He poked at the last couple of round oats in his bowl. “Why didn’t you tell him about Jessabelle? He didn’t deserve to know he had another child?”
She laid a weathered hand on his. “Look at me, Kai.”
He turned to see her still-bright blue eyes filled with tears. “What would it have done to the country? To your mother? To your family if he had known about Jessabelle all those years ago? He had already ended things with his mistress and told her in no uncertain terms he did not want to see her again. I heartily approved of the decision. He knew my position on his improprieties. We had more than one row about it. But when she came to see me a few days later, I could not leave her alone. She asked me to make sure her child ended up with a good family who would take good care of him or her. I knew Jessabelle’s parents were the right ones even before I knew she would be a girl.”
“And before the marriage contract was announced wouldn’t have been a good time to bring it up?”
“Oh please, Kai. Think that through.”
He knew she had a point, but he didn’t particularly care. He wanted to continue to wallow, to feel the full impact of his world flipping upside down.
His own words came back to him again. My value as a human being comes from being a child of the King. Not my father, but my Heavenly Father...You have value because you are a child of the King. Your worth has to come from Him, not in your title or status here on earth.
Or in his perceived status and title on earth. No one outside of his immediate family would ever know he was not his father’s child. To the rest of the world he would always be Prince Malachi Jedidiah Richard Louis Van Rensselaer of Mevendia. Even his wife, the true child of the King of Mevendia, would never consider him to be less than what he had always been.
For many years, he’d struggled with the idea of his worth being only in his title and his last name. As he’d told Jessabelle, over time, he’d come to terms with the fact that his worth had to be found in God alone, in his status as a joint heir with Christ, and not in earthly principalities.
So why couldn’t he convince himself his worth hadn’t plummeted upon the realization that he was a child of the king through a twist of fate and not due to his biology?
Chapter 38
If possible, the drive back to the palace was quieter than the drive there had been. Malachi continued to stew in his own thoughts, shutting her out of whatever discussions might be had.
As they pulled into Erres in front of the main part of the royal caravan. “Have you looked at your schedule this week?” he asked about a mile from the turn to go up the hill and onto palace grounds.
“I have a bunch of stuff going on,” she told him. Didn’t he usually know her schedule far better than she did?
“We have a couple of appearances together, right?”
“I think so.” Where was he going with this?
“I told Carson to cancel everything for me this week. I’m going out of town.”
Jessabelle tried to absorb his statement. “Pardon?”
“You heard me.” He sounded annoyed. “I’m going out of town. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to do the happy-faced prince thing. I can’t give one more speech about something that’s a great cause but I’m not passionate about. I need to figure some things out.”
There was nothing she could say except, “Where are you going?” and “How long will you be gone?”
“The Montevarian family’s mountain home. I don’t know how long.”
There was something else he wasn’t telling her, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. Deep inside, Jessabelle forced herself to remain calm. None of the events on the calendar this week were big or would make her too uncomfortable to attend alone. Maybe she could talk her sister-in-law into going with her to some of them.
“I’m leaving today,” he continued as he turned into the courtyard. “As soon as I can get a few things together.”
All she could do was nod and fight the feeling of abandonment deep inside. He needed more time to sort through everything, and she didn’t blame him. She did, too. The difference was that she would prefer to do it together. Or at least next to each other even if they processed it all in their own ways.
They walked in silence to their apartment. Jessabelle couldn’t watch him get his things ready to go. Instead, she went into the kitchen to get something to drink. While there, she decided she needed cookies and started to make some. If she hurried, she could send some with Malachi when he left.
But just as she pulled the first tray out of the oven, the door to the outer staircase slammed shut.
“Malachi?” she called, walking out of the kitchen and into the living area. No answer. She walked toward their room. “Malachi?” she called again as she walked in. A quick look through the bathroom and closet told her he had left. She hurried to the window overlooking the courtyard. Just in time. His car sped under the entry arch and only braked slightly to take the turn down the hill. Was his security team in front of him? They must be.
Jessabelle sighed and turned back to the apartment as the timer beeped again. The rest of the day passed, uneventful, until about four-thirty when a text came in asking her to come to dinner with his parents. Figured. Just after she’d finally changed into her comfy-I’m-not-leaving-and-no-one-will-see-me clothes. Debbie had already gone home for the day. She would be on her own.
After an hour in the closet, she finally chose flowing navy slacks and an emerald green silk top. She even found some accessories she was pretty sure she’d worn with them before.
Debbie had shown her a couple of simpler-than-they-looked hairdos to use for last minute occasions such as this one. Fifteen minutes before she needed to leave, she was ready. A once-then-twice-over in the full length mirror gave her more confidence than she could have expected. She was getting the hang of this thing.
With her heels clicking, then muted, then clicking again as she walked the sometimes-carpeted hallways of the palace, Jessabelle made her way to the main apartment.
