I have to stop going out. At least until I can catch this bastard. He made it personal, and that was a big mistake on his part. Or hers. I still won’t rule out a woman. I’m surrounded by powerful and deadly ones, and I’ve also pissed off a few in my life. None I can think of who would do this, but then again, you never know. I hide my proclivities well, so anyone else could be doing the same.
“She’ll be okay. Isa said her pulse was good,” Ellie tells me, taking my hand.
“She was unconscious.”
“But alive. Your mom is one tough lady.”
“I should’ve been there. I should’ve been the one to protect her.”
“You can’t protect everyone at all times. That’s not your job.”
“You’re right. My mom was your job. Maybe you should have been watching her instead of playing with Faith.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, but I don’t try and take them back.
“You’re upset, so I’m going to ignore that.”
“Denial gets you through lots of things, right?”
“Aiden. Stop. It.”
“No. I don’t think I will. Maybe you weren’t ready to go back in the field. Maybe I should call Reina.”
She doesn’t answer me. I know I’m being an asshole, but I still can’t stop myself from saying these things. I need to blame her, so I don’t feel like I’m to blame. It’s fucked up and wrong, but she’ll forgive me. She already said she’d ignore what I said.
I don’t even realize we’ve arrived until we’re waved through the front gate. Ellie parks the car where directed and throws the keys to me. She walks in ahead of me, and doesn’t look back, even when I call her name.
We have to wait for the elevator together, but she just stands there with her arms crossed and jaw clenched. “Ellie.”
“Don’t. I told you to stop, and you didn’t. You went too far.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I’m going to go up there, and stay with you until I know your mom is okay, and then I’m leaving,” she tells me, getting on the elevator first.
“What can I say to make you stay?”
“Nothing.”
I bang my head against the elevator wall, and curse my stupidity. She should be leaving me. Not just today, but forever. She said she wouldn’t, and I believe that. She’s always been the better one of us, and I hold onto the hope that she’ll forgive me, even though I’m way past second chances, three strikes, and nine lives, too.
“Aiden,” Nate says as I exit the elevator. “You’re just in time. The doctor’s supposed to be out in a couple of minutes.”
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Of course I’m here. We came as soon as we heard. Matt’s flying in, too.”
“I appreciate it.”
“Hey, El.”
“Not now, Nate,” she tells him, brushing past us and heading for the restroom.
“What did you do?” he asks, turning back to me.
“Fucked up. Badly. Just like always.”
“Shit.”
Yeah, that about sums it up. One of the two women I love is unconscious after an attack—because of me. The other one is hiding in a bathroom—because of me. I need to make sure my mom’s okay, and then I need to figure out how to get Ellie back. I can’t lose either of them. I just can’t.
* * *
Ellie
I found this empty room an hour ago, and so far no one has kicked me out. The doctor came out and said Heather had regained consciousness and was asking for Aiden. He went back to see her, and I went into hiding. I should be leaving, but I can’t make myself walk out the door.
“Ellie?” Tim says, poking his head inside.
“Hey, Tim. Is Heather still doing okay?”
“Yes. She’s too tough to let something silly like a car bomb take her down. Her words, not mine.”
“I’m glad she’s okay.”
“Can I ask you why you’re hiding in here?”
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but I can’t help it now. Tim’s looking at me like my dad would, like he really wants to know if I’m okay, and I’m not. I’m so absolutely not that I don’t cry softly. It’s full out ugly crying from the get-go.
“He blames me.”
“What? You mean Aiden? He’s just upset.”
I shake my head. “When he first started saying things, I tried to brush it off. I asked him to stop. He didn’t. He…he said I was just playing around instead of protecting Heather. I wasn’t. I was protecting him, fighting for him a few hundred feet in the air, and then I went home and fell asleep.”
“That bastard did this to you,” he asks, touching my cheek.
“Yeah. Faith is a little beat up, too. I couldn’t tell Aiden what happened, so I told him we were sparring, and it got out of hand.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Jake and Isa were watching Heather. He knows they followed her, but I can’t tell him that they’ve been watching out for all the others as well. So he thinks I’m just slacking off. ‘Playing around.’”
“When it all comes out, he’ll understand.”
“No. When it all comes out, it will be over between us because he will never understand.”
“I just wanted to help him.”
“Too bad he doesn’t think he needs it.”
“I’ll do what I can.”
“I know.”
“I came looking for you because Heather wants to see you.”
“Is Aiden still with her?”
“Yes, but you let me worry about him.”
“I’ll need to take Reina if she’s here. He said he has a complaint, and I have to take that seriously.”
“She’s here. This should be fun.”
“Loads and loads.”
We walk back out, and I wave Reina over. I don’t tell her why I’m taking her with me, because everyone else in the room would go ballistic if they knew the things Aiden said to me. Even the guys would be pissed. This is between us, and I know Reina will keep her part of this to herself as well.
“Ellie,” Heather practically yells when she sees me. “Come give me a hug.”
