‘That “old bird” is my grandmother,’ she declared, at that moment wishing she was no relation whatsoever to the little woman who was trying to hook out an alcohol-soaked piece of fruit from the bottom of her glass with a stick-like, knobbly finger.
‘Wish my grannie was like her. All mine does is sit in her chair and drool, poor bugger. Dementia, see? You’re lucky your gran has got all her marbles.’
Nina supposed she was lucky, though right now she was wishing Flossie’s marbles weren’t quite so lively, or embarrassing.
Drink finished, Flossie wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, plonked the glass down on the bar, and fished in her pocket, drawing out her false teeth. She wiped them on the hem of her neon-yellow tunic and popped them back in, her cheeks filling out like a squirrel with a mouthful of nuts.
‘More games in the pool bar, laters,’ Mohammed said. ‘And do not forget the party tonight after the entertainment in Billy’s Bar. Thank you for playing Pin the Prick on Rick with me,’ he continued to a round of applause. ‘And I hope you come to play with Rick’s Prick tomorrow. The winner gets a Jolly Green Giant, on the house.’
Goody, she thought, more silly, suggestive drinking games, and speaking of drinking, she asked Flossie, ‘What was in that glass?’
‘My prize,’ Flossie said. ‘A cocktail. They’re not part of the all-inclusive. I won it,’ she added, sounding tremendously pleased with herself.
‘Do you have any idea what was in it?’ she asked her grandmother, hoping it wasn’t too alcoholic. They hadn’t even had lunch yet, and the old lady was well on her way to being four sheets to the wind.
‘Vodka, rum, and green stuff,’ Flossie waved a hand in the air, not in the least bit concerned.
The assorted watchers had started to drift away, many towards the restaurant, and Nina said, ‘Lunch?’ hoping food would help soak up the booze.
Her grandmother’s face lit up. ‘Is it that time already? Good, I’m famished.’
Nina was a bit peckish too, the fruit and yoghurt having failed to fill her up. A nice salad would tide her over until dinner, then she could let her hair down a bit and have whatever she fancied. She liked to keep to the routine of eating lightly during the day (sometimes she didn’t manage to eat at all in work, if she had a lunchtime revision class or a meeting), and having a more substantial meal in the evening. She made a habit of cooking several meals at once on the weekend and storing them in the freezer, bringing one out in the morning to defrost in time for her tea.
‘Would you ladies like me to escort you to lunch?’ a voice said, and Nina’s mood, which was slowly clambering its way up from her feet, where it had sunk to a few minutes earlier, now plummeted back down with the speed of a stone dropped down a well.
Carl stood at Nina’s side with a sleazy grin on his face. At least he had a shirt on and a pair of shorts, she saw. She didn’t think she could face those tighty-whitey swimming trunks over a tomato and cucumber salad.
She was about to refuse when Flossie took his arm, letting him lead her towards the restaurant. Nina had no choice but to follow reluctantly, her eyes rolling yet again when Flossie looked back over her shoulder and mouthed ‘nice’ at her.
No, he wasn’t nice. He was slimy, too full of himself, and at least ten years too old for her. She guessed him to be at the top end of the thirty to forty-five age bracket the hotel guests were supposed to be in, when Nina wasn’t even out of her twenties yet! What was her gran playing at anyway – was she trying to set Nina up with the first guy to show an interest in her?
Nina definitely didn’t want to be set up with anyone, especially not a man on a singles holiday who was only after a quick shag.
Oh dear! She hoped he didn’t assume that was the reason she was here. Bet he did. Bet everyone did. What other reason was there to go on this type of holiday?
As Nina trawled grumpily along the salad display, grabbing a bit of this and a bit of that, and looking longingly at a pile of roast chicken and chips on a passing woman’s plate, she had an idea.
Flossie and Carl were already tucking into their meals when Nina sat down, but before she started on hers, she dug around in her bag.
Got it!
‘We’ve been invited to a welcome party this afternoon,’ she announced, waiving the leaflet under her grandmother’s nose.
‘Ooh, I like a party,’ Flossie said.
‘It’s not that kind of party, Gran,’ Nina clarified, scanning the page. ‘It’s more like a meeting where the rep tells guests all about the area, where to go, and what to see.’