“Oh, you are early! I’m so glad.” The queen reached for Jessabelle, giving her a slight hug.
She had to give the woman credit. Her world had been shaken as much as any of them in the last few days. Her son had been conceived on the worst day of her life, and, several years later, her husband’s mistress had given birth to his child many years earlier. The queen still smiled and seemed more pulled together than Jessabelle could ever dream of being.
“Where is Malachi?” the queen asked as they walked toward the dining room.
Too surprised to say anything else, Jessabelle just said, “What?”
The queen smiled at her. “You know. Your husband. My son. Malachi. Is he on his way?”
Jessabelle shook her head. “No. He’s not home.” Had security not mentioned it to his parents?
The queen’s puzzled look said they hadn’t. “He is not home? Where is he?”
“He said he was going to the Montevarian family’s country house.” An uneasy feeling began to grown in her belly. “He said he needed some time to think, to process everything from the last few days.”
The king walked in the room, the smile on his face fading as he saw the near panic on the queen’s. “What is it, darling?”
“Malachi is gone.”
The puzzled look Jessabelle had seen before made a reappearance. “He is? Where did he go?”
Jessabelle repeated the little she knew and concern, possibly bordering on panic, began to show on his face. “Does anyone know his precise location?”
“Not that I know of,” she said. The funny feeling began to grow in her belly-and it wasn’t the heartburn she’d experienced the last few days.
Antonio pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick text, staring at it until the nearly immediate reply came through. “No one knows where he is,” he said grimly. “His security team didn’t even know he was gone.”
If the look on his face was any indication, heads were going
to roll before this was over.
He went on. “They’re trying to track him down now, including a call in to Adeline in Montevaro to see if she or her security team knows anything about him using their house.”
The uneasy feeling had turned into something much closer to fear. “Isn’t there some kind of tracking on his car? Or his phone?”
He checked his phone again. “His phone is in your apartment. The tracking on his car has been turned off or jammed somehow. It can be overridden from the security office, but it will take time.”
Jessabelle turned to stare out the window and into the courtyard below. With her hands clutched to herself, she began to pray and knew she wouldn’t stop until her husband had been found.
* * *
Malachi settled his backpack onto his shoulders and secured it around his waist. He’d spent enough time with Rick growing up to know how to prepare for a trip like this, even if he’d never gone on one. He wasn’t sure about the whole “live off the land” thing Rick often did, but he’d brought enough meal bars and prepackaged just-add-boiling-water meals with him for the few days it would take to walk from the trail head in Mevendia to another entry point near their country house. If he could keep the pace he thought he could, it would take a few days at most.
He regretted the way he left Jessabelle, but it couldn’t be helped. She would get his letter tomorrow, probably after everyone else realized he’d disappeared. He knew she would show it to them, or at least tell them what it said. If only they would let him complete his trek on his own instead of sending out rescue helicopters to find him before he finished.
For hours, he walked the Alpine trail, seeing no one, which suited him fine. He remembered Rick telling him about the time, the summer before, when he’d ditched his security team and done something similar.
Himself. His Bible. And his God.
That’s what Malachi needed. Time to remember, to realize the truth of his words to Jessabelle. To rediscover his relationship with his Heavenly Father.
As the sun began to set, earlier than he would have expected because of the mountains around him, he found a clearing just off the main path and set up a small camp. It didn’t take long to get a fire going or to boil water from a nearby stream. He mixed the water with the dehydrated meal and started to eat. His taste buds rebelled but he pushed through. It wasn’t too bad.
Once you got used to it.
How Rick did this for months on end, he’d never know.
Malachi read his Bible for a bit then slept fitfully until dawn broke. For most of the next two days, he trudged on, forcing himself to take in the wondrous scenery all around him rather than simply staring at the dirt track in front of his feet. Several times he passed small groups of people heading the other way down the trail, heading further into Mevendia rather than out like he was. Would he know when he’d left his country and entered another? It seemed like it should be something innate, but the scenery wouldn’t change between one step and the next. Unless there was a marker, he wouldn’t even notice.
Just as he started looking for a place to bed down for the night, something came crashing out of the brush, heading straight for him.
Before he had time to contemplate what it could be or decide if fight or flight was the right reaction, the noise ceased as it broke through onto the trail.
A little boy. Not more than seven or eight.
And scared to death.
“Hey, buddy.” Malachi walked carefully toward him, not wanting to scare him further. “You all right?”
The kid ran toward Malachi then hid behind him. “He’s coming,” the boy whispered.
“Who is?”
“My step-dad.”
Malachi turned and squatted down in front of the boy. “Why are you scared of him?”
In the distance, a voice could be heard yelling for someone. The boy’s eyes grew wide. “You gotta help me, mister. He’s gonna kill me.”
“Surely not.” What kind of man would hurt a child, much less frighten him into believing death was imminent?
