“Me, Lily…you could have turned to me. I was figuring something out.”
“I know.” Her vision drifts. “But it was getting worse. Rhett was becoming more abusive and I was scared he was going to hurt Ollie. I didn’t know what else to do, so I went to the FBI for help. In exchange for my testimony against your brother, they promised to keep us safe. But I had to take Ollie into hiding with me. No one was ever supposed to know…I’d never be able to tell you or your mother, but there was nothing else I could do.”
It sounded plausible and cruel at the same time.
“They devised the house fire,” she continued, “knowing that the structure was weak and the electrical wires weren’t in good shape. The fire marshal worked with them to declare it an accident. I told the FBI everything they needed to know in order to bring your brother down.”
“And yet, he didn’t actually go down, did he?”
“No. He got word of it the night of the fire and was coming home to deal with me. So I called the agent I was working with and he came and got us out. That’s why Rhett fled the country. Not because he was guilty of setting the house on fire and killing us, but because he was done for and he knew it.”
“But he found you,” I finished for her. “And he’s coming back for revenge now.”
“I’m afraid so. He blames you for everything. He suspected the truth about us…he beat me almost every night because of it.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and look at Lily. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were eighteen. You were in a bad place after Alexandra’s death.” She looks away. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to save us.”
The guilt knocks me back in my seat. I don’t know what to think. Lily is right; I couldn’t have saved them, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have tried. I knew things were bad for her, but I hadn’t realized they were potentially lethal. I didn’t know she was desperate to get out. She did what she had to in order to survive.
But now, she’s out in the open…
“Why are you here?”
Her eyes widen and her jaw drops.
“I mean, why after all this time are you letting me know you’re alive? Don’t you know how risky that is? Rhett has already found you and Ollie; he’s made a promise to come after you. What are you thinking?”
“It’s fine,” Lily says calmly. “He’s doing exactly what he’s supposed to be doing.”
It takes me a moment to realize what she means. “You’re drawing him out, aren’t you?”
She says nothing.
“What the hell are you thinking? What about Ollie? How can you put him at risk?”
She looks at me with fury in her eyes. “Ollie is exactly the reason I’m doing it. I live in fear of that man. I’m constantly looking over my shoulders, wondering if today is going to be the day Rhett shows up on our doorstep and make us pay for my decision. For my betrayal. I can’t live like this anymore, Reid. Ollie deserves to live a life free of worry. Not letting him play outside unless it’s in the backyard with me. Not letting him stay overnight at his friend’s house. Not having his mom work as a cafeteria attendant at his school to keep an eye on him. He deserves a normal life.”
“Don’t you realize this is putting both of you at an even bigger risk?”
She tries to reassure me. “Ollie is safe. They’re keeping him safe until Rhett is brought in.” Her tone matches the anger in her eyes. “I’m sorry you’re being dragged into this. I had no idea he’d try to come after you as well.”
“Yeah, well, he is, and it’s ruining my damn life.”
“She’s beautiful, by the way.”
I stare at her and furrow my eyebrows.
“Liza. She’s perfect for you. Are you married?”
There’s no way she could have known any of what Liza and I have been through. “Almost,” I tell her. “But the wedding is off.”
Lily frowns. “Whatever happened, Reid, you have to fix it.”
“This happened, Lily – Rhett and you and the fire, and so many lies and secrets that I couldn’t tell her. And she saw us tonight.” If I hadn’t fucked it all up before, I certainly have now.
“I saw that,” Lily says softly. “I’m sorry. Maybe she’ll—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I stop her before she goes further.
We sit across from one another saying nothing. The minutes tick by as I try to make sense of what I have discovered tonight. “You’re really going through with this?”
“I am. There’s isn’t any other way.”
Lily is alive. She and her FBI contacts have some crazy plan to lure my brother out of hiding.
I can’t let her do it alone.
“I want in.” I finally break the silence. “If you’re going to take Rhett down, I’m going to help you.”
