by Noah Harris
Their roads had divided, leaving Barry with two options. On the one hand, he could try to traverse the world himself with reckless abandon. He would throw all caution to the wind and charge out into the possible face of danger without a second thought. He would then have to try to find his way back with very limited supplies and struggle on his way home. The ocean would churn and splash, letting him travel adrift for days perhaps, in the endless blue abyss. With a small amount of luck on his side, he would make it back to the shores of his homeland and continue on with his life, as the man he now knew he was. With an even smaller amount of luck, he would die swiftly and painlessly instead of going mad with dehydration or starvation.
On the other hand, there was Xanathen. The days went by quickly on the island, with Xanathen at his side. He tingled as he thought of waking up in his arms and kissing him on the cheek, coyly suggesting they do something with his morning wood. The food was bountiful and the scenery eternally peaceful. They could lie about the island for the rest of their days in never ending bliss as they caressed each other on the beach and made love from dawn to dusk. The pleasures would be endless, as they had been already. These earthly pleasures were held securely in Xanathen’s large, firm hands, and they were offered openly to Barry for the taking. He would never have to worry about anything again.
He gazed softly at Xanathen as he lay across from him, his heart melting as he watched him. A tender smile flickered on Barry’s face as he looked on. Even as a dragon, large and scaly, Barry couldn’t look away. He held his heart tight in his claws and Barry knew he could never get it back. He stood up and quietly strode over to him, placing his hand gently on his snout, with a loving look in his eyes. Xanathen’s own eyes darted up to him.
“So...I’ve been thinking about what your father said. The whole thing about cliffs and flying? It spoke to me. A lot. I feel like that’s how I’ve always wanted to live my life. If I can’t have a challenge to overcome, what point is there to life? I need to go home. And if you leave, you’ll get attacked. So...we’re at a crossroads here and I have picked my path.”
Xanathen’s eyes bulged a little as he looked at Barry, whose eyes had filled to the brim with tears. He looked longingly at Xanathen, while two tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. He wiped his eyes and planted a long, warm kiss on the tip of Xanathen’s snout.
“Thank you. For everything, Xanathen. You have changed my life,” Barry said, with a quivering voice, tears now streaming down his cheeks.
Xanathen bolted upright in a startled panic, wings extending out with a solid ‘fwoosh’ as he looked down at his lover. Barry stood right at his feet like before, taking one last look before he stepped outside the cave. The dragon’s eyes narrowed as he began to panic, his head lowering down as he cried out in a state of surprise, with an echo of pain in his voice.
“What?! You can’t leave!”
“I have to, Xanathen. I’ll always treasure this, and you, but we both have different things we wanna do with our lives.”
“You’ll get devoured out there!”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he said, shaking his head. “If I die, at least I’ll die trying.”
“No, NO! You can’t!” he shouted, as Barry began to take steps back towards the exit of the cavern. “I forbid you!”
Xanathen’s declaration rang loudly throughout the cavern, punctuated by the heavy silence that followed. The two stared at each other with unblinking eyes. Xanathen was seething in panic and fury, letting smoke billow from his nostrils like a flaming inferno. While he rocked back and forth on his claws, letting his tail swing wildly around, Barry stood firmly in place like the pillars around him. His only movement, his eyes that blinked constantly, trying somehow to stem the tide of tears that poured freely. He shook his head as the room around them trembled, the vibrations not even phasing him as he was bounced about. Xanathen stopped, tears filling his golden eyes to the brim as he mentally begged Barry not to go.
“I’ll always love you. Please don’t forget about me,” Barry said finally, with a tear-soaked smile as he turned and headed out of the cavern. He forced himself not to look back, knowing that would only make it harder. He climbed down the jagged, rocky ledges with precision and care, barely even noticing when he had descended the tall mountain, once so formidable, as his mind focused only on how each step below took him farther away from Xanathen. He reached the bottom by sundown, alone and without fanfare. He couldn’t even look back at the mountain, instead opting to run deeper into the forest, facing the expansive ocean the entire night, as the mournful wails of winds erupted from the mountaintop and shook the earth below. As those winds surrounded him with sad, and weeping howls, Barry cried in solidarity as he stared at the crashing ocean waves.
