I suck in a breath.
“And when I got the call from the hospital here, saying you’d tried to cut your wrist . . . that you’d . . .” But he can’t seem to say the rest. He just looks at me with so much anguish that I feel like my insides are caving in.
We sit in silence for several seconds, maybe minutes. Questions roll through me, but the shock of it all won’t let me form any coherent thoughts.
Then the words float from my mouth before I can tell they’re even there. “I didn’t try and kill myself.”
He stares at me.
“A boy was possessed with a demon, and that’s what tried to kill me.” His mouth opens a little in shock, but he doesn’t look doubtful so I keep going. “And the same demon that was after me is the one that killed Charlie.”
And then he says the strangest thing I could’ve imagined. “Did Aidan destroy it?”
I’m not sure I heard his question right, but I answer, “No. I trapped it. How do you know about Aidan?” How does he know about any of this? And how is he not shocked about Charlie?
“Things happened when you were missing. Aidan, well, he saved me. And then seeing that thing that looked like Charlie take you away in the parking lot . . . it all became so clear, what you’ve been dealing with, what Aidan can do, what your mother . . . what she was seeing. It’s all connected.”
“Wait,” I scoot closer to him, something like hope welling up inside of me. “So you know, about all the demons and how Aidan can fight them? You know about me?”
“I know some things, enough to open my eyes to your strange behavior. I had a gut feeling that something was off a few weeks ago, which is why I went back to the East Coast to visit your mother’s family. That’s when your grandmother gave me these.” He touches the envelope with my name on it.
“You weren’t working, you were visiting my grandmother?” I have a grandmother?
Wow, he’s a really good liar. I never even suspected him of weaving so many tales. I guess now I know where I get it.
He ignores my question, saying, “The hospital gave these to your grandmother, saying your mother left them for you and Charlie. They’re letters; she wrote them over the years, when she could—I never knew about them. And I haven’t read them.” He stares down at the envelope, touching the edge of it with his finger. “I never told her that Charlie . . . that he was gone. I didn’t want to hurt her.”
“What was wrong with her?” I dare to ask.
He releases a long breath. “The episodes came on suddenly when she became pregnant with you. She claimed she saw things, that these strange beings would come to her in her sleep, and she would hear voices when we went out. She didn’t want to take medication because she was worried that it would hurt you, so she made me promise to restrain her if she became too upset, and she made it through the pregnancy. It was very rough on her physically, though, and when you were born, she nearly died. After the birth she seemed better, more herself again. But then the episodes came back, right around your third birthday. That’s when she insisted on going home and seeing her mother’s doctors. Not long after that, she was committed.”
He rubs the back of his neck, looking agitated. “They wouldn’t let me see her. It was wrong, I know it was, what they did to her. She should have been with me.”
“I wish you would’ve told me.” Maybe I could have met her. The idea of all those lost years, the lost moments I could have had—I could have at least met her and had one memory . . . it was all stolen from me.
“It was wrong of me to lie,” he says. “I’ve been a fool for so long. Then you disappeared and Aidan helped me and . . . I just understood. It all became clear.”
There are so many things to say, so much I need to tell him still, but I’m tired. “I need to think,” I say. “And sleep.” I want to sleep forever, to put all the mess of the last few days behind me. I want to understand how everything he said could be true. A part of me is relieved; it answers so many questions. But it raises a hundred more. I was blessed by an angel, and my mother was cursed.
“Please believe, I’m very sorry, Emery.”
I lie back in the bed and pull the duvet over me, sinking into the mattress. “I know.” I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
“From now on I won’t lie to you.”
I close my eyes and wish I could promise the same.
FIFTY
Aidan
I sit up in a rush, gasping, coughing. Fiery air rakes through my lungs, burning in my chest. I try to open my eyes but I’m blinded by dark splotches. I hear movement, a chair scraping against carpet and footsteps running away.
“You’ve returned,” a calm voice says. It’s deep and steady, and completely unfamiliar.
