by Talia Hunter
Max grinned back at them. Ally had won the kids over in record time. The sadness from before had disappeared and her gray eyes were sparkling, her cheeks a little flushed. So gorgeous, so alive, he could stare at her for hours.
“There you are, Max.” He’d been so engrossed in Ally, he hadn’t noticed Mrs. B approach. She barely came up to his chest, and he had to bend down to hug her. She smelled like orange juice and buttered toast: the familiar smell of home. He took a long breath of it before putting her down.
“Mrs. B, this is Ally.”
“Lovely to meet you, dear. Oh yes, you’re a pretty one.” She nodded approvingly at Max while Ally flushed.
“Thank you for having me. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve come to watch Max with the kids.”
“You’re welcome any time, dear. Now, I can’t leave them be for too long. Idle hands and all that.” She clapped her hands and raised her voice. “Come on you lot. Get your costumes on so you can impress our guests.” Then to Max, “The children have been busy making their own costumes. They’re very proud of them.”
“I can’t wait to see them.” He called out to the kids who were rushing backstage, “Who already knows all their lines?”
Hands shot up, and the noise rose even higher with the kids’ excitement. Max grinned. He remembered being in their place so clearly. On the center’s small stage he’d been Mercutio, Aramis, and Hercules. He’d dueled with swords, fought in epic wars, and wrestled a dragon. Who wouldn’t love every second of it?
The kids emerged from backstage, and he was enthusiastic with praise for their costumes. He arranged them in a semicircle to run through some voice exercises before jumping into the rehearsal. By the time he looked around again, Ally had disappeared.
He finally spotted her carrying glasses out of the kitchen to help Mrs. B set up a table with juice and cookies. The two women were deep in conversation. They already looked like friends, and Ally genuinely seemed to be enjoying herself. He was surprised by the gladness that flooded through him.
He’d been wary of Mrs. B when he’d first arrived, until he realized she was nothing like his mother. When his mother had been high, she’d been loud and manic, prone to turning the stereo to full volume in the middle of the night, or inviting a crowd of strangers to party at their place. When she was clean, she’d chain-smoked and chewed her nails raw, and she’d had a hundred different rituals to keep her mind off her cravings. Living with her had been like making his way across shifting sands where the landscape could change from one minute to the next.
Mrs. B was the opposite. Always calm, and as constant as a clear blue sky, she was quick to laugh and difficult to anger. She’d given him the stability he yearned for, and he’d always be grateful.
Now perhaps he was ready to consider what else he might need to fulfill him. To imagine the kind of woman he might want to share the rest of his life with.
Ally turned, caught him looking, and gave him a smile that made him feel light inside. She fit in so easily here. Maybe she’d fit into the rest of his world just as well, and it wouldn’t matter what she did for a living, or what other people thought. Perhaps the only thing that mattered was the way she filled his heart with something that could possibly be love.
# # #
Ally liked Mrs. B instantly. She gazed at Max with obvious adoration, and dished out hugs to any of the kids who stood still long enough. It was plain they were devoted to her, and she to them. For kids from harsh backgrounds, visiting the youth center must be like heaven.
Ally helped Mrs. B set out plastic glasses on the table and fill them with juice, ready for when the kids took a break from practicing for the play. They sounded like they were having fun, so that might not be any time soon. Fine by her. Their costumes were mostly either long robes with sequins, or colorful leotards with enormous tissue-and-wire wings sewn on. The kids were unbelievably cute in them, especially when they kept tripping over their hems.
Max was on stage, directing. He was firm with the kids, but he had an infectious laugh when anything struck him as funny, and they giggled along with him. She couldn’t help but smile too.
“I can’t imagine what Max might have been like when he was a boy,” she mused aloud. “Was he very different back then?”
Mrs. B straightened from slicing a cake into bite-sized pieces, and put her hands on her lower back to stretch it. “Oh, he was a little sadder, but as determined as he is now.”
