Cherishing You (Thirsty Hearts Book 3)
Page 17
In the three days of hellish anticipation since getting the blood test, she resigned herself to the news. Despite that, hearing definitive confirmation of her pregnancy froze her.
“Based on what you told me, I calculate you to be about five weeks along. Now, that’s based on the date of your last period. Once you’re further along we can do a sonogram, and we may revise your due date. It looks like, oh…July fourth.”
The doctor smiled at Shannon as if that piece of information would make this pregnancy less catastrophic. She and Taryn would be pregnant at the same time. The contrast between their situations once again twisting in her gut like a knife. She sat on the edge of her chair, stunned to stillness.
“This is not coming at a good time.”
“I know you aren’t married, but I gathered that you were in a relationship. Even if you aren’t, many women find themselves in your situation. It can be daunting, but I’m here to support you as is anyone in our office.”
“Yes, I have a boyfriend,” Shannon replied, then snapped her lips shut. She would not bring up the paternity question. God, so embarrassing. At least, when she found out she was pregnant with Olivia, she had no doubts that the baby was Jeff’s.
“Will he be supportive?”
Dr. Franklin’s question snapped Shannon’s attention to her. “He’s great. He’ll be very supportive. His family, or his parents, not so much. That’ll be hard.”
Shannon wished she had a crystal ball to tell her whether Jonah was the father. If she knew that he wasn’t, she might even have an abortion. She couldn’t do this on her own or with some guy who slept with passed out women.
She brushed those thoughts away. Jonah was probably the father, and so everything would be fine. Yes, his parents would think her a slut, but they already thought that. She pressed the heels of her hands into her knees.
She needed to tell Jonah—at some point—after she took a few days to get acclimated to the idea herself. Another baby. A little girl or boy with grey eyes and blonde hair. If—Stop!
This baby was Jonah’s.
Shannon took the package of prenatal information from Dr. Franklin. She would entertain no other thought until absolutely necessary.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jonah made it his mission to get Shannon out of her almost month-long funk. He poured through recipes online but, in the end, decided to keep things simple with his old standby: spaghetti.
He also wanted to broach the subject of Jeff and her arrival in Dallas at the beginning of the year, but he wanted to see how dinner went first. Lately, managing her moods required near constant effort on his part—especially tonight.
All through dinner, her mind wandered off, leaving Jonah to repeat himself. She would blush and apologize. Finally, Jonah had enough. In the middle of a story about a difficult work meeting, he noticed her eyes fixed on a spot a foot above his head. She nodded as if paying attention, but Jonah could see no one was home.
“I’m thinking about building a time machine and going back to kill Hitler.”
“Oh, really?…I’m sorry what did you say?” she asked and shook her head as if shaking loose some stubborn thought.
Jonah dropped his fork. “Tell me what’s going on with you. You haven’t been yourself for weeks now.”
“Maybe this is who I am. We don’t know that much about each other when you think about it.” She challenged him petulantly with her gaze.
“Then maybe you should try listening instead of daydreaming. Or you could join in on the conversation. Talk a little about yourself and what’s happening.”
Shannon wilted, and guilt slammed him. “I’m sorry, Jonah. I do have news, but I have no idea how you’ll take it. It’s…really big news.”
She nervously twirled a gold curl around her finger, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath. Jonah sat back in his chair and grabbed the edge of the table to brace himself.
“What is it?”
“I…Shit.” She closed her eyes again. Jonah reached toward her across the large table, unable to reach her hands, but patting the space in front of them as if he could.
“I don’t know how to say it out loud. I practiced all afternoon what I would say, and now, I can’t even remember.”
“You’re scaring me, so I’m sure it’s better to tell at this point because I’m thinking the worst.”
“This might be the worst.”
Jonah’s heart tumbled in his chest. “Is something wrong? Are you sick?”
“Not…really. I’m—”
Shannon stopped, but Jonah watched her face and knew.
“You’re pregnant.”
“That’s the second time in two days someone has said that to me. It’s not any less horrible when you say it.”
Jonah might have given in to the initial shock of fear that struck him, but the sting of her word choice short-circuited him. Maybe they hadn’t been together long enough to feel solid in their relationship, but if they loved each other, could they call her pregnancy horrible?
“I know it’s unplanned and ill-timed, but it doesn’t have to be a disaster.”
“How, Jonah? A baby now will completely derail everything I’m trying to do. I keep doing this to myself. One step forward, eight steps back.”
His panic surged. “You don’t want the baby.”
Her eyes flew to meet his. “I’m kicking myself for being so stupid. The idea of a baby is always more of a fairy tale than having one. Last time, I didn’t handle it well.”
“You were younger.”
“I hated it, Jonah. I hated being a mother then. Olivia would cry and cry. I felt…trapped. Things are different now with my daughter, but a baby?”
“Are you thinking about having an abortion?”
With her eyes squeezed shut, Shannon clutched around her waist. “No.”
