by Luke Loaghan
Chapter 21
The following day, I sat down with Sam, Carlos, and John in the cafeteria. John yelled and berated Sam for telling Delancey that I had impregnated Svetlana. Sam exhibited no signs of regret or remorse. Carlos hurled an expletive-laced tirade at Sam. Sam and I were looking directly at each other. I was surprised at Carlos’s outburst but Sam had betrayed him as well.
“I suppose you have every right to be angry. But I don’t feel bad for what I did,” said Sam.
I sat still, ate my lunch, and continued to stare at him.
“You know me by now, and you know what I’m about. I’m not into your little high school beliefs about friendship. Look around this cafeteria. Everyone has the same social beliefs…that high school friendships are important, and that I should play by the same rules. Not me. I’m here to try to be valedictorian and to go to Harvard, and I could not care less about the rest of you losers…I hope I never see you people again after high school is over.” Sam looked at me for a response.
I said nothing, knowing that if I remained quiet, he would lose it.
“And as for you and Delancey…I don’t know what she sees in you anyway. I did not force her to go to the prom with someone else. All I did was tell her that you were probably going with Svetlana and that Svetlana happened to be pregnant. The two of you are not a good fit anyway. I mean, I didn’t want Delancey to be embarrassed showing up to the prom with a poor, unsocialized bottom feeder like yourself…I just could not have her go to the prom with you instead of me. I don’t care who she goes with, but not you. Not while I’m still in this godforsaken school.” Sam was nearly in tears.
“Sam, I feel sorry for you. If you graduate and leave without making any long term friends, then you have missed the best part of high school. High school is not only about graduating. Not everything in life is a stepping stone,” I said disappointed.
“The purpose of high school is not the same for me as it is for you. I’ll get friends later in life, from college, from medical school, from my career. I don’t need you losers.” Sam was really on edge, his voice was wavering.
“Later in life, people will befriend you for how much money you make, or what you do for a living, or if you are colleagues. But real friendships that last a lifetime are forged in high school. This is when you are still growing and people become friends with you because they like you. It’s never gonna happen again in your life,” Carlos said.
“High school is for losers and once it’s over, it’s over,” Sam replied. “High school is not the real world. In the real world, people like me, winners, successful people, they are the ones that matter most. Not the people like you, who remain desperate for over-valued and phony, emotional childhood bonds.”
“The funny thing is that high school will never be over for someone with emotional problems and no true friends. For the rest of your life, you’ll wish you had forged better friendships while you were here, because once it’s over, it’s over. You’ll look back and always wonder why you have no real friends. Your immaturity and emotional problems will be to blame. Sam, you will look back, hoping and wishing that you could’ve done some things differently,” I said and then walked out. John and Carlos came with me, leaving Sam alone at the cafeteria table.
At graduation rehearsal, I sat with Delancey. She was happy to see me. She said that we had such little time left and that I should try harder not to botch things up. I told her I would do my best. Juan Perez stared at us angrily.
June was a three week month for school. The prom was next week, and graduation the day after.
After school, John and I went to visit Sal at the mental hospital. When we arrived at Belleview Hospital, the front desk told us that Sal, or rather Ignacio, was all the way at the top floor of the building. We took the elevator, and while walking to the farthest wing of the facility, John had to close his eyes. The patients in the hallways were disturbing to see. Some were in cuffs, and some were in helmets. All were in hospital gowns.
The very last room in the left wing had a name plate which read “I. Carus.”
I knocked but there was no answer. I knocked again, and still nothing. John turned the lock and opened the door.
Sal was crouched in one corner of the padded room, wearing a straitjacket.
“Hi, Sal, do you remember me?” I said.
Sal tried to focus. He had a hard time recognizing me.
Sal looked terrible. He hadn’t shaved in days, and looked like he had stopped eating and sleeping. He stood up, using the wall for leverage and support.
“David? John? It’s so nice to see you both.” Sal was a shell of who he used to be. His voice was weak. He’d been the smartest guy in all of Stanton, the most scientific, the greatest of all overachievers and here he was in a straitjacket in a padded cell.
“What happened to you?” asked John.
“I went to the other side…for too long. I did not make it back before sunrise. I
was gone too long. The other side. The undiscovered country. Lucy was there. I saw
Wilson. I saw Albert. Everyone was there. It was beautiful. Four moons. Lots of lights.”
“Sal, what are you talking about? Wilson is dead, Lucy is dead, and Albert is dead. You could not have seen them.” John was confused.
“The Leviathon…it can take you there…sunrise is the deadline. David, death is not final. You know what I can do. I need more time to get back to normal. My mind is a mess. I see things, I’m far from normal. More time.”
“Graduation is coming up, Sal,” I said.
“I know. I’ve been invited to graduation. I wouldn’t miss it.”
We left the facility, shocked by the remnants of Sal’s mind. He looked crazy, he sounded crazy, but I knew first hand that maybe he was telling the truth….if not all of the truth, then some of it. John was devastated to see what had become of Sal.