I turn my head and squint at whoever spoke. The figure is a blur of light-brown clothes and dark hair. But as my vision begins to clear a wave of dizziness overtakes me, and I have to close my eyes again and sink back down to my elbows. It’s like my body can’t quite understand what to do.
Quick footsteps come closer and Jax’s voice says, “Aw, shit, the bastard’s back!” And then he laughs along with someone else. But the laughter ebbs quickly. “Oh, uh, no offense, man.”
I open my eyes again to Jax and Raul. Jax is looking timidly at someone standing on the other side of the room. I’m in a bed. The warehouse apartment.
I focus on whoever made Jax get that uncomfortable look on his face.
My muscles tense.
Daniel. My father is standing next to my bed. My deathbed. He stares at me with a steady look in his light-hazel eyes.
I stare back, my head spinning again. What is he doing here?
Holly comes through the bedroom door, pushing Jax and Raul out of the way. She falls on me, hugging me tight. “You big dummy! What took you so long?”
I pat her on the back a few times before she pulls away.
“Where’s Kara?” I scratch from my throat.
“Right there,” Raul says, pointing to my other side. I turn and realize Kara’s right up against me, sleeping. She’s tucked so well into the blankets I didn’t see her.
Holly touches Kara’s shoulder. “Hey, sleepyhead.”
Kara turns her face up, stretching, dark circles around her eyes. She blinks and scrunches her face, like the small amount of light in the room is too much.
Holly nods toward me and Kara moves her head to look.
She makes a strangled sound in the back of her throat and covers her mouth with her hand, quick tears filling her bloodshot eyes. She gapes at me like she’s having trouble believing what she’s seeing. “Oh my God,” she says, weeping openly now. Then she hits me in the arm just before she leans in, kissing me full on the mouth.
“Oh . . . kay!” Jax says, standing and walking out. “I’m gone.”
“PDA overload,” Holly says. “Seriously.”
Raul releases a happy sigh. “So romantic.”
She tastes like her tears, like salt and sadness. It reminds me how close I was to leaving her, and my heart clenches. I made it back, though. I’m here.
I grip her before I pull way, so she’ll know how much I need to be close to her. I don’t want to stop focusing on her, or let her go, but I’m all too aware of the man standing a few feet away on my right. I sit up and lean my back against the wall and encourage Kara to settle against my chest.
Then I look over to Daniel. Why is he here?
This is a man who hasn’t had more than one conversation with me, a conversation where he warned me about my sister before he took off on some secret mission. And I haven’t heard from him since. The words from my death keep ringing in my ears, the presence telling me to remind my father that he’s loved. Looking at the ancient prophet, I can see he’s worn and weary.
I rub Kara’s arm and turn my attention back to her. I swallow, trying to soothe my dry throat. “Sorry I was gone so long.”
She touches her finger to the large new scar on my sternum, staying silent. But I can smell her
fear, her sorrow. I can’t imagine what she was thinking, lying beside my dead body. Again.
“How long?” I ask.
“Six hours,” Holly says.
Kara’s fingers grip my side tighter.
That’s a long time to be dead.
“It was horrible,” Raul says. “When Jax dragged your body out of the house, your chest had a hole in it. We thought . . . because of Finger that—” but the pain spills from him and stops his words.
Finger.
“Did . . .” I can’t seem to ask it. “Did he not . . . ?”
Holly and Raul shake their heads.
He’s the one who stayed on the other side. My gut hurts, thinking of it. It’s too much to let in.
“What about Connor?” I ask through the emerging pain.
“He came back almost immediately, even before DJ did,” Holly says.
Connor’s okay. Somehow he came back, just like the voice said. He chose to return. And he did it without me. “So the blogger’s all right?”
Raul releases a small laugh. “He’s a spaz, and he’s fine.”