I smile and do as she asks. “You look like you’re getting your color back. I was worried about you.”
She waves her hand. “I’m fine. I do want to know why Reina is here, though. No offense my dear, but I didn’t ask for you.”
“None taken. I don’t know why I’m here either.”
“Aiden has a complaint about my performance on this mission. He said he was going to call you, but since you’re here now, I thought a face to face meeting would be better.”
“Are you kidding me?” Reina asks.
“I don’t kid about my job. You know that.”
Reina was already part of the Society when Helen Wilson recruited me. She knows my parents, since she runs restaurants and they run bars. I was wrestling with my brothers at a barbeque, and once I took them all down, she approached me. I jumped at the chance to make a difference, and other than what happened recently, I’ve never done anything but be a good agent for them. I like to have fun, but I never take my job lightly. Never.
She nods. “Go ahead, Aiden. Tell me what the problem with Ellie is.”
He looks like he doesn’t want to answer, but then he meets my eyes, and I practically dare him to do it. To call me out. “She’s supposed to be here protecting my mom, but instead she left her unprotected in order to spar with Faith.”
“Is this true, Ellie?”
“No. Jake told me he was going to follow Heather. I knew she wasn’t unprotected.”
“What? You could’ve told me that,” Aiden says.
“When could I have told you that, Aiden? When you were accusing me of letting your mother get hurt? Or how about when you said I like to be in denial about everything in my life?”
“Oh, Aiden. No,” Heather says to him.
“I already apologized to her. I don’t know what else to do,” he tells her.<
br />
“What did you apologize to me for?”
“For saying what I did. You know that’s what I meant.”
“I do know that you meant it that way, and that’s the problem, Aiden. You’re sorry for saying it, but you’re not sorry for believing it, are you?”
“I don’t believe it. I didn’t believe it when I said it. I just needed to blame someone else, so no one would blame me.”
“Why do I always have to be that ‘someone else’ for you?”
“Because you love me enough to forgive me. No matter what I say, you won’t leave me.”
“That makes me sound pathetic.”
“No. You’re not pathetic. You just see past my bullshit, and know I don’t mean the stuff I say when I’m freaked out.”
“It felt like you meant it this time.”
“I didn’t. I don’t. You are not to blame for any of this. I might actually be, but you’re not. That’s what I know, and what I believe.”
I go to him and let him hold me tight, but then I have to speak. He gave me an opening, and I have to take it. “Why do you think you might be to blame?”
“I should’ve realized that one of those crazies was going to go after her.”
“With a bomb? How would you know that some protester would have access to a bomb?”
“I just should’ve.”
“Next time, we’ll both look at things differently.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I look into his eyes, and see his love, and also more. I see resolve. The same resolve that I know he’s seeing in my eyes. What we have—what we are to each other—is more important than anything else. We’re going to work this out. We have to.
Chapter 12
Aiden
I haven’t gone out hunting since my mom was attacked. I can’t, and honestly, I don’t really want to. I guess it took having someone I love almost get killed because of me to kill my bloodlust. Or at least tamp it down. It’s been almost two weeks now, and I haven’t felt the urge.
What I have felt is guilt. Ellie and I are working our way back to where we were again, but it hasn’t been easy. She still lets me hold her hand, and even kiss her, but there’s been no more sleepovers, or really seeing each other outside of work unless our friends are around. I know she’s hurt, and scared, and I hate it. I’m hoping I can make us both feel at least a little bit better today.
It’s our day off, and I’m finally giving her the date I promised. I didn’t tell her where we’re going, just to dress casually. She’s waiting outside of her townhome when I get there, and I hate it. She won’t even let me come in to get her. I still have my key, but I won’t use it again until I know she wants me to.
She stands up from the step she was on and walks to my car. I barely have time to get out and open the door for her. “Thanks,” she says. It’s all she says, and I realize that I have more work to do than I initially thought I would.
“You’re welcome. You know I like to get doors for you.”
There are a few minutes of awkward silence as I’m driving before she breaks it. “Am I dressed okay?”
“Yeah. You look perfect.”
She does. She has on skinny jeans and a flowing top that falls off one shoulder; both are perfect for today. I’m also glad to see the Toms on her feet. We’ll be doing a little walking, and heels or sandals might not have been as fun for her.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
“No. I will tell you it’s not dinner and a movie, though.”
“Since it’s nine o’clock in the morning, I figured dinner was off the table. Literally and figuratively.”
“I was hoping I could keep you entertained for all three meals today, if that’s okay.”
“Oh. Yeah. I didn’t have anything planned for later. Faith said she’d stay with your mom today.”
“Ellie.”
“I just needed you to know that.”
“What I need you to know is that I know you’d never leave my mother unprotected. You didn’t do it the night of the bomb, and you wouldn’t do it today nor tomorrow. You don’t have to tell me, because I know. I should never have said the things I did, and I will regret them for the rest of my life.”
“You don’t need to regret them for that long. I forgive you. I shouldn’t have brought it up right now. I want to have a good first date with you, and I’m already screwing things up.”