Lily smiles.
I try not to feel what I’m feeling, but it happens anyway.
CHAPTER TEN
I DROP LILY OFF AT HER CAR. Before I leave, I hug her tightly and promise her that we will bring Rhett down together. I stand in the parking garage for a long time after she leaves, leaning against the railing and letting the breeze cool me down. My thoughts are a mess. All this time I believed my brother was responsible for my undoing eight years ago, but he isn’t. My undoing came at the hand of Lily, the one I let down. Now I find myself letting down the woman I love again.
Liza.
Everything comes back to her again.
I have to deal with my brother. It’s the only way Liza and I have a chance at making it.
My thoughts are bombarded by memories of Lily now. The love I felt for her. The pain I felt when I lost her. I know this. They say you never forget your first love, and I certainly haven’t. But Lily is my past, and Liza is my future. I need to make sure that she and Ollie are safe before I can move forward.
I yell as loudly as I can. I pour every emotion into it. Letting it all out. My voice begins to crack, and I finally stop. The echo of my voice off the garage walls reminds me of how hollow I feel. My head is pounding. I need to clear my mind for the night. I need to forget about everything… not forever; just for now. I can start to sort things out tomorrow.
I leave the parking garage and drive around aimlessly, not wanting to go home to an empty house, which technically isn’t really empty, since Marco is there. But I really don’t want to hear another lecture. I drive until I reach downtown and find myself pulling into the back lot of Gravity, a nightclub I helped my cousin start a few years back. A drink in this environment sounds like the perfect distraction.
It’s a Thursday night, and the club is full to maximum capacity. This never ceases to amaze me. I enter through the back and make my way to the bar. The music is loud; the bass vibrates through my bones. I lean up against the bar and take in my surroundings. The dance floor is wall-to-wall bodies grinding against one another to the tempo of the music. People sit among the booths that surround the dance floor. I look up to the Platinum Booth, the VIP section above the dance floor, and see that there are people there. On any other night, I’d stop in to see how they were doing and make sure everything meets their needs. But tonight isn’t about business. It’s about forgetting.
I turn around and grab the attention of the bartenders. A short girl with platinum blonde hair comes over. “I’ll take a Jack on the rocks.” If tonight is about forgetting, I might as well do it right.
The bartender pulls out a glass and pours my drink. She’s not very generous, and I signal her to pour more. She raises her eyebrow and puts the bottle back on the shelf. She sets the glass in front of me. “That’ll be nine dollars, buddy.”
“Oh…will it?” I ask. I don’t reach for my wallet.
Trista, one of the bartenders who’s been here since the club opened, joins the stare down between the blonde and me. She pulls the bottle back up and fills my glass. “Sorry, Reid. New girl.”
I nod.
“Jess, this is Reid Harder, one of our biggest investor
s,” Trista says.
Jess looks at me, her eyes wide. “Wow…I’m so sorry.”
I raise my glass, smile, and nod at her. “Don’t apologize. Just keep ’em coming.”
The blonde, whose cheeks flush a bright shade of red, nods in return. There’s no attitude this time.
I pull out a barstools and sit with my back to the bar. Glass after glass of whiskey hits my stomach. The dance crowd grows larger and larger as the time passes. I’ve lost count of how many drinks I’ve had, but it’s enough to make my vision is hazy and my speech slurs.
I turn and ask Jess for another drink. She looks down the bar to Trista, who just shrugs. Jess pours me another. “Here you go, big guy.”
“Thank you very much.” It comes out soft and lazy.
“Not that it’s any of my business…” As if that’s going to stop her. “But are you okay? You seem pretty deep-in.”
The filter is down, and everything comes out in a few sentences. “Well, the woman I used to love just came back from the dead, and the woman I’m in love with now just called off our wedding. But my friend Jackie D. here is taking care of all that.” I flash her a shitty grin and bring the glass to my lips. I let the whiskey slide down my throat, burning as it goes down, and set the empty glass back down on the bar. “He wants to go another round, if you’d be so kind.”