“He killed my mama,” the boy whispered, his head swiveling one direction then the other. “I saw the whole thing. She didn’t slip and fall off that cliff. She was pushed.”
“When?” He hadn’t heard about any accidents in the mountains recently.
“A while ago. He doesn’t know I saw, but he thinks I did. He’s gonna kill me, too.”
Malachi made a decision in a split-second. Time for figuring out the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but could come later. Right now, he needed to make sure this child was safe.
“Go hide,” he told the boy as the yelling grew closer. “I’ll try to send him a different direction.”
The boy went deeper into the woods on the other side of the trail. Malachi walked toward the noise being made by the step-father.
“Hey!” the man yelled. “I can’t find my son!” His face was colored with worry, but Malachi didn’t like the look of his eyes. “He ran off and got lost. Have you seen him?”
Malachi did his best to look perplexed. “I’ve seen a coupla kids today. What’s he look like?”
The man described the boy down to the color of his sandy hair.
“Yeah. I saw him.” Malachi pointed back into Mevendia. “He went running that way. Said he was racing his brother and was trying to beat him to that big rock a ways down.”
The man stared at him, but Malachi forced his face into a friendly smile. “Can I do anything to help you find him? Perhaps call the authorities to have them help with the search?”
“No!” The strong insistence dispelled the last vestiges of doubt Malachi held. “I’ll find him myself.” He turned and grumbled curse words to himself as he took off down the trail in the direction Malachi pointed.
Malachi shrugged, keeping in character. “Suit yourself.” He started walking back toward the boy, whistling a careless tune until he was certain the man was out of sight.
“Hey, buddy,” he whispered. “Where are you?”
“Is he really gone?” The whisper came from high above.
Malachi looked up to see the boy high in a tree. “Yes, he’s gone. And if he comes back, he’ll have me to deal with.”
After considering the words for a moment, the boy scrambled down. “Hi,” he said when he hit the ground. “I’m Tommy.”
Malachi shook the offered hand. “Hi, Tommy. I’m Kai.” Why didn’t he use his full name? Malachi couldn’t explain it, but he needed to make sure no one connected him with his public persona. Not yet. Not until Tommy was somewhere safe.
With a hand on the boy’s shoulder, Malachi looked around. “Okay, kiddo. We’re gonna figure this out together.”
Chapter 39
“Still no sign?” Yvette looked up from where she sat curled in the big chair.
Jessabelle shook her head. “No. They said they’ll have the location of the car in a few minutes, but that’s not going to help much, I don’t think.”
“Why not?”
“Call it a gut feeling.” Her stomach had been churning non-stop since she realized her husband had taken off without telling anyone. She didn’t see it stopping until he was home safely.
“Papa said the Montevarians didn’t know anything about Malachi using their house. He could if he wanted to, of course, but he hadn’t contacted them.”
“That’s what I heard, too.”
The sun was setting on the second night she’d spend alone.
“Ma’am?”
Jessabelle looked up to see a worried Emily standing there. “Yes?”
She held out an envelope. “This came in today’s mail, but none of us looked through it until a few minutes ago. There’s been too much else happening.”
Jessabelle waited for a further explanation, but instead Emily held out the envelope. She took it from her assistant and looked at the handwriting.
Malachi’s.
She flipped it over and tore frantically at the flap.
“What i
s it?” Yvette asked.
“It’s from Malachi,” Jessabelle answered as she pulled the single sheet of paper out and opened it. “Just a page.”
Jessabelle,
I’m sorry to just leave, but I need some time.
Time to get my head back on straight.
Time to remember who I really am.
Time with my Creator, the one who knew before the foundations of the earth what would happen over the last few days.
I wish, more than anything, that I could process all of this with you, go through all of this together, because I’m coming to understand that, out of all the men in the world, God picked me for you. It’s so much more than lineage. It’s you. How you’ve come into your own. How you’ve blossomed and grown. I’m so privileged to see that secret side of you-the side no one else gets to see. The side where you secretly paint your second toenail a different color because everyone else does the fourth one, but you’re not sure my mother would approve so you never wear open-toed shoes to show them off. You only eat M&Ms in odd numbers. You use your right hand to put hair behind your ear, but never your left.
You didn’t know I knew those things, did you?
I’ve watched you over the last few months and learned more about you than I realized until I tried to put my thoughts on paper. You’re sleeping just feet away from me as I write this. Your even breathing brings some peace to my troubled soul. The small smile on your face makes me wonder what you’re dreaming about and if, in your sleep, you’ve managed to find happiness instead of the turmoil life always seems to bring. I have to stop myself from wondering if dream-Jessabelle has found happiness with someone besides dream-Malachi, because I’ve realized something in the last couple of days.
I love you.
My life didn’t really begin until you walked down the aisle into it.
I want to be man enough to tell you to your face, to kiss you, to tell you over and over what you’ve come to mean to me, but I can’t.
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