When Jaycee and Rachel showed up after lunch at two, Dani took the case of samples from Jaycee. “You should not be carrying that.”
“That’s what I told her,” Rachel said.
“Come on, guys. I really am feeling a lot better.” Jaycee followed them into the house. “In fact, I think I’m going to go with Derek back out to Phoenix on Monday.”
“Oh, Jayc,” Dani said. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? That’s a couple of plane rides and hotels.”
Jaycee laughed. “Now you sound like Derek.”
When they got into the house, Caleb and Eric came over to join them, Eric’s camera slung at his hip. He really needed to stop doing things like that Dani thought as her cheeks flamed to life. He was starting to remind her why she had fallen for him so hard all those years before.
“What about Derek?” Caleb asked.
With a quick shake of her head, Jaycee shrugged and planted her arms around herself. “He’s flying in tonight. He should be here about nine or so.”
“How’s Phoenix going?” Caleb asked, and the worry sounded with no disguising it.
She sighed. “They got a temp assistant.” A laugh and an eye roll. “I think he’s getting more thankful for me every day.”
“Well, he’d better,” Rachel said with an edge to the statement. “He can’t be that dumb, can he?”
Jaycee laughed, and Dani could tell she actually was feeling much better even than the night before. “Let’s hope not.”
Designing took longer than Dani had realized it would, between that and the ten texts she had gotten from her mother, the day had flown by. In fact, they had planned to make it back to the farm to work on finishing the furniture pieces, but that didn’t happen. So, at seven, Eric and Dani headed out to Sage’s to collect Jaden who’d spent the day with Livvie and Macy. It was truly crazy how fruit-basket-turnover being in Ridgemount felt. Jaden could spend the day with any one of four families, and everyone seemed so happy to have her.
“I love it here,” Dani said, gazing out to the trees as they crossed from their side of Ridgemount over to the side where Sage and Luke along with Jaycee, Derek, and Greg and Emily lived. Why did all of this suddenly feel so much like home?
Eric’s hand came over and covered hers, his fingers wrapping over and into hers. She didn’t pull away. In fact, she was beginning to remember all the things she had so loved about his hands. She took in a long breath, let it out, and glanced over at him. How had she gotten so lucky to get him? Stable. Kind. Hard-working. Handsome as a midnight sky on a cool summer evening. He was everything every girl fantasized about when she dreamed of Prince Charming.
“I hope Jaden had a good day.” Dani put her head back on the headrest and let her gaze drape over him and rest there. “She loves Livvie so much even though she’s younger.”
“I’m sure she did.”
They pulled up to Sage’s, and it looked like every light in the little farmhouse was on. Warm. Inviting. Cozy. Just the place you wanted to be invited to. Getting out, Dani noticed without thinking about it that nothing here looked shiny or at all new. The house wasn’t brick. The few other buildings on the property were in need of minor repairs and a coat or two of paint. There was no homeowner’s association coming to measure the grass or complain about an extra vehicle in the driveway. They just lived. It was becoming a nice concept in her world.
At the back door, Eric took her hand, knocked once and went on in.
“You aren’t going to…?” she started to ask.
“Hello,” he called to the residents beyond, and before they got to the little kitchen, they heard the kids.
Happy. It was the word that jumped into her mind when she heard them.
“Hello!” Eric called again just as Sage came racing in to check on dinner, which was in four pots on the stove.
“Oh, great,” she said with no pretense. “Y’all made it. Luke should be here any minute. He got called out on a fire.”
“A fire?” Dani asked in concern.
“Yeah. Just a little one I think. Grass fire, probably some idiot threw a cigarette out.” Sage closed the pan and turned the burner down. “Jaden! Your mom and dad are here! Why don’t you show them what we’ve been making?” She banged another lid closed and swiped her hands on her jeans. “Sorry. It’s just been crazy around here. Boys! Get washed up for dinner. We’re going to eat as soon as Dad gets here!”
About that time, Jaden followed by the two younger girls came into the kitchen, her hands filled with cloth of every color.
