He was just passing the patch of woods where he’d met Mothball when something caught his eye on the other side of the road. A wooden sign had been hastily nailed to a sharpened stick and hammered into the ground. Some words were painted on it in messy blue paint, the letters dripping like blood. He couldn’t tell what most of the sign said from his position, but two of the words stood out like a pair of leprechauns in a hamster cage.
Atticus Higginbottom
Chapter 14
Shoes and Mittens
Tick ran over to the sign, squinting his eyes through the swirling snow to read the smaller words underneath his name. His brow crinkled in confusion. He read the sign over again, almost expecting the words to change the second time. Just when he thought he was used to how bizarre his life had become, he received a message that seemed to make no sense.
Atticus Higginbottom
Meet me when night is a backwards dim
Don’t look for a her ’cause I am a him
The steps of your porch will do just fine
But don’t bring snakes, spiders, or swine
For you I have important news
In return I ask for children’s shoes
One more thing, or see me spittin’
Be sure to bring two nice soft mittens
If Tick had woken up that morning and guessed one thousand things a special sign made just for him might have said, a request for children’s shoes and mittens would not have made the list. Not knowing what else to do, and not real keen on anyone else seeing the sign, he yanked it up out of the ground and carried it home with him, trying to sort out the message. There didn’t really seem to be too many clues in the poem, just a request to meet on the steps of his porch.
Meet me when night is a backwards dim
Tick figured that one out almost instantly. “Dim” spelled backward was “mid,” which meant the stranger wanted him to be waiting on his porch at midnight-presumably tonight. The now familiar shiver of excitement tickled Tick’s spine as he looked at his watch and saw he still had almost seven hours to wait.
Bummer, he thought. It was going to be a long evening.
At dinner that night, Tick sat with his whole family eating meatloaf, the one thing in the universe his mom cooked that disgusted him like fried toenails. If given the choice, it would’ve been a tough decision between the two. He absolutely hated, despised, and loathed meatloaf. Yuck.
He forced down a bite or two, then did his best to smash the gray-green blobs of meat into a little ball so it looked like he’d eaten more than he really had. Kayla devoured hers, though she put just as much on the floor as she did in her mouth.
“What’s the latest at school?” Dad asked, reaching for the bowl of mashed potatoes.
“Not much. I’m doing okay.” Tick realized he’d let his mind get too occupied lately, spending less time with his family. He resolved to do better. They were, after all, just about the only friends he had in the world, besides Mr. Chu.
And Mothball, he thought. And Sofia. Maybe.
“Just okay?” Lisa said. “What? Did Einstein Junior get a bad grade or something?”
“Oh, please,” his mom said through a snicker as though the idea was the funniest thing that had ever been spoken aloud.
“Well… I did get a B on my last English test.”
Dead silence settled around the table like he’d just announced he was an alien and was about to have a baby because on Mars the men were the ones who got pregnant. Even Kayla had dropped her wad of meatloaf, staring at him with blank eyes.
“What?” Tick asked, knowing very well what the answer would be.
“Son,” his dad said, “you haven’t gotten a B on anything since I’ve known you. And I’ve known you since the day you were born.”
“Yeah,” Lisa agreed. “I think the world has stopped spinning.”
Tick shrugged, scooping up a mouthful of green beans. “Ah, it’s nothing. Maybe I had bad gas that day.”
Kayla laughed out loud, then yelled in a sing-songy voice, “Tick had tooty-buns! Tick had tooty-buns!”
That broke everyone up, and dinner continued like normal.
“Anything happen lately with your Pen Pal account?” Mom asked.
Tick almost choked on his potatoes, for a split second worried that somehow his mom had logged into his account and seen the e-mail from Sofia. But then he realized he was just being a worrywart, her question totally innocent. He’d been doing the Pen Pal thing for a couple of years, still having never really connected with anyone for more than a few letters here and there. No one had ever seemed interesting enough for him to want to stay in touch-or maybe it was the other way around.
“Not really. I got an e-mail from some girl in Italy, but she seems kind of psycho.”
“Psycho?” Dad asked. “Why, what did she say?”
“She called me an Americanese boy and asked me a million dumb questions.”
Mom tsked. “Last time I checked, not speaking English well and being curious did not make someone a psycho. Give her a chance. Maybe she likes chess.”
“Maybe she’s cute,” Lisa added. “You could marry her and join the mafia.”
“Sweetheart,” Dad said. “I don’t think everyone from Italy is in the mob.”
“Yeah, it’s probably only like half,” Tick said. He expected Lisa to laugh at his joke, but was disappointed to see she thought he’d been serious.
“Really?” she asked.
“It was a joke, sis.”
“Oh. Yeah, I knew that.”
“Well, anyway,” Dad said, moving on. “I think this weekend we should all go see a movie, go bowling or something. Who’s in?”
By habit, everyone around the table raised their hand. Kayla shrieked as she waved both arms in the air.
“All right, plan on it. Everyone meet right here at noon on Saturday.”
For some reason, right at that moment, the thought hit Tick that he should tell his dad about everything. Keeping the secret was eating away at his insides and now with nothing but silence from Sofia, the feeling was getting worse, not better. Just thinking about telling someone seemed to take a thirty-pound dumbbell off his shoulders.
