by Anna Schmidt
“But she had Reba’s husband, Stan.”
“And he was wonderful with her, but his death came suddenly and unexpectedly and I think probably added to the evidence she was building that men cannot be counted upon. She was inconsolable for months afterward.” She turned to him. “I wish you had been here then, Jeb. Reverend Dunhill was a good man, but his answer to most tragedy was that it was ‘God’s will.’ For a child, that’s slim comfort.”
“For anyone,” Jeb murmured. He cleared his throat. “So it was just Reba, Faith and you.”
Megan nodded. “For years now that’s been the way of it. Faith calls us the Cranberry Hill Trio.”
“And you think she’s afraid that if you and I…”
“Oh, Jeb, it would be anyone—could even be a woman that she saw as disturbing the safe cocoon she’s built for herself. And as you say, in another year she’ll be off to college and on her way to the life God’s planned for her as an adult.” She placed her hand on Jeb’s. “It’s a year, Jeb, and in the meantime, we can still work together on church and community things and…”
“That’s the bargain? You put us on hold in exchange for what?”
“Helping Faith fight whatever temptations Caleb and his crowd might send her way,” Megan admitted.
“And what if God has other plans—for Faith and for you?”
She shrugged. “Then He’ll make that clear in time. In the meantime, I’ll stick to my promise.”
“To stop seeing me?”
“To not see you socially in a way that drives my daughter away from me,” Megan corrected. “Besides, Jeb, you’ve just moved here and I was one of the first people you met. We got thrown together when Henry died and then again working on the youth center and…”
Jeb hooked a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him through the darkness. “Hey, I’m not interested in shopping around. I never thought that I would be drawn to another woman once my wife died. And then I met you and, I’m not going to lie to you, the attraction was instant and undeniable. I don’t know what you felt, but I am well aware of what I felt. Here’s my bargain—I’ll give you the time you need if you allow me to be part of your life on some level—one that includes the opportunity for me to show Faith that I can be a refuge rather than a threat.”
Megan was suddenly overcome by a sense of lightness and peace that sharply contrasted the heaviness in her heart that had brought her to the pier earlier. And in that spirit she went with her heart. “Thank you,” she whispered as she hugged Jeb. She felt that the words were meant for Jeb because he understood, and at the same time were offered up as a prayer for God’s blessing in sending her this dear man.
On her way to her room, Megan paused outside Faith’s door for a long moment. They had had strong words before Faith had stormed upstairs, and Megan had gone to the pier. One of Reba’s house rules was that no one goes to bed with hard feelings still unresolved. Megan tapped lightly at Faith’s door and then entered her daughter’s bedroom.
Faith was lying on her side under the covers, but her very stillness told Megan she was not asleep. The small lamp on the bedside table was still on. Megan sat on the side of the bed and stroked her daughter’s fine golden hair. “Early for you to be in bed,” she said, making sure there wasn’t an ounce of criticism in her tone. “Could we talk some more?”
Faith curled further into herself. “What’s to talk about?”
“Oh, well, there are lots of things. Things like the fact that sometimes when I look at you and realize how fast you are growing up and how beautiful you are inside and outside, it scares me.”
Faith’s tension relaxed slightly and she half rolled toward Megan. “You’re never scared,” she said.
Megan laughed. “I put on a good act sometimes.”
Faith turned onto her back and looked at Megan. “For me?”
“Sometimes.”
“Why does my growing up scare you? Because you think I’ll leave you and you’ll be alone?”
“You would never do that, but it’s also important that we both understand that you are on a journey to find your own life in this world. And as you move along that path, it’s important that we both accept that I might make some changes, as well.”
Faith’s expression hardened. “Like marrying Reverend Matthews?”
“Oh, honey, Jeb and I have only known each other a short time. We’re friends—mostly because we’ve both had some experiences that have been especially painful. It’s unusual to find someone who truly understands that kind of sorrow, someone who isn’t simply pretending to know.”
“I know,” Faith said softly. “Your mom left you the way my dad left me, so I know. The way Gramps abandoned both of us by drinking.” Her eyes glistened with tears. “So I know. You can talk to me.”
“Yes, you and I share a great deal, Faith, but you are my child and that colors everything. A friendship is different. You know that. Why, I’ll bet there are any number of things—serious topics—that you can share with your girlfriends, and now Caleb, more easily than you could discuss them with me.”
Faith chewed her lower lip, telling Megan that she was right. “Did Reverend Matthews—was he abandoned, too?”
“No. I think perhaps Jeb sees himself in the role of the one who abandoned his family, his wife and daughter.”
“But they died in a car accident. That’s what Mrs. Barnsworth said.”
“And that’s true, but it’s not so simple as that. You of all people know that. When something like that happens a person always has questions. Could I have done something different that might have changed the course of events?”
“Yeah, I think about that.” Faith laced her fingers with Megan’s. “Mom? Why didn’t Dad want us?”
It was the first time in years she had raised the question and Megan felt her heart constrict with the pain this dear child had carried with her all this time. “Oh, honey, I don’t think it was so much not wanting us. He didn’t even know you. If he had, that might have changed everything. But at the time I think your father must have been so scared. After all, we weren’t much older than you are now. His whole world must have felt as if it was coming apart and he had so much to look forward to, so many people here in Singing Springs who wanted him to succeed.”