On the subway ride home, we were hardly able to speak.
Chapter 22
Saturday morning at the café, Christine was understandably very somber.
“I’m sorry about Eddie,” I said. “I did talk to him that night.”
She appeared emotionally bankrupt and the energetic glow that she carried with her was gone. “I was supposed to be Eddie’s date to the prom. He bought two tickets.”
“Well, I don’t have a date. You want to be my date to the prom?” I said without hesitating.
“Sure. Why not,” Christine replied.
“He had a talent for basketball, and good grades…why couldn’t he just stay away from the gangs?” I asked her.
“It’s impossible when you live in Chinatown. It’s like a whole different world. Underworld activity is a way of life.”
“More like a way of death,” I sniped. She was from a subculture completely foreign to me.
Christine wanted to go for sushi, like we used to do. This was something that I had really missed. But I had plans with Delancey for that evening. Delancey was not spending the weekend in Long Island. Her mother was out of town, and her father was opening a new restaurant in Boston.
Christine cried while telling me stories of how Eddie had fought off those who tried to tease her for her mixed ethnicity. She really opened up for the first time. We were starting to become good friends again.
Later, Christine said she was renting a room on Broome Street. “I can’t live at home anymore. My mother and I don’t get along. She kicked me out of the house. I’m working full time and I’ll be finished with high school in two weeks. I’d like to go to college part time, and try to find a better job. I like being out on my own.” With Eddie gone, she was definitely on her own.
Upon arriving at Delancey’s building, the doorman greeted me with a friendly smile. The doorman laughed and said, “Don’t look so worried; her father already left.”
Delancey was happy to see me. It was early for a Saturday night, and I wasn’t sure how we were going to spend the evening. We had not planned anything. I was less intimidated by her
luxurious apartment.
No one ever looked more stunning in just blue jeans and a tee-shirt. We drank wine and talked for an hour about everything from state college to my childhood in Queens. She spoke about her life and plans for college. She poured more red wine from her father’s liquor cabinet.
Delancey felt detached from her life, from school, and from her lack of friends. Her home life was difficult, juggling between Long Island and Manhattan, between her mother and father. Their divorce had taken its toll on her. Her father was always overbearing and controlling, but now her mother had become equally overbearing. She felt that everyone was pulling at her from opposite directions. Her father and mother were trying to poison her mind against the other.
“High school is really the beginning of the end for me. My father is going to open more restaurants in Boston, and unless I go to college in Boston, it’s going to be very difficult to see him. My mother and Bruce are talking about moving to Miami. There’s a lot of change happening in such a short time period. I really don’t know, David. I’m starting to feel like I’m sinking into an abyss. I think I’m developing some sort of depression.” She poured a second glass of the Merlot for both of us.
I looked at her face, and behind the smooth skin of a beautiful teenaged girl, I could see anguish, pain, and the weight of family pressure pushing down on her.
“David, I wish I could stay in my own little world and not leave New York.”
“You’re just depressed, but it’s going to get better.”
“Everyone wants me to follow in their footsteps as far as college and a career. There are just so many expectations. It’s too much to take. My life is not even in my own hands. My choices are not mine to make.” A single tear rolled down her cheek.
There was an intimate energy in the room; a soft, delicate bond of closeness had formed, with an undercurrent of something more. I’d never felt such warmth toward anyone. I thought that I should leave. I really didn’t want to, but it was late. She walked me to the door, and we embraced.
She seemed lonely. I wiped the tears from her cheek, and said life would be different after high school. Delancey squeezed my hand and we kissed. I wasn’t expecting that. But it continued further. Her full lips tasted like saltwater. We took a step back into the room and closed the front door. We kept kissing, at times delicately, at times ravenous. We ended up on her bed. Through her mesmerizing eyes, I could feel the essence of her soul, her essential being. She emanated vibrations of an old soul. She was so alluring, so angelic, so irresistible, with thick brown hair, and a beautiful, womanly figure. My hands caressed her tender shoulders, rubbed her supple skin.
She undressed, removing her tee-shirt and her blue jeans. I stared like a deer caught in the headlights. Truly, in all my life, I had never seen a sight so beautiful, so vibrant, and so full of life. I removed my shirt. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to lose my virginity, but it felt like it was a good time, and she was definitely the right girl. We laid next to each other on her bed. I was nervous; she looked anxious as well.
I awoke about three hours later, and was a little foggy. Delancey was in my arms, and it was very dark outside. She asked if I was okay.
“I’m better than okay,” I said.
“You know, I think I really love you,” she blushed. I could feel warm blood rushing to my heart, as it started to beat stronger, not faster, but louder and with full force. I gushed with sheer joy as I started to get dressed. She sat on her bed in her bra and panties. I couldn’t help but stare; this was all so new to me.
“I love you too, maybe for a long time. We’re both leaving for college soon,” I said.
“Why don’t you stay here in New York, and go to college in the city. I can do the same; this way we can see each other all the time,” she said buttoning my shirt.