“Sadder?”
She clicked her tongue. “Such a wonderful kid, but he had a difficult time of it.”
“He told me what happened to his mother.”
Mrs. B looked startled. “He did?” She opened a packet of crackers and spread them onto a plate. “You must mean a lot to him, dear. He keeps his past locked up tight, and I can’t imagine him telling that story to just anyone.”
“I hope I do,” Ally said with more feeling than she’d intended. She flushed, and concentrated on pouring another glass. She hadn’t meant to make her feelings for him so obvious, but Mrs. B was so motherly, it made her want to confess her dark secret and ask for a hug.
Mrs. B chuckled. “I don’t blame you at all. I love all the kids, but I have to admit some of them are special, and Max was always lovable.” She dropped Ally a wink. “He’s handsome, isn’t he?”
Ally laughed. “And then some.”
“He was the best looking boy I’d ever seen.” The smile dropped from Mrs. B’s face. “Although his looks were a curse to him back then, poor lad.”
“How come?”
“Well, you know that we’re a day center for foster children in all kinds of placements? The lucky ones go into regular families where they might be the only foster child, but unfortunately there are too many in the foster system and not enough families to take them.” She sighed. “Where Max lived is more like an institution than a family home, and a lot of the teenagers end up there. By the time they arrive, they’ve usually had a rough deal and it’s natural they’re going to take out some of their hurt on each other. Someone who stands out, like Max did, well, the bullying could have been much nastier if he wasn’t so good at standing up for himself. He had a tough shell when he arrived, and I’m afraid his living circumstances only made him tougher.”
Mrs. B moved the cake aside and started slicing apples onto a plate. “I think that’s why he was such a good actor. His first time on stage, I saw he was a natural. After all he’d been through, he didn’t want to be Max anymore, so he became the character.” She chuckled. “Listen to me, being fanciful. You probably don’t understand what I’m going on about.”
“I understand,” said Ally. Deep down, she’d hated the person she’d become after Barry had changed her, and becoming Cora had freed her. She knew exactly what the appeal was.
“I’m glad to have met you, Ally, and to see Max happy. He hasn’t brought a friend here before.”
“Never?” Ally couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.
Mrs. B shook her head. “He visits every time he’s in Sydney. Of course, he’s wonderful with the children, and without him our drama program would be far poorer. He’s been such a blessing, but there’s always been that sadness in him. Not that most people can detect it; he hides it well.” She shot a sideways look at Ally. “It’s strange, because today I don’t see it at all.”
Ally swallowed hard and put down the juice bottle. An unbearable surge of guilt filled her. Would Max have invited her here if he knew the truth about her? Unlikely. She was here on false pretenses and now it felt like it wasn’t only Max she was deceiving, but Mrs. B too.
“I have a secret,” she blurted impulsively. “A big one.”
The old woman put down the apple she was slicing. “Oh?”
Crap. Am I really going to tell her? She bit her lip. But her secret was burning a hole inside her, and she needed to drag it into the open.
She took a breath and let it out in a rush. “I’ve been lying about who I really am, and I’m ter
rified he’s going to hate me when he finds out.”
Mrs. B didn’t look shocked or angry, but sympathetic. “Oh my dear. If it’s any help, I think it’s best to be honest.”
“I’d like to be. But I’m afraid.”
“It’s difficult to confess when you’ve made a mistake, but you’ll feel better once you do.” She picked up another apple to slice. “And in my experience, it’s rarely as bad as you imagine it’s going to be.”
Ally nodded slowly. Without honesty, what kind of future could they have?
“I’m going to tell him. No matter the cost, he deserves to know the truth. I can’t keep it bottled up any longer.”
“Now’s your chance, dear, while you have your courage up.” The old lady nodded at the stage. “Looks like they’re taking a break.”