Chapter 9
With each crash of the ocean, Barry brought himself to work harder and harder on his plan to get off the island. If he had to do it alone, it was as simple as that. Though the howling draconic cries would sometimes echo across the island, Barry would push himself to work harder through the tears and heartache. He felt himself almost drawn to the mountain, even tempted to madly scramble up the jagged rocks to the cavern. There was a part of him that wanted to go back to the cave and lie in Xanathen’s arms, never to leave again.
As he carved his way into the trees, he fought against the desire to give up. He charged onwards as he knocked down trees and carved away until his swollen muscles were sore. Each knock into the wood brought him closer to home. Every ache in his muscles would be worth it when he finally put to sea on his journey home.
He would occasionally feel a creeping sensation of fear crawl down his back as he worked away on his raft. The memories of the howling winds that viciously knocked him and his helicopter into the sea months ago flooded his mind and filled him with a chilling sense of trepidation that would regularly freeze him to the spot. He would stare out at the sea with a distant gaze and wonder what was beyond the dark clouds that hung so low on the horizon. Could it be filled with a bright blue ocean as vibrant as the sky? Would waves as calm as a mid-summer breeze gently carry him to the shore of his home? The ocean seemed to darken as he thought more about it. The waves could grow wild and violent, tossing him deep into the dark salty abyss. In the back of his mind he couldn’t shake the feeling that Xanathen was right, his fate was sealed, and he was doomed to die at the whim of another dragon. All those possibilities filled his mind as he toiled away building his raft.
As he thought about these possibilities, he took the same approach he did to most problems in his life. If a problem came up, he would attend to it then and there. He would do his best to avoid them or find a way through, but he felt inside that he couldn’t just sit idly by and do nothing for the rest of his life. He was a man of adventure that thrived on thinking in the moment, and found the thrill of taking a considered risk to be more than worth it.
He stopped as he thought again about the overwhelming threat of death that would loom over him out on the ocean, as he lived on the raft that he was currently still building. Would it really be worth it to throw himself out there, facing the ocean alone? Was anything worth that much effort and risk?
Shaking his head, he hurled himself back into his work. In the Coast Guard he knew there were always risks in what he did. He was trained well and was confident in his ability to perform under pressure in critical situations. By now he was well aware that his actions always had potential consequences and that the world wasn’t as safe as it seemed. He had grown well-accustomed to the idea that he could die at any moment. Now, he knew he had things to do at home, people to save and skies to soar, on his own. Despite how his heart ached from leaving Xanathen behind, and the tears that flowed down his cheeks, he had to believe it would all be worth it in the end.
Barry’s fit body held out against the grueling force required to finish his task, and even his hands grew shaky, exhausted from the effort, but at last the raft stood completed on the beach. It was filled with f
ood and equipment ready for the trip, prepared for most eventualities Barry could think of. It looked large enough for even one more person to sit comfortably with him. Barry’s eyes drifted back to the looming mountain with a foolishly hopeful wish that maybe his draconic lover would come tearing through the trees and join Barry on his trip. With the howling roar in the distance echoing somberly through the trees and mist, he had the empty feeling that Xanathen had not changed his mind. With a final tear shed and rolling down his cheeks, he waved silently to the tall mountain looming above the island. Pushing the raft deep into the water, he hopped on and paddled away, not looking back for his own sake.
He tore away at the water, letting the paddle push the raft further toward the horizon, letting the sail lay limp. The water rippled with every splash from the oar and parted as the raft drifted through it. He passed the tall obscuring rocks of black that jutted from the water, avoiding them with ease and sailing further towards the grey, murky horizon. Growing mistier with each stroke, the farther out he went the thicker the fog became. Squinting his eyes to see through the fog, he slowed his pace.
