by Kris Jayne
Emily rolled her glazed eyes. “We talk every couple of weeks. Maybe more. We’re still friends. That’s allowed.”
“It’s odd, and it’s doubly strange for you to discuss my love life with my mother, whether it involves you or not.”
“She just said you two called it quits and that this girl did a number on you. She’s an idiot for that, by the way. She should have known how good she had it, but I guess that’s a pattern with her. I’ve heard her story from her ex-husband. She left her little girl. Just left. What kind of woman is that?”
Emily must be well into her drink, which surprised Jonah. She never drank much. Or maybe that was the problem. She wasn’t normally one to run her mouth or be catty. It didn’t suit her.
“You don’t know anything about Shannon or her life. Whatever Jeff told you, I’m sure he told you in confidence as his daughter’s teacher.”
Emily’s lolling eye roll scared Jonah for a second. He thought she might pass out. Her head dropped forward, eyes on him again.
“I know that it’s New Year’s Eve, and you’re here with your wingman—not her. And now you’re with me. You wandered into the weeds, but I knew you’d find your way back to…flowers and a proper lawn.” Unable to complete her metaphor with finesse, she spread her hands wide as if indicating a pastoral expanse.
Graham overheard Emily’s diatribe and piped in. “Excuse me? In what universe am I his wingman? That might be the most insulting thing you’ve said.”
“No. Calling Shannon a weed and assuming that I’m some predictable simpleton are worse. You just think everything is about you.”
Graham shrugged. “Whatever.”
“I only meant that I can’t believe you could be serious about someone like her. Your mother told me the same thing, and she’d know you. She’s your mother.”
“I think you’re better off dating my mother. She always adored you, and you seem hot to study under her tutelage.”
Jonah narrowed his eyes at her and stepped back. She hung onto his cuffs.
“Wait. I’m sorry. Maybe I’ve had one too many drinks. I want to talk. Let’s go somewhere else.”
Emily dropped her head back and look up at him, welcoming with her wide eyes and parted lips.
“I’m not taking you home with me.”
“So, take me somewhere else.”
Jonah pulled her hands from his body, more depressed than angry. He and his sour demeanor should have stayed home. The champagne was better, and the atmosphere less headache inducing.
Graham quit chatting with one of Emily’s friends and punched Jonah’s shoulder.
“This one’s putting you in a bad mood.” He pointed at Emily. “We’re saying goodbye. Goodbye, Emily.”
She pouted and sputtered something that Jonah couldn’t hear more than three feet away from her. Graham tipped his head and hand to her and dragged Jonah to the other side of the room.
“No looking back. Look forward. We’ll find you someone else.”
“I’m not hooking up with some random woman.”
“Why not?”
“Because my girlfriend is pregnant. It’s too weird.”
“It would be if she were your girlfriend. But she’s not. She’s a woman who cheated on you with some scumbag, right? Am I crazy or is that not the story you told me? Doing what’s right doesn’t mean you live like a monk. I’m not saying find the love of your life tonight and marry her. I’m saying, pick one and fuck one.”
My one’s not here. Jonah knew better than to say it out loud.
“I’m glad you got me out of the house tonight, Graham, but I’m heading home.”
“We still have over an hour until midnight. Stay. You don’t have to fuck anybody. Get a New Year’s kiss and then leave.”
“Nope. I’m relieving you of your wingman duties.”
“That is so wrong.” Graham’s white smile glowed under a nearby black light. “You want me to come with you? We can have beers at your place and watch one of those shitty specials on TV.”
“I want you to stay and have fun. I’ll catch a taxi or Uber home.”
Graham took him by the shoulder and gave him a man hug. Jonah bobbed and weaved his way out the door, then ordered a ride home.
A kick of wind braced him, and he inhaled the chill. Forget Emily and all those others. The rumblings of parties thankfully in the distance, he cleared his head in the relative quiet of the empty street, and that clarity gave him purpose.