Sage stepped over to the table. “Come here. Let’s lay them out so they can see.”
Not understanding, they went over to the table to join the little group.
“Well, what do we have here?” Eric asked.
When all the pieces were laid out, Jaden tipped her head so her ear was nearly on her shoulder. The top half of her swiveled back and forth as shyness came over her. “I was learning to sew.”
“Sew?” Dani asked in shock. “You did these?”
Her daughter nodded. “Miss Sage helped.”
“Just a little on some of the curves,” Sage said quickly. “But the designs are all Jaden.”
Basically they were just scraps of different kinds of cloth sewn together, but the designs and color combinations were fascinating. Dani went closer and fingered a couple of them. “How?”
Next to her, she felt Sage gauging her reaction. “I upcycle a lot of the girls’ clothes. I get them from a consignment place in Greely, and we pretty them up.” She waved her hand over the collection. “When I go to a fabric store or see some ribbon I just can’t pass up, I get it. I have a ton of it. Too much if you ask Luke. But I think Ja has a real knack for it. She’s got a good eye, and she’s so creative.”
“I’ll say.” Dani picked up one that was lace on top of a navy blue satin. “I love this one.”
“That’s a little of the fabric from Jaycee’s wedding and some lace Jaden fell in love with.”
“I can see why. It’s so pretty.” Dani laid that one down and selected another. “So do you quilt or make stuff?”
“No on the quilting. I tried that once, but the piecing thing made me squirrelly. No mostly I just add ribbon or lace to vests or dresses.” She shrugged. “Easy stuff.”
However, Dani’s face scrunched. “Not easy. I took sewing in high school and stunk at it. Then I tried to help a friend sew a shirt one time because I thought the high school class thing was a fluke. I think it ended up in the trash it was so bad. We never did figure out how to put sleeves on the thing.”
“Well, it is a skill,” Sage said with a laugh just as the back door banged closed. “Oh, good. Luke’s home. We’d better get this table set.”
Just like that Jaden was gathering her work up.
“Why don’t you bring those with us tonight?” Dani said. “I want to look at them a little more.”
“Okay,” Jaden said.
Across the kitchen Sage and Luke had a quick conversation, and Dani could smell the smoke he brought in with him.
“Hey,” Luke said, coming over to shake Eric’s hand. “I’ll just be a few minutes, and we can eat.”
“Oh.” At that Dani realized they were expecting them to stay. “You don’t have to feed us, Sage. We were going to…”
“No. Now I know Dad and Em went to that company thing of his tonight,” Sage said. “You all stay. We haven’t had any time to visit.”
Dani looked at Eric who looked at her and shrugged almost without moving. One thing Dani had learned about these people is they didn’t take no for an answer. “Okay. Fine. We’ll stay, but we will help set the table.”
After everyone had eaten, Dani and Sage sent the others off to the living room as they worked cleaning the dishes. There had been a time when Dani would have resented that. This was not that time.
“So,” Sage said. “I hear Attabury is turning out amazing. Rachel is so happy about it.”
“We’re beyond happy. I
can’t believe how great it is.” Dani put the plates into the dishwasher. “I can honestly say I never thought I’d like Ridgemount so much. I just love being here.”
“Oh? You didn’t think you would like it?”
“Yeah, well. I guess you hear enough bad stories about a place, you start believing them without any real proof of anything.”
“Bad, like what?” Sage asked, scraping out the last of the potato pan.
“Oh, you know, my mom and dad. Neither one had much use for Ridgemount.”
“Your mom is…?”
“Ms. P’s daughter. Elise is her name. My dad was from over in Virginia. They met at a peace rally. The way Mom always told it, they met, fell in love, and were married in like a month. I always thought it sounded romantic, but I don’t think Grandma and Grandpa were too excited about the idea.”
“Bet not.” Sage washed a pan and set it in the other sink. “It’s so funny. When I was young, that would have been such an amazing story, but now, if Livvie tried that, I think Luke would have a heart attack.”