‘And persuade people to buy expensive trips,’ Carl interjected, pointing at the sheet of paper with a fully loaded fork.
Nina winced as a dollop of mashed potato fell off and plopped onto the white tablecloth. She positively grimaced when Carl said ‘Oops’, then scooped it up and popped it in his mouth.
‘What sort of trips?’ she asked, trying to keep her mind off his table-manners, and pushing her own plate away, appetite gone.
‘Oh, you know, the usual.’
No, Nina didn’t know. She’d never been on a package holiday before, not like Flossie, who had seemed to go on three or four a year when Grandad was alive.
‘Boat trips (there are lots of those), trips to markets, a couple of excursions to some ruins, other stuff,’ he explained.
Ruins? Nina’s ears pricked up. She liked a nice ruin, and she’d read that Turkey was full of them, steeped in history going back thousands of years. Turkey was where the Ark came to rest, on Mount Ararat (though she was fairly sure the mountain was nowhere near the coast). Nina taught post-twentieth century, but at university she’d specialised in the Tudor and Jacobean eras, and she was positively fascinated by ancient history.
Maybe she could book them on a trip to go and see some historic places. If nothing else, it would be a day out, and they’d get to see a bit of the countryside. It would be a shame to come all this way to see nothing except the hotel and the beach.
Even the thought of travelling back up the impossibly steep road didn’t put Nina off, not when there were some ancient monuments on offer.
Chapter 7
Thankfully, Carl left them to attend the welcome meeting on their own, more interested in a post-lunch drink and a bake in the sun (his words), so Nina and Flossie made their way down into the relatively cool depths of the hotel, into a large room with chairs laid out conference style.
A uniformed rep greeted them at the door, and handed them a drink each and a glossy leaflet. Flossie downed her drink before they’d taken their seats. It was some kind of pink, cloudy concoction which, to Nina, tasted of slightly gone-off cherries. She took a sip, grimaced, and placed the glass on the floor beside her chair, where it remained for the duration of the meeting. Flossie went to fetch another one, returning with a glass in each hand and a grin on her face.
‘Told them I was dehydrated,’ she said. ‘The cheeky buggers tried to palm me off with a bottle of water! I said I needed the sugar.’
Nina tried to let her grandmother’s seemingly insatiable appetite for anything remotely alcoholic wash over her, and concentrated on the leaflet, instead. Carl was right, there were quite a few boat trips. Some of them sounded rather intriguing. The occasional one appeared downright romantic. On the “Six Island Tour” you could see St Nicolas Island, where Santa Claus used to live (or so the leaflet claimed). The leaflet went on to say that Saint Nicolas was where the story about Father Christmas originated. The “Twelve Island Tour” claimed visitors could bathe in Cleopatra’s Pool, the hype being that bathers would come out looking ten years younger. The tour to Dalyan suggested travellers immerse themselves in mud baths, where a similar claim to knock ten years off one’s age was also made. Nina wondered if there was a cumulative effect if you visited both – she’d be down to about eight years old.
The Dalyan excursion sounded lovely actually, for along with the mud baths (she wasn’t entirely sure she liked the sound of those, if
she was honest), there was a boat trip down the river, where ancient tombs which had been carved out of the hillside above were visible, and the river itself navigated through huge reed beds. A promise of a pristine beach with the possibility of seeing turtles clinched it for Nina. This was one trip she wanted to go on.
Another page caught her eye. Tlos, an ancient city over four thousand years old and rumoured to hold the tomb of Bellerophon, of the Pegasus fame. Ooh, that one sounded good. It was teamed with a visit to Saklikent Gorge, where the brave could wade through the icy, waist-high waters of the Xanthos River, or alternatively enjoy a cool drink lazing on one of the floating pontoons (that sounded more like it!).
Wait. When she looked at the next page her heart nearly stopped.
Ephesus, where the Temple of Artemis lay, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, and Nina had a chance of visiting it!
The historian in her leapt up and did a little excited jig. She squirmed so much Flossie asked her if she needed to go to the lavatory.
‘You should have gone before this started,’ her grandmother said, and Nina hid a smile. Flossie sounded as though she was speaking to a child, and Nina supposed, from her grandmother’s advanced years, anyone below sixty was probably a mere youngster.