* * *
New Year’s Day dawned crisp and sunny. Shannon woke up early at the hotel, grabbed some breakfast from the buffet, and drove to pick up Olivia for weekend visitation.
“Sorry, she’s not quite ready yet. She’s still getting dressed,” Jeff explained, closing the door behind Shannon as she crossed the threshold of his house. His sandy hair spiked in different directions, and he seemed flustered. “You mind waiting in the kitchen? Taryn’s in there making black-eyed peas for New Year’s.”
“Is it ready yet? I could always use some good luck.”
The Southern tradition of having black-eyed peas and greens on January 1 was supposed to ensure good luck and money. Both sounded good to Shannon.
“Not yet.”
“Shoot. Maybe I’ll get my own today. Liv and I can eat at Black-Eyed Pea or something.”
Jeff laughed. “If it’s okay, I need to head back to my office. I’m in the middle of developing something, and I’m really in the flow.”
“No wonder you’re looking like the absent-minded professor. Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”
He grinned. “Thanks.”
Shannon’s boots clacked on the marble floor, softening when she got to the hardwood of the hall between the kitchen and the living room.
“Hey, Taryn.”
“Good morning.”
“Are you making greens, too?” Shannon inhaled the smell of ham and onions.
Taryn nodded and lifted the lid off a pot on the stove. “I’m cooking collards with a couple of smoked turkey legs and doing the peas with ham hocks. My cousin is coming over.”
“Damn, that sounds good. All you need is cornbread.”
“Also on the menu for lunch.” Taryn pointed to a greased nine by thirteen dish.
“Cooking all day today?”
“Probably. You’d think I’d be done with all the holiday eating by now, but no. Still eating like a pig.”
“How was dinner last night?” Shannon’s breath caught in her throat as she spoke.
Jeff had told her that he was taking Taryn and Olivia out for a five-course dinner at a restaurant for New Year’s Eve. At the time, she figured she would have her own special plans.
“Wonderful. We got home around nine thirty and watched TV with the intent of ringing in the new year with a pregnancy-appropriate toast. That didn’t so much happen. I think Jeff was the only one still awake. Olivia had a good time, though, even if she didn’t make it until midnight. What did you do last night?”
“I stayed in and watched the New Year’s celebrations on TV. It looked cold and crowded and like being warm in my pajamas at home—or at the hotel—was way more fun.”
“Probably. Those crowds are crazy. When are you moving back into your apartment?”
“Maybe another two weeks max. Hopefully, sooner.”
“Is the insurance company going to keep paying for your hotel?”
“They don’t have a choice. I had to go back and clear out anything else I wanted to keep once they shored up the roof. Then, they estimated all that I lost and cut me a check.”
Initially, Shannon planned to pocket the money and stay living with Jonah. Now, she would have to refurnish the apartment.
“That’s good.” Taryn grinned briefly, then cleared her throat. “You and Jonah didn’t do anything last night?”
“No. We didn’t. I don’t think that’s going to work out.”
“Oh,” Taryn’s voice held mild surprise, disappointment, and something else Shannon couldn’t place. �
�I thought you two were cute together.”
Taryn’s gaze drifted to Shannon’s midsection. Shannon pulled on the hem of her shirt. Did Taryn know?
“‘Fraid so. It’s probably better that it happened now before I got anymore attached.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Shannon, but you seem pretty…attached.”
“How did you know?”
The petite blonde’s brows tilted upward, and she sighed. “So, it’s true? You’re pregnant?”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“Ever since you got sick here at Halloween, I suspected. You looked just like I have with my morning sickness. Over the past few weeks, you’ve worn all these loose shirts and sweaters. I didn’t know for sure. And I don’t know that I would have noticed except that I’ve been going through the same changes.”
“Well, I’m pregnant again. I’m not really showing yet, but I’ve been a little paranoid.” Shannon bit her lip. She was not going to cry again. All this emotion frustrated her, and she stifled the urge to scream.
