“I would never have an abortion. I was devastated when I miscarried.” Selena slumped on the bed. “I planned to come back to you. But you were away for three months and had already quit dancing. After I lost the baby, dancing was all I had. So I chose to dance with Dima. I’m sorry I didn’t come to your graduation but I thought seeing you would bring back all the pain of losing our baby. It was cowardly. Once I gained some perspective, I tried to find you. But you had vanished. Ever since then, I’ve looked for you. Myspace, Facebook. But you were gone. Completely gone. It’s like you existed only in my memories. You don’t know the guilt I’ve felt. I’ve wanted to tell you since we got back together, and I tried to but you didn’t want to talk about the past. I screwed up. I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. Please forgive me, Bret.”
Bret could forgive many things. He forgave her for leaving him many years ago, but he couldn’t forgive her for lying to him about a pregnancy. About a child that could’ve been his. Could’ve been theirs. Ever.
He pulled on his jeans. “No Selena. I can’t forgive you for this. I can never trust you. I’m supposed to believe you were going to marry me when I got out of boot camp if you hadn’t miscarried? Do you have any idea how tough it was for me to get over you? I joined the Corps to make a good life for you, for us! We agreed that we wanted to be on our own, not dependent on our parents. I had no money or education. The military was the only way—there was no money in ballroom back then for amateurs and it would’ve taken us years and a ton of money to turn pro. Plus you know I never really enjoyed it. I only danced because my parents forced me and then when I got paired with you I just wanted to make you happy. In boot camp, every time I got trashed on the quarterdeck, doing pushups ‘til my fingers bled, I got through it because I knew I was doing it for our future. And then you left me—and you didn’t even have the decency to show up at my graduation and tell me to my face.”
Selena’s chin quivered. “I had no idea how hard it was for you, Bret. I have nothing to say for myself. I was just so devastated and confused.”
“I’m done. Done with you. Done with dancing. Done with this lifestyle. I’ll finish out this season and I pray I never have to see you again.”
Selena broke into sobs. “Please Bret, please.”
Bret didn’t turn around. He put on his shirt and shoes, leashed up Banjo, grabbed his bags, then slammed the door behind him.
After he made his way down the elevator, he found some paparazzi in the lobby. He pushed back his sunglasses and plowed right through them.
This was it for Bret. No more women. He’d gone against his better judgment getting involved with Selena again. He had been happier with no complications, just his loyal dog and his buddies. Buddies that would die for him. His brothers in the Corps were the only people he trusted.
He thought about Robyn’s words to him recently about his path. He didn’t believe her mumbo jumbo for a second, but she was right about one thing: had Bret never done this show, he never would have reunited with Selena nor would he have found out about his child. Bret’s heart ached at the loss, but also he felt strangely at peace. For the first time since Selena left him years ago, he knew that he’d finally found the complete closure he’d always craved.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Selena cried herself back to sleep after Bret left. She called and texted him repeatedly but her calls went straight to voicemail and her texts went unanswered. He had officially written her off.
Not that she could blame him. She had created this mess, so many years ago. Ever since their reunion, she’d tried to tell him, but couldn’t get the words out.
Who had told the tabloid? Was it Jenny or Dima? They were the only two who knew. Jenny would never do that to her, would she? And she knew Dima was hurt but that would be really low—even for him.
At least she had no more secrets. She hoped, prayed that Bret would calm down and realize that she had been so young and she hadn’t had a choice. When she got pregnant, all of her money went to dancing. She didn’t have any job other than teaching kids to dance. Bret was still in boot camp and she couldn’t talk to him for three months. Losing their baby without Bret by her side made her question her ability to handle the solitary life of a Marine Corps wife.
When she’d composed herself enough, Selena had called Xavier and explained that she wouldn’t be able to train him in Marin until tomorrow. Her manager had texted her a reminder that the other female dancers were shooting a video today, and she knew she could still join them. Working was the only way to keep her mind off of Bret. The thought of sitting for hours in an airport and then on a plane with nothing to do but stew about him sounded like agony. She could at least put off the San Francisco flight until later that night.