“Cray to the sixth power,” Holly adds. “But he’s indebted to you. He told us he saw you in a dream and you brought him back from the dead. He has a creepy scar on his neck, so that’ll be a good reminder of how much he doesn’t wanna screw with your reputation anymore.”
“Plus, he thinks you’re dead,” Raul says. “He saw your body, and I know he was itching to take a picture, but he didn’t. I don’t think.”
I let the news soak in for a minute, relief about Connor and pain from knowing Finger’s gone mixing in my blood. But then I remember. “Where’s Sid?” His body, it was missing at the end.
They all look over at Daniel, and then Holly mumbles, “We’ll let him explain. I still don’t get it.” She touches my shoulder. “But you need to rest. Raul made some tamales, so I hope you’ve got an appetite.”
Raul smiles. “I’m discovering that I want to cook when I’m stressed.”
Holly and Raul leave the room but Kara stays. And Daniel. He just stands there.
I study him, wondering why he’s suddenly here in my life again, after trying so hard to stay away. His back is straight, shoulders square. The streetlights come in the window behind him, softening his edges and making him almost glow. He’s wearing tan linen pants and a shirt that could be called a tunic, and he has a thin layer of dust on him, lightening his dark hair, as if he just crawled out of a cave, or the desert.
Kara shifts and pulls from my arms. “I’m gonna let you guys talk.” She kisses me, then slides off the bed. She looks back several times as she leaves, like she’s making sure I’m still awake.
“Why are you here?” I ask once she’s slipped out.
Daniel turns away to look out the window. “I was pulled here by Ezra—your teacher, my student. I believe you call him Sid. I ignored his tug when it began, but then I felt the shift in the scales, and I knew you’d been cast down, so I came to your side.”
Even though his words are vague, I know what he means. “You felt me die.”
His head bows and he studies his hands. “I did.”
“But I’ve died before since you’ve . . . come back, and you didn’t show up.”
“You fell very far today, Aidan. I lost all sight of you. I thought you wouldn’t return. To be gone so long on the other side . . .”
I sit with his words for a minute, struggling to accept them. One, because even though I know it logically, it terrifies me to realize again how close I came to staying dead. And two, because it sounds like he’s been keeping tabs on me. Which shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. I assumed he’d decided to let me go.
“I was gone a long time,” I say quietly.
“You were.”
“And you came here to be sure I was all right?”
“I did.” He seems embarrassed by it when the words come. “And I stayed for Ezra as well. I wished to say good-bye to my old friend.”
“Why do you call Sid, Ezra?”
“I gave him the name Ezra when he was a boy and I took him under my wing.”
“What happened to him? Where is he? He was there in the house and then he was just gone.”
“He traveled to the spot where he knew he could pull me to him—a place you call the Devil’s Gate Dam. There is a time doorway there. He thought I could help you if he was quick enough. But the single journey cost him much, and he needed to be close to the doorway to reach me . . . it tore away at him.”
He teleported. “Is he . . . gone?” I swallow hard.
“Not yet,” Daniel says. “But I am surprised he’s still here. I think he was holding on in the hopes that you would return.”
“I need to see him,” I say, sliding off the bed and attempting to get my legs under me. It takes an amazing amount of energy just to stand, but with each deep breath I find myself more and more centered. This isn’t like the last time when the bird demon killed me. There’s a part of me not quite caught up with being in the land of the living again. A physical taxing I didn’t have last time. Not fatigue, but . . . weight. As if gravity is a million times stronger.
Daniel comes around the bed and lets me lean on him as we walk to the door. His smell, the feel of his strong arm holding mine, fills me with sudden emotion. “I am glad you were able to find your way back,” he says quietly as he leads me into the open area of the apartment.
I can only nod.
As we’re passing through the living room, the front door opens, and Connor and Rebecca come in. They both freeze. And I stare back, a shock running through me when I see Connor’s horrible scar.
“You’re alive,” Rebecca says quietly. She comes at me, grasping me in a hug tight enough to crush me. “I knew you wouldn’t stay gone,” she whispers into my shoulder.