“I really want to get out of New York. I’ve been accepted to state college and everything. I don’t want to live at home any longer. I have very little here. I was planning on leaving and never looking back,” I replied. It was so tempting to agree to stay home and see her all the time.
Now fully dressed, I started heading out of the front door. I glanced back at Delancey; she was still in her beige underwear. She was an amazing sight to witness and I took a mental photograph, knowing that it was something that I would never forget. Losing my virginity that day was completely unexpected, and completely wonderful. I felt drawn to her. The first cut really is the deepest.
“David, come on. Stay here with me. New York has everything; there’s no place like it. We could have a great time going to college here in the city.” She was very convincing. I thought about changing my plans, and my entire future, just because she asked.
“New York is great for you, because you have money. Not so great for me; I live in the other New York, where it’s mostly crime and anguish.”
I tried her to give her one last kiss goodbye, and we couldn’t stop kissing. The radio was playing. Actually, the radio had been on the entire evening. At that very second, something on the radio caught my attention. It was the song that was playing. It sounded so familiar…
“Delancey – the song that’s on the radio!” I shouted.
“Yeah, it’s a new song. I’ve been hearing it all day. Good song right? It’s from my friend’s band….”
“I know…I played guitar on the demo…that’s me! That’s me playing guitar on the radio! And singing backup!” I was elated. It was surreal…I was on the radio.
“When did you record the demo?”
“Weeks ago, one day after school. The manager said I could join the band!” I had to stop myself from jumping up and down.
The song ended, and we embraced. We kissed again; one thing led to another, and I decided to stay and live for the moment.
A few hours later, I needed to get dressed all over again.
I finally arrived home, in the wee hours of the morning, just as the sun was rising. My father, already dressed for work, asked where I had been. I told him that I had worked late and hung out with a friend. He was not happy that I was keeping such late hours. I told him about the song on the radio.
“Oh, that reminds me. Woody called for you yesterday. You may want to give him a call back at a decent hour; he said it was urgent.” He left for work.
I took a shower, trying to wipe the smile off my face, but I was pretty happy. Harry asked what I was so happy about.
“I had a pretty good day after a long, long time,” I said smiling. We had coffee together and I told him about the song, the band, and the radio. I told him that I had spent the night with Delancey. Harry was as excited as I was, about everything.
It was still too early to call Woody. I decided to call him from the café – I still had to go to work.
Shesha had baked half the muffins by the time I arrived, twenty minutes late for work. Quickly I picked up my own slack, and completed the rest of the baking. I could barely keep my eyes open from the lack of sleep. After twelve cups of coffee I was wired, and also consumed with nausea.
At nine a.m. I called Woody.
“David, have you heard the song? It’s all over the radio!” Woody’s excitement was uncontainable.
“Woody, I heard it last night. It was surreal.”
“We need you to join the band. There are eleven more songs that need to be recorded in the studio for the album. This is your big chance, David! It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. We start recording the album in two weeks!”
The time frame would situate the day after graduation as the day we would be recording the album. I immediately called Delancey. First, I told her that I’d had a great time the night before. She said she had a wonderful time also. I said that I loved her, and then told her all about my conversation with Woody.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I can’t join the band and go away to college upstate. Maybe I won’t even go to college. I really have to think about this.”
“David? Are you serio
us? What do you have to think about? Why are you second guessing this opportunity? Just go for it!” Delancey was laughing. It was so simple to her, but not to me.
I mentioned that Christine was my date to the prom. Delancey was more than okay with it since Juan would not let her out of the date. He had bought her ticket, and rented a limo. She felt locked into the ordeal with Juan.
I worked the rest of the day with a lot on my mind. The band could flop; the whole thing might not even happen. Woody might be exaggerating the success of the song. The album could fail. If I was to forgo college, and the band went nowhere, what would I have?
The second guessing was wearing me down. Negative scenarios kept playing in my head. Maybe Delancey was right, there was nothing to think about. This could be a great opportunity for me. The whole thing might even work out…who knows? By the end of the day I decided to join the band and let state college know that I wouldn’t be attending in the fall.
Before I left the café, Christine and I arranged that I would pick her up the night of the prom.
My first final exam was in history. I had studied on the subways for the past week. Svetlana was also taking the test. She had put on some weight and could not hide her pregnancy. I finished the test in a half hour, and then grabbed lunch. Carlos was also in the cafeteria.
“I’m not going to college. It’s not going to work out,” he said.
“What happened?” I asked.
“I quit working for Brass, and I had a few thousand dollars saved up.”
“So you should have no problem paying for community college,” I interjected.
“Well that’s just the thing. Over the weekend, Sam called, we got together, and I made the mistake of telling him I had this money. We went to Beefsteak Charlie’s, and had a lot to eat and drink. We rang up a large bill. I paid for it. Of course Sam didn’t have any money. Then we went to Times Square to try to get fake ID for the prom after party and…well…the whole thing ended really bad; we were held up at gunpoint in Hell’s Kitchen and now I have hardly any money left.” Carlos was obviously disappointed in himself.