Uh, oh! The alarm clock on the hotel nightstand read ten-thirty—Selena had to be camera ready in forty-five minutes. They were filming the new fitness video, Dancing under the Stars: Cardio Tango. How incredibly lame was that? What was a Cardio Tango anyway? She would’ve rather spent the day travelling with Bret but she’d ruined any chance of that happening.
She bolted out of bed, tripping on the comforter and landing on her butt.
Good God, almighty! She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was all matted together like cotton candy. She couldn’t even get a comb through it. She whipped through her patented ten-minute beauty routine—shower, put on deodorant, brush teeth, and lather some conditioner through her hair then wrap it in a towel. Thank God they had makeup people on set. She threw on some sweats and grabbed her purse.
She texted her driver to meet her in the service garage then headed for the door, taking one last glance in the mirror. Oh, good Lord—she still had the towel wrapped around her hair! She reached up to take it off but stopped herself—she looked like a babushka just in case anyone saw her. Perfect disguise. The towel stayed. Luckily, there were no cameras to be found and Selena slid out the back door of her hotel and found her driver.
Six minutes later, he pulled up to the studio. A few cameras lingered outside but Selena just shoved past them.
It took all her strength to plow through the front door. The other girls were sitting on the couch in the lobby, in matching blue and white dance shorts and halter-tops, like a trashy version of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Nicole had her arms draped around Vika, with Jenny sitting close. Strangely, Elizabeth had removed herself from the drama and was at the other end of the couch.
Jenny hustled over to Selena. “Did you get our texts? Stupid tabloids.” She put her arm around Selena’s shoulders and ushered her away from the paps in the window. “Don’t worry, Sel, it’ll all blow over. I told everyone it’s not true.” She winked at me. Jenny always had her back. “Perez just has an overactive imagination.”
Time to come clean. She didn’t want Jenny to have to lie for her.
Selena stepped from Jenny’s side and faced Vika. “Vika, I . . .” She still had my sunglasses on. She couldn’t face them yet. “I . . .” Oh, God, they could all see right through her She couldn’t lie to Vika’s face. “I . . . I’m sorry but it’s true. I’m with Bret.”
Vika let out a yelp.
“Dima told to me that he wanted to get back together with you but you dumped him because he didn’t want the kids,” Vika said, getting up from the couch and walking straight at Selena. “He said you swore to him that you weren’t with Bret. That was all the lies?” When Selena didn’t answer right off, Vika ripped Selena’s sunglasses off her face, setting off a barrage of camera flashes outside the window. “Look at me into the eyes. My cousin was in love together with you. Was it all lies?”
Selena stood there with no clue what to say… so she didn’t say anything.
Vika flung Selena’s glasses at her hands. “Screw you, Selena.”
“I’m so sorry. But Dima and I have been broken up for years. I just didn’t want to get back together with him so he ended the partnership. It really has nothing to do with me dating Bret.�
�
“I love how you’ve been a friend with me lately. Like a sister. Comforting me because I am so upset about you and Dima. I even danced together with Dima for show for you to help you out. I thought you were cool.” Vika stabbed her finger at the paps smooshing their faces against the window to see them. “I actually defended you to the sleazy reporters. Thanks for making me liar, friend.” She straightened up and set her jaw. “You’re so stupid, Selena. Dima gave you his world and now you have nothing. No one will ever dance together with you again.” Every word was like a rock to Selena’s head. “Do you hear me, you . . . you . . . you and that stupid towel on your head!” She started sobbing again.
Selena watched Vika balling. Selena’s chest tightened. She never wanted this to happen. Nicole got up and gave Vika a hug. Elizabeth tried to sneak out of the lobby, motioning Jenny to escape with her. But Jenny stayed put on the sofa seemingly hypnotized by the drama. Elizabeth sat back down.
Selena didn’t know what else to say. “Vika, I give you my word this had nothing to do with Bret, I swear . . .”