Next time Mom’s out shopping, he thought. I’ll tell him. Maybe he can help me figure everything out. If he believes me.
Tick put his dishes away, then watched some ridiculous game show on TV with his family. The whole time, he thought of one thing and one thing only.
Midnight.
It was time for bed, but Tick wanted to check his e-mail one more time. He felt obsessed, checking it constantly in hopes that Sofia would finally write him back.
He sipped a cup of hot chocolate as he logged into the computer in the living room, almost spilling his drink when he saw Sofia’s name in the INBOX. He put his cup down and leaned forward, clicking on her e-mail.
Dear Tick,
Someone needs to teach you how to answer a stinking question. I asked you many and all you did was write back asking me more. If I lived in the USA, I would smack your head with a pogo stick. I am a good, smart Italian girl, and so I will actually answer your questions.
First, I have to tell you that I had a very hard week. Something is chasing me, and I’m very scared. I almost burned the letter five times. Well, not really. When a Pacini makes a decision, a Pacini never goes back. I made my choice, and I’ll stick to it like butter on a peanut, or whatever you crazy Americans say.
Anyway, I will now answer your questions.
I have four clues now. I got the last one last night. Maybe you did, too. It’s about dead people, which doesn’t sound good.
We should definitely help each other.
Saw the ghost thing, but not the rat thing. Don’t want to talk about it.
I’m twelve years old, almost thirteen.
I like your journal idea. I made one, too. Hope it’s okay to steal your name. Mine is called Sofia Pacini’s Journal of Curious Letters. I even used English to make it seem like
yours.
I joke a lot, and if we meet you will think I’m crazy. Last summer I beat up seventeen boys. Glad we can be friends.
Ciao (that’s Italiano, smart boy)
Sofia
He’d just finished reading the e-mail when his dad told him to log off and go up to bed. Grumbling, he obeyed, hating that he’d have to wait until tomorrow to write Sofia back. He thought about sneaking downstairs after his parents were asleep, but he knew Edgar “Light Sleeper” Higginbottom would catch him as soon as he heard the buzz of the computer fan. It was going to be hard enough to tiptoe through the house and open the door to the front porch at midnight without waking him.
He brushed his teeth and said good night to everyone, then got into bed, his lamp on for reading. He decided to take a break from the fantasy novel he had been reading and pulled out the book by Savage, flipping to Chapter One.
Twenty minutes later, he did the worst thing he could possibly do.
He fell asleep.
Chapter 15
Little Ball of Bread Dough
Tick snapped awake a half-hour after midnight. His alarm clock glowed with evil red numbers, as if they wanted to make sure he knew his mistake was unforgivable.
Jumping out of bed with a groan, he ran to his window and looked outside for any sign of the supposed visitor. He couldn’t see the entire porch from his angle, but the steps were visible in the bright moonlight that poked through a break in the clouds. No one was there, and Tick felt his heart sink.
I’m such an idiot!
Maybe he’d messed the whole thing up and lost the trust of M.G. He didn’t know who’d painted the sign, but he had no doubt it was related to the M.G. mystery, and he even suspected it was Mothball or maybe her friend Rutger. She’d said he might come visit him. Sofia mentioned in her e-mail that she’d received the fourth clue, but Tick hadn’t seen his yet. What if the midnight meeting was supposed to provide it?
Hardly able to stand the frustration and worry, Tick put on some warm clothes, determined to go outside and search for his visitor.
Stepping only on quiet spots in the house, avoiding the most obvious creaks and groans he knew from years of experience, he crept down the stairs and to the front door. After quietly slipping into his coat and boots, then wrapping his scarf tightly around his neck, he very carefully unlocked the deadbolt, then turned the handle. Knowing if he opened the door slowly, it would let out a creak that would wake the dead, he jerked it open in one quick motion, preventing almost any sound at all.
His heart pounding, he stepped out into the bitterly cold night, quietly shutting the door behind him.
After searching the whole yard and finding nothing, he sat on the front porch and put his head into his cupped hands, squeezing his eyes shut in anger at himself. How could he have been so stupid? He should never have lain down to read-everyone knew that was the number one way in the world to make yourself fall asleep. He blew out an exasperated sigh as he leaned back and folded his arms, looking up at the sky. Dark, churning clouds, their edges softly illuminated by the moon hiding behind them, seemed to move across the sky at an unnatural pace like something from a horror movie in fast forward.
Tick shivered, and he knew it wasn’t the cold alone that caused it.
He leaned forward to stand up when something hit him on his right temple, followed by the soft clatter of a rock tumbling down the steps. He looked just in time to see a pebble the size of a walnut come to a rest a few feet away.
Belatedly, he said, “Ow” as he looked around to discover where the rock had come from. Nothing stirred in the darkness, the only sound a slight breeze whispering through the leafless trees in the front yard and sighing over the snow-covered bushes lining the front of the house. He thought one bush may have moved more than the others, and he was just about to investigate when another rock hit him, this time in the right shoulder. Sure enough, the rock came from the suspected bush, the powdery layer of snow almost completely knocked off.