Barry had reached the horizon and found himself in the thick of the swirling fog. It glimmered with an almost magical property, surrounding him with wispy clouds of shimmering dust. He paddled slowly in a state of awe as he looked at the world around him. He never dreamed of seeing mist shining like gems all around him. He was astonished by the splendour of it all. Trails of magic swerved past him as he pushed the raft on through. The clouds grew thinner the further he went, the fog beginning to break up as a glaring white light shone beyond it. Shielding his eyes for a moment, he continued to paddle, as the fog broke apart more and more.
When the fog had dissipated and only the blinding light surrounded him, Barry clamped his hands over his eyes, letting the oar hit the raft. He covered his eyes for a minute, then opened his fingers a bit to let the light in gradually, giving time for his eyes to adjust. His vision came back to him and he was greeted by bright azure surrounding him. The sun hung high overhead, shining down on the world below. Barry stood on the raft and took in the sight of it all, feeling an overwhelming excitement beginning to build. The sun hung there like an old friend and he had never been so happy to see it in all his life. For so long now it had been hidden beyond the mist surrounding the island, only peeking through occasionally. Beyond the island’s mist, the sun illuminated the world, providing inspiration for the weary sailor. He laughed in celebration, whooping and hollering atop the empty sea.
Looking back for a moment, then all around, his heart sank as he discovered the island could not be seen. It was almost as if it had never existed, or had vanished into the deep blue sea. Not an ounce of fog could be seen in any direction, as on all sides Barry was surrounded by clear skies and the never-ending ocean, sprawling out to the ends of the horizon.
He was mildly disoriented, adrift in a sea and lacking any landmarks. He needed to go north, but at the moment it was hard to determine where that was. He allowed himself to sit, letting time go by as he watched the sun as it moved across the sky. With some careful consideration, he was able to find his way and resume his journey across the sea.
The ocean stood still, as if happy to have him aboard and sailing. The trip had turned out to be more pleasant than he had originally expected. With each stroke of the paddle he buoyed himself up with enthusiasm as he thought more and more of going home. Each push against the water drew him closer to his goal.
The days passed by and he continued on. Some days required more paddling than others, and eventually a wind began to push at his sail, forcing his boat northward. He glided across the gentle waves, making sure to keep himself hydrated, and rationing his precious supplies. He felt adrenaline rush through him as he bravely navigated himself through the open sea. If he got to shore safely he would surely have an interesting story to tell.
The raft felt very empty, though. There was room for two, but he sat atop the logs alone. The vast span of the ocean—farther than the eye could see in every direction—punctuated just how big the raft felt to him. Barry sat alone on his raft, once more back to the solitude he had grown to resent so much. The world around him seemed so empty and continued to haunt him, emphasizing just how alone he was. The gentle waves rocked the raft, the sound of the water rushing by was his only company in the great open sea.
At times, he would look back and all around himself, hoping to catch a glimpse of the island once more. Or anything, really. But the island had vanished into the ether, never to be seen again. He began to have doubts, wondering whether the island or any of the things he had experienced were even real. Had it all been just a wild dream as he drifted under the water? It had certainly felt real to him. The months he stayed there, the aching of his muscles, it all felt so real. He looked back on the memories of Xanathen’s embraces and those warm lips pressed against his own, and was reassured, remembering just how real it was. The way Xanathen would enter his body and ride him until they both gave out in a flurry of mutual release that he had never felt before, it couldn’t be just a dream. Then again, it was almost so perfect, he began to doubt that something or someone that good could be real.
Shaking off the lingering thoughts of Xanathen, Barry continued to sail on, across the sea. Every once in awhile the moan of the wind would echo across the waves, startling him and he would look around, scouring the area for whatever made the familiar noise. Muscles tense as he clung to the raft, he found himself waiting for something to happen, though nothing ever did. After a time, he would shake his head and dismiss it as his mind playing tricks on him as he sailed alone on the ocean.
