by Amy Lilwall
‘Bradley!’ said Talky.
Bradley looked at Talky then at Mrs Lucas. ‘Sorry about me, I shouldn’t be saying things like that.’ He dipped his head. Red patches footstepped up is neck and over his cheeks.
‘That’s quite alright.’ She smiled at him. ‘You’re training, are you?’
‘Yeah! This is only my third week. Still got a lot to learn.’
‘Bradley, you can just attach that bit to the scanner. There’s no need for the extension, we’ll take it all upstairs when the time comes.’
They worked in silence for a moment.
‘Should I just leave you to it?’
‘As you wish,’ said Talky without looking up.
‘I’ll make some tea, shall I?’
Talky looked up and jerked a nod without smiling. Bradley started to open his large black suitcase.
‘Right then.’ She turned and went to the kitchen, picking up a telephone handset on the way through.
Bonbon held her nose and looked around her. Blankey lay stretched out on the floor; her lips smacking together and her hands twisting about weirdly. Chips sat holding his feet and rocking, groaning to himself. Bonbon glanced down to where his hands were; his toes had become ten bloody stumps. A little mound of shit sank slowly into itself just under his twitching elbow. He dug his fingers further into his toes and yowled.
‘What’s wrong with him?’
‘Your hair’s all wet, Bonbon. Squeeze it into Blankey’s mouth.’
Bonbon leaned over Blankey and twisted her hair over the opened mouth. A tongue patched with white gunge slapped against crusty lips. ‘What about you, Jinx?’
‘I’m alright. He just brought us water.’ She nodded towards the soap dish. ‘There wasn’t much of it, though.’
Bonbon looked at Chips. ‘Why is he doing that?’
‘He spent most of the night trying to climb up the door. His fingers are the same.’ She nodded at the poo. ‘He can’t walk. I had to hold him up while he did that.’
Dried blood crusted its way up Chips’s legs. ‘Oh Chips, it’s all my fault…’
‘I’m alright, Bonbon. I’m alright. Just waiting for your she-one.’ He yelped again as he pinched his big toe.
‘Stop squeezing them, Chips. You’ll make it…’ But as she said this, Chips shoved his fingers in his mouth and sucked on them hard, his eyes twitching over his feet for blood.
‘He’s hungry, Bonbon,’ said Jinx. ‘Where is the She-one? Is she downstairs?’
‘I…’ said Bonbon. ‘I couldn’t find her.’
‘What?’
‘She wasn’t at home.’
‘Oh no, Bonbon! What are we going to do?’
Jinx’s face, which had been so happy to see her; which had looked at her so seriously when she’d asked if the She-one was downstairs, which had stood close to her ear and whispered ‘Darling’ in a man’s voice, now drooped its mouth and eyebrows at the same time. Bonbon’s ears burned, all the way to her neck. She took both of Jinx’s hands in her own. ‘Listen, Jinx. The door’s open, let’s just go, shall we? You and me. We don’t have to stay here. The door is open.’
‘What?’ Jinx’s eyes dimmed like the red lights on the vacuum bot when it was being switched off. ‘No, Bonbon! No! I can’t leave them, I won’t.’
Bonbon looked at the floor. She’d made Jinx’s eyes go out; Jinx’s eyes that had been all glowy for her even though she’d fallen asleep last night, even though she hadn’t brought food and even though she hadn’t talked to the She-one. She twisted her hair over Blankey’s mouth again; then did the same with Chips. ‘Stop that, Chips.’ She took one of his bloody hands and repeated the words that the old littler was saying inside her head. ‘You need your blood to survive.’ Lying on the floor next to him and the pile of shit, she smoothed her hair into one flat strip and wrapped it around his feet.
‘What will we do then, Bonbon?’
Bonbon wiped away a water-drop that was climbing down her eyebrow. ‘I’ve left a note,’ she said.
‘A what?’ Jinx’s eyes swivelled up to the left as the inside of her head translated. ‘But how did you do that?’
‘With wet flakes,’ said Bonbon. ‘I think I can write. I think the She-one will find it and come to save us.’
‘Really, Bonbon?’
