by Anna Schmidt
To his surprise she curled into a corner of the sofa. “Come sit with me,” she invited.
Okay, so this wasn’t a pastoral meeting. Jeb perched on the edge of the sofa, cradling his coffee mug with both hands. His heart was hammering so hard against his chest that he thought she must be able to hear it. But she showed no sign that she did—just took a sip of coffee and watched the gentle lift and fall of the lace curtains at the open window behind them.
“About before,” Jeb began, unable to restrain himself any longer.
“Jeb, I’m sorry for running away like that. It’s been a day filled with surprises.” She told him about Reba’s decision to sell the inn and live in Arizona half the year.
“The town won’t be the same without her,” he said.
“Well, she has to do what’s best for her situation.” Another sip of coffee and then she set the mug down on the glass-topped coffee table. “As do I.”
“You mean for you and Faith?”
“No. Faith’s immediate future is pretty well set. I talked to Reba about your idea of her reconnecting with her father, and Reba suggested that I give her the information she needs to do that if she chooses and leave it at that. What do you think?”
“Makes sense. She’s close to Jessica and that could be a link of sorts, if she wants it.”
“That’s what I thought. And regardless of how she chooses to use that information, she’s heading into her senior year and then college. It’s a magical time in her life—in any girl’s life,” she added wistfully.
Except for yours, Jeb thought.
“And while life doesn’t come with guarantees, she’s going to have that time with all of its joys and challenges.”
“You’ve given her that gift, Megan.”
She smiled. “I guess in some ways, yes. And then there’s Owen—Dad. This morning when I thought I would find him passed out in the trailer and then he wasn’t there, even thinking the worst of him I was so afraid. I prayed so hard as I searched every roadside ditch and field. And then there he was—safe and sober. Do you know how many times I wished for that when I was younger? That it would be different?”
“Maybe this time it is.”
“If he can just hang on,” she murmured, “maybe this time…”
“I still have some contacts in the medical field in Chicago, Megan. If you and Owen agree, I could make some calls, see if there are any new treatments available.”
Her smile was like sunshine coming from behind a cloud. She reached across the distance between them and grabbed his hand. “Would you? Oh, Jeb, that would be so wonderful. Even if there’s nothing, at least we would know for sure that we’re doing everything we can.”
“I’ll make some calls first thing Monday.” He set his coffee down and took her hand in his, shifting his body so that they were sitting side by side on the sofa.
“So that leaves us,” she said, toying with his fingers by lacing hers between each of his.
Chapter Thirteen
J eb searched for the exact right way to phrase his next question. After all, a few hours earlier Megan had run away when he’d started talking about a future for the two of them. “Okay, let’s talk about us. You first.”
It was a royal cop-out and he knew it, but he also needed more information if he wasn’t going to mess this up again.
“Well, it seems like everyone around me is making plans for the future, and most of them are telling me it’s past time that I did the same.”
“So, where do I fit in?” He took a risk and put his arm around her shoulders. She did not pull away.
“I’m not sure. I have to admit that life seemed a lot simpler when I could worry about others. I’m not comfortable thinking about myself.”
Jeb couldn’t help himself. “That may be the under-statement of the year,” he said with a chuckle.
“Yeah. I know.” A smile skittered across her lips. “Out of practice.”
“It’s been a long time,” he agreed. “Maybe I can help?”
“I don’t see how. That’s what I came to tell you. I need to find my way through this. Maybe then…”
“How about we find that path together?” He rested his forehead against hers. “We can start by talking through the what-ifs.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, for example, what if you knew for sure that Owen was going to make it this time, that Faith was going to sail through her senior year and enroll in the college of her dreams, that Reba was going to actually enjoy her life in Arizona? If you knew all of that, then what would you want for yourself? What would your life look like, Megan?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never really stopped to think about it. Maybe go back to school?”
“Okay, say you did that. Why would you do it? I mean, is the degree something you’ve always wanted for yourself?”
She shrugged uncomfortably. “Not really. It just seems to matter.”
“To who?”
She didn’t answer so he stated the obvious. “You think it matters to others—maybe even to me. But you’re wrong, Megan. The people who matter in your life will love you for who you are, not because you have some résumé of degrees and accomplishments.”
“How can you say it won’t matter if we— If you—”
Jeb stroked her hair. “Ah, now we’re getting to the crux of things. In the business world we used to ask job candidates where they saw themselves being in their careers in five years.”
“Why?”
“It was a measure of their ambition and self-confidence. One young woman that I was interviewing to be my assistant looked me right in the eye and replied, ‘Sitting where you are today.’”
It earned him a half smile. “What did you say?”
“I laughed and then I hired her on the spot.”
“And where was she after five years?”
“She had left to start her own company—ever hear of ShooBags?”
“Of course. Every woman in America knows that brand. They make affordable handbags and shoes that are fun and colorful and unique. That’s her?”
Jeb nodded. “I always kidded her that I had to make sure she headed down her own path so I could keep my job.”