“Don’t you think you should slow down?” She raises an eyebrow and looks at me with concern.
“I’m just getting started.”
A hand clasps my shoulder, and I turn, ready to lay into whoever thinks they can approach me like this. Suddenly, I’m face to face with the last guy I want to see right now.
”Eli!” I turn back and discover another drink. I empty the glass and slam it back on the bar. “Shouldn’t you be at home hanging out with Liza?”
Eli takes the empty barstool next to me. “She’s in bed, asshole,” he says loud enough so I can hear him over the music. “She’s crying her eyes out after seeing you—again. Are you going to keep hurting her like this, Reid?”
I spin in my chair, my blood boiling. “Listen, you little shit…I’m not hurting her on purpose. It’s a bad situation we’re in, but I never meant for her to get stuck in the middle of it. I bet you’re enjoying every second of this though, huh? You’ve got Liza in your arms crying, and you’re reassuring her she’s making the right decision, hoping to God that she’ll wake up any minute now and realize she’s in love with you instead of me. Newsflash: she isn’t. So get the fuck over it already.”
Eli laughs. “Just keep telling yourself that, okay?”
“Whatever.” I turn and shake my glass for another. Eli clears his throat next to me. “You aren’t gone yet?”
“Maybe you’ve had enough for tonight,” he says. He doesn’t sound his usual dickish self. “Why don’t I drive you home before you get in any further?”
I let out an aggravated groan. “Why don’t you fuck off and leave me the hell alone? I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“Are you?” Eli stands from his barstool and rests his hand on my shoulder. “C’mon, Reid. Let’s go.”
“Fuck off, Elias.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
“Why do you even care? You don’t want her with me. You’ve made that clear since day one.” I look at him and the club around him starts to blur. I feel lightheaded and woozy.
“No matter what I’d like the truth to be, Liza still loves you. As long as that’s true, I can’t let anything happen to you. It would devastate her.”
“You’re a real fucking saint.” I stand and try to balance myself. My body rocks back and forth, then I fall back down on the barstool. “I just need a moment and I’ll be fine. You can go now.”
Eli stands in front of me and crosses his arms over his chest. “Not a chance.”
The strobe light is making me dizzier and my eyes hurt. Okay, I’ll admit it, I have had too much to drink. But I’m certainly not going to let this asshole know. I pinch the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath. I try to stand again but any and all movement brings about motion sickness, so I stay glued to my seat. I am in no shape to walk, which means driving is out of the question.
Eli smirks. “See?”
All the anger in me has gone flat. “I really fucked things up, didn’t I?” I’m not sure if I’m talking to him, or to myself.
Eli seems to make the decision for me. “Yep.” I let out a groan. “Whether or not you fix it is up to you.”
“Fix it, fix it, fix it.” I sigh. “That’s what everyone keeps saying. What if I can’t fix it? What then?”
“What if you stop whining like a little shit and start owning up to your mistakes?” He doesn’t pull his punches. Maybe that’s what I need to hear, though.
The blaring music is throbbing in my ears and my headache is getting worse.
“So…about that ride…” I say, even though I don’t want to.
Eli just shakes his head.
I nod and slowly rise. I gain temporary balance, blink my eyes a few times trying to clear the haze, and slowly start to push my way through the crowd.
Eli walks behind me, helping clear people out of the way, placing his hands on my shoulders to balance me every so often. As much as I hate the dick, I’m pretty glad he’s here tonight. There’s no way I could have made it out to my car, much less to my house. I probably should’ve just passed out in my office upstairs. Now there’s a thought. Why didn’t I think about that before?