‘Yes,’ Bonbon nodded. Then winced as her hair pulled at her head. ‘I wrote it on the tiles in the kitchen.’
Jinx spun around in a circle. ‘She’s coming!’ she sang. ‘Did you hear that, Chips? The She-one is coming!’
‘But…’ said Bonbon. ‘We have to wait for her to find the note. She might not find it until tonight. She might not come until much, much later.’
Jinx put the dish down and crouched in front of Bonbon. ‘It’s alright, Bonbon. I know she’ll see it and she’ll come straight away.’
Bonbon took a shivery breath. ‘I think we should go and get more water.’ She sniffed then wiped her nose on the back of her hand. ‘There’s loads of water coming out of the bath.’
Jinx nodded. ‘I’ll go,’ she said.
Bonbon tried to sing until she got back, listening for any cracks in her voice, her palms feeling the ground for rumbles from biggerer footsteps. ‘Are you alright, Jinx?’ she called after a while. Chips wiggled his toes and sucked a big puff of air through his teeth. ‘Don’t they feel better at all?’ she asked him.
‘It’s really heavy, Bonbon!’ shouted Jinx.
‘Um… Bonbon?’ said Chips.
‘Go slowly, Jinx! Try not to spill any!’
‘Bonbon?’ said Chips again.
‘I’m going slow but my arms are getting tired.’
‘Put it down for a moment if you have to.’
‘Bonbon?’
‘Yes, Chips?’
‘You know you said that this was all your fault?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s not.’
Bonbon looked up towards the top of her head where she could see Chips leaning over her, all upside down and weird. ‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s mine.’ His upside-down eyebrows curved into one long smile and he started to cry.
‘Why?’
He sniffed wetly then swallowed. ‘I told a… I told a lie.’
The old littler translated ‘lie’ and Bonbon’s eyes widened. ‘What kind of lie?’
‘I knew B-Blankey had c-come that night. I found her things underneath the cupboard.’
‘Is Chips crying?’
‘Don’t tell Jinx,’ he whispered. ‘I love Jinx.’
Bonbon’s mouth made a short, straight line. ‘Alright,’ she said, not knowing if she should think that he was bad or… or something else. She started to unravel his feet. Pictures popped out of each uncovered toe. Chips in the garden with his humcoat. His face when they’d asked him if he’d seen Blankey. Chips kissing Jinx. Chips kissing Blankey. Bonbon kissing Jinx. ‘I love Jinx,’ he’d said. ‘I love Jinx.’ The word whispered itself. She let it form and pop on her lips like the bubbles on the surface of the bath. Bonbon loved her too. Yet she hadn’t saved her… Bonbon turned to Chips: ‘Maybe we’ve both been bad,’ she said, ‘I don’t think it means that we’re bad, though.’ She pulled herself to her feet and went over to Blankey who lay on her back, letting out little snores.
Chips stopped rocking and wiped his eyes with bloody thumbs. ‘I never thought I’d hear her snore.’
‘She’s hungry,’ said Bonbon, holding the bottom of the bedspread up and looking out for Jinx.
‘Hungry, who’s hungry?’ Chips looked up and started to nibble the brown blood under his fingernails.
Jinx appeared at the door, her top half bent right back to allow the dish to rest against her belly.
‘I’m coming to help!’ Bonbon shouted, letting her voice bounce around the room. Where was he? Running up to Jinx, she took the other side of the dish.
Jinx blinked and stuck out her tongue as she concentrated on walking very quickly without spilling the water. Bonb
on looked at her, ‘love’ and ‘darling’ floating as words around her head in flake-coloured letters.
‘Why was Chips crying?’
‘He wasn’t crying,’ Bonbon strained as they lowered the dish to the floor. ‘Just pretending to be someone that was.’
They heard the front door slam below, sucking the bedroom door shut with a fwuuumf. Bonbon turned and looked at up at it. Browny red lines smeared up and down the back of it from where Chips had tried to get out during the night.
‘Do you think it’s the She-one, already?’ said Jinx.
Bonbon shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Mr Wix?’
‘Yes?’
‘I’m sorry to bother you; it’s Mrs Lucas here.’