“Didn’t anybody stop to think your whole world might be coming apart, too?” Faith jutted her jaw—the mirror image of her father’s stubborn jaw.
“Reba and Stan did, and there were others. Hey, things have turned out pretty well for you and me. You just need one person in your corner, Faith, and we’ve been more blessed than many.”
Faith considered this. “So is that how you see Reverend Matthews? As someone who is in your corner?”
“Our corner,” Megan corrected as she stood and tucked Faith in. “He’s a good guy, honey.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Megan leaned down and kissed Faith’s forehead. “We’re friends, Faith, nothing more, okay?”
Faith looked skeptical.
“Hey, we’ve got to trust each other, right? Isn’t that what you told me earlier?” Actually, the girl had screamed it at her just before stomping up the stairs and slamming the door to her room. How about trusting me, Mom?
Megan had been halfway up the stairs herself when Reba had stopped her. “She’s got a point, Meggie. There comes a time when you not only have to trust her, but also trust what you’ve taught her.”
But she knew that at least part of the uncharacteristic overreaction to Megan’s questions had arisen out of guilt. Faith was not telling her the whole story—about that beer bottle cap or about her relationship with Caleb. She brushed Faith’s bangs away from her eyes.
“Now, get some sleep. Reba’s got a full house moving in tomorrow.” She switched off the lamp.
“Mom?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you.”
“I love you right back,” Megan whispered, parroting the exchange she and Faith had developed when Fai
th was just a toddler. She closed the door softly behind her and stood for a moment in the hallway, basking in the realization that despite all her fears she had raised one terrific kid, wise and sensitive beyond her years. Faith would be all right.
As the days of June flew by, Jeb began to fully understand the dynamics of living in a town that seemingly overnight was teeming with tourists and summer residents. He saw one clear difference every Sunday morning as the pews of the old chapel gradually filled and he started to notice different faces from one week to the next. The youth center was also another indicator that things had changed. Every week there were new faces there, as well. And although he feared that the increase in traffic and work at the church might further restrict the already limited time he could spend with Megan, the opposite was true.
Several times a week Megan came to the church with baskets of fresh fruit donated by area farmers, baked treats still warm from the inn’s oven, and books, DVDs and CDs donated by townspeople for the center’s growing library of games, movies and what Reba liked to call “rainy day activities.” On Sundays, Megan took her place next to Faith and Reba on the aisle in the third pew. And on weekday evenings when the center was open she was there, working side by side with Jessica in the church’s tiny kitchen, serving up pizza or hot dogs or sometimes just sitting with a new visitor to the center.
“You can always tell the shy ones,” she told him one night as he walked her home. “It’s in the eyes—how much they long to be part of the group, to be cool. To be accepted.”
“I can’t imagine that you weren’t ever part of the in-crowd,” he teased and then immediately regretted the words. “I mean, before…” He shook off the rest of the explanation. “Sorry,” he muttered.
“Don’t be. You’re right. When I was Faith’s age and first started dating Danny Moreland, I thought I was the coolest kid in town. For the first time in my life I felt as if everyone was envious of me, when I had spent so many years being envious of any kid who had a real home life. It was heady stuff.”
Jeb took her hand and she didn’t resist. “And then?”
“Then I was pregnant and, well, if you force kids to choose, they are going to go for self-preservation almost every time. Danny was the star. Without him I was hardly someone other kids looked up to or wanted to be like. Most of my friends felt they had to make a choice and it was kind of a no-brainer. I’d like to think I would have been more loyal to a friend than that, but when I’m honest with myself, I’m pretty sure I would have believed Danny and stuck by him.”
“So now when you see a kid like that boy tonight?”
Megan shrugged. “I’m drawn to kids like that. I don’t know whether it’s because I want to warn them or reassure them, but I home in on them like a laser.”
“And what do you say?”
“It varies. The key I think is to get the kid talking, draw him or her out, get a smile going. Then sometimes I’ll call Faith over and she pretty much takes it from there. She’s a natural when it comes to nurturing others.”
“She’s inherited that from her mother.” They had reached Reba’s back door, but Jeb was reluctant to let Megan go just yet. “Things seem to be better between the two of you.”
They had not talked about that night on the pier, but as soon as the following day Jeb had seen a closeness between Megan and Faith that made his heart fill with the realization that he was never to have that with Sally. No, he had allowed that opportunity to pass him by, put it off for “someday.” And that lesson learned in the most horrific way made it hard to keep his promise to Megan. Jeb was all too aware that “someday” had a way of never showing up.
“I still have my concerns when it comes to the amount of time she’s spending with Caleb,” Megan admitted, “especially now that his friends are here, too. But you and Reba are right—I know that all I can do is be there for her and hope the lessons I’ve tried to instill over the years stick.”
Jeb pulled her into his arms and held her. “She’ll be fine. She’s strong and smart and has great instincts—like her mom.”
