He had spent a lot of years angry at God, and sometimes angry at his family for not losing faith. They had nearly lost everything else. But faith was the one thing they always had a lot of.
Now, he looked back and wondered how he resented the thing that kept them together, that kept them smiling and hoping for better days. It seemed silly now, to think that he resented the faith that had made his family whole and happy, and his childhood one of laughter and play.
His parents had never given up. And his grandmother had always sung “Amazing Grace” as if it meant everything.
He drove from the old farmhouse to the Waters cottages. He was pulling down the narrow drive to the spot where Kasey had been found when he heard a vehicle downshift. He turned and watched as Lexi’s truck turned and eased down the drive to park behind his.
Lately it seemed as if she was everywhere. He knew what his mom would say about that. She’d say something like maybe it was God showing him the right path.
More than likely it was just because they lived in a small town and people bumped into each other nearly every day.
His thoughts returned to the fact that he hadn’t been out to see his parents for a couple of weeks. He needed to get back out there, soon. But at the moment, Lexi was walking toward him, her smile a little hesitant.
“What are you doing out here?” He pulled sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on.
“A sick cow and a horse with thrush.” She shrugged and looked away from him. “What about you? How did your meeting go?”
“An older woman that needed reward money. But I think she might have actually seen Kasey.”
“So you’re here to…what?”
“Look for something that I’m missing.” He glanced away from her, thinking about that, about missing something. “There has to be something here that I haven’t found, or seen. She was here, so maybe there’s something else.”
“Or maybe not. Maybe she was dropped here by the tornado? Maybe it carried her a short distance? What if her mom left her here to run into town, left her alone?”
He started walking toward the area where Greg Garrison had found Kasey. Lexi, in work boots, jeans and a T-shirt, walked along next to him. Their fingers touched, but he didn’t take hold of her hand. She didn’t look at him.
“Colt, there might not be anything here.”
He knew what she meant. She knew that sometimes a case got hold of him and he couldn’t let go. He had spent days combing the side of the road where Gavin had been shot and weeks searching for the shooter. He’d caught him, too. He was going to find out what happened to Kasey’s mother.
“Colt, don’t let this eat away at you.” Lexi’s fingers touched his again.
“Are you telling me to let it go?”
“No, I’m not. I’m saying, don’t…” She smiled. “Don’t forget I’m praying.”
Like his mother, always praying. He smiled at her, at the wistful look in her eyes, because this faith stuff was real to her. It was what she’d been looking for when she faithfully attended church each Sunday. His leaving had taken her to this place, where it was real.
“Could you pray that God would show me what I’m missing?”
“I’ll pray you’ll see what you’re missing.” She kissed his cheek and walked away.
He brushed a hand through his hair and shook his head a little. He knew exactly what he was missing. He watched her get in the Ford truck and drive away.
Lexi drove back to town with the radio cranked and the windows open, letting cool air blow through the cab of the truck. She called herself lots of names for stopping when she saw Colt. It was as if she couldn’t help herself. He was such a part of her heart, but she really had thought that she was moving on.
The tornado had changed more than the landscape.
It had changed how she felt. Or maybe just reminded her how it felt to be in his arms.
Her cell phone rang. She answered and cringed a little when she realized it was the number of the fellowship director for singles at High Plains Community Church. She had attended a few functions, gotten matched up on a few blind dates, and now they thought she was on the market.
“Vera, how can I help you?” Lexi hit her turn signal and pulled onto the quiet street just off Main Street that led to her veterinary clinic, and what had once been her house.
“We’re having an impromptu meeting tonight.” Vera chewed gum, even on the phone. “We’d love for you to bring some of that great chicken casserole I know you have in the freezer.”
“I don’t know, Vera, I’m really beat.” And that wasn’t a lie. For the last five miles she’d been yawning nonstop.
“I know you are, honey. But we’re making up posters for nearby towns. We’ve finished Kasey posters and we’re going to make more for Tommy’s dog. I know it’s been eight weeks, but there’s still hope.”
“Yes, there’s hope.” But the hope was dwindling. Lexi couldn’t bring herself to say that. She remembered her own lost dog when she was a kid. She’d made posters for months, hanging them all over their neighborhood. Her parents had been too busy, so she had called the humane society herself.
“So, you’ll be there?”
For Tommy and his dog. “Yes, I’ll be there.”
She would have to take a quick shower, stick the casserole in the microwave and feed her animals. She was exhausted thinking about it, about rushing around when she only wanted a cup of coffee and a few minutes sitting outside by herself.
When she pulled up to the church an hour later it looked as if a good crowd had gathered. And Lexi didn’t want a big crowd, not tonight when her heart was feeling a little bruised by everything going on.
She could put it down to the tornado, the damage to the town, the loss of her house, Tommy and his dog and Kasey. It had a lot to do with Colt.
But tonight was a good night for getting her mind off him. Her phone rang and she answered it.
“It’s me.” Jill.
“Are you watching out the window to see if I’ll leave?”
“No, of course not.”