‘Mrs Lucas?’ said Hamish at the same time that she’d said ‘Mrs Lucas’. ‘Oh no… Are they there already?’
‘The technicians? Yes, they are.’
‘Really? Oh dear, I was just about to call you.’
‘Well, they don’t hang around, I can tell you.’
‘I’m so sorry, I should have called you first. I don’t know why I didn’t. The idea just occurred to me and I…’
‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for your concern.’
Hamish took a deep breath. ‘I just thought that if she’d been locked in somewhere, this would be the quickest way of finding her. I called as soon as I thought of it because… Well… If she hasn’t had any water then she’ll probably be very dehydrated by now.’
‘Yes, you’re right. Thank you for calling them for me; that’s such a kind thing to do.’
‘Would you like me to come over? Are they a bit daunting?’
‘Would you mind?’
‘I’ll be two minutes.’
‘Thank you so much.’
‘What are you up to?’
Hamish jumped and turned around. His own body had been hiding Susan. And Susan’s ears. She stood there with one hand over a white towel that swirled upwards on her head like chantilly cream. When did she get back? ‘Nothing. When did you get back?’
‘About forty minutes ago. I… um… didn’t have time to shower this morning. What are you doing back?’
‘I don’t have another appointment until four.’
Susan nodded. ‘Who was that on the phone?’
‘Mrs Lucas.’
‘Oh right.’ Then: ‘Is she okay?’
‘Yes, yes…’
‘Has she found Blankey?’
‘Erm… No… But…’
‘You’re all guilty.’ Her gaze flicked down and poked him in the stomach.
‘Pah!’ Hamish sat on the second stair. ‘Says she who’s home at lunchtime wrapped in nothing but a towel.’ He saw her skin pale and her mouth grin the tiniest bit before trying to be serious.
‘Don’t change the subject.’
‘Who’s guilty now?’
She touched her right hand to her left shoulder; a protective chest-covering gesture, also employed to detract attention from the grin that was trying to break out again. He grinned at her exaggeratedly while pulling on his shoe. She forced her mouth into a pout, then laughed at the front door, the tip of her tongue held between her teeth.
‘You’re a pain in my arse.’
‘You should know not to pick a fight with me.’
‘You’re so clever, Hamish. If only everyone could be as clever as you. Where are you going?’
‘To Mrs Lucas’s house. She wants me to, to reach something down for her.’
‘To reach something down for her?’
Hamish stopped and sighed. ‘Yes, Susan; to reach something down for her.’
‘Alright. Don’t get stroppy.’ Susan walked towards Hamish as he did up the lace on his second shoe. ‘I’m allowed to be interested if my other half’s being all heroic.’
‘Ha! Hardly.’
‘Would you like me to come?’
‘What? No!’
‘Are you sure? It’s just that I’d like to see her. I said that I’d give her a call today anyway, it would be just as easy to… I’ll just throw my clothes back on.’
‘For pity’s sake, Susan, why do you have to push it all the time? I just said “no”.’
Susan stepped back, her mouth a little twitchy. Oh bugger. He’d upset her.
‘I mean that… It’s been a long morning. I just want to relax, if I’m honest, Suzie. I’ll only be about five minutes, then I can come back and we can get on with our meeting.’
‘Meeting?’
‘Meal. I meant to say meal. Sorry… I’m a bit tired. I bought some wine from Shepherd’s. Why don’t you open it while I’m gone?’
‘Wine? Hamish, I have to go back to work.’
‘Oh, yes… I got you some ice cream. The Smurf one. You know that all those e-numbers make you feel like dancing.’ Hamish bounced his shoulders up and down to indicate dancing.
Susan slit her eyes. ‘You’re being weird.’
‘Fine! I’m being weird.’
‘Weirdo.’
‘I have to go. Open the wine.’
‘No!’
‘Ice cream. I mean, ice cream.’
She watched as the door buzzed open and he disappeared through it, sun beams jumping into his hair and lighting up the growing patches of skin between each follicle on the crown of his head. She covered a smirk with her hand. It would take him two lunch breaks to treat that hair-loss. But as long as he hadn’t noticed, she wasn’t going to tell him. Right, she had five minutes. Holding her towel she ran into the living room, tapped one of the many coloured squares on the glass-top coffee table. ‘Fold away and close AbLab,’ said the table as the running machine folded up into the wall. ‘Good jahb!’ the pink lycra woman gushed, then: ‘How aboud a boody builder burn-out?’