The crisp, cool air hits me as we walk out the back door, and it sobers me up a little. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, watching my breath fog up in the cold air. Eli directs me to his car. I climb into the passenger seat of his Range Rover without complaint. He starts the car and turns the heater on, idling for a moment to let it warm up. The blast of warm air makes me feel nauseous. I roll down my window and stick my head out into the cooler air. After a few seconds I feel a little better and roll up the window, leaving a small crack for the breeze to hit my face. Eli backs the car out of the parking spot and heads toward my house.
The first few minutes are quiet. Then for some reason, I just start telling him the story.
“Her name is Lily,” I say softly.
Eli glances over at me, raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“I said…” I take a deep breath and speak louder. “I said her name is Lily. She’s the reason Liza is so upset.”
“Did you cheat on her with this Lily woman?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” I shake my head. “She’s my brother’s wife. I used to be in love with her. I thought she died in a fire, but it turned out she didn’t. And my crazy-ass brother is now hell-bent on revenge against the two of us.” I press my forehead against the cool glass window.
“Revenge for what, Reid? You’re not making sense.”
I dug deeper into the details. “Lily and I had an affair behind my brother’s back. I thought he killed her in a house fire because he’d found out about us. Turns out she’s been in witness protection. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, and things I don’t approve of. I’ve used women…and worse than that. I’m not proud of what I was before I met Liza. That’s why I can’t tell her. I can’t tell her I fell in love with my brother’s wife, or that we had a relationship behind his back. Or that it started as a game…what kind of man gets a woman to fall in love with him out of revenge and then leaves her to deal with the consequences on her own? He beat her over it…” The pain of that was so fresh.
Eli was quiet for a while. “I’m not sure what to say here, Reid.”
“And yet you think I should tell Liza? That I should explain to her how I wanted to destroy the one good thing my brother had in his life for my own selfish reasons, but that it destroyed me instead? Maybe it’s better that she left. Less pain in that than in her knowing what she almost had with a bastard like me.”
“Look,” Eli says as he pulls up to the gate at the end of my driveway,
enters the code and drives through. “You’re not giving her much credit for being able to handle what you have to say, and to forgive you for any or all of it. And you won’t ever know how things would be after all this truth is told unless you actually tell her.” He pulls to a stop in front of the house. “Don’t you think she at least deserves to know what this is really all about?”
He has a point. I really hate that.
“Nah…I’ll let you do it. Just run back home and tell her all of this, to spite me.” I unbuckle my seatbelt.
“Oh, no,” he protests. “I’m not saving your ass and making it easy for you to get out of this. You want to know what her reaction is, you tell her yourself.”
I open the door and slide out of the car. “Why do you even give a shit?” I still can’t understand his stake in this.
“Because...you’re right, Reid. I love Liza, and I have since I can remember. I want her to be happy. But she doesn’t love me back; she loves you. And you’re a luckier fucker than you deserve to be for that. If you want to lose her forever, keep doing what you’re doing now.” He pauses. “If you want to win her back, then grow a pair and tell her what she needs to hear.” Then he backs out of the driveway.
I watch his lights fade in the distance.
I wish I could be as honest with Liza as he just was with me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“HEY, UH…REID?” Derek’s voice filters through the intercom. “There are some guys out here wearing suits and flashing badges that say they’re with the FBI. They’re pretty…intimidating.”
I chuckle. “Send them in, Derek.”
“Is everything okay, boss? Anything I should be worried about?”
I try not to laugh. I’m glad I got rid of my last assistant. Derek takes his job far and beyond the job description. “Everything is fine. Send them in.”
Derek walks in first, looking scared. He has good reason. The two guys following him are indeed big and intimidating. The first man is built like a brick house and must have a good three inches on my six- foot-two-inch frame. His dark hair is cut military short. The other guy is just as tall and equally solid, but with blond hair a bit longer than his partner’s in a pristine style that screams “I’m a professional, dammit!” No one says a word. I fail to swallow the lump in my throat.
If I Say No (Say Something #2) Page 7