by Lynne Norris
Emma walked out, locked the door behind her and took the elevator to the rooftop deck. The roof garden and bar was open Memorial Day through late fall for the tenants. It was one of Emma’s favorite spots to spend an evening and relax with a drink after a hectic day. Strategically placed planters filled with palm trees and blooming ornamental plants gave the appearance of a tropical paradise during the summer months.
Kate was sitting on a chaise lounge talking on her cell phone with her back to Emma. Her thick auburn hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a white collared shirt and black pants, her attire for bartending later tonight. The shirt pulled tight across her shoulders accentuating her athletic build. When she caught Emma walking toward her out of the corner of her eye, Kate said a quick goodbye to whoever she was talking to and ended the call.
“Hey, babe.” Kate swung her legs over the edge of the lounge chair. Her black tie tucked under the collar of her shirt was untied and hung down in front, the tails lifting in the breeze. Kate looked hot enough to take right there, but the feeling left Emma as quickly as it came, harsh reality nudging it aside. “You look beat.”
“I am.” Emma sat down next to her, resting her forearms on her thighs.
“You’ve been crying.” Kate ran her fingers through Emma’s hair. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m out of a job as of today.”
“Fuck! What the hell happened?”
“We got called into a meeting at two o’clock today. They told us, ‘due to extreme market forces SMB suffered grave losses and is not able to continue serving our clients.’”
“Oh, man.”
“People freaked out. It was awful. Security was there to escort us out in groups to our offices. We had ten minutes to pack our stuff and get out. They handed out folders with our unemployment information as we left the conference room.”
“I’m sorry.” Kate wrapped an arm around Emma’s shoulder and squeezed her tight. “What are you going to do?”
Emma gave a harsh laugh and shook her head, her hair falling forward over her face. “I have no idea. What’s the appropriate response to having your world so rudely upended?
“A strong drink or two?” Kate suggested, brushing the chestnut locks back behind Emma’s ear.
“Maybe.”
“Come to the bar with me. I’ll mix you a couple of house specials and you can hang out for a while and people watch. It’ll take your mind off of this for awhile.”
“I don’t think I’d be great company tonight.” Emma sighed and leaned back on her hands. Her mind raced in a hundred directions at once. She looked at the blue sky watching the wispy clouds race past carried by the winds aloft. “We’re going to have to get a smaller apartment.”
“Don’t think about that right now. You said yourself a few months ago that this was a possibility.”
“I know, but I didn’t expect it to be—to happen in one day. I thought we’d have more time.”
“Don’t we always?” Kate asked.
“If we find a place that costs less than two thousand a month I’ve got enough to carry us through for six months.”
“Where are you planning on living? A shack on Brighton Beach. You can’t find a monthly lease in Manhattan for that price.”
“We could move to Brooklyn or the Bronx.” Emma could tell from Kate’s disdainful expression she didn’t like either option.
“My mother called me this afternoon.” Kate changed the subject.
“Was that who you were talking to?” Emma knew Kate’s mother wanted her to move to Florida. Cynthia McCrory was an influential real estate developer. Money was never an issue and if Kate ever needed something her mother made sure she got it. Cynthia was able to live off the trust her husband left her when he died ten years ago.
“She’s been keeping up on what’s been happening in the financial sector and wanted to know if you had a plan if things went south.”
“If I had a plan. How about us having a plan?” Emma cast Kate an incredulous glance. Somehow, Cynthia never saw their relationship as a partnership. Whoever was with her daughter needed to keep her in the lifestyle that she was accustomed to living.
“You know what I mean.” Kate laid a hand on Emma’s thigh. “Look how long it took for the market to come back after 2008.”
“It took over a year to hit the bottom.”
“Listen, I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?” Emma asked.
“I know this is really bad timing, but I got an offer for one of my paintings.”
“Why is that bad timing?” Emma hugged Kate and sat back studying her with a smile. “That’s great.”
“An art dealer in Florida contacted me about the pieces I posted on my webpage. They’re flying me down on Friday. They have some buyers that are interested in my work.”
“That’s fantastic. I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks,” Kate said, her eyes darting away from Emma’s.
“So, Friday. Wow, that’s fast. How are you getting your paintings down there?”
“They sent a truck to pick up the ones they’re interested in.”
“This is serious then. How long are you going to be down in Florida for?”
“Well, that’s the thing. Part of the deal would be for me to relocate to Florida so I can build a presence there.”
Speechless, Emma stared at Kate. Her brain felt like the power went out, fuzzing out everything around her and then surged back on. She had a millisecond of brilliant clarity and then the sensation left her trying to figure out what all this meant. “Relocate? That means this is permanent. H...How long have you known about this?”
“The art dealer contacted me in April after I posted pictures on my Facebook page,” Kate said.
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“Nothing was really finalized until this week. There was nothing to tell you.”