Max trailed the pack of excited kids to the table. He looked as happy as Ally had ever seen him, and her heart broke. Maybe she shouldn’t tell him until they got back to the hotel. She’d promised her sister she’d wait until she was home, but they were back in Sydney now, technically home. Putting it off would be pure cowardice.
Mrs. B gave her a nod and a smile, and she found herself blurting, “Max, can I have a word with you in private?”
“Of course.” He put his hand on the small of her back to lead her to one side of the big hall, and Ally could have wept with how good it felt. He had no idea what was coming. She couldn’t bear the anticipation of seeing his good humor change when she told him the truth.
She took a deep breath and spoke quickly, before she could lose her nerve. “Max, I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to hate me. Please believe that I never wanted to hurt you.”
His smile faded, replaced by a wary look. “What is it?”
Do it fast, like pulling off a Band-Aid.
“I’m not really a dominatrix.”
He blinked, trying to process what she was telling him. “What do you mean?”
His expression made her want to cry, but she forced herself to go on. No more lies. I owe him the whole truth, even if it kills me. Only it felt like it was actually killing her.
“I lied to you, Max. I said I was a dominatrix, but really I hadn’t any clue what I was doing. I made it up as I went along.”
“But the woman in the sex store told me…?”
“Geena’s my sister. She was in on it.”
His frown was still more puzzled than angry. “Why would you pretend to be a dominatrix if you aren’t?”
Here came the really bad part. She squared her shoulders and wouldn’t allow herself to drop her gaze. No matter how badly he reacted, it couldn’t be worse than keeping up the lie.
“I have a blog called Liaison and I’d planned to write a series of stories about you. I really needed the money, and I didn’t think about how it was going to hurt you, and…”
His face twisted with shock and disbelief. He stared at her like she’d pulled out a dagger and stabbed him. Oh god, this was even worse than she’d imagined.
“You’re a blogger?” He made it sound like a swear word. “You’re going to tell the world about everything we did?”
“No!” She reached out, needing to touch him, but he jerked back, his expression dark with pain. She dropped her hand and swallowed the tears that were threatening. “I thought about publishing some stories, but only if there was some way out of the confidentiality agreement I signed.” That sounded awful. “Of course there’s no way I’ll publish a single word now.”
“The whole thing was a setup?” A hard, blank shutter fell over his face. She would have sworn nothing could be more terrible than the pain in his eyes, but this was infinitely worse. He wasn’t Max, but a cold faced stranger. His eyes had turned icy. “You were playing me the entire time?” His voice was dangerously soft.
Her throat felt like she’d swallowed a rock. Any minute she’d lose control and cry. “It might have started out that way, but then I started developing strong feelings for you, and I—”
“Feelings?” He spat the word. “You lied to me, Ally. How could you think I’d ever be okay with that?”
“I hoped you’d…” She stopped. Tried again. “I thought maybe if I told you the truth and said how sorry I was…”
“The truth? How do I know you’re not still lying? How can I believe anything that comes from your mouth?”
Her eyes burned and she lost the battle to hold back her tears. Max was right, she’d ripped apart the trust they’d built between them.
Ally gulped. There was only one thing left to say, one truth he needed to hear, however impossible her desperate hope that it might somehow be enough. “I fell in love with you, Max.” Her voice came out thick through her tears. “That changed everything.”
“Love?” He made a bitter, scornful sound. “If this is what you call love, then I don’t want it.” His face was carved from granite, his fists clenched so hard his knuckles were white. He stood hunched, as though she’d sucker punched him in the gut. “You tricked me into opening up so you could write stories about me. I told you my deepest secrets, things I’d never told anyone, and still you kept lying to me for five whole days, pretending to be someone you weren’t.”
“Max, I—”
“Forget it, Ally. Whatever this was, it’s over.”
His tone bought a fresh burst of tears that she fought to stop. If only she could force them away, she might be able to find the words to explain why she’d had to do it. But what explanation could make it okay that she’d lied to him all that time? How could he forgive her when she couldn’t forgive herself?