‘Is there anything you fancy?’ Nina kept her voice to a whisper because one of the travel company reps was in full flow about the fun of a jeep safari, where the recommended accessory for the day was a very large water-pistol. It sounded far too rowdy for Nina’s liking.
‘Shh, I’m listening,’ Flossie hissed, so Nina let her get on with it, whilst she scoured the leaflet for every little detail regarding Ephesus. Fancy that, a Roman city within travelling distance – Nina had always wanted to visit Italy, Rome especially with its famous colosseum. So far she’d not got around to it, but one day she would. She just didn’t fancy going on her own. A place like Rome was meant to be shared with loved ones (or loved one, though she’d yet to find a lukewarm one who she cared enough about to go on a romantic holiday with). The nearest Nina had come to Roman ruins was a day trip to the ancient baths in Bath. Excitement fluttered through her at the thought of Ephesus. Yes, it was rather a long excursion (a two-day trip, to be exact), but Nina was unlikely to return to Turkey. It felt like a sort of sacrilege not to see as much of the country as she could.
The presentation drew to a close, with final reminders to not drink the tap water (high mineral content apparently), to take care in the sun (Nina had brought three bottles of factor thirty with her, and one bottle of factor fifty just in case), and to not flush toilet paper down the toilet but to use the bin provided (yuk), ‘and don’t forget to book your excursions before places sell out.’
‘Right,’ Flossie said, getting to her feet, and stomping over to the nearest rep.
Nina watched her go for a second, wondering what her grandmother wanted, before hastily following her when she saw the old woman get her credit card out.
‘What are you doing, Gran?’ Hope flared in Nina’s chest. She hadn’t been looking forward to trying to persuade Flossie to go on such a long trip.
‘Booking us on that.’ Flossie stabbed a finger at her leaflet. She’d opened it at the “Sunset Cruise” page. Nina had barely given it a first glance, let alone a second. ‘And that.’ Flossie turned over to the “Jeep Safari” page.
‘Gran…’ Nina began. Okay, maybe she could tolerate the cruise, but there was no way on this earth she was going to allow her eighty-four-three-something-year-old grandmother (Nina hadn’t yet clarified Flossie’s true age) to be rattled and bounced to death in a jeep, and squirted with water every five minutes. She’d be taking the old woman back to the UK in a box.
‘Don’t “Gran” me, young lady. You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my mother.’
‘Carer, more like,’ Nina muttered.
‘I heard that!’ Flossie retorted sharply.
Yeah, amazing how Grannie heard a mutter like that, yet you could shout right in her ear and she’d say “pardon”, Nina thought.
‘Listen here, Nina, and listen good,’ Flossie said in a low voice. ‘I didn’t bring you here to grannie-sit, I brought you here to… because…’ She shook her head. ‘Never mind. I just want us to have a good time, and sometimes that might involve doing things you’ve never done before. What do you young ’uns call it, being outside your comfort zone? I’m old, so my comfort zone is very, very narrow, but if I stayed in it I would fossilize. Old people tend to get stuck in their ways, and the more stuck they get, the more reluctant and frightened they are to try anything new. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days sitting in a chair, drinking endless cups of tea and watching rubbish on TV. Your grandad wouldn’t have wanted me to do that either – he made me promise I wouldn’t.’
Nina, tears in her eyes, could think of only one reply. ‘I thought you said you weren’t old.’
‘I’m not. Now, are you coming with me, or do I have to go on my own?’
‘I’ll come with you. Somebody’s got to make sure you don’t break a hip.’
‘Will you shut up about breaking hips? I keep telling you to worry about your own hips,’ Flossie retorted. ‘They could do with seeing a bit more action.’
‘Gran!’
‘Two for the Sunset Cruise, the Jeep Safari, and the diving, please.’
‘Hang on a minute, what diving?’ Nina asked.
‘It’s only ten feet down. Easy peasy.’
‘Surely they won’t let you dive at your age?’ Nina turned to the bemused looking rep. ‘Will you?’
‘As long as your grandmother is fit and healthy, I don’t see why not. It’s very safe, and the instructors are excellent.’
