The Forbidden Passion 0f A Governess (Historical Regency)

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The Forbidden Passion 0f A Governess (Historical Regency) Page 21

by Lucy Langton


  He opened the door gently, and at first Emilia pretended that she was still asleep, unsure why it was that, yet again, the Earl of Cunningham found himself in her room. Perhaps he would just stand there, unsure what to say, and then be on his way. Should that be the case, it was best for her to lie incredibly still until he had departed.

  “Emilia?” he said, and she knew that her original plan had been for naught. “Emilia,” he said again, and she turned her head to see that the earl was standing right over her.

  “M’Lord,” Emilia replied groggily.

  “I do not wish to disturb you,” he said, his voice measured.

  “It’s all right,” Emilia replied, rubbing her eyes and turning to him.

  “There is something that I must tell you,” he added, his expression turning pained.

  “Speak,” Emilia replied.

  “This night, I have asked Lady Spencer to be my wife,” he said heavily.

  “I see,” Emilia replied, all the while her heart breaking. Of course, it was inevitable. And yet still, to hear the earl say those words was like a tremendous wound to the chest.

  “Is that all you have to say?” he asked.

  “What else is there to say?” Emilia replied. “I am . . . happy for you.”

  That reply angered the earl. His brow furrowed, his jaw clenched, and he grabbed Emilia by the shoulders and stood her to her feet.

  “Why do you lie to me?” he asked.

  “What was it that you wanted me to say?”

  “I want you to be honest with me in all things, and to trust me,” he said, his grasp on her getting tighter.

  “Do you wish to get a rise out of me? Do you want to see tears?” Emilia asked. “I have shed enough tears for one day.”

  “I want to see those tears,” the earl replied, his own expression becoming heavy with emotion. He brought his fingers to her face.

  “I’m not sure that you deserve them!” Emilia replied, indignant.

  “Don’t say such things to me!” the earl said, matching her intensity.

  “I repeat again, sir. What would you have me say? Do you want to hear that I think Lady Spencer is up to no good? That she will destroy you? Or are you trying to make me admit that I love you? That I long for you?” Emilia asked, her voice a mixture of anger and despair. The tears began to fall again, and the earl brushed them away.

  “Emilia,” he whispered, bringing his lips to her ear and cradling the back of her head with his hand. She held back the tears no further, and the earl did not hold back his physical needs.

  *

  Lifting her up into his arms, the earl carried Emilia tenderly out of her room, down the hall and stairs, and then up the stone steps to his own quarters. He couldn’t bear to see her in that dark room by herself, nor would he be able to unhand her that night in the way that he knew he should. Grasping her tightly, the earl continued to whisper into her ear, to tell her everything would be all right, reassuring her that she was safe, and would always be taken care of.

  Locking the door behind them, he gently placed her on the bed and then slowly removed his shirt, while Emilia watched.

  Hovering above her, the earl undid the top button of his trousers and watched as Emilia gasped. He placed one hand on the side of her thigh, and then the other, massaging her legs and gritting his teeth.

  Without the slow approach of the previous encounter, the earl went about his business attaining what he wanted without question. He undressed Emilia fully, beginning with opening her bodice and allowing her round breasts to be fully released for his hungry grasp. He pulled her dress down, all the way down until Emilia was left with nothing but her undergarments. Her immediate reaction was to cover herself, to bring her hands in front of her near-nakedness, but the earl pulled her hands away, not allowing her to conceal herself from him. He demanded all, and he would consume all with abandon. Everything in society conspired against them, and that would be the night of their rebellion.

  Tossing her dress upon the floor, the earl brought his warm fingers to the waistband of Emilia’s drawers and slowly pulled them down and completely off, leaving no more to be revealed. It was an experience that Emilia had clearly never had before, being completely naked in front of a man. And despite appearing slightly more embarrassed, she seemed to relish in the earl’s reverent gaze upon her whole body.

  He brought himself in front of the bed upon his knees, pulling Emilia’s whole body down towards the edge. He began by kissing the inside of her knee, slowly moving his mouth upward, using his tongue in circular motions upon her soft skin. Emilia cried out in pleasure, bringing her hand to the back of his head and entangling his hair around her fingers.

  Not standing on ceremony, the earl moved his lips to Emilia’s most sacred, sensitive spot where her thighs met, and he kissed her gently. He could feel her warmth and wetness upon his tongue, and it filled him with unspeakable desire that coursed through him at an alarming pace, stealing his breath and his senses.

  Emilia cried out again as his tongue encircled around her clitoris, gently massaging and sucking. Feeling her tense beneath his mouth, he pulled away, not wishing for Emilia to come to an end so soon.

  Instead he stood to full height, pulling down his trousers and revealing his taut erection. Emilia shuddered at first, and then a sensuality overtook her.