“You must have been such a good boss—leader.”
“But at what cost, Megan? I put my personal life on hold and time ran out on us.”
He saw that Megan was about to seize on that and turn the tables so that they were talking about him, about his path to this place. “Megan, what if you could see a future for the two of us? What would that look like?”
She heaved a sigh that completely broke the intimacy of the mood and began pacing the small cramped living room. “Be realistic, Jeb. We’re not starry-eyed kids. We’re well aware of how things work in the real world, and these days ministers do not take up with, much less marry, unwed mothers.”
“I don’t believe that.” Jeb settled back on the sofa and watched her pace. “First of all, you are so much more than some label you allowed others to stamp on you, then kept on wearing like a neon sign, even after most people had long moved past the stereotype.”
“That’s hardly fair,” she snapped. “You haven’t walked in my shoes. You have no idea what it’s been like.”
“You could have changed that. Somewhere along the way you could have taken Faith and moved to another town, gotten a job, maybe even gone to school. But you stayed.” He let that idea sink in, then added, “Sometimes inaction is in and of itself an action, Megan. You chose to stay here. No one forced you.”
“Circumstances forced me. Where was I going to go? I was seventeen with a high school diploma and a baby.”
“You didn’t stay seventeen forever and Faith did not remain a baby. Reba gave you experience at the inn that could have translated to other markets. And still you stayed.” He was pushing her and knew it, but it seemed important even though he understood it might ruin his chances of ever building a future with her.
She stood at the fir
eplace for a long moment, resting her fists on the cold black marble of the mantel. “Why are you doing this?”
He waited a long moment and then fully opened the door to his heart. “Because I’m in love with you.”
When she didn’t say anything, didn’t look at him, didn’t move a muscle, he wondered if he’d actually spoken aloud. He pushed himself off the sofa and went to her, resting his hands on her shoulders as he turned her to face him. In the light of the single small table lamp, he saw her eyes glisten with tears and knew she’d heard him.
“I never thought I would say those words again, Megan. I thought I could never forgive myself enough to permit myself to offer love again. But I’m offering it to you. I’m far from perfect, but if you would agree to let me try, I promise you that I will love you with every fiber of my being.”
“Oh, Jeb, you deserve so much better.”
“Now, there you go again putting me—and others—on pedestals. Besides, God seems to be driving this thing. I had four other offers for my first job, knew not the first thing about Singing Springs, and ended up here. Then came the rains and the flooded basement and leaky roof, and where did I end up? Living at the inn where you and I would be together every day.”
“I think that may have been more Reba’s doing than God’s,” Megan said.
“God sometimes chooses His messenger. Let’s not let life come between us, Megan. Let’s walk through it together. I believe that there’s a higher force at work here and we need to pay attention, unless…”
It struck him then that Megan had never really given any sign that she returned his feelings. His male pride had made him assume she cared for him as much as he had come to care for her. But what if Danny Moreland had been the true love of her life? What if she’d never married because she still loved the father of her child, in spite of his abandonment? He suddenly felt as unsure of himself as a high school freshman with a crush on the prettiest girl in class.
“Hey, if I’ve misread this whole thing, tell me, okay?”
She reached up and cupped his face with her palms. “I think I fell in love with you that first Sunday when I saw you in the pulpit. At least I remember thinking, why couldn’t someone like you have come along years ago? Of course, then I spent the rest of the service praying for God’s forgiveness for harboring such thoughts in church.”
“What was it that caught your eye? My good looks? My sparkling wit? My engaging personality?”
“Your humility,” she said, ruffling his hair and laughing. But then she threaded her fingers through his hair and her expression grew serious. “I do love you, Jeb, and if you think…”
“I do,” he assured her, and this time he didn’t have to announce his intention to kiss her. This time she met him halfway.
Jeb walked her home. They held hands like sweethearts and were suddenly shy with each other, neither saying much until they reached the back porch of Reba’s small house.
“Big day,” Megan said and burst into giggles.
Jeb grinned. “You could say that. Hey, if you want to wait on this, that’s okay. I mean, now that I know you feel the same way…”
“No. You’re right. Our love for each other harms no one. There are those who may not approve, but I’ve been down that road and you know what? Eventually you turn a corner and things are better.”
“No more second thoughts?”
“Second, third and fifteenth,” she admitted. “But we both know there are no certainties in this life. I’m here for as long as you want me.”
He stepped back to look at her and frowned. Megan’s heart leapt to her throat. “What?”
“I’m just trying to picture you as an old woman. You’ll still be beautiful.”
She slapped her hand against his chest. “You scared me,” she chided. “I thought…”
Jeb caught her hands and pressed his lips to her fingers. “Here’s what I know for sure, Megan. I love you and I cannot wait to get started on the life we’re going to build together. We’ll have our troubles and trials, but never doubt my love for you.”
“I have to take things slow—for Faith’s sake,” she warned. “You understand that it could be a year or more before…”
He folded her into the cocoon of his arms and kissed her. “I know. Now get some sleep,” he instructed. “We have that party at the center to set up tomorrow.”