‘No thank you.’ Right. Coffee. Clothes. She turned and walked to the kitchen – oh dear, what was that on the floor? One of them had an accident, probably… She got closer, her knees bending and her brow denting to make out… letters. She squatted, letting go of the towel, her finger tracing out a sentence…
Sheewun jinks iz in trubbal at chips hous.
CHAPTER 14
‘I just can’t believe I’ve never been here before.’
‘Well, Quail, it’s not the safest place in the world for you to be.’
‘It has the best cakes, though.’
‘I don’t need you to tell me that.’
‘And anyway, they wouldn’t have let me come here if it was that bad.’
Reg rested his chin on his hand and gazed into his teacup.
‘Would they?’
He pushed his chin forwards and scratched at it. ‘Knowing my sibling as I do, Watty would have said to himself that you were better off staying here than running out into the wild with all the bears and tigers.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Isabel said through a mouthful of coffee and walnut. ‘I wouldn’t have run away.’
‘You would have vented all that crossness somehow.’
‘Not true!’
‘I saw those flashy eyes.’ He caught a brown crumb from her chin with the hollow of his fingernail before looking behind him at the door.
She saw him looking over his shoulder. ‘Whose idea was it then, this place? Yours or Watty’s?’
‘Well. Watty wanted to sell cakes in the morning, then slouch in an armchair all afternoon, reading and writing. I thought that a launderette would be much less hassle than cake-baking.’
Isabel nodded. ‘Fewer rules?’
‘There is that. But also, a launderette can run itself; you don’t have to be on the premises. “But I need things to write about, I need to see people!” Watty used to say. “I want them to come here because it’s a nice place to write and draw and be lazy…” Every day I’d get shown a notebook page with drawings of cupcake mountains and menu plans… We eventually reached a compromise: a launderette/coffee shop with a few books thrown in.’
‘And then Watty ran off with Drew!’
�
�And then Watty ran off with Drew, leaving me to make cakes and “see people”…’ Reg twisted his shoulders around and looked at the door again.
‘I’d like you to take me back tomorrow,’ said Isabel.
‘The cake can’t be that good then.’
‘You can’t keep pretending to me that the shop’s open. Don’t you think I can see the closed sign through the blinds?’
‘Oh; did I forget to turn it around?’
‘No, you didn’t.’ She broke off another crumb. ‘Your customers will go elsewhere.’
‘Quail, honestly. You can stay as long as you like.’
‘Thanks, Reg.’ Then: ‘I just wanted to have a think. Just for one night.’
‘—.’
‘Why do you think that Drew kept me?’
‘Honestly?’
‘—.’
‘Because you were the only one that stayed alive. Even before Drew and Watty were together, Drew would come in here two or three times a week and talk about how awful it was to work in that lab.’ Reg tilted his head in the direction of the lab. ‘Discreetly of course. I didn’t really know what was going on. It was Watty who became Drew’s little confidant. Would dish out free cake and coffee, and wash Drew’s lab coat. Didn’t bother me. It took me a while to work out that they were smitten. But I’ve never been tuned into that kind of thing… “I’ll never have children,” Drew used to say, “not when I’ve killed so many. I don’t deserve them.” Killed him inside; he became obsessed with them.’ Reg steepled his hands in front of him. ‘I think you were very unexpected, Isabel; and Drew was in a position where a big decision had to be made quickly without entertaining the consequences. Knowing how much heartache Drew endured, precisely because none of these children would stay alive… You can understand why it was an easy decision to make.’ He twirled a spoon in his empty coffee cup. ‘Think about it, Quail, what would you have done?’
Isabel stared at Reg. ‘Do you really want to know?’
‘—.’
‘I would have brought the baby, me, to term and then made it public.’
Reg wrinkled his brow. ‘That would mean prison; and the baby, you, would have been taken away.’
‘That would mean that I would be taking responsibility for my actions to give my baby, me, a normal life.’