He turned away and she couldn’t see his face. “Get your things from the car and go.”
“I’m sorry, Max.” She wiped at her face, but it was useless. “Please don’t make me leave like this, without—”
“Go. I have nothing more to say and I don’t want to see you again.”
He strode away and her tears spurted with such force she could barely find the door. She needed to beg him to forgive her, but she was crying so hard she couldn’t speak. Her heart had splintered into a million jagged pieces. It was her own fault. She’d gotten what she’d deserved, and how could she have expected him to react any differently?
In a haze of tears and pain, she stumbled away from the youth center and out of Max’s life forever.
Chapter Eleven
“This is an intervention.”
Ally looked to the door of her tiny bedroom. Geena and Lacey had crowded into the entrance and were giving her such fierce stares that Ally groaned and pulled the sheet over her head. Couldn’t she lie in bed without being harassed? “Leave me alone,” she mumbled. “I’m sleepy.”
“No, you’re depressed.” Lacey tugged the sheet off Ally’s face. “But we’ve let you wallow in your misery for four days, and now you have to snap out of it. If you’d gotten the ten thousand dollars Max owed you, we might still have some breathing room, but I’m about to be thrown out of my apartment and your sister’s about to lose her store.”
Geena nodded. “He’s left us no choice.”
“No.” Ally struggled to a sitting position. “I’m not publishing those stories. I refuse.”
Lacey folded her arms across her chest. “Ally, the deal’s lined up with the advertiser, and they won’t wait any longer. Either the stories go live now, or they walk.”
“I won’t.”
“You have to.” Geena’s expression was grim. “Al, I love you, but I’m not going to lose the store because you’re acting like a lovesick fool. If we don’t do this we’ll be out on the street with nothing, and I’ll never speak to you again.”
“If I publish, Max will never forgive me.”
Her sister sat on the bed next to her, her voice suddenly gentle. “Honey, you have to accept there’s no chance for you and him anyway. I won’t let you throw everything away because you’re hanging onto a fantasy that everything’s going to magically work out and he’s going to sweep back into your life.
It’s time to give him up and accept what we need to do.”
She nodded at Lacey, who sat down on Ally’s other side. “Sorry, Al, but I’m pushing the Publish button.” She opened the laptop she was carrying. The first of Ally’s stories was already loaded, waiting to be published. Her headline screamed across the screen. ‘How I Mastered Max Oberon.’
Ally caught her breath. If they published, it was over and nothing could fix it. There would be no way she could ever make this up to Max. Her heart would never be whole again.
Geena squeezed Ally’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Wait.” Ally threw the covers back and scrambled out of bed. “What if I could convince Max to give me the ten thousand dollars he was going to pay me? If I got that money, you’d be able to pay off most of your debt, Geena. I know it’s not enough, but I’ll get a job washing dishes or cleaning toilets. I’ll get two jobs. Three jobs. I’ll pay you back every cent.”
“What about the blog?” asked Lacey.
“I’d rather give it up than betray him.” Ally winced at her friend’s expression. “Sorry Lace. You know I hate to let you down.”
Geena looked at Lacey, then back at Ally. “You’ll call him and ask for the money? Do you have his phone number?”
Ally rooted around in her mess of a bedroom until she found her handbag. She fished out the business card he’d given her the first time they’d met and brandished it triumphantly. Whether he was in Australia or L.A., she should still be able to reach him on his cell phone.
“Okay.” Geena grabbed Ally’s phone off her desk and handed it to her. “Call him now. If he agrees to give you ten thousand dollars, we won’t publish the stories. If he doesn’t, we do. Deal?”
Ally swallowed hard. She had no idea what she’d say to Max. She couldn’t forget the terrible look on his face when she’d told him the truth about who she was. If she had to ask him for money, she didn’t want to do it like this, over the phone. How was it going to sound? No, she needed to see him in person.