Megan rested her cheek against his chest with her arms wrapped around his waist. “Thanks, Rev Jeb.” It was the nickname that Caleb had given him and it had stuck, serving to make him more approachable for the young people who now flocked to the center.
He kissed the top of her head. “See you tomorrow?”
She laughed and leaned away from him without breaking the hold. The amber glow of the porch lamp lit her face like candlelight. His heartbeat quickened. This wasn’t just that feeling of pure joy he felt every time she entered a room or he heard her laughter. This was something deeper…unsettling and yet at the same time the moment brought him such a sense of peace. And as her smile faded to an expression of puzzlement, Jeb understood that Megan shared his feelings.
“Tomorrow,” he said, kissing her forehead and releasing her. He started back up the hill to the parsonage and heard her open the back door. “We need to get the kids started on planning the parade entry for the Fourth,” he called.
“Faith and Cindy already have an idea,” she answered.
He turned and walked backward, mostly so he could see her one more time. “Does it involve my wearing a costume?”
Megan’s laugh sang across the darkness like a wind chime. “Yeah. Faith said something about needing an Uncle Sam—on stilts.”
Jeb stumbled on a tree root and lost his balance.
“Jeb,” Megan shrieked and started toward him.
Jeb held up his hand to let her know he was fine and got to his feet. “Might want to rethink that stilts thing,” he called. “Rev Jeb is apparently not the world’s most coordinated guy.”
“You’re sure you’re not hurt?”
“Only my pride. ’Night, Megan.” He waved and waited until she went inside, then limped back to the parsonage. That ankle was going to need ice.
Life had settled back into a routine that Megan found comforting. Not only was her friendship with Jessica fully restored, but Faith was back to sharing her activities, thoughts and dreams for the future with her. More important, Megan was beginning to trust her growing feelings for Jeb. At night as she lay in bed saying her prayers, she often found herself thinking that maybe there could be a future for them. She had even started to dare hope that someday they might find their way to something beyond simple friendship. “Although friendship is gift enough,” she assured God. “You have blessed my life in so many ways and I am so grateful,” had become her nightly devotion.
After serving breakfast to the guests and helping Reba and Faith clean the rooms, she had walked into town to pick up the mail and stop by the Shack for what had become her daily morning coffee break with Jessica when she saw a man come out of the barbershop two blocks down. She paused as she always did on such occasions. There had been times since her father had left town when she’d thought she’d seen him. It had always turned out to be someone else and, with so many visitors in town, that was no doubt the case now. Yet there had been something…
“Hey there,” Jessica called from the doorway of the Shack. “You gonna stand out there all day? I need coffee, girl, preferably intravenously. It has been a morning and it’s not yet nine-thirty.”
Megan grinned. “Don’t mind me. Daydreaming,” she said as she followed Jessica inside and stepped up to the self-serve coffee area. “Hey, you added a new flavor.”
Jessica made a face. “Pete’s idea. Pumpkin latte. He says it’s like drinking warm pumpkin pie—not that I would ever want to do that, but to each his own. The usual or do you want to try this stuff?”
“Usual,” Megan said, and she glanced up as someone passed the large window of the shop. She was having trouble shaking the image of the man entering the barbershop. On the other hand, one of the last places Owen Osbourne was likely to head if he returned to town was the barber’s. More likely he would stop in at the tavern on the edge of town or the convenience store that sold beer.
“Speaking of d
aydreaming,” Jessica said as she set the mug down on the table at the booth next to the window. They both slid across the worn red-vinyl seats. “How’s things with you and Reverend Dreamboat?”
Megan blushed and Jessica laughed. “That good, huh?” she teased.
“We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, that’s what he says, too. Well, you two keep on working with that premise if you feel you need to. But if you ask me you’re wasting daylight. Life is short, sweetie, and why on earth would you willingly give up one hour, much less a day, week or more that you could be happy?”
“I am happy,” Megan protested. “I have so much to be thankful for.”
Jessica leaned back and studied Megan as she sipped her coffee. “Apples and oranges. Appreciating God’s blessing does not necessarily equate with being happy. You never wanted anything for yourself, did you?”
“Only what I couldn’t have,” Megan said in the lighthearted tone of banter the two of them had always shared. Then, realizing how Jessica might take her words, she added, “I’m not talking about Danny, Jess.”
Jessica waved aside her explanation. “I know that.”
“Besides, I have so much. Faith is my life and…”
“Therein lies the problem,” Jess said. “Kids leave, Meggie. What will your life be when she’s off to college and a life of her own?”
“I’ll be here with you and Reba and my friends, working and, well, I mean, it’s not like Faith is going to just suddenly disappear one day like…” She stopped, shocked at what she had almost said.
“Like your mom, dad and Dan did?”
Megan forced a laugh. “Hey, it’s too beautiful a day to be so maudlin. Talk about you. How are things going? The store looks busy.” She glanced around at several customers browsing the racks and shelves of merchandise.
“Lookers mostly,” Jessica said. “I was telling Pete just last night that we might want to think about getting into some other line of work.” She ran a finger around the rim of her mug. “You don’t think Reba would be interested in selling the inn one day, do you?”