Megan stayed up half the night pacing her room and trying to decide how best to tell Faith—and Reba—that she and Jeb were in love. Reba would be thrilled, of course, but Faith was another matter altogether. Although she’d given her blessing for Megan and Jeb to date, had she really thought they might fall in love? Had Faith realized how life might change for al three of them?
Just before dawn she stood at her window and watched the sun fight its way through a bank of clouds turned orange, vermilion and red by the fanned rays. Red sky in the morning, she thought, sailors take warning.
While she had hoped for a quiet moment with Faith, Megan knew that was wishing for the moon and stars. Reba was up early, limping around the kitchen and fretting about the humidity and its effect on her aching joints. Then Owen stopped by.
“I could use a cup of coffee, if that’s okay,” he said. “I want to get up to the church and get that trim painted before the sun gets much hotter or the storms break—whichever comes first.”
Megan filled a mug, set it in front of him and then did the same for Reba.
“You got in late,” Reba commented, as if she were simply making idle conversation.
“I did,” Megan replied and continued mixing the coffee cake she was preparing for the guests.
“Morning,” Faith mumbled as she pulled out a chair and poured herself a glass of milk.
“And you’re up early,” Reba said. “The world is topsy-turvy.”
“I’m helping Gramps with the painting and then we have to decorate the center for tonight’s hoedown and…”
Megan slid the coffee cake into the oven and turned to face the three of them. “I have something to tell you. I thought I would talk to you each individually, but since you’re all here and—” she glanced at the clock “—and we have a few minutes…”
“What is it, child?” Reba asked, half rising as if to test Megan’s temperature with the back of her hand.
“I’m not sick,” Megan assured her. “I’m in love.”
“Same thing,” Owen muttered.
But Megan was watching Faith, who was drawing patterns on the condensation on her juice glass as if she were facing a final exam.
“With Jeb,” Megan added. “And he loves me.” Say something, Faith.
“Oh, honey,” Reba blubbered, “I’m so glad the two of you finally woke up and saw what’s been right there in front of the rest of us for some time now.”
“Faith?”
“Are you getting married then?” She was still working on the glass although she had already scraped it clear of any residue.
“That’s a long way off, honey. We’re both just getting used to the idea—as you are.”
“’Cause I’d kind of like it if I could help you plan the wedding.” Faith mumbled in a voice so soft that Megan thought she must have heard wrong. Then Faith looked up at her and smiled. “Like Auntie Reba said—it’s about time.”
Then she was out of her chair and hugging Megan, and the two of them were dancing around the kitchen together, talking on top of each other as Faith tossed out her ideas for a spring wedding.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Megan said. “Jeb hasn’t asked me.”
“Details,” Faith and Reba said in unison, then all three women giggled.
“Just after graduation would be perfect,” Faith said. “Don’t you think so, Auntie Reba?”
But then all three women sobered. It was unlikely that Reba would be around to help with the planning. The inn traditionally shut down for the season the last week in October, and soon after that Reba would be on her way to Arizona.
&
nbsp; Owen glanced up in the sudden silence. “What’s wrong with September? You can more likely count on the weather.” He pushed back his chair and set his empty mug in the sink. Then on his way to the back door, he awkwardly patted Megan’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you, Meggie. Real happy,” he said and then hurried out the door.
Megan watched him go, noticing how gaunt and frail he’d become. “Faith, would you take care of serving breakfast to the guests this morning?” Megan asked as she watched her father walk slowly up the hill toward the church. “I’ll help Dad with the painting.”
“Sure.”
Megan grabbed a baseball cap from the rack near the door and an old paint-spattered shirt from the closet, then stopped and put her hands on Faith’s shoulders. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” she asked. “I mean, with Jeb and me?”
“Mom, I’ve been acting like a kid—something Auntie Reba and Gramps have been only too thrilled to point out to me. I want you to be happy and if Rev Jeb makes you happy then go for it. But understand that I intend to let him know that if he hurts you, he will have to deal with me.”
“And me,” Reba said, taking a stand next to Faith.
“Hey, with you two in my corner, I’ve got nothing to worry about,” Megan said. “Come on, group hug.”
Jeb was coming out of the parsonage as she walked up the hill. His smile when he saw her left no doubt in her mind that the previous night had been real. They loved each other and did not care who knew it.
“I’m headed over to Eagle River to make some hospital visits,” he said. “Do you want to ride along?”
“Can’t. I’m helping Dad paint and then we have to get things ready for tonight.”
He kissed her forehead as normally as if they did that sort of thing all the time. Megan could not disguise her pleasure or her discomfort.
“Get used to it,” he said and kissed her again. “I’ll be back after lunch to help with the party, okay?”
“Bye.”
“Love you,” he called and then grinned. “Really like saying that,” he shouted as he drove off.
Megan was still smiling as she rounded the corner of the church and saw Owen wrestling with the extension ladder. “Dad, let me help.”