  “Emilia,” the earl said softly, bringing his hips between her legs. He leaned over her, whispering into her ear. “I do this with love, sweet girl,” he said, taking his erection in his hand and holding it between Emilia’s soft, moist lips. He stroked her for a while, priming her for his entry, and from her moans of ecstasy he knew that the time was ripe.

  He entered her gently at first, and then did what he knew he must – finish the business with one deep, powerful thrust that was the beginning and the end, of Emilia’s pain.

  *

  At first she felt faint, knowing that something had ruptured inside of her, but from that moment forward it was nothing but intense sensations that shook her to the core. The earl gently pulsed, and with each thrust he went so deep inside her that she felt she might weep from happiness.

  “Yes,” the earl instructed, as she began to instinctively thrust her hips against his. He brought one hand down to her hip, in order to guide her and encourage her.

  Their rhythm together was natural, effortless. Time stood still, and Emilia wished that the moment might never cease.

  Rolling over and pulling Emilia with him, he watched as she writhed on top of him, throwing her head back in rapture whilst he brought his hands up to massage her breasts.

  As the sensation became deeper and deeper, Emilia could hold back no further. A rush of sensation, like a quaking of the earth, coursed through her body, beginning from her pelvis and shooting up through the rest of her limbs.

  *

  Feeling that Emilia was exploding, the earl allowed himself to release as well, feeling the warmth of his manly seed enter her. As Emilia collapsed on top of him, gasping for breath, he took her hair in his hand and gently stroked her. He had never experienced such intense pleasure in all of his life.

  And most certainly, it would be the last time.

  As they drifted off to sleep in one another’s arms, the earl had a vivid dream in which Emilia, not Lady Spencer, was wearing a wedding gown, smiling at him whilst reciting the Banns. The dream filled the earl with incredible joy and humility.

  And so it came as quite a shock the next morning when he awoke and Emilia was no longer by his side.

  Chapter 22

  Emilia fled Glastonbrook at approximately 4 o’clock that morning, with nothing but the cloak on her back and the stolen letter in her hand. She was chilled to the bone, but luckily the rain had let up that morning and so Emilia was not soaked through. Had the heavens been pouring down, there would be considerably too much mud for her boots to handle, and then she’d never make it to the Hutchinson estate.

  And that was where she was seeking refuge. She knew s
he could stay at Glastonbrook not a moment longer. What she and the earl had shared had been life-altering, unforgettable, and not at all aligned with the reality of society. The consummation of their passion had merely been an expression of body and soul. There could never be any legal contract to bind the two, no way for the rest of proper society to accept them as they were – a man and a woman from very different stations in life.

  That fact did not diminish what she and the earl had shared, nor would her heart stop yearning for him, but Emilia could not remain at Glastonbrook considering the present conditions. The Earl of Cunningham was to be married, and to a woman that Emilia was quite certain was up to no good. What’s more, Emilia was also convinced that Hugh was equally duplicitous, perhaps in more egregious ways than Lady Spencer herself.

  If Emilia was going to get to the bottom of it – and get to the bottom of it she would – then she could not remain on the estate. She required an outside view and perspective and, what’s more, she needed to do some investigation.

  The idea to escape to the Hutchinson estate was a sound one. Emilia would be accepted with open arms, even if she showed up unannounced, and from there she would be able to enquire into the former staff at Glastonbrook. With a good deal of questioning and insight gleaned, Emilia hoped she might piece together the puzzle of what happened to the former Earl and Countess of Cunningham. She did not seek to solve this mystery for herself, but rather for the earl. Emilia could not stand to watch Lord Forest suffer for a moment longer.

  Although the journey to the Hutchinson estate was long on foot and might take her a good part of the day to complete, Emilia revelled in the ability to breathe again. Open fields surrounded her on all sides, as well as dense forest off in the distance. Here and there sheep and goats grazed on the verdant grasses, and every once in a while great birds flew overhead.

  The sun was rising in the east, and the storm clouds were pushing away, leaving a newly minted blue sky that convinced Emilia that hope was on the horizon, as well as new beginnings.

  Memories of the previous night continued to flood her mind, and her body. She could still feel the earl’s warm skin, could still taste him on her mouth, and sense his warm breath on her neck. He had captured her entirely, and there was no chance she would ever break free from him, no matter how far and wide she might travel. The earl had won Emilia Stewart, and she was feeling no regrets.

  It was his tenderness that surprised her most. The warm, soft longing of his eyes in the semi-darkness of his room was a revelation. All the while the earl appeared so unbearably cold and dark, brooding and often even cruel. But it was not the real man. Emilia knew that now. It was all a facade in order to protect the earl from his cruel past and what he imagined to be a cruel future.

  Yet still, if there was any way that she and the earl could be together – even though it was surely an impossibility – Emilia would demand that he set himself free, if only for her eyes. That he should reveal himself fully to her and present her with no other picture than the truthful one. She would never hurt him, Emilia knew that much for certain.