“That doesn’t matter to Jonah? That’s surprising. Everything I’ve known about him is about his family. For better or worse, he takes all of that very seriously, and with his family, that isn’t easy.”
“He checks on me. The thing is that…” Shannon leaned against the counter as her chest constricted. “You can’t tell anyone about this. It’s too embarrassing. Not even Jeff. Especially not Jeff. Never mind. I can’t talk about this.”
“God, Shannon, what is it?” Taryn dropped her stirring spoon with a clang into the deep pot.
“I need to run to the bathroom.”
Shannon turned heel and ran to the site of her Halloween meltdown, slamming the door and fumbling for the light switch. The sudden illumination put her face to face with herself in the bathroom mirror. Horror tinged the fullness of her face with red.
The test had to come back in her favor. It had to. How could she face all of these people in her life, forced to admit that she’d had sex with someone else? All those looks of pity mixed with disgust?
Perfect Taryn did everything right in her life—marrying Jeff, moving into their amazing house, settling in, and then having a baby. Going to college and having a good job.
Shannon didn’t hate Taryn—anymore—and the jealousy had faded. But the envy—the wishing that she herself could make better choices and not let her passions run away with her or allow toxic people into her life—that remained. Earning Taryn’s judgment bothered Shannon so much because, ultimately, she respected Taryn as much as she coveted her life.
Shannon stared into her own shining blue eyes. Jeff once told her that she was running out of chances to do better. Each wrong turn took her further away from her destination. It wasn’t my fault, Shannon thought to herself, then said it out loud to the woman in the mirror.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
In her dark moments of self-loathing, she struggled to remember that. She’d have to remember that when the world looked at her like slut and a fool for being unmarried and pregnant with a child whose father was just a random someone.
“It’s not your fault. You have to know that. You have to keep your head up,” she whispered to frightened woman staring back at her. “And you have to pull it together because today is a New Year, and you’re spending it with your baby girl.”
Shannon closed her eyes and tightened every muscle in her body, then released the tension. Once, and then twice, shaking out her limbs.
She would allow herself these pitiable moments, but then she had to move on.
Opening the bathroom door, Shannon could hear, but not see, her daughter excitedly talking about what they might do today.
“Mommy said we could go to a movie.”
“I did say that. Did you pick something out?”
“Not yet.”
Taryn stepped in. “Jeff!” she yelled, then tried the intercom in the kitchen. “I keep forgetting we have this.”
Jeff wandered in from his office still with the glazed look he had when he got lost in his work.
“Sweetie, go get on the computer with your Dad and find a movie. There’s one more thing I wanted to talk to your mom about.”
Olivia glanced at her mom and warily stepped forward.
“That’s a good idea. We need to finish our conversation.” Shannon shoved as much brightness into her tone as she could muster.
Jeff flicked his eyes between the two women, looking well past wary and full-tilt afraid, but took his daughter’s hand and led her off down the hall.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, Shannon. It’s none of my business. I know that, but I need to know that nothing is seriously wrong.”
Shannon huffed. “I’m fine. I am. I have these moments where my situation overwhelms me. I forgot how emotional,” Shannon paused and glanced over her shoulder to make sure Jeff and Olivia were out of earshot, “being pregnant makes you.”
“Okay. On some level, this is exciting, right?” Taryn stepped toward Shannon with a face full of forced encouragement and touched Shannon’s hand.
“Oh, life is full of excitement,” Shannon replied sardonically, taking a deep breath. “The thing is, Taryn, I’m not one hundred percent sure Jonah is the father.”
“What do you mean?” Taryn gripped Shannon’s hand harder.
“I went back to Mineola for a friend’s funeral, and someone put something in my drink. This guy was there, and I don’t remember what happened, but apparently, he had sex with me.”
Blurting out the truth in simple terms whittled away some of the compacted shame inside her.