“Yes, you are. And I’m not leaving. I’m going to come in there, get pushed at the pick-of-the-month and maybe even accept when he asks me to go out.”
“Whatever.” Jill laughed, real and contagious.
“I mean it.” Lexi got out of her truck, still on the phone. Jill opened the door, waiting for her.
“Of course you do. Hey, do you know the guy that just pulled in?”
Lexi glanced back at the car pulling in next to hers. “He doesn’t belong here.”
“He can’t come to church?”
“He can come to church, but he doesn’t attend functions like this. He’s too cool.” Lexi had reached the door and clicked off her phone. Jill hugged her. “And if I have to watch single women fawn all over him, I’m leaving.”
“Because you care?” Jill hugged her again and waved at Colt.
“No, I don’t care. But what gives. You’d better tell me before he gets up here and we can’t talk.”
“I think he’s here to give us information for the posters. That’s all.”
Lexi shook her head and pinched Jill’s arm. “That’s a lie. And you’re in church.”
“It is not a lie, not completely.” Jill pulled Lexi to the corner of the vestibule, closing the door behind them. “He’s here because people are starting to get the idea that the two of you need to get back together.”
Lexi swallowed hard and tried to breathe, but it hurt. “This can’t be happening.”
“Sorry, but it is.”
“I should go.” But the door opened and Colt walked in, still wearing his dark jeans and the T-shirt that said Police in big white letters.
She remembered when he had been a lanky farm kid, going to college. Now he was filled out in all the right places and still as confident as ever. He walked with purpose, steady and lethal. His smile was just as lethal. It made her knees weak.
Or maybe she had a virus
. She had been around some runny-nosed kids lately. That could be it. And she hadn’t eaten yet. So maybe her blood-sugar levels were low. That would explain the way her heart raced a little and her skin felt a little sweaty and clammy at the same time.
“You two look like you’re up to something.” He took off the cowboy hat that was a part of his uniform and ran fingers through slightly shaggy sun-bleached hair.
“You need a haircut,” Lexi shot back.
“I agree. So, do you agree that the two of you are acting like you’re up to something?”
Jill laughed, an easy, unaffected laugh. “Honey, we’re not the ones up to something. Come on in, though.”
“I have the information you need.” Colt handed it to Jill. “But I’m not sure if more posters will do the trick.”
“You never know.” Jill motioned him inside. “Stay and help us?”
“Can’t.” He looked a little relieved by that. “I have a city council meeting.”
“Lucky you.” Lexi glanced into the fellowship hall of the church and realized the odds were good for the men. Lots of lonely, single women and five men.
“You’ll have a good time.” Colt leaned, sniffing the casserole that she still held. “Smells good.”
“You don’t want to stay and eat?” she offered.
“Not on your life, sweetheart.”
Chapter Five
Colt sat at the back of the meeting room attached to the fire department waiting for his turn to speak. The voices droned and he didn’t pay much attention to the topics. Someone’s lawn wasn’t mowed, they needed a new mower and the city clerk had requested a raise.
Headlights flashed around the corner. Finally, something to catch his attention. He watched, waiting to see who it was. And it was Lexi. He had called her as soon as he got to the meeting, to let her know that her name wasn’t on the agenda, but Hank Farris had brought up her animals and planned on trying to sneak the discussion into the meeting. He thought Lexi should try to make the meeting. She slowed as she passed, and then he saw her brake lights reflected in the window of the door.
“Chief, did you hear that question?” Mayor Dawson asked, her voice echoed off the bare walls of the room. “Jeremy French wants to know if you’re aware of those boys that have been scavenging through some of the homes.”
“We’re aware, but we need for someone to do more than point fingers. We need a call during the actual scavenging, or the real identities of those involved. I’ve talked to some boys, but none of them are talking or taking responsibility for the thefts.”
Jeremy grunted and looked none too pleased. The door behind Colt opened, bringing in cool air and the light floral of Lexi’s perfume. He turned, and she smiled an uneasy smile. He pointed to the chair next to his. The chair she used to sit in during every city council meeting. Until they separated.
Since then the chair had been empty.
“How was church?” he whispered as she sat down.
“Fun.” She smiled forward, and he turned his attention back to the meeting and to Mayor Dawson, eyebrows raised in question.
“Are you still with us, Chief?” Gloria Dawson smiled a little too big. “We were talking about thieves.”
“I’m investigating that problem, Mayor. I promise we’re not ignoring it.”
“Then we’ll move on. Hank Farris is here because he has a minor issue in his neighborhood. Doc, since you’re here, maybe we could talk about that ark of yours.” Mayor Dawson pointed the gavel in Lexi’s direction.
Colt shook his head. “With all due respect, Mayor, that isn’t on the agenda. We have more important things to discuss, like a grant to try and get another warning siren.”
“Chief, I’m not going to put up with farm animals in town just because your ex-wife is the one with the animals.” Hank stood up, his face shadowed with whiskers and his hands hitched in his bib overalls.
“Mr. Farris, you know that the animals are there temporarily. I’m finding homes for them.” She smiled, and Colt wondered how Hank couldn’t cave under that look of hers. And the crusty old guy did look like someone about to give in.
