Her gaze fluttered to the floor. “I’ll have to get rid of it. Have to. My parents would go postal if they found out.”
Natalie carefully kept her expression blank, though her stomach clenched at the words. She zipped through countless other questions, from substance use to family relationships to dreams and goals. That’s when Linn finally opened up.
“I’m going to college in the fall. I got a full scholarship to Indiana University, and I mean room and board and everything.” Her chin came up a bit.
“That’s great, Linn, congratulations. What will you be studying?”
“Psychology.” She smiled for the first time and wiggled her brows up and down. “I want to see what makes people tick.”
“Well, when you find out, let me know, okay?”
Natalie tried to draw her out for a few more minutes, tried to put her at ease. When Linn’s shoulders curled forward and her hands lay loosely on her lap, Natalie asked the last questions, the most important ones.
“Can you tell me what your religious background is like? Do you belong to a church or synagogue?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. My grandma is Catholic,” she offered feebly.
Natalie jotted it down. “How is your relationship with God?”
Her leg stopped bouncing. “Oh. It’s fine, good.” She nodded her head vigorously.
Linn gave vague answers to the last questions concerning religion, and Natalie knew the girl needed Christ. Use me, Father.
“Well, you’ll be happy to know we’re finished playing Twenty Questions.” She pulled a release form from the desk and handed it to Linn. “I’ll need your signature on this form. Basically it says you understand this is not a medical facility and that the pregnancy test may be inconclusive.”
As Linn read the form, Natalie retrieved the pregnancy test and slid its contents onto the table. When Linn handed her the signed form, Natalie gave her the instruction sheet and explained what to do. Linn went to the adjoining bathroom with the plastic cup in hand.
Natalie watched the door shut and closed her eyes. Lord, my heart is burdened for this young woman. She doesn’t know You, and she doesn’t know right from wrong. Father, if it’s possible, let the test be negative. I don’t want to see another tiny life snuffed out, and I don’t want to see another woman scarred with the consequences. Yet, not as I will, Lord, but as You will.
A few moments later, Linn returned with the urine sample and set it on the paper towel Natalie had laid out. Next, she opened the foil wrapper and pulled out the test cassette and dropper. She dipped the dropper into the urine, releasing the bulb to pull up the liquid. Pausing, with her hand over the test cassette, she looked at Natalie. “Four drops?” Her voice quivered.
“Yes.” Natalie indicated the correct spot on the cassette. “Right in there.” She pointed to the test window. “This other one is the window to watch. If there’s a pink line there in five minutes, it means you’re pregnant.”
Linn’s hand shook as she squeezed out the drops. When she was finished, she straightened and looked at Natalie.
“All righty.” Natalie grabbed the egg timer and set it for five minutes. It began ticking off time. “I’ll set the test over here where we can forget about it. Want a soda?” She smiled sympathetically. “This can be the longest five minutes of your life if you don’t have something to do.”
“No, thanks.” The girl sat back down, and Natalie sat across from her.
Linn tilted her head back against the wall. “I can’t be pregnant; I just can’t.”
“Well, we’ll know in a few minutes, and if you are, there’s a lot we can do to help you.”
“You know somewhere I could get an abortion cheap? I don’t have much money.”
Cold fingers squeezed Natalie’s gut until it was compacted into a hard knot. “If there is a pregnancy, this is a time of crisis. You’re scared, confused. I know you just want this to be over with, but abortion doesn’t solve that problem. It only creates new ones.
The girl noticed a picture on the wall. It was a photo of a newly formed baby. Just as quickly, she looked away.
“All the organs have formed; the heart is beating. It’s not what you’d expect so early, is it?”
The young woman focused her attention on the test, though she couldn’t see the windows from her seat. “There’s just no way I’m ready to be a parent, and my dad’s been telling me since I was twelve what would happen if I ever got knocked up.”
Natalie offered what she hoped was a comforting smile. She wanted so badly to reach out to Linn, but she felt Linn closing up and changed the topic. “Did you graduate this past spring?”
“Yeah. With high honors. That’s how I got the scholarship.”
“That’s wonderful, Linn. Your parents must be very proud.”
She snorted. “They’re just glad I’m cutting out in the fall.” Linn tossed her dark hair as if that didn’t bother her.
Natalie knew better. “Did you participate in any activities in high school?”
Linn shrugged. “Didn’t have time. I worked part-time and had to keep up with homework.” Linn glanced toward the timer. “How much time left?”
“Three minutes.” Natalie gave a sympathetic smile. “They creep by, don’t they?”
Linn’s leg bounced up and down as she looked around the room. Natalie didn’t have to turn around to know what she was seeing. Charts of a baby’s development from conception on, pamphlets on adoption, the bulletin board with pictures of clients and their babies. That was her favorite. Tangible evidence of the lives they’d helped touch and change.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Natalie asked.
A faraway look entered her eye. “Nope. Just me.”
Natalie smiled. “I always wanted to be an only child. Especially when my sisters were aggravating me.”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
Natalie searched for a new topic. “What made you decide to be a psychology major?”
“I don’t know. I like to guess what people are thinking, why they do things and stuff. I want a real job, you know? A career. I want to dress up when I go to work and have people respect me.”
“Sure, that’s understandable.”
Linn’s eyes flittered toward the timer.
“One minute left,” Natalie said. “There’ll be a pink line in the reference window, and if there’s a pink line under it, the result is positive. Also, understand that sometimes, if you’re pregnant, but there’s not enough of the pregnancy hormone, the test can still read negative.”
“How accurate is it?”
“The instruction pamphlet says 99 percent.”
Linn’s brows ticked up, then down again, and she began twisting a ring on her finger.
“That’s pretty. Can I see it?”
Linn held out her hand. A sapphire shimmered on the gold band. “It’s beautiful. Is that your birthstone?”
Linn’s eyes clouded. “No, I—”
The timer dinged, and Linn’s startled gaze met Natalie’s.
“Well, let’s go see, shall we?”
They walked over to the table. The phone rang in the other room, and Natalie heard Amanda answer it. When they rounded the examination bed, Natalie could see the test cassette, could see clearly the test results. She stepped aside, allowing Linn to come near.
The girl’s eyes fixed on the test. Natalie could see the moment she understood. Her eyes widened for just a moment before they closed. When she opened them, she looked at Natalie, her eyes lit with desperation. “I’m pregnant.”
Use the following pages to journal the story of your own personal experiences with forgiving others and being forgiven.
JOURNAL
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Mending Places Page 29