“Shannon, that’s terrible. You had no idea something was in your drink?” Taryn’s words came at Shannon in a modulated tone with a tiny blip of hesitation.
Shannon gritted her teeth and snatched away from Taryn. “I swear on Olivia’s life that I didn’t take anything or drink anything on purpose. One of the girls there thought it would be funny since I wasn’t drinking along with everyone else and wanted to stay sober.”
“If that’s what you say, then okay.”
“Right. You sound real convinced. This is why I didn’t want to say anything. God. The look on your face,” Shannon snarled.
“Look. I believe you. I just—”
“You just what?” Shannon glared.
“I had a fraction of a second of wondering maybe. I’ll admit that, but I believe you. I’m sorry. What happened is awful.”
Taryn’s face softened. She reached a tentative hand out to Shannon and stroked her forearm.
Shannon exhaled. “Thank you.”
“I don’t say this to doubt you, but did you think about going to the police?”
“No. I don’t want to go through all of that. You know how that’s likely to turn out.”
“Maybe, but at least if he got arrested, he’d have that on his record.”
“No. Maybe that’s not the answer people want, but I don’t want to.”
“Doesn’t Jonah want you to go to the police? Or, wait, why would he be mad at you? Are you mad at him? I still don’t get…You haven’t told him.” Taryn’s mouth moved faster than her brain and then caught up.
“No. I didn’t get a chance. I had to tell him that he might not be the father, and he didn’t wait around for the rest.”
“But you’ve seen him since then.”
“You didn’t hear the things he said to me. If I slept with someone else, it’s only what he should have expected from someone like me. No—I’m not going to beg him to think I’m good enough for him. I asked him if he would listen to my side of the story. He said no. Or actually, he called me a scheming bitch and then said no. We’re done.”
She choked on the last two words, but their truth sank in more each day.
“He didn’t mean that. He couldn’t. He was just mad.”
“Would Jeff ever say something like that to you?”
“He’s come close. Trust me. Love doesn’t always mean you’re a
s nice as you should be. Jonah cares about you. I could tell that when he was here.”
Taryn stepped away from Shannon and went to the pantry to pull out a bag of cornmeal.
The lump in Shannon’s throat grew larger. “He doesn’t care enough. Clearly.”
“What are you going to do?”
“We had a paternity test. I should know this week one way or the other. It’ll work out somehow. I’ve got experience hanging on and fighting. That’s one thing I have in my corner.”
“That’s not all you’ve got. You have friends. You have me and Jeff,” Taryn insisted, slapping the bag of meal on the counter.
Shannon’s dry chuckle seemed to offend Taryn. “Seriously, you can count on us to help anyway we can. I know you and I aren’t best friends. Probably never will be, but you’re family—to Olivia, to Jeff, and to me.” Taryn pursed her lips. “Don’t look so skeptical!”
Shannon forced the smirk from her face. Her ex-husband’s petite wife stood ramrod straight, hands on her hips. When Taryn put her mind to something, make it easier for everyone and just clear out of the way. Shannon knew that from experience.
She raised her hands in surrender. “Okay. You’re in my corner.”
Taryn launched herself toward Shannon with a hug.
“Do me a favor, though?” Shannon asked in a low voice. “Don’t tell Jeff anything yet. I’d just as soon not have people knowing about this when it may not be necessary to say anything at all. I still think it’s more than likely the baby is Jonah’s, and definitely don’t say anything to Olivia about the pregnancy until I know for sure.”
“You’re right. Jonah’s being the dad makes more sense. I won’t say a peep, but either way, though, let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. I should go check on Olivia.” Shannon bent over and snapped up Olivia’s brightly colored backpack. Taryn stumbled in for another hug, which made Shannon laugh.
“Hey, we gotta hug while we can. You know how small I am. Between the two of us, my arms won’t reach for much longer.”
Taryn’s big heart elicited from Shannon the thousandth set of teary eyes in the past week.