a taxi to get to the domestic terminal and once there was scanned by a handheld metal detection device before a uniformed officer led him through. There were plenty of travelers about, browsing the shops; some were sitting in the departure lounges. Noah couldn’t see Lily. Panic rose like bile in his throat. What if she wasn’t here? What if something had already happened to her? Perhaps she never made it off the train.
He continued his search, checking cafés and a few of the stores that might appeal to a thirteen-year-old girl. He checked every one, showed her picture to as many sales assistants as he could and found some relief when one told him she looked a little familiar.
Fifteen minutes later he was almost out of his mind. He stopped by the escalators and looked up and down the long terminal while the security officer left to check the washrooms. Then just when his hope faded, he noticed a girl, standing alone, looking out of the observation window at the farthest end of the terminal. She had her back to him, and her hair was brown… Not Lily.
Noah turned to walk back to the main departure lounge but stopped. He had another look, longer this time. And suddenly his feet were moving toward her. Something about the way she held her shoulders, the angle of her head as she gazed out toward the runway and watched the departing aircraft niggled at him. The departure gates at this end of the terminal were all shut down for the night and she seemed oddly out of place in her solitude.
He kept walking, faster until he was almost at a jog. He halted about thirty feet from her. He noticed details within seconds. She wore a denim skirt and white top. Lily only wore black. And the hair—wrong color completely. And the shoes—not her trademark Doc Martens, but bright pink flip-flops with sequins sewn on them.
But there was a backpack at her feet. Lily’s backpack. “Lily?”
She turned and Noah’s jaw nearly dropped to his feet. No dark makeup, no piercings, just his daughter’s beautiful face staring at him.
“Dad!”
Noah wasn’t sure what to expect from her. He didn’t have to wait long. She ran toward him and threw herself against him with a sturdy thump. I have my kid. She’s safe.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” she choked the words into his shoulder.
“It’s okay.” Noah touched her hair. “You scared me to death, Lily.”
; “I know…I’m so sorry.”
“Come and sit down,” he said to Lily.
She sat in one of the chairs and Noah retrieved her backpack.
“You travel light,” he said, dropping it at her feet. He sat down beside her. “What are you doing here?”
She shrugged and inhaled a shaky breath. “I’m not sure.”
“Maddy said you were going to find your mother,” he said, gently because he sensed that was all she could cope with. “Is that true?”
Another shrug, this time accompanied by tears. “No. Yes.”
Noah felt her pain right through to his bones. “Why now?”
“I wanted to ask her something.”
Noah held his breath for a moment. “Do you know where she lives?”
Lily shook her head.
“How did you plan to find her once you got to Paris?” he asked.
She dropped her gaze. “I’ve got Grandma’s address.”
Noah could only imagine what seventy-four-year-old Leila would think about having Lily turn up at her door. “So what did you want to ask your mother?”
She shrugged again. “What we did. What I did.”
“What you did?”
“To make her not want us.”
Noah sighed and chose his words carefully. “You didn’t do anything, Lily. Your mother was unhappy. And she didn’t want to be married to me. But you,” he took her hand and squeezed. “You didn’t do anything. I promise.”
“It feels like she left because of me. I mean, it couldn’t have been the others—they were little. And everyone loves little kids.”
“It wasn’t you,” he said again, firmer this time. “Lily, is this really about your mother, or is it Callie?”
Lily looked at him. Her bottom lip quivered and her gaze fell to the floor.
“Are you afraid she’ll try to replace your mother?” he asked gently.
Lily turned her face into his shoulder and sobbed against him. “That’s just it, Dad,” she said brokenly. “I really want her to be replaced. Sometimes I forget what she’d looked like. Jamie doesn’t even remember her—it’s like she never existed.”
“She did exist,” Noah said, holding her. “You’re proof of that.”
Lily hiccupped. “But she left. We weren’t enough for her. None of us. If she didn’t love us enough to stay…why would someone else? She had to love us, and even that wasn’t enough. And Callie, well, she wouldn’t have to love us, would she? So I thought if I just asked her what made her leave, I could make sure it didn’t happen again so that Callie…so that Callie wouldn’t leave us, too.”
Noah felt pain rip through his chest. Pain for the child he held in his arms. And he understood, finally. Lily’s fears weren’t that another woman would come into their life and try to replace the mother she knew. She was afraid another woman might leave them in the same painful fashion.
He pulled back and made her look at him. “You know, Lily, there are no guarantees in any relationship. But if you trust me—you’ll trust that I’ll always do what’s right by you and your sister and brothers.”
“I do trust you, Dad,” she said, hugging him. “I love you.”
“I love you too, kid.”
“I’m sorry I ran off,” she said, smiling now, even though tears remained in her eyes. “I know you were worried. But I don’t think I would have gotten on the plane. I was standing here before, thinking about you and Jamie and the twins and Aunt Evie and everyone else, and thought I’d miss everyone so much if I left. And I’d miss Maddy and Callie and Samson.”
Emotion closed his throat. “And I’d miss you, Lily.”
“Besides,” she said with a sniff, “it’s my birthday next week.”
Enough said. “Okay. How about we get out of here?”