Vika looked up. Her normally blue eyes were now a piercing shade of turquoise. The blinding lights of the cameras were still going off, trying to snap a picture of Vika and Selena. The ambulance chasers! As if this situation wasn’t bad enough, …as if Selena actually did something wrong! She never cheated on Dima! Vika and those baby doe eyes—she’d cheat on Benny in a heartbeat if she thought she could find someone else to take care of her.
Selena snapped.
“But so what that I’m with Bret?” All she’d ever been was decent and now everyone was turning on her. Some thanks she got. “Everyone screws everyone else in this business, anyway! I hate it! This partner screwing that partner stealing the other partner… Hell, Vika, you married a man old enough to be your grandpa just to get to the top. Don’t you see this is different? I love Bret. I love him. And I don’t care if Dima did say all those things about me. He’s obviously hurt. We’ve been dancing together for ten years. But I love Bret. And Bret loves me.” Well, he had, until that morning. “And you know what?” She leveled Little Miss Victim with her hardest Evil Eye. “Dima lied to me for years about wanting to start a family. He screwed me over.”
“You’ve always hated on me. Five years ago, you bitched to me for hooking up with Benny. But it wasn’t because you wanted Benny, that’s for sure. You just thought me marrying him would hurt your result.” She smiled grimly. “Sucks, doesn’t it? Now you don’t even have partner.”
“My result?” Selena shouted. Vika had gotten it all wrong. “What are you talking about my result? How can you think that’s why I was so mad at you about getting with Benny? I did yell at you back then, yes, but not because I thought it would hurt my result. I just didn’t want you to spend your life in a loveless marriage. Plus you didn’t need to marry Benny. You are a good enough dancer to make it without lying on the ballroom-casting couch. Dima and I were trying to find other ways for you to come to the country legally without committing immigration fraud.”
“Enough!” Nicole blurted. She shook her head at Selena.
Who needed Nicole and her I-have-the-perfect-ballroom-marriage aura? “I’m sorry, Nikki, but we all can’t be as perfect as you and Eric.” Selena paused, but then figured, what the hell? “Though maybe you should take a closer look at your own marriage before you get involved in my life.”
Nicole’s eyes narrowed, then she turned to Vika. “C’mon, luv, let’s go clean up. We still have to film this video.” She took Vika by the hand and led her out of the lobby, not looking at Selena again.
Selena watched them go, nearly panting with exhausted rage. That’s right—GO. Who needs you, anyway?
Elizabeth leapt off the sofa with a crooked smile on her face, like she’d just come to some profound realization. “Don’t worry, Selena. Vika will be okay. You did what you had to do. Nothing works out perfectly in the ballroom world.” She smiled and pranced out of the room.
What the hell was she up to? She had been acting really distant lately. And she was awfully close to Dima. Maybe Dima told her about Selena’s miscarriage and she was the one who told the tabloids?
Jenny was the last one on the couch. She sat there in silence, eyeing Selena.
Selena’s rage drained away by the second, leaving just emptiness and guilt. “Bret found out about my miscarriage online. He dumped me this morning.”
“I’m sorry, Sel. But I told you to come clean with him when you guys got back together. You’re out of control right now—do you know that? I know you are upset, but you really need to pull yourself together.”
Man—Selena couldn’t get a break. She really wasn’t in the mood for a lecture from Jenny.
“Sure, Jen, You’re right. You’re always right. I screwed up. But I have to ask you—did you tell the tabloids about my miscarriage?”
“How could you even ask me that?” Jenny stood up, straightening her workout shorts, then leveled a stony face her way. “I’m the only one who has been on your side. I’ve even been lying to the tabloids for you. But you’ve gone way too far this time Sel. Nicole didn’t deserve that. You’re on your own.” Then she walked right past Selena, following the rest of the girls into the studio behind her.
A director inside the studio clapped her hands sharply twice then hollered, “Chop, chop, people. The dance waits for no woman.”
