by E. L. Todd
***
We spent the afternoon working with the local tribe people. Not only did they not have access to clean water, but also basic medications were unheard of. A few of them had infections from old abrasions. Fortunately, we brought antibiotics on the trip and were able to disperse them. One little girl had a broken shoulder. It was out of place from the socket, and it dangled pathetically at her side. From my little training in medical school I was able to return it to the socket. The girl was in pain but she didn’t cry once. Then I made her a sling from an old t-shirt. By the time I was done, she was as good as new.
I missed my family terribly, and I missed everything else about my home. Nothing here reminded me of it. I felt like I was on a different planet with foreign people and a completely different culture. And I missed my wife most of all, the one person I’d pledged my life too. But I couldn’t deny this was where I was meant to be. Not only did I help a few people, but I helped several thousand. If I hadn’t come through, what would they have done? Would they have survived?
That night I pulled out my laptop and prepared to call my wife. I’d given myself a few days to calm down over the last conversation I had with Laura. Skye needed to talk to me and know everything was all right. She didn’t need to know about everything that happened. She already had too much on her plate.
When she took the call, she was in bed. The headboard was in the background, and she wore one of my t-shirts. It was gray, and the neck was much too big for her. It fell down her shoulder and exposed her beautiful skin. “Hi…” Every time she looked at me her eyes lit up with newfound strength. I knew she looked forward to these talks every single day.
So did I. “Hello, beautiful.”
Her eyes were glued to mine and her lips were motionless.
Sometimes it was nice just to stare at each other. I used to do it all the time when we were together. She would sleep and I would just watch her. Now I was doing it again but I wish it were in person.
“How are you?” she asked with a quiet voice.
Miserable. “Okay. You?”
“The same.” She hardly blinked.
Slade told me she was having stomachaches, but I couldn’t tell her I knew that. That would mean I had spoken to him, and I wouldn’t have an explanation of why I called him and not her. “Everything okay with your father?”
“He’s taking it a day at a time. He switched medications so that seemed to help.”
“Good. I’m glad he’s feeling better.”
“What’s new with you?”
I told her about my recent experience.
“You popped the shoulder back into place?” Awe was in her voice.
“I’d done it a few times,” I said with a shrug. “And it’s easier to do on children. There’s not as much fat and muscle in the way.”
Pride was evident in her eyes. “Good thing they have you.”
“I know…I couldn’t imagine living in pain and just hoping someone might visit my village and give me some help. The thought alone is terrifying.”
“I’m sure when you come back you’ll be disgusted with the way we live our lives.”
“No. We are just very lucky.”
She nodded. “We are.”
“And I miss it. Nothing here reminds me of home, not even the grass and trees.”
She examined my face quietly. “Homesick?”
“Very. I missed you the moment I left but…now I miss everything. I’d give anything to have a cheeseburger.”
She chuckled. “They are delicious. You’ll have many when you get back.”
“Somehow, I’ve lost weight. I have absolutely no fat on my body.”
“Ooh…lucky me.” She gave me a wicked smirk.
I chuckled. “Don’t even talk about that... I miss it so much I’m going crazy.”
“I miss it too…”
Masturbating was better than nothing but I preferred the real thing. It wasn’t even a sexual desire. I just wanted to feel her naked body against mine, to know I wasn’t alone. I wanted the intimacy you only received through physical contact and love.
But it was better than nothing. “I love that shirt on you…but I’d prefer to see it on the floor.”
She smiled slightly then pulled it off. She wasn’t wearing a bra so her tits were right in view. They were perky and round like always. They had a firmness to them whether she was warm or cold. I loved her big tits. They felt so good in my mouth and my hands. But I noticed they were a little bigger than usual. In fact, she seemed slightly bigger everywhere. Her arms were a little thicker and her stomach was larger. The weight gain didn’t bother me in the least. It was just something I noticed. Since I only saw her once a week, I noticed slight changes a lot better than if I saw her every day. She was probably eating a lot more because she was stressed, and she wasn’t exercising because she was too depressed. It wasn’t that surprising.
Skye pulled her hair over one shoulder then massaged her tits in her hands.
I loved it when she did that. She had the perfect body and I loved it. I’d never been into really thin and toned girls. I was all about the curves, and Skye had all the right ones. I undressed myself then pulled out my Vaseline. Like always, I just thought about her as I jerked off. The guilt from my secret weighed on my shoulders but I tried not to think about it. Telling her would only hurt her. I wasn’t sure what would happen when I did, but I knew we would survive. I didn’t cheat on her and she would understand that. It was against my will and I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Skye would believe me.
She had to.
Chapter Fourteen
Skye
When I pulled on my pencil skirt that morning I could barely get it over my thighs. The fabric was tight but it was tighter than usual. After some twisting and awkward turning, I managed to pull it over my fat ass.
Even the blouse was a little tight. I couldn’t get it on unless I unbuttoned the front, and when I did button it after I got it on, I had to really stretch the cotton because nothing was fitting in place. When I finally looked presentable I went to work.