Jonah sighed in relief. If she hadn’t wanted their baby, he didn’t know what he’d do. Of course, the choice was hers. He knew he wouldn’t have the right to interfere, but that didn’t mean he would have just accepted it—or ever gotten over it.
“Whatever you’re worried about, I’ll be here to help. You won’t be by yourself this time.”
“I wasn’t by myself last time. Jeff was there for me. His parents helped. I still couldn’t handle it. No one had ever taken care of me, and I didn’t know how to take care of anyone else.”
“You’re different now.”
“What if I’m not?”
“Just asking that of yourself means you’re different. You’re older now, and I’m not some young, wet-behind-the-ears kid like Jeff probably was.”
“Your parents are going to hate me.”
Tom and Sheila already hated her. Jonah knew that. He could work on his mother. Once she put the disappointment over his choice behind her, she’d be glad to have a grandchild. She hated Vivienne’s being gay at first, but she adapted.
His father would never adapt. His disdain for Shannon would only intensify.
“I’ll deal with my parents. Don’t think about them. Think about us.”
Jonah stood up and came to Shannon’s side, sitting in the chair next to her.
“Look at me.”
Shannon turned her chair sideways to face Jonah.
“This will be okay.”
“You’re not panicked at all?”
“Of course, I’m panicked. My heart is in my throat, but I’m also kind of excited.”
He picked up her hands and pressed them between his palms. Shannon stared at him. Worry creased her face, but one corner of her mouth tilted up in a small smile. “Me too. A little bit. Between feeling like I’m going to throw up and wanting to run away and hide.”
“No running away.” He kissed her fingertips.
“What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out.”
Thoughts of marriage flashed and then faded in Jonah’s mind over and over. He loved her, but he wasn’t ready to get married. He figured they�
�d have time to let their relationship evolve. The baby pushed the issue forward.
Tears streamed down Shannon’s face, and she sniffled.
“Why are you crying?”
“You’re so good to me. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
Jonah pressed a firm kiss on each of Shannon’s hands. “Neither do I.”
Shannon’s shoulders relaxed, and she laughed. “Olivia will be over the moon about having another baby brother or sister.”
Jonah grinned. “She’ll be bossing the baby around in no time.”
“She will.” Shannon sighed. “We can’t tell anyone yet, though. It’s still early.”
“Oh, I didn’t even ask when you’re due.”
She laughed again. “July 4. That’s only an estimate. My doctor says that once she does a sonogram that could change.”
“An Independence Day baby. I like it, and don’t worry. We can take some time to get used to the idea—just the two of us and then think about how and when to tell everyone. I’ve been thinking about going away for a weekend. Maybe head up to Oregon, I have a house up there. We can see about doing that in a few weeks.”
“Oregon?”
“I went to Portland and toured around the area and fell in love, so I bought a house.”
“In Portland?”
“Near Portland, closer to Mount Hood. It’s surrounded by trees, right on stream. It’s relaxing and beautiful. You’ll love it.”
“I’ll have to see about my work schedule, but that sounds amazing.”
Jonah wanted to tell her not to worry about work, but he knew jumping in and offering to pay her bills would only freak her out. He wouldn’t have Shannon wobbling around with a pregnant belly straining under trays of food. Her on her feet all day was insane. If it were up to him, she’d quit that job immediately.
But Shannon wouldn’t put up with that. He would ease her into the idea that her primary responsibility was to take care of herself and their baby. His primary responsibility was to make sure she had everything she needed in order to do that.
He smoothed her brow with his thumb.
“There’s no reason for you to worry about anything, and you have to promise me that you’ll come to me if you have any problems or if you need anything. Don’t think you’re being brave by going it on your own. I’m here for you completely. Promise me.”
Shannon hesitated. “I promise.”
The fear in her eyes only grew each time he vowed to support her. Jonah felt lost as to how to fix that, but he promised himself he would.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Glad to only work the midday shift, Shannon bolted out of the dining room right at three o’clock. Kim followed her, whooping once they reached the employee storage room.
Neither had a chance to eat lunch, so they walked two doors down from the Scarlet Maple to a Tex-Mex place, where Kim immediately ordered a margarita.
“I love this job, and you know how much better it is here than at Wal-Mart, but some days I can’t wait to get out of there.”
“I know. Is it me or was there an asshole explosion today? I had a guy ask me for my number, and when I said no, he said, ‘Guess you’re not that interested in a tip then?’ He laughed and stared at me like he was waiting for me to laugh too. Yeah, because joking about cutting my pay for not doing you is so, so funny.”
“Did he tip?”
“Ten percent. What a pig.”
“Ugh. I’m so sick of men right now. I was seeing this guy, and things were going well, I thought. Then, I ran into him with another woman. I get up closer, and I see him wearing a wedding ring, and so is she—and they had their kid with them. This is what I get going on dates with guys I meet on Tinder.”
“Tinder is full of married men. I wouldn’t waste my time.”
“Easy for you to say. Your boyfriend showed up for you at work. I haven’t had any luck with that, and there’s no place else to meet decent guys these day. It’s depressing.”