‘Oh. Okay, I’ll go on a trip with you, but only,’ Nina said to Flossie, seizing her chance, ‘only if you come on one with me.’ I’ll pick the Sunset Cruise, Nina decided, it sounded the safest and the shortest.
‘Which one? Please don’t say the market, I hate markets. Old people go to markets to buy tablecloths and new purses.’
Nina smiled. ‘Not a market. Ephesus.’
‘Elephant? I didn’t know they had elephants in Turkey.’
‘Ephesus!’ Nina said, louder. ‘It’s a Roman city.’
‘Elephant is a Roman city?’
‘Eff-ess-uss,’ Nina enunciated clearly.
‘Effy-what.’
Nina gave up. ‘Okay, Elephant,’ she said with a sigh, sure her grandmother was being deliberately awkward; she wasn’t usually this deaf.
‘That’s what I thought you said the first time,’ Flossie said, ‘but I already said I don’t want to go shopping.’
‘Not that type of city. Elephant,’ (now her grandmother had got her saying it) ‘is an ancient ruin.’
‘I can see plenty of those down the Old Age Pensioners’ hall every Wednesday afternoon,’ Flossie cackled.
‘Please, Gran, I really want to see this.’
Flossie had a shrewd, cunning glint in her eye, and Nina had the feeling she was being set up.
‘Tit for tat – you do all the things I want to do, and I’ll go to Elephant with you,’ the old lady said.
‘But that’s not fair! You want to go on that jeep safari thing. Can I just say, I think it’s far too dangerous. You also want to go on a boat trip in the middle of the night, and you want to go diving. At your age! I’ll go on the boat trip, but as for the others…’
‘I told you before, dearie, age doesn’t matter. As long as I’m not nailed down in a box, I’ll do what I bloody well like! And anyway, your trip takes two whole days out of our holiday. The Jeep Safari and the diving work out about the same time-wise.’
Sensing her commission slipping away, the rep said to Nina, ‘The Jeep Safari takes you to Tlos first, then Saklikent Gorge, the second largest gorge in Europe, then on to Patara Beach. There’s something for everyone really.’
‘I didn’t realise that was part of the Jeep Safari,’ Nina said.
‘Oh yes,’ t
he rep said as she got into her stride. ‘We do a more sedate coach version, or we go by jeep. The jeep is loads of fun and not at all dangerous. You’ll love it!’
Nina still wasn’t convinced but before she could raise any more objections, the rep turned to Flossie with a professional smile. ‘The excursion to Ephesus is a long way, but it’s well worth a visit. We put you up in a great hotel. All your meals are included, and we don’t just visit Ephesus, we also get a chance to see Pamukkale, and bathe in the thermal springs.’
‘Pinky-what? Moon, did you say?’
‘Pamukkale, Gran,’ Nina said. ‘It’s some kind of natural limestone spring.’ Nina wasn’t bothered about visiting it, but if it helped persuade her grandmother…
Flossie’s eyes narrowed, ‘Do we have a deal? You go on my three and I’ll come with you to this Elephant and Pinky Moon place?’
What could be the harm in it, Nina thought and, as lovely as their hotel was, she really did want to explore the country a bit.
‘Deal!’
Chapter 8
Nina and her grandmother looked like a pair of bookends, or a couple of teenagers who had been on the phone to each other before a night out, demanding to know what the other was going to wear so they could synchronise outfits.
A white linen skirt with a pretty floral top seemed to be the uniform for tonight. The only difference between them was that Nina’s skirt didn’t have an elasticated waist and her top was slightly strappier, though not as low cut. Flossie’s revealed rather more cleavage than Nina deemed appropriate for a woman of her grandmother’s age. It didn’t help that Flossie wore an industrial-sized bra, designed to keep her saggy boobs firmly in their place, which could clearly be seen poking above the neckline of her top.
‘Ooh, you look lovely,’ Flossie said. ‘Just like me.’
Nina gave her a narrow-eyed look and rummaged about in her half of the wardrobe. She suspected her grandmother might have chosen her own outfit deliberately, because Flossie had seen the skirt in Nina’s hand when she’d escaped to the bathroom to shower and get dressed.
Summer on the Turquoise Coast Page 5