“I’m tired of the noise,” he grumbled before sitting down.
Colt stood up. “Hank, she’ll find homes for the farm animals by the end of the month. Does that work?”
“It works.”
“Good, then let’s get back to what is on the agenda. Storm sirens. I’d like to have two, if we could. There are people in town who don’t hear the one siren that we have.”
“Chief, I am aware of that complaint, and we’re going to do our best. We have a limited amount of money….”
“And we need to put the money we have toward a siren,” Colt insisted. “Mayor, I’m writing the grant but it might not be enough for two sirens. I’d like for the city to plan on putting some money toward this, as I believe it is a very important safety issue.”
“I agree,” one of the council members interjected. “I can hear that siren if I’m outside, but chances are, I’m not going to be outside waiting to hear the siren.”
The mayor pounded her gavel on the card table that they set up for meetings. “Fine, we’ll table this, and at the next meeting I’ll let you know what we have available, and you’ll have that grant written.”
Colt smiled. “Thank you, Mayor.”
“Good. So, let’s adjourn this meeting,” Henry Parker grumbled. “I’m about sick of hearing about overgrown lawns and too many pets.”
Colt waited for the meeting to be adjourned and then he stood up, motioning Lexi outside ahead of him. She pulled on her jacket as they walked and then pulled her hair loose from the collar.
He wanted to help, because there were still strands under the collar of her jacket. He pushed his hands into his pockets and followed her to her truck. And his mind took another turn, back to the cottages that afternoon and a scrap of material that might mean something. Or maybe wouldn’t.
It could be a lead, something that pointed in the direction of Kasey’s mother. He had it in a bag in his office, because he wasn’t ready to share it, not yet. He didn’t want to stir speculation or start rumors.
“Hey, for five minutes, could you listen to me?”
He looked up from the sidewalk and met blue eyes that were as familiar as the sky. He shrugged, unsure of what he’d done or what she wanted from him.
He was clueless. It was part of being a man, his mom had always told him. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe some men did get it, and weren’t clueless.
“I’m sorry?”
“I was asking you a question.” She pulled the key out of her purse and hit the remote to unlock the door of her truck.
“Sorry, I was thinking.”
“About?” she prodded, standing next to him, buttoning her jacket because the wind was brisk, and it smelled a lot as if it might rain.
“Kasey, Tommy’s dog, the ring and working on the Old Town Hall tomorrow. Plus, I need to go out and help my folks vaccinate some calves.” He shook his head. “And Walter’s house has a hole in the roof.”
“You’re always busy, Colt.”
“I know, Lex. I know.” Part of the wedge that had driven them apart, his preoccupation with work.
“I only want a few minutes of your time, a few minutes when I feel like you’re really listening to me.”
“I’m sorry.” And he really was.
“Don’t worry about it. But, Colt, someday, if someone comes into your life, give her your time. Don’t make her feel like she comes second to everything and everyone else.”
He closed his eyes for a brief second and this time when he whispered that he was sorry, it meant more than just the words that he had uttered too many times. He opened his eyes and she was watching him.
“I forgive you.” She touched his cheek, and he turned into the gesture, grazing the palm of her hands with a kiss.
Lexi’s heart ached as Colt’s lips touched her hand. She pulled back, crossing her arms in front of her and unsure of how
to escape what was happening.
“How about a cup of coffee?” He said it softly, tempting her.
“Coffee?” She glanced at her watch. “It’s nearly ten o’clock.”
“Decaf?”
“Tastes horrible. Do you have chamomile tea? I could use something that will help me sleep.”
“I actually do.”
What was she thinking? This would only hurt later. It felt a lot as if it might hurt now, and she wouldn’t even have to wait until later. But Colt’s eyes connected with hers and didn’t waver, and she was so tired of missing him. She was tired of listening to Glenn Barker as he tried to sell her on the benefit of whole life insurance, as well as a date with him.
Not that Glenn was a bad guy. But her heart couldn’t let go of a memory, or what had once been. Her heart still ached for the man standing in front of her, because she had never stopped loving him.
She had gotten tired of being left alone while everyone and everything else took top priority. How could she have children with a man that worked twenty-four-hour shifts and never turned off his cell phone?
She didn’t want that for her children, a childhood that mimicked her own. She wanted something different, a family that spent time together.
He hadn’t always been that way, putting his job first. Losing Gavin had done that to him. It had changed them both, because after Gavin’s death, Lexi had been afraid to let Colt leave for work.
Too bad she hadn’t discovered the peace that comes from having faith until after their divorce.
“It’s only a cup of tea, Lex,” he teased, and she thought he might reach for her hand. He didn’t.
A cup of tea, and maybe they could really talk. They hadn’t done much of that in the last year of their marriage. When she had tried, he had walked out, unable to hear that they were falling apart.
Or unwilling to fix it.
“A cup of tea.” She nodded in agreement. “I’ll follow you.”
She got into her truck and started it, still telling herself she should go home. She shouldn’t let herself fall back into this, into needing him this much.
Rekindled Hearts Page 7