“Who’s over there?” he asked, surprised he didn’t feel more scared. “Quit throwing rocks like a baby and come out.”
The bush rustled again, then a small figure stepped out from behind the branches. It was impossible to make out details in the scant light, but the person looked like a little kid, maybe six or seven years old, bundled up in layers and layers of clothes. He or she resembled nothing so much as a big round ball with little bumps for arms and legs and a head.
“Who are you?” Tick asked, standing up and stepping closer. “Are you the one who left me the note on the sign?”
The little person walked toward him, waddling like an overweight duck. A shaft of moonlight broke through the clouds just as the visitor reached a spot a few feet in front of Tick, revealing in vivid detail what he’d thought was a child.
It was a man. A very short and very fat man.
He was dressed all in black-black sweat pants and sweatshirt, black tennis shoes, black coat, black hat pulled over his ears. Tick’s dad had once made a joke that sweat suits were made for people to exercise in, but the only people who seemed to wear them were fat people like himself.
Knowing all too well what it felt like to be made fun of, Tick always tried never to do it to anyone else. As the strange little round man walked up to him, Tick promised himself he would do his best to refrain from all known fat jokes.
“I’m large, okay?” the man said, though he barely came to Tick’s waist. His voice was normal with no accent or strange pitch. Tick didn’t know why that surprised him so much, but then he realized he’d been expecting the guy to sound like one of the Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz.
So much for not judging others on their looks.
The short man continued, “And I must be the dumbest fat guy you’ll ever meet, because I wore all black to camouflage myself in a place that is covered in snow. ”
Tick stared, with no idea how to respond.
“My name is Rutger,” the stranger said, holding a hand up toward Tick. “My hand might be the size of your big toe, but don’t be scared to shake it. Nice to meet you.”
Tick reached down and clasped Rutger’s hand, shaking it very gently.
“What’s that?” Rutger asked. “Feels like I’m grabbing a floppy fish. You think I’m made of porcelain or something? Shake my hand if you’re gonna shake my hand!”
Tick gripped harder and shook, completely amazed by this new person. He finally spoke back. “Sorry. I’m just a little surprised. I didn’t know…”
“What? That I’d look like a shrunken Sumo wrestler? Come on, let’s sit and talk awhile. This weight is killer on my tiny legs.” Rutger didn’t wait for a response, walking over to the porch steps and taking a seat on the bottom step. Even then, his feet barely touched the ground in front of him.
Tick smiled, finally feeling at ease, and joined Rutger on the steps. “So, you’re friends with Mothball, right?”
Rutger slapped his round belly. “You betcha I am! That tall stack of sticks is the best friend a man can have, even if she is three times my size. Well, up and down, anyway, if you know what I mean.” He raised his hand vertically, as if guessing the height of something. “Ah, Mothball’s a funny one if you get her going. Word to the wise though. Don’t ever ask her about the day she and her twin sis were born unless you have about seven days with nothing else to do but sit and listen.”
Tick grinned. “I’ll remember that. Why’d you throw those rocks at me?”
“Why were you late?”
“I… uh, good point. Slept in.”
Rutger looked at Tick intently, searching for something. “Looks like you forgot your assignment, too.”
“I did? What-” Then Tick remembered the poem and what it had asked for. He’d meant to scrounge around in the basement to find some old shoes and mittens. “Oh, never mind-you’re right, I forgot. Sorry.”
Rutger slapped Tick on the shoulder. “It’s okay, I can wait.”
“Huh? You mean…”
&n
bsp; “That’s right, big fella. Come back with what I asked for and maybe I’ll talk.”
Tick paused before responding, hopeful that Rutger would wink and say he’d only been kidding. “You’re… serious?”
Rutger leaned closer like a giant rubber ball rolling forward. “I’ve been to more places in the last two weeks than you’ve seen in your whole life, boy. My shoes are just about ready to call it a day and walk off my feet-no pun intended, though that was a pretty good one. And my hands-cold, young man, cold. ”
“You mean, the shoes and mittens are for you? ”
“Who else, boy? Do you think I’d be traipsing around the Realities with a little child stuck to my hip? Of course they’re for me!” His voice had risen considerably, and Tick worried his dad would hear.
“Don’t talk so loud. You’ll wake the whole neighborhood.”
Rutger answered in an exaggerated whisper. “You won’t hear another peep from me until I’m holding a nice new pair of shoes and a warm-as-muffins pair of mittens.” He nodded curtly and folded his arms.
Tick stood up. “I’ll go-but what did you mean when you said the Realities?”
“Oh, come on, boy. It’s all about the kyoopy-science, Chi’karda, Barrier Wands!”
Tick stared, wondering if anyone in history had ever answered a question as poorly as Rutger just had. “What are you talking about?”
Rutger put two fingers together and swiped them across his lips, the age-old sign for zipping one’s mouth shut.
“Fine,” Tick muttered. “Be back in a minute.”
He walked up the porch steps and opened the front door. Just before he stepped into the house, Tick heard Rutger say something creepy.
The Journal of Curious Letters 1r-1 Page 8