Dani laughed. “I think Eric would nail the doors and windows shut to keep Jaden from it.” She shrugged. “So I understand it. And now I probably think they were right.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“Oh, you know, my mom and dad aren’t together anymore. Dad… well, he just got remarried to his secretary, and Mom’s really struggling with it.”
“Ugh. Parent issues.” Sage nodded. “Been there, still doing that. They are the worst.” She swirled the rag around the pan once more and transferred it as well. “Like my mom. It’s so hard knowing what to do or even if to do something. I mean with her being all the way out in California and all…”
“Cali…?” Dani started the question before she thought about it, and part of it was out before she realized she shouldn’t ask.
However, Sage just smiled with a tiny laugh. “Did you not know Em isn’t my mom?”
Only then did Dani notice Sage didn’t say mom. She always said Em. “Uh, no. I think I missed that one.” The wheels ground into motion in her brain. “But you and Jaycee…?”
“Half-sisters. My dad. My mom.” Sage held up one hand and then the other. “My dad. Jaycee’s mom. Long story.”
“Oh, wow. I never knew that.”
“Took a long time and a lot of tears to get to the point it was just us.” She put both hands together.
Dani took in the story, nodding. There was one point she wanted to ask, but she didn’t want to dredge up skeletons and ghosts. “And you said your mom…?” Quickly she backtracked. “I only ask because my mom… Well, with the divorce and everything. It’s been a really rough time for her.”
Dragging another pot into the water, Sage tipped her head. “Oh, yeah. I know rough times with parents better than I know my own name.” She laughed before growing more somber. “My mom lives out in California, if you can call the way she does it living. When her marriage to Jason broke up, she pretty much lost it, went off the deep end, gave up. However you want to say it. She decided to drown herself in a wine bottle, and I’m not sure she’s ever come out again.”
The story hit like a punch to Dani. “Oh, wow, Sage. I had no idea. But how… how do you…?”
Sage’s smile was small. “Day by day. I just have to keep putting her in Jesus’s hands because I know I can’t fix what’s broken in her life.” She put that pan into the second sink and started wiping down the cabinets. “We’ve gone out there to see her a couple of times over the years, but she’s…” Putting her head down, Sage sniffed softly. “She blames everybody else for what went wrong in her life. My dad. Jason. Me.”
Compassion overtook Dani’s heart, chasing out the words.
“I’ve really had to learn that my Rock, my Savior has to be Jesus. It’s not that I can’t count on anyone else. I love my dad and Em and Jaycee and Ryder. And of course, Luke and the kids. But I think the cliff my mom went off of was trying to make someone out there be who determined if she was all right ‘in here.’ When she was with Jason, she was somebody. When he left, she didn’t just lose him, I really think she lost herself. I was like that too. When she sent me out here to live with my dad, I almost lost who I was, but when I found God, and He gave me the understanding of who I am, and as long as I have that, the outside is just the outside. What's happening out there—with my mom or my dad or Luke or Jaycee or the kids—it matters, but it doesn’t determine my worth anymore, if that makes any sense.”
“So Luke?” Dani asked, trying to grasp the impossible.
“I love Luke with all my heart, but I’m not going to lie. There are times we don’t see eye-to-eye. There are times he makes decisions I don’t agree with. There are times I have to know in myself that God loves me, and that’s enough.”
“And your mom?”
Sage let out a breath. “It’s like Pastor Steve always says, her happiness is not my responsibility. I’m not going to tell you that’s an easy thing to live because a lot of times it’s not. But her happiness is between her and God. I can’t change her. I can’t fix life for her. All I can do is pray for her and love her as much as possible. The rest is up to her.”
On the way out to Greg’s, Dani’s mind was still processing her day and especially the conversation with Sage when yet another text from her mother came in on her phone. Fighting the sigh as she lifted the screen, already knowing it would be depressing, she hit the button and read it. Unfortunately she was right. Angst and bitterness. It was becoming difficult not to let it drag her down.