Things were slow, so my dad’s absence didn’t weigh us down. At this point, it seemed like Conrad and I did all the work anyway. Mike usually took off to see my dad or play golf with some friends. Conrad and I held down the fort while he was away.
I was in my office when Conrad knocked and walked inside. “Hey, you busy?”
“No.” I looked up from my computer. “What’s up?”
“I have a meeting with the marketing people. You want to sit in?” He dropped into the chair facing my desk and crossed his leg at the knee. His black suit and matching tie fit him to a T. With his dark hair and blue eyes, he looked just like his father. They were the same size and the same height, so I couldn’t tell them apart from behind. “You can handle it.”
“You sure you don’t want to come?” An eyebrow was raised.
It was unlike me not to participate. “I have a lot of things to do here. You don’t need me anyway.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked. “I always need you.”
I forced a fake smile. “That’s a nice thing for you to say but I know you’re very self-sufficient.”
He straightened his tie while he looked at me. “I don’t like seeing you like this…you’re like a different person.”
My lips sagged into a frown. “I know…I’ll try to be better from now on.”
“No,” he said quickly. “I’m not asking you to change or pick up your slack. It just bums me out.”
I turned my gaze back to the computer because the intensity was too strong.
“When Beatrice left me, I was a wreck. I know you remember it.”
I did.
“I was irritable, unable to focus, and…not myself. Then when Lexie left me I did the same thing all over again. Fortunately, that separation only lasted a few weeks. My point is, I understand what you’re going through.”
“Cayson and I didn’t break up.”
“I’m not sure who I’m more worried about…my father or Cayson.”
“Both of them will be fine,” he said firmly. “You just have to be patient.”
“I know.” I knew I needed to be strong and push on. I couldn’t let these things affect me so deeply. My father was going to be okay and Cayson would be back in seven weeks. Everything would be okay.
“I’m always here if you need to talk. I’m not the best talker but I’m a pretty good listener.”
I smiled, and this time it wasn’t forced. “You’re good at both.” Conrad and I had never been close growing up. He was just my cousin that I hardly spoke to. Trinity was the only one I paid attention to. But ever since we started working together, a bond had formed between us. There was mutual respect, friendship, and also love.
“Can I take you out for a milkshake?” he asked. “I know you like those.”
My hand immediately went to my stomach. “No, thank you. I’ve gained enough weight as it is. I don’t want Cayson to come home then cringe at the sight of me. Plus, my stomach has been upset for a few weeks.”
He brought his hands together and nodded slowly. “You’ve had a stomachache for several weeks?”
“It comes and goes. The stress is eating me away.”
“But even then…that sounds miserable.”
“It’s not that bad,” I said. “Slade takes care of me.”
“Maybe you should go to the doctor,” he said. “It’s always best to get things checked out instead of not knowing what the problem is, especially since it could be something muh worse than you might expect.”
“Okay…thanks for freaking me out.”
He chuckled. “That’s not what I meant to do. I’m just looking after you. You got health insurance so you may as well use it.”
“Thanks but I’m sure I’ll be okay.”
Conrad dropped the argument then rested his lips against his fingertips.
“How are things with Lexie?”
“Great,” he said. “She’s one sexy lady.”
My lips stretched into a smile. “She’s very cute, Conrad. And she’s very sweet.”
“A deadly combination.”
“Any plans for the two of you?”
“Plans?” he asked.
“Yeah…have you thought about taking her on a trip or something?”
He shrugged. “I haven’t had a chance to take time off of work.”
“You could take her somewhere for the weekend.”
“Well, we just stay in bed anyway. I’d rather save the money and just do that at my place.”
I shook my head slightly. “Why don’t you ask her to move in with you?”
Conrad’s eyes darkened. “I don’t know…I don’t want to rush things.”
I tried not to roll my eyes.
“What we have is pretty perfect and I don’t want to mess with it.”
“No.” I knew exactly why he didn’t want to commit to her. “You’re scared she’s going to hurt you the way Beatrice did. Conrad, she’s not. I’m pretty sure you can take a chance on this one. She’s pathetically in love with you.”
A smug grin stretched across his face. “She is, isn’t she?”
Now I did roll my eyes. “Conrad, just ask her.”
His smile disappeared quickly. “We haven’t really had a talk about the future and stuff. I’m not sure what she wants.”
“Then ask.” It wasn’t that hard to do.
“But I don’t want her to expect anything after I bring it up.”
“Then tell her that.”
He sighed in irritation. “Our relationship isn’t as simple as yours. We didn’t fall in love five years ago and know without a doubt the universe wanted us to be together. We’re actually normal.”
“Shut up,” I said with a laugh. “The universe only wants you to be together when you want to be together. There’s no such thing as destiny or fate. We make our own.”
“You don’t believe in soul mates?”