God what have I done? Vika shouldn’t have found out like this. Selena wanted to tell her but she had decided to wait awhile until they had some space. And she probably had just ruined Nicole’s marriage, if it wasn’t already destroyed. How would this affect their baby?
She walked over to the couch and dropped into it, more exhausted than she’d ever been in her whole life. Her ballroom career was over. She’d screwed herself politically, and now she’d probably be on the cover of Star magazine. For Bret? She loved him—she knew she did. But he’d left her and Selena was sure this time he wasn’t coming back.
Her life was over.
“Selena – NOW!” the director yelled. The beat of a techno tango ripped through the speakers. In a few minutes, she’d have to smile for the camera like life was just a peach. A happy, joy-joy, this-is-so-amazingly-fun peach.
Paso Doble
His back arched and his shoulders broadened. Holding her space, she stretched her chest as he stared her down. She waved her long dress at him like a cape and he stormed toward her. She was not afraid of him. He seized her by the waist and they were off—powering down the floor and marching to the beat. The music crescendoed and the intensity built. They reached their climax and he threw her down. Their battle was far from over.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The tour bus rolled along I-55 in Mississippi for Xavier’s show in Jackson that night. The landscape was beautiful. The clear sky was bright without a hint of smog. Cars passed by at a leisurely pace with no crazed motorists cutting them off. Even though Bret had traveled through most of the United States competing when he was younger, he’d never spent much time in the south. There weren’t many competitions out here. The state flag waved in all its glory over a local high school. Man, it still had the confederate flag in its right corner. So not cool. Time to change that.
In order to keep up with rehearsals, Bret and Selena had to accompany Robyn and Xavier to the south for Xavier’s concerts. Xavier would be performing three shows that week, in Nashville, New Orleans and Jackson. Before Bret had broken up with Selena, he had actually been looking forward to a laid back tour of the south. They’d even planned on stopping at some cool, greasy spoons he had seen on the show Bistros, Booths, and Bars. But now, being trapped with her was awkward as hell.
At least they were out of California. Bret needed the pick-me-up after finding out Selena’s secret. He would’ve preferred to leave the state without her. He’d be lying if he said that he was happy they were no longer together. He missed her soft hands and warm kisses. And it turned him on the way she was always challenging him.
But at least he was still doing great on the show. Nine million people voted for Bret and Robyn last week. Not bad for his first, and last, season.
They continued down the highway. It was very different seeing nature instead of airport terminals like when he and Selena used to travel to competitions. Endless rows of trees rolled by with an occasional rose bush in the distance.
Wish he could say it was all roses inside this rolling can. Hell no. The bus was packed full with Selena, Bret, the driver, and Bret’s dog. The cruiser smelled nasty. A mix of Cheetos, feet, dog bones, and beer. Although . . . the Cheetos part made no sense. No one on their bus would have those. Well, Bret would, but he didn’t. Maybe the driver had a secret stash? Hmm . . .
The smell wasn’t the worst of it. It was hotter than hell inside even though they had air conditioning. Their rickety ride had seen better days. The rug looked like Technicolor puke, blindingly bright so it could cover vomit and beer stains. Kip, the driver, was up front with a couple rows of seats. There were two bunk beds on either side of the hallway. Then they had a tiny “sitting area” with two square tables, a sink, a coffee maker, and a microwave. And one seriously cramped bathroom. This bus wasn’t the Ritz.
Xavier and Robyn, of course, travelled on a luxury bus. Man, to have your own bus. Being stuck in a steel tube with Selena was no samba walk. His gut turned every time he thought about how she’d never told him about being pregnant. At least she’d been cool on this trip. She had been giving him his space for the past three days despite the occasional empty apology. Even when Banjo took a dump on her Jimmy Choo’s, she just said, “Oh, it’s okay,” then picked up her phone and ordered another pair to be sent to the next city. Decent of her, even if Bret did hate those obnoxious heels. The shoes got what they deserved.
Love Waltzes In (Dancing Under The Stars) Page 14