Emma’s mind reeled and she wondered if what Kate said were true. Angry with herself for doubting Kate, Emma shoved the thought away. No, Emma thought. It was her reaction to the day and not fair to Kate to accuse her unfairly. What’s wrong with me? I should feel happy for her. “What does this mean for us?
Kate wrung her hands together. “I guess that’s up to you.”
“Up to me? How? You just told me you’re leaving. How is that up to me?” Emma asked.
“You can move down with me.”
“Where in Florida are you planning on moving?”
“Boca Raton. I thought we could find a place down there for half the price of something here.”
“Kate, I have to stay around here. There are no jobs in Boca for me.”
“There are no jobs anywhere right now. Come take a vacation for a few months. You’ve got the money to do it.”
Emma had her bank account for paying bills and daily expenses, but the rest was tied up. Maybe it had never been hers to begin with, an illusion of wealth and security like this fantasy of a tropical paradise on a rooftop in New York City. “It’s tempting, but I can’t just take a vacation in the middle of a market crash.”
“Why not? Did you forget you don’t have to go to work tomorrow?”
“No, of course I didn’t forget.”
“What’s stopping you then?”
“I’ve got to stay and take care of getting out of the lease and selling what’s in this place. I have to look for some kind of work so I can pay the bills. I have to be here when the market comes back or I’ll miss the opportunities.”
Kate stood abruptly and walked to edge of the roof. Emma could sense Kate’s agitation by the stiff set of her shoulders.
“All I know is we can’t stay here. We’ll have to sell some of the furniture. Wherever we go it will be smaller.”
“Babe, don’t you think you’re over reacting?” Kate implored turning back around.
“How do you think we’re going to cover the rent let alone all the other expenses we have? Do you think you’re going to bring home th
e kind of tips you’ve gotten in the past? All your high rolling clients will be gone in a month.”
“That’s exactly why I went after this opportunity. We can get more for our money down there. I think it’s a great idea. Besides, you could use a break and I could have my art on exhibit in a totally different environment. There are lots of foreign buyers in Florida right now. Opportunities like this don’t come around everyday.”
“I understand that,” Emma said standing. “I’m hurt. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this was a possibility and you knew since April.” She wanted to go to Kate but suddenly felt like there was a wall erected between them.
“When was I supposed to tell you? Somewhere in between your endless client meetings, important telephone calls or at ten o’clock at night when you’re dragging yourself through the door exhausted?”
Emma couldn’t help the swell of anger. “With something as important as this I would think you’d find the time to tell me no matter when it was.”
With an exasperated sigh Kate said, “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Who’s fighting?” Emma implored. “I’m just trying to understand what’s happening.”
“I have to get to work. My flight leaves from LaGuardia at 7:10 Friday morning.”
“You’ve already made your decision. Haven’t you?” Stung and defeated, Emma folded her arms over her chest.
“When a door closes another one opens. You just have to step through.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who lost their job today! Why do I feel like you’re leaving me?” Emma asked.
“I didn’t say that I was. You said that.”
Emma felt her pulse pounding in her throat. “What about the life we have here?”
“There’s not much holding us here now, is there. Come down to Florida with me.”
“And if I don’t?”
“That’s your decision to make.” Kate pushed off the wall. “I guess we’ll have to see how things go.” She approached Emma, but was careful not to touch her. “I have to go or I’ll be late for my shift. We don’t have to decide anything tonight.”
“Sure.” Emma couldn’t meet Kate’s eyes. Anger coursed through her. This news on top of everything else pushed her to the breaking point. She didn’t want Kate to see her crying so she turned away. The sound of Kate’s heels clicking on the concrete faded and disappeared as she walked towards the elevator.
Emma stayed on the rooftop long after Kate left watching the stars appear in the darkening sky. This had to take the cake for being close to one of the worst days of her life. The intense feelings reminded her of the betrayal and sense of loss she felt when her parents divorced. When she’d gotten past the raw emotions enough to examine what she knew of her parents’ relationship she suspected their love for each other had died years ago. They had been going through the motions until it just wasn’t acceptable to do so anymore.
Emma wondered if the same thing was happening or maybe already had happened to her and Kate. They’d been living in a comfortable relationship for years. Maybe it had become convenient and easy to stay in it until it wasn’t anymore. Why else would Kate decide to leave like this? Essentially, she’d given Emma an ultimatum. Move to Florida or see what happens. The words echoed in Emma’s mind. Emma had a pretty good idea how it might turn out.
There would be a few obligatory phone calls, a visit or two, and then things would cool until there was little left to keep them together. As far as Emma was concerned, long distance relationships seldom worked.
Emma retreated to her apartment. It already felt like Kate was gone, her absence overwhelming.
Emma paced in front of the large sliding glass window, occasionally stopping and staring out at the skyline. Hot tears coursed down Emma’s cheeks and she slumped onto the couch clutching a pillow against her chest. After a few minutes, she gulped in some air and settled her breathing. She stood and wiped the tears from her eyes.