“Of course, I do.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You just said you don’t believe in destiny or fate.”
“I don’t. Cayson and I are soul mates because we choose to be soul mates. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Conrad had a blank look on his face.
“Nevermind.”
“Yeah…this conversation is getting too deep for me.”
***
After Slade and Trinity picked me up from the office, we headed home. I was exhausted and didn’t say anything on the drive. Instead, I stared out the window while Slade and Trinity bickered.
“Let’s go out to dinner tonight,” Slade said.
“I’m too tired,” Trinity said. “Let’s just order a pizza or something.”
“Come on.” He kept one hand on the wheel and used his other to grab her thigh. “I want to take you somewhere nice.”
“But I don’t like fancy dinners.”
“That’s not the point,” he argued. “Just do as I say.”
She turned to him with wide eyes. “When have I ever just done what you said?”
“Okay…I didn’t word that right.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I just want to do something nice for you.” He gave her a puppy-eye look. “Can you really get mad at me for that?”
Her anger disappeared. “No…but I don’t want to drive all the way back to the city. Let’s just eat at home. Besides, what’s Skye going to do?”
I wanted to smack her upside the head. “I can take care of myself. I know how to shove food into my mouth. I do it all the time.”
She turned around and looked at me. “I just meant I would feel bad if we left you home alone.”
“Don’t,” I said quickly. “You two deserve some alone time. I’m fine, honestly.”
Trinity gave me that look that told me she knew I was lying.
“Trinity, I’m fine,” I repeated.
“You look worse, if you can believe it.”
Slade nodded as he kept driving. “I agree.”
“Well, I got a lot on my plate right now…” I didn’t realize how pathetic I was. I was a walking corpse and everyone knew it.
“I worry about you, Skye,” Trinity said. “When Slade and I broke up I wasn’t even this bad.”
“It’s not the same thing,” I said quietly.
“Exactly,” she said. “You know he’s coming back and you’re spending the rest of your lives together. I know it’s hard not being with him but he will return. You just have to be strong.”
I knew she was right. “I’ll try to be better.”
“And your dad is going to be fine,” Slade said as he looked at me in the rearview mirror. “Recovery is never easy but he’s alive and well. Everything will be back to normal.”
Everyone kept telling me this but I was having a hard time believing them.
Trinity turned back around. “So, pizza is okay?”
“You know me.” Slade patted her thigh. “I’ll eat anything.”
“Yes, I know,” Trinity said with a sigh. “Even if it’s been in our refrigerator for two weeks and it’s expired.”
“What?” Slade said innocently. “It didn’t make me sick so what’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is it was stupid,” Trinity snapped.
“I was hungry,” Slade said with a shrug.
“And there were plenty of other things in the fridge you could have eaten.”
I pressed my face against the cool glass of the truck and closed my eyes. Maybe if I tried hard enough, I could tune them out.
***
Every night I waited for Cayson to call. My laptop sat on the bed, open and waiting. But tonight there wasn’t any sign of life. He usually only contacted me once a week. I knew he didn’t have many opportunities to communicate with me. There were some nights
when I desperately needed to talk to him and I slightly resented him for not reaching out to me. But then I realized how much worse Cayson had it. He couldn’t even call the people he loved when he wanted to.
And I got to see them every day.
When I realized there was no possibility of him calling me, I tucked the laptop under the bed then turned off the light. Like always, I thought about Cayson and imagined him next to me. I pretended his large naked body was tucked under the sheets, keeping me warm and safe.
The thoughts were enough to lull me to sleep.
***
My eyes opened at three in the morning. My stomach was burning in pain and I knew I needed to get to the toilet as quickly as possible. Moving through the dark, I headed to the bathroom. On the way, I bumped into the dresser and knocked over a lamp. It crashed onto the floor and broke into hundreds of pieces.
I was too sick to care. I continued to the bathroom and barely made it to the bowl in time. I held my hair back as I vomited into the toilet, feeling better as every ounce of my insides left my body. When I was finished, I flushed the toilet but continued to lean against it. Now I felt exhausted.
“Skye, are you okay?”
I flinched at the sound of Slade’s voice. “Would you stop sneaking up on me all the time?”
“I heard something.” His shoulders were rigid and a temperamental look was in his eyes.
“I knocked over a lamp as I tried to get over here.”
Slade grabbed a towel then handed it to me.
I wiped up then leaned against the wall with my legs pulled to my chest. I got a little bit of vomit in my hair and I wiped it away with the towel.
“Skye.” Slade’s voice came out unnaturally serious.
“What?”
“I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“What?” I dropped the towel and looked at him. “Why?”
“Because this isn’t normal. You shouldn’t be throwing up in the middle of the night all the time. Stress might be causing it but I highly doubt it. Get dressed and let’s go.”
“You’re overreacting—”
“Get your ass up and do as I say.” He stared down at me with fire in his eyes. “Or I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you. Do you understand me?” He spoke to me like a military sergeant.