“You are so lucky,” she said, voicing her frustration to someone for the first time. All day she had thought she could deal with it, keep it from boiling over insider her. Especially after her conversation with Sage, she had tried to put it in God’s hands, but this was getting plain ridiculous.
“Oh, yeah? How’s that?” Eric asked, flipping his gaze over to her.
“Well, at least you got a sane Mom. I think I’ve gotten like fifteen texts today from mine today. She’s driving me crazy. I don’t even know what to tell her anymore.”
He half-shrugged. “Not going to lie. I’m glad you’re back. I wasn’t sure what to do about her while you were gone.” He glanced over at her. “She’s hurting. Hurting people hurt people.”
“Well, she’s definitely driving us all nuts. Mitchell called earlier because she’s blowing up his phone too. All day and at night too. I told him to shut the thing off, but he said he can’t because he uses it for an alarm.” She laughed softly. “I told him they were eight dollars at the JiffyMart, and at this rate, it would be a wise investment.”
Eric joined in her laugh, glancing her way again.
Dani sighed and shook her head. “She’s just so bitter about everything. And part of me doesn’t blame her, but then I think back to when I lost the spelling bee and got turned down from Princeton. She was like, ‘Just get over it, Danisha. Move on. Quit moping around.’ I can’t say I haven’t thought about telling her the same thing.”
This glance was much longer. “Have you thought about praying for her?”
When she exhaled, it was not a sigh. “That’s what Sage said.” Dani shook her head. “I don’t know, does prayer even work?”
For a long moment he didn’t move more than to guide the vehicle through the turn onto the dirt road. His glance over at her held questions she couldn’t read.
“What?” she finally asked as he turned again and bumped into the Lawrences’ driveway. “What was that look for?”
Before he said anything, he parked, shut off the SUV, but didn’t move. Putting his head down, he breathed very, very softly in the quiet surrounding them. Another long second and his gaze came over to hers. “I wasn’t going to tell you this.”
Panic lit into her soul at the look in his eyes.
“I thought it would be better if I just kept it between me and God. But you asked, so here we go.” His gaze never lifted from his hands in the darkness. “When we first bought Attabury.” The wor
ds were painfully slow and said with great delicacy. “When we first came here.” A moment and his gaze came over to embrace hers. “I wasn’t sure how much longer this thing with us would even last.”
Guilt wove through the jab of ache in her heart, making it really hard to breathe.
“I felt like we were just going through the motions, and it wasn’t getting any better.” It was a struggle for him to hold her gaze. “Honestly I thought I’d fallen out of love with you.” He sniffed and brushed at his nose. “I know that’s a horrible thing to say, but that’s honestly where I was with it. And then I came here, and I started talking with Greg and Caleb and the others. Not about us, but about… I don’t know… about life and God and things. They started telling me about praying… for you, for us, for things that were out of my control. At first, I can’t really say I bought into it, but I have seen it work with my own eyes. I’ve felt the difference it makes in me. It hasn’t fixed everything, and maybe it can’t. But I think what it really fixed was me. I’m different, and because I’m different, I see things differently. I see now that it’s okay for you to be where you are. You don’t have to be this way or that way for me to be okay. I can be okay with myself and with God, and I can pray for you to find that same peace. Does that make any sense at all?”
Remarkably it did because it was exactly what she had felt. “You know, I always thought I was supposed to make you happy, and I had started to realize I couldn’t. I ran and ran and ran, and you were never any happier than when I started. Then it started to be…. different. At first, bad different, but eventually, good different.”
He nodded. “I’ve seen the difference… in you. Like with this whole job thing.”
“I was so worried when I called you,” she said with a small laugh. “I just knew you were going to go ballistic, but you didn’t. You were just like, ‘Okay, then God has a different plan.’ And I have to be honest, at first I was like, ‘Whaaaat? What is this?’ But now…” She shrugged. “I’m kind of liking not having to have every single minute planned out and executed the way I think it should be. Like tonight, I was planning on coming back here and fixing something to eat, but Sage wanted us to stay.”
Raising Attabury: A Contemporary Christian Epic-Novel (The Grace Series Book 5) Page 41