  As the day wore on the sun grew stronger and Emilia was filled with new life, just as the dawn had promised. The clean air filled her lungs and the rigorous exercise brought a warm glow to her cheeks. However, she could still feel the stolen letter clutched in her hand and dread filled her again. Emilia would get to the bottom of the mystery, if only for her own peace of mind, and after doing just that, she knew that the earl would finally be set free from his demons. If all went to plan, he’d also be set free from the dreaded Lady Spencer. The letter held all the clues, Emilia was sure of it.

  Her spirit being what it was, every time a donkey-pulled cart came by, and the driver would offer Emilia a ride, she would always refuse, insisting that the exercise was just what she needed. When Emilia reached the Hutchinson estate around dusk, she was utterly exhausted and feeling quite faint.

  “Miss Stewart!” the head footman declared upon opening the door, eyes wide with wonder.

  “May I speak with Lady Hutchinson?” Emilia asked, out of breath.

  “Certainly,” the footman replied, opening the door wide to let her in.

  Lady Hutchinson embraced Emilia with open arms, and Sophie and Anne did much the same, taking Emilia by the arm and leading her to the fire to get warm.

  “Why didn’t you write a letter?” Lady Hutchinson asked. “We would have sent a coach,” she added, concern written on her face.

  “There was no time,” Emilia explained. “I’m afraid that I needed to flee at once.”

  “I do trust that the Earl of Cunningham caused no harm?” Lady Hutchinson went on.

  “Not in the slightest,” Emilia replied. “He has been nothing but a gentleman.”

  It was not entirely a lie. The earl had been stern with Emilia, but he never harmed her, and she never succumbed herself to anything that she did not truly and deeply want from him.

  “I’m afraid that the affairs of Glastonbrook became . . . too much for me to bear,” Emilia went on.

  “In what way?” Lady Hutchinson asked, summoning a servant to bring the tea.

  “Are you aware of the untimely death of the earl’s parents?” Emilia asked. She knew she was opening Pandora’s box, but she felt as though she was at the point of no return.

  “I have heard of their . . . mysterious death, yes.”

  “Mother, is it true?” Sophie asked, having never heard any word of the matter.

  “I’m afraid that it is true,” Lady Hutchinson replied.

  “Unfortunately,” Emilia went on, “there is evidence to suggest that someone within Glastonbrook might have been to blame.”

  “No!” Lady Hutchinson exclaimed.

  “It is true. And I know, I just know, that if I could discover the former attendants of Glastonbrook, I may be able to enquire after the details of the situation.”

  “A budding detective,” Lady Hutchinson replied, lifting her brow. Although it was unacceptable for a girl of Emilia’s position to undertake such a thing, it was in the nature of all the Hutchinson family to accept Emilia, no matter what she chose to undertake.

  “Might you know any of the former staff?” Emilia asked, wishing to work on the problem straight away.

  “I did know of the staff,” Lady Hutchinson went on. “In fact, two of them reside in this household.”

  Emilia was silent and in shock. She could begin her investigation that very evening. The thought of it filled her with excitement, and some dread.

  “Would you be comfortable with my questioning them?” Emilia asked, enjoying the warmth of her teacup in her hands.

  “Of course, you can. Unfortunately, this evening would not be the appropriate time. You look exhausted, Emilia. I think it’s of the utmost importance that you rest.”

  “Yes, perhaps that is best,” she replied, a sudden weariness filling her.

  “We’ll prepare your old room for you, and in the morning you can speak with Rebecca and Samuel, former Glastonbrook kitchen attendants.”

  “Very well,” Emilia replied, stifling a yawn.

  “Come along then,” Lady Hutchinson said to all three girls. “We’ll discuss this more in the morning.”

  Emilia did not need anyone to lead her to her room. She remembered it fondly – much brighter and more inviting than her quarters at Glastonbrook.

  Lying down upon the bed, Emilia felt cosy and safe, until a sudden dread overtook her. Had the earl been searching for her throughout the day? Did he fear for her, or did he go into a rage? All those outcomes were possible considering the nature of his character. She hoped he was not angry, but it was her guess that his customary fury had overtaken him. But there was nothing to be done about it at present. Emilia needed to act in the way that she had.

  It was not long before she fell into a restful sleep and was greeted by the morning sun. How was it that the sun shone more brightly at the Hutchinson estate than it did at Glastonbrook? The dark cloud that follo
wed the earl was both literal and figurative.

  Upon rising from bed, anticipation filled her. It was time to get to the bottom of matters and it would begin that very morning. She’d question Rebecca and Samuel, separately, and hopefully from them learn of the whereabouts of other previous attendants at Glastonbrook. Upon obtaining all the appropriate information, Emilia would return to the earl with a clear conscience, providing him with all the information necessary for him to heal his past and finally move forward.

  “Were you fond of the former earl?” Emilia asked Rebecca, choosing the female servant as her first interviewee.

  “He was a kind man, yes. The countess was equally as kind,” Rebecca replied, visibly nervous.

  “And did you know Lord Joshua Forest?” Emilia went on.

 

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