“Since we haven’t arrived at our first destination yet, we can pretend that it hasn’t started yet, and just go from there.”
She reaches over to place her hand on mine, and I know we’re headed back in the right direction. We arrive at our first destination a few minutes later, and she leans forward to look outside. “Is this a craft market?”
“Kind of. It’s mostly a farmer’s market, but they have crafts, and clothing, too. It’s called Eastern Market.”
“Cool. I bet they have great food.”
I laugh because I know she really means it. She loves to eat, and I love to help her work off those calories. “They do. I thought we’d start with some buckwheat blueberry pancakes. A place inside has some amazing ones. We may have to wait in line, though.”
“I don’t mind waiting for good food.”
“I figured you’d say that.”
We go inside and get in line. It doesn’t take too long, but there’s only one seat. “We can share,” Ellie tells me.
I grin as I pull her down onto my lap. I nuzzle and kiss her neck in between bites, until she finally turns and kisses me full on. It only lasts for about a minute, but it’s enough to wake my body up to the possibilities of what might happen later.
“You’re going to have to walk in front of me.”
“I know. I feel it. But don’t worry, if the rest of the date is as good as these pancakes, I might just take care of it for you later.”
“I can only hope.”
She kisses me again and then stands up. “Come on. I want to see everything.”
I pull her into the flower shop first, and pick up the bouquet I’d ordered for her. I asked them for something non-traditional, and they delivered. It’s got a couple of roses, but then there are flowers that look like stars, what I think might be a lily, and just some other cool looking things.
“For you,” I tell her, watching her eyes well up a little. I’ve never given anyone but my mom flowers, and those are always just plain roses. I don’t know if Ellie realizes that, or if she just loves the flowers. I’ll just consider it a win either way.
“They’re beautiful. Thank you,” she tells me, clutching them to her chest.
“You’re welcome. This is only the beginning, Doll. I’m going to spoil you today. No arguments, no complaints. You see something you want, and it’s yours.”
She sighs, and puts a hand on her hip. “It’s only our first date, Aiden. What if you spend all this money on me, and then I don’t live up to your expectations?”
“Not a fucking chance in Hell of that ever happening.”
Hours later, we’ve sampled every type of food imaginable, and my arms are loaded down with the things Ellie let me buy her. A small painting of a heart with the D.C skyline behind it, a couple of distressed t-shirts, a wind chime, several pieces of funky jewelry, and a giraffe made from aluminum cans. She also insisted on buying me a few things, like a cool blue t-shirt with holes all over the front, and a silver ring with two knives crossing over each other. I put that on my ring finger, and hold it up.
“Um, did you get married without me knowing?”
“Trust me, if I got married, you’d know since I’d be marrying you. I am taken, though, so why not show it?”
“Maybe because I don’t have a ring. People are going to think I’m on a date with a married man.”
“Oh yeah,” I say, moving it to my other hand. “I didn’t think of that.”
“And you’re supposed to be the genius in this relationship.”
&nb
sp; “I don’t mind it when you’re smarter than me.”
“Because it doesn’t happen often.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
“This is why I keep you around, to boost my ego.”
“And I thought it was for the award-winning sex. Which reminds me, did you order my trophy yet?”
“No. I’ll get to it.”
“Please do. I need the guys to see it.”
“What happened to knowing that you won it was enough?”
“We both knew that was a lie when I said it. You even called me out on it.”
“Men.”
“Man. You only need one, Doll. A magnificently talented one. Lucky for you, I’m at your service, and ready to service you.”
“Just get in the car and drive me to wherever we’re going next, you idiot.”
* * *
Ellie
Aiden has already pulled out all the stops for the first part of our date, but I know there’s still more. I can honestly say that today has been one of the best days of my life. Not because he bought me a bunch of things—I can more than afford to buy my own stuff. It’s that he wanted to buy them for me, and let me take as long as I wanted to pick out things I truly loved. And when he put that ring on this ring finger, I nearly swooned. I had to hide it with humor since I’m not the type of girl who swoons, but I pretty much was in that moment.
We pull up outside some type of sports complex, and this is totally not what I was expecting. “Sports?”
“Roller derby.”
“Seriously? Are you trying to act out another one of your Charlie’s Angels fantasies? Because I haven’t been on skates in years.”
“No, smart ass. My friend owns one of the teams, and I thought you’d like it.”
“I might,” I admit. “Let’s go see if you’re right.”
Aiden buys our tickets, and we walk towards the rink. We haven’t gone far when a woman screams his name and then launches herself into his arms. From what I could see, she’s a little older than me, and drop-dead gorgeous. Right now I can only see her back, which is hardly covered by a cropped tank. There is a tattoo of a unicorn on her upper back, and ones of a dog and some kind of animated creature on her lower back. A motorcycle is partially visible on the back of her left arm as well. She’s hot, tatted up, and has her arms wrapped around Aiden like he belongs to her. Yeah, I’m not feeling self-conscious. Not at all.
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