“And you’re here, too,” I say, attempting to hug her back with my weak arms.
Connor takes me next and Daniel releases me, letting me lean on my friend.
“What happened, Connor?” I ask. “I couldn’t find you when I crossed over. You weren’t there.”
He steps back a little and gives me a curious look. “I thought I heard your voice.” He shakes his head like he’s not sure. “I’m not positive what happened. I was in this place where everything was dark. I felt myself needing to find Rebecca. And then I was sitting up and choking on blood.” He takes Rebecca’s hand and she gives him a surprised look.
“You came back for me?” she asks.
“Of course,” he says.
She moves to touch his arm, but then winces in pain, looking down at her feet. “I need to sit down.”
He helps her to the chair, and I see her discomfort now, realize there are bandages all over her. “What happened to you, Rebecca?”
Connor gives me a look, like I shouldn’t be asking so directly.
But she releases a tired sigh and leans back. “A lot.” I can tell she’s not willing to elaborate yet.
My thoughts stumble, and I realize I have no idea what’s next. I have no clue what my sister is doing now that her master is gone. That single event could change so much. She could have run. She could be trying to find me. She could believe I’m dead for good now. I have no idea if we’re out of danger or not.
Who am I kidding? We’re not out of danger.
“If you wish to say good-bye, Aidan . . .” Daniel says, reminding me why I’m out of bed. He nods to the second bedroom. The others are in there already, like they feel it, too.
Connor helps Rebecca up and Daniel helps me, and I search for my waning courage as we all make our way to my mentor’s side.
FIFTY-ONE
Aidan
I move slowly to the bed, the presence of death a fog of silver in the room. My heart hurts, looking at him. He’s become a wraith, his body terrifyingly thin, his skin now grey, stretching over jutting bones. He blinks, and I see the white coating his irises. He’s blind.
He looks around, like he heard me approaching. �
�You’re okay, boy,” he croaks out in Chaldean.
Kara’s sitting beside him on the bed, and Holly is beside her, Raul and Jax are in the corner, like they’re trying to hide.
Kara takes Sid’s skeletal hand in hers and looks at me with an ocean of sorrow in her eyes.
“I am,” I say, moving closer, despite my fear.
“Daniel, you see what a powerful young man he is,” Sid says, sounding very proud even in his weakness.
“I do,” Daniel responds in Chaldean. “You have done well, Ezra.”
Sid grows a satisfied smile. “Yes. I think I have.” He pulls in a difficult breath and then motions for me to take his hand. I obey and kneel beside the bed. “I wanted to save you,” he says, this time in English, so everyone can understand. “All of you. I am sorry I failed in the end.”
“You didn’t fail,” Kara says hurriedly.
He attempts to squeeze her hand. “Thank you, daughter.”
Fresh tears spill down her cheeks, and she leans over him and kisses his forehead, whispering, “I love you.”
We sit in silence, the only sound his labored breathing. Everyone seems to feel it, the way death is filling the room now. We stay close, all wanting him to know we’re here. Even Daniel moves to the foot of the bed, touching his student in comfort. I make myself watch the end come, as the last breath leaves Sid’s lungs. I watch his spirit coil into a ball of light and lift above his body, I make myself stay in the moment with him, and silently thank him. I thank him for saving my life. For giving me Kara. And for being the man who let me become who I am.
When he’s gone, heavy sorrow fogs the air. We stay close, not ready to let go. It’s a while before Connor moves the blanket to cover Sid’s face. The sun is rising in the sky when we all step away, numbly moving into the living room, holding hands, looking silently into the past, into a future without our keeper. We huddle together like wounded animals. Like a family would. And as I see the others begin to look to me for comfort, and ask me what’s next, I can almost feel Sid watching, giving me his look of I told you so.
A few hours later Daniel motions to me that he needs to leave. “Will you walk outside with me?” he asks.
Darkness Savage (The Dark Cycle Book 3) Page 29