She reached for her backpack. “So, Dad, you haven’t said what a dork I look like.”
He ruffled her hair. “I think you look pretty.”
She laughed. “Well, the hair’s pretty cool…but these shoes have gotta go.”
Callie spent the night in Noah’s bed, wrapped up in the sheets, secure and safe. It was a lovely room. The huge bed was covered in a quilt in neutral beige and moss green, and the timber walls and silky oak furnishings were rich and warm.
He called her just before ten o’clock and told her that he’d found Lily and they were on their way home. He told her not to wait up and she hung up the telephone, missing him, craving him and feeling relieved he’d found his daughter.
Her heart went out to Lily. To all the kids. And to Noah. Being in his house, sleeping in his bed…it made their relationship seem very real. Perhaps for the first time since they’d met. And the responsibility of what that meant weighed heavily. Accepting the children into her heart was only a part of it. First her heart, then her life. Saying goodbye to Ryan was the first step.
But then what?
She’d return to Sandhills and everything would still be there, waiting for her.
Including Noah.
Only, a niggling thought lingered in the back of her mind. What if she couldn’t say goodbye to her son? What if it was too much, too hard, too…everything. What then? Could she come back and face Noah and the kids, knowing she’d break their hearts into tiny pieces? Bathing the kids, dressing them in their pajamas, laughing over a botched dinner of grilled cheese and cookies had been wonderful. And she enjoyed their company so much. But there was doubt, too. And fear that she wouldn’t measure up. They would expect all of her. An expectation they deserved. Did she have enough left inside herself for all that love?
Later that night, with the kids all tucked into their beds, Tessa locked in the laundry room and Harry guarding the front porch, Callie drifted into sleep.
She was quickly dreaming. Dreaming about Noah, about strong arms and warm lips and gentle hands. She could feel his touch; feel the love in his fingertips as he caressed her back and hips. Callie stretched her limbs, feeling him, wanting him.
And then the dream suddenly wasn’t a dream. It was real. She was in his arms, pressed against his chest. “You’re here,” she murmured into his throat. “You’re home. I’m glad. Lily—”
“Shhhh,” he said against her hair. “Lily’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
When Callie awoke a couple of hours later she could hear the rhythmic sound of the bedside clock and Noah’s steady breathing. He lay on his stomach, his face turned away from her. She touched his back, rested her hand on him for a few moments and then slipped out of bed as quietly as she could.
When she padded downstairs a few minutes later she heard young voices whispering. The twins were awake, still in their beds but chatting to each other. Jamie emerged as though he had some kind of adult radar and quickly said he was hungry. Lily’s door was still closed and Callie knew she’d still be sleeping. Breakfast was as hit-and-miss as dinner the night before, but the kids didn’t complain. She gave them cereal and put on a pot of coffee and when they were done Callie herded them back to their rooms with instructions to stay quiet for at least another hour.
When she returned to the upstairs bedroom Noah was lying on his side with his eyes open. She closed the door softly and sat on the bed. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
He sighed wearily. “It was a long night.”
“You should have stayed over and driven back this morning.”
“I needed to get back.”
“The kids were fine. Another few hours wouldn’t have made any difference.”
He looked at her. “Okay, I wanted to get back. As for them being fine,” he said quietly and reached for her hand, “I knew they would be.” He kissed her wrist and turned her hand over and kissed her knuckles. “In fact, I can’t remember the last time the house was so quiet in the morning
.”
She smiled. “They’re under strict instructions to be as quiet as mice for the next hour.”
“What about you—don’t you have to get back to your horses?”
“Joe will see to them this morning.” She touched his face with her free hand. “How’s Lily?”
“She’s okay. She slept most of the drive home. We had a good talk about things. I think she’ll be fine.”
Callie had to ask what she feared. “Did she do this because of me? Because of us?”
“Not in the way you might think.” He held her hand firm and told her how Lily was feeling. “You know, she’s more like you than you realize.”
Callie’s breath caught in her throat. “In what way?”
Noah smiled lightly. “Impulsive. Sometimes hardheaded. But…extraordinary.” He kissed her hand again. “I thought that the first time I met you. Those beautiful eyes of yours were glaring at me from under that big hat.” He sighed. “It blew me away.”
He shifted and raised himself up. Callie looked at his bare chest and then lower to where the sheet slipped past his hips and flat stomach. Her fingers suddenly itched with the need to touch, to feel, to taste.
“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll forget how tired I am.”
She colored hotly. What was she thinking? He’d just driven practically ten hours straight and she was leering at him. “You’re right,” she said and hopped off the bed. “You should hit the shower and have some breakfast when you’ve had enough sleep. I’ll make sure the twins get to daycare and Jamie gets to school.”
Callie sucked in a breath. She had to tell him now. Before she lost her nerve. Before they were any more involved. His name escaped from her lips.
He smiled again and kept his eyes closed. “Hmm.”
She took a steadying breath, pushed out some courage and told him of her plans.
“You’re going where?” he asked and pulled himself up.
“Los Angeles.”
His eyes glittered, narrowing as he took in her words. “Why?” he asked. “Why now?”