Barry rested his head on his knees as he gave a forlorn sigh, the winds beginning to play with strands of his curly hair. He gazed out to the horizon as the sun began its descent. Each day that passed made his chest feel as empty as the sea. The hole continued to grow within him, making the days drag, slowing to a crawl. The feeling of adventure had long worn off as he allowed the winds to take charge of the sail, and thus leaving himself to his thoughts.
He remembered the crooked smile Xanathen would always share with him, baring all of his sharp white teeth. Thoughts of their competitions filled his head and pulled his focus away from the sea around him. He remembered in vivid detail how the sweat would pour down Xanathen’s dark, sculpted body and cascade across his muscles as he lifted whatever was in his path. He tingled as he went back to the feeling of flying on his back through the skies, letting the wind hit his face, his hair streaming behind him. Barry felt his face flush as he mentally put himself back in Xanathen’s arms and nuzzled against his firm chest, burying himself for all eternity in the warmth of his embrace. He would stay there forever if he could, at least in the safety of his own mind. As he felt the wind blow against his skin, he ignored it as he thought of having a moment more against those loving lips.
“Maybe I was wrong,” he said to the open skies, “I should’ve stayed with him.”
The raft continued to sail on, though the skies above began to grow darker. The clouds thickened and clung to each other, looming ominously overhead as they shielded the sun. The winds blew harder, causing the raft to sail faster across the choppy waves that began to form. Water splashed onto the raft and against Barry, snapping him out of his distant lover’s arms and back into the world around him. He gritted his teeth, holding tight to the mast and his remaining supplies as he tried his best to ensure he made it through the squall. With the sea whipping up from the winds, the raft rocked recklessly, hopping up over large waves and crashing hard against the water on the other side.
The howling winds pierced the air, getting louder with a screeching crescendo. Barry cried out in agony at the intense noise, as it enveloped him. He wanted desperately to cover his ears but the need to hold on to the raft made it impossible. His ears swelled with the shrieking pain that pulsed deep into his head, causing the world around him to sway even more violently than before. His knees buckled and he slumped down
to the raft, his arms still clenched tightly around the mast. The winds grew faster and more intense as they came rhythmically in quick gusts. The sky turned black as the clouds clung closer, building more and more. The gusts gained in strength as another screeching howl pierced through the heavens, blasting his eardrums for a second time.
In the darkness of the clouds it was hard to make it out, but a large creature, cloaked in the storm, descended from above with powerful wings that seemed to spread across the entire sky. The silhouette stood out conspicuously against the broken clouds. Barry gasped quietly as the world seemed to come to a screeching halt in the middle of the storm. Scales of muted brass extended all over the large body. The water splashed over them, but the beast was unfazed by the protests of the sea.
Narrow eyes of sapphire gleamed wickedly as they focused their hungry gaze on Barry. Bony spikes adorned the top of the skull, and continued as a jagged mountain range of uneven spikes and spurs, trailing down the back. The entire body seemed sharp and angular, as if borne with the very intention to cut the world down to size just for pleasure. It didn’t fly through the air but cut it in half as it raced through the sky, letting out a wail of agony as it tore by at sonic speed. Veins filled the skin of its wings and were lit up like an eerie spider web by the flashing lightning beyond. The tip of the tail was rounded and covered with spikes, as if having a body of knives wasn’t enough, it needed a mace as well.
The face was long and piercing, with more ridges jutting from the snout and fanning out around the sharp blue eyes. The brassy hide reflected the lightning flashes with each hot pulse, and lit up the sky even more with each booming crash. Angry eyes locked on Barry as it flew down from the sky aimed right at him. The unhinged jaw drew closer to Barry, revealing a tunnel of razor sharp teeth lining the entrance of the monster’s dark maw.