Shannon shrugged. “I have no ideas. My track record isn’t any better than yours. Worse probably.”
“You had one bad egg. Your first husband sounds like a good guy, and Jonah is a good guy. You’re luckier than you think.”
“That’s one way to look at it.”
Never in her life had Shannon considered herself lucky with men, but Kim’s perspective wasn’t wrong. The sad trail of guys between Jeff and Jonah all had one thing in common. She met them while high, drunk, or both. Maybe she made her own luck.
“How are things with Jonah? He still comes in all the time, and he always looks for you as soon as he gets here. It’s cute.”
Shannon smiled nervously. “Good. We’re getting closer.”
“What does that mean? You met his parents, right?”
“Yes, a few weeks ago. They don’t like me much. They want Jonah to date some prim and proper society girl—like his ex-girlfriend.”
“You met his ex-girlfriend? When?”
“At the same charity shindig. Her name is Emily, and she was talking with Jonah’s mother, who fawned all over her.”
“As long as Jonah wasn’t fawning over her.”
“He wasn’t. Jonah is sweet and romantic.” Shannon remembered him singing to her on her birthday. He told her he loved her all the time. A few months ago, their relationship involved her pouring him coffee and him barely looking up from his phone to smile and nod. Now, she was pregnant, and he talked like he wanted a future with her.
“Whew! The look on your face! You are so in love with him. Damn.”
“I am. It’s crazy. We’ve only been going out a couple of months. This whole situation is totally insane.”
Inexplicably, tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. Shannon dabbed at her eyes with the corner of her napkin. Kim twisted up her mouth and stared at her.
“What’s going on? You look happy one minute. Now you’re crying. What, are you pregnant?”
Kim laughed, and Shannon forced herself to join her. She didn’t want anyone at work knowing anything about her condition yet.
“Yeah. That’d be a great idea. So what are you ordering?”
Enchiladas and guacamole made a much better topic of conversation than Shannon’s rollercoaster emotions or—God, help her—pregnancy. They ordered, and Kim circled right back to their social lives.
“Does Jonah have a brother?”
“No brother. He has sister. She’s gay and available.”
Kim grinned. “Not my cup of tea. Friends even?”
“I met one of his friends at the ball, but that guy lives in Austin. I haven’t met any other of his friends. We spend most of our time together.”
Kim shook her head. “You need to get him to take you out with his friends. Don’t let him hide you at home.”
“He’s not hiding me. We’re just spending most of our time together, and I do kind of know one of his other friends—this guy Nick—but he’s friends with my first ex. I’m not hankering to spend time with people on my ex-husband’s team.”
Defensiveness crept in Shannon’s voice. Jonah hadn’t ever taken her out with anyone in his social circle, nor had he invited her to his parents’ house for their semi-regular Friday dinners. She knew nothing much about his social existence.
“Whatever. Just make sure he’s including you in his life—all of it. That’s when you know for sure that this thing is getting serious.”
It didn’t get more serious than having a baby with somebody, and Jonah had barely blinked when she told him about the pregnancy. All he wanted to do was take care of her.
Shannon didn’t doubt that Jonah was serious, but she wondered if he wasn’t a little bit ashamed of her. She’d bet Emily had gone to dinner at his parents’ all the time.
Shannon leaned back to let their waiter set a plate of chicken nachos in front of her, then nibbled on the corner of a tortilla chip.
Her isolation from the rest of Jonah’s life would have to stop. Step one was dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Mora
n—who hated her. Not that she’d been fond of them either, but if they were going to be grandparents to her baby—or her in-laws—they’d have to get used to each other sooner or later.
* * *
As soon as Shannon got home, she called Jonah, but then didn’t know what to say. She stuttered, wishing she thought more before dialing his number.
“Umm, I’ve kind of been thinking about something. I don’t really know any of your friends, and your parents, I’ve only met them once.”
“You want to meet my friends. We can do that. Maybe have some people over. We can host it together.”
Jonah’s ready optimism gave Shannon the confidence to push him.
“But what about your parents?”
“You met my parents.”
“I know, but I don’t know anything about them really, and they’re…your parents. Why haven’t you taken me to one of their dinners?”
The silence stretched so long that Shannon flipped her phone over to make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
“They’re difficult, and I didn’t want to put you through that.”
“Through dinner? I think I can handle a dinner.”
“I know, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“Or you don’t want to be embarrassed.”
“That’s not it, Shannon.”
“Isn’t it? I’ll bet you had no problem with any of your other girlfriends spending time with your parents.”
“That’s different. I didn’t care what my parents thought of my other girlfriends.”
“And you’re certain that they’ll hate me. Maybe if they got to know me, they’d start to like me—or at least get used to me.”
More silence.
“Whether they like me or not, if we get…continue our relationship, we’ll have to spend time together.”
“You’re right,” he groaned.
“Don’t get so excited, Jonah. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“Honestly, Shannon, I don’t want you to hate them either. I don’t want you to hold them against me. They can be so…”