She dug into her shoulder bag and retrieved her cell phone. Emma’s thumbprint unlocked the phone and she stared at the screen debating whom she wanted to tell her news to.
Unlike her sister, Lindsey, Emma chose to live with her father until she left for Brown University. Her mother resented her choice and made no effort to hide it whenever she saw her. Emma was quick to remind her that their divorce forced her to make a choice she never wanted to make. It wasn’t until after her father died that the two of them started down the rocky road of reconciliation. Their relationship was far from normal, and tonight Emma didn’t feel up to the verbal sparring that characterized many of their conversations. She was grateful her sister picked up the phone rather than her brother-in-law, Brent.
“Hello?”
“Lindsey, it’s Emma.”
“Hi.”
“This isn’t a bad time is it?”
“No the kids already had their baths and are in bed. Thank God. They exhaust me.”
“Good, not good that you’re exhausted, that they’re in bed.”
“I know what you mean. What’s going on? You usually don’t call at this time of night.”
“I...I lost my job today,” Emma said fighting back tears.
“Oh my God! Why?”
“SMB declared bankruptcy. They closed their doors today.”
“Just like that? What happened?”
“It’s complicated and really it doesn’t matter.” Outside her window, Emma could see the city skyline illuminated by the myriad of lights against the black sky. She wondered how many other people were sitting in their apartments wondering what the hell they were going to do with their lives starting tomorrow.
“Brent just walked in. He said he saw something about it on the six o’clock news. Everyone lost their jobs?”
“All but the senior partners. They’ll stay on to deal with all the legal issues while they wind the company down.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t have any idea yet. My head is spinning.”
“If I were there I’d offer you an Ativan.”
“The hell with the Ativan,” Emma said. “Just mainline the scotch.”
Lindsey erupted in laughter and said, “I wish I were there with you. Is Kate there?”
“No she’s at work.”
“Work? You mean you haven’t told her yet?”
“She knows. I told her when I got home. She’s...flying down to Florida on Friday to look at apartments.”
“Florida?” Lindsey asked. “When did you decide you were going to move down there?”
“I didn’t decide anything. Kate sprung the news on me tonight.”
“What news? I’m confused,” Lindsey said.
“She got an offer from an art dealer. Apparently whoever it is really sees potential in her work. They’re sending a truck to pick up the pieces they want.”
“She actually has a buyer?” Lindsey asked.
“I don’t know. She didn’t give me all the details.”
“You didn’t know she was thinking about making this kind of a move?”
Emma could sense Lindsey assessing and judging her. How could she not have known? Kate and Emma. They said they’d be together forever, hadn’t they? She flinched as something inside tightened like a vice around her heart. It seemed like one more thing she was going to fail at. “No...she didn’t say anything before today. Life has been crazy. I’ve been working insane hours and we haven’t seen each other much.” Then again her life always seemed to be like that.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. It feels like she’s leaving. It’s a great opportunity. I understand she has to take a shot at this, but it means she moves down to Florida.”
“That doesn’t sound like Kate. She was never the impulsive type.”
“If I don’t go with her...she said we’ll see how it goes.”
“Oh honey, that doesn’t sound good. Do you want me to come down for a few days? I don’t think
you should be all alone there.”
“No. I’ll be fine. Honest. I have a lot to get done and I’ll be incredibly lousy company.” Emma hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt.
“If that’s what you want.” Lindsey sounded doubtful, but Emma absolutely did not want anyone there with her. “Have you told Mom yet?”
“No. She called me earlier. I may need a drink in me before I can deal with her reaction.” Emma could handle her mother in small doses. Their lives were worlds apart. Where Emma worked seventy to eighty hours a week her mother spent her days socializing with her lady friends, shopping and going out to eat at trendy restaurants. In between her social calendar she fit in yoga workouts and weekly massages.
“Don’t wait too long. You know how she always seems to know when something is wrong with either of us. It’s like she’s got this sixth sense.”
“Mom and her vibes.” Emma felt a twinge of irritation. When her parents were going through their divorce her mother was so mired in her anger that she left Lindsey and Emma to their own devices. When she did bother to step into her role as mother it was typically to point out how well Lindsey was doing and how much Emma seemed to be struggling. Lindsey was prettier, made high honor roll every quarter and was attracted to boys. It was a miracle the two sister’s survived the fallout from their parent’s divorce and managed to remain friends.
“After I get things settled here and I figure out what I’m doing I’ll drive up and visit you,” Emma said.
“I’d like that. We haven’t seen each other since we got together on Mother’s day.”
“I know. I’ve been crazy busy.”
“Well it certainly sounds like you’ll have some free time for awhile at least. You should take advantage of it. Live a little.”
“That’s kind of hard to do right now.”
“Are you going to be okay without a salary for a while?”
“I’ll be fine. I have unemployment and my savings,” Emma said refusing to get into the details about the state of her personal finances with Lindsey.