He brought his kiss back to her mouth, and she eagerly accepted him. She raised her legs up, bending her knees, and the folds of her skirt fell, revealing the soft, creamy skin of her thighs. He ran his hand along one, over her hip, realizing she was completely naked beneath the thin underdress. His cock strained to get at her. It would be so easy…
“We can’t.”
Even as he said it, he was preparing to kiss her again. He released her hands as fervor built between them. He tugged on the under covering she’d been wearing beneath her dress and still wore now. It took a moment to bare her breasts to his view, and in his near-blind lust, he tore the fabric. He’d spent so much time trying to convince himself that her breasts were abnormally large, but now he found them gorgeous, perfect, and an irresistible temptation.
“Good God.”
He stared. His breath shortened. He’d been wondering from first glance what she would look like without clothes, and here was part of that answer. He gently ran the backs of his knuckles over the soft, fleshy part. She shivered and sucked in a breath.
“You are stunning.”
Suddenly, half-clothed was not good enough for him, and he quickly went about stripping her naked. If he kept his own clothing on, they would be all right. That was the trick. He could accommodate her. He could bring her pleasure. He just had to keep himself from getting too participatory in that pleasure.
She lay absorbed in a pile of bedding, naked, her one hand across her stomach, the other playing with a strand of her own hair. He drew a breath and took in all of her from head to toe. Her creamy skin that had seemed like such an anomaly before now seemed perfect. She had tiny brown spots spattered over her skin that he wanted to trace with his finger. Her breasts were so round and full. The slight chill made her nipples hard and inviting. Her flat belly and the strange hole in the center he found particularly beguiling. He suddenly had erotic thoughts about placing his tongue in it.
He continued his lingering gaze to the place her legs came together. Another difference between her and the females he knew, she had hair growing there, slightly darker than the hair on her head that hid her from further exploration. He grew curious to know more. He ran his hand over her hip and down the outside of her leg, wanting to ask how Earth females mated because her anatomy was different enough that he was uncertain. Would she respond if he stroked her back as his race did? Would his tongue along the soft shell of her ear make her crazy with wanting him? He had so many questions, and in the flash of uncertainty that came along with them, reason spilled in and he sat away from her. His head in his hands, he tried to get a hold of his lust.
“Naveenah. We can’t. We can’t.”
He shuddered with unsatisfied arousal. She sat up behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. Her touch did nothing to calm him. Instead he roared, needing her so damn much, but he denied himself, and in the end, her as well.
She moved closer to him, laid her chin against his shoulder, and began to speak softly against his ear. “I don’t know your customs. I don’t know how sex is handled on your planet, but back home, sentimental unions have been outlawed. There is no contact between males and females anymore—not real ones anyway. Sexual contact is all virtual. None of it is real.”
This intrigued him as his brain tried to make sense of such things by relating it to how the Ohpan had worked on his planet.
“How did your species procreate?”
“Medical procedure.”
He grabbed a quilt and wrapped her in it, pulling her into his arms. Having her naked was too much. He couldn’t handle it, couldn’t listen to what she was saying when all he was thinking about was fucking and how amazing he knew they would be together.
“It’s so strange to explain life here on Vaturia. All I ever knew was the occupation and destruction that followed, but I’ve read everything I could on what our planet was like before. We were a rich culture of varied beliefs and customs, but while the Vraigor were here, sex, in particular, became very regulated. The men and females were kept separate for the most part and unless you were chosen to reproduce…”
“Chosen?”
“Yes, the Vraigor felt our planet had become so populated that females were chosen to become pregnant only enough so our race wouldn’t entirely die out. It was often believed they were simply replacing their slave force. The females were impregnated artificially, and after the child was incubated, they were taken to the nurseries to be raised until they were old enough to join the work force, usually around ten.”
“That’s horrible!”
Antares turned to see tears welling in her eyes. She truly was an excellent female. He loved her empathy and compassion for his people. He’d seen evidence of it all day and was very happy.
“I don’t understand. Is that how you were…”
“No. My father and mother were a part of the underground rebellion. We lived hidden from the Vraigor, so they knew not of my birth.”
“In our society on Earth, children are treated like gods. It’s sick, to be honest. People fear them because they are easily manipulated, and if they accuse you of something, you will be convicted of that crime, no questions asked, because it is the belief of our society that children would not lie about important things.”
Antares laughed hard remembering himself as a child. “Good God, female. Children can be the worst vermin scourge on a planet! You poor humans. You do not have a prayer with a society arranged that way.”
She half-smiled. “This from the man who’s all about procreating?”
He picked up her arm and kissed her wrist. “Anything allowed to grow untaught will be an animal. That was the downfall of our cities’ nurseries. The children were very well educated, but they were not allowed that sense of family. Being a part of people that had similar ideals, morals, learning the history of one’s origin should make you proud to be what you were created, but the Vraigor was systematically dismantling our society, and now it is rotting from its core and the last thing I will ever do, with our child or anyone else’s, is take it to be raised in a sterile environment. A society is only as strong as its next generation. Young can be a great joy, but can be the cruelest foe you’ll ever cross. Raising them is the key.”
He surprised himself how passionately he felt about a subject he hadn’t even thought about before. He sounded like his father, only when his father was warning him about other young, it had been Nikolai his father had meant.
“You are such a brave man. I could never do what you do.”
Her compliments set well on him, felt better than anything had in a long time.
“On Earth, even though we handle our young differently, they still grow up quite alone. Everyone is so involved in some pursuit of money or pleasure, and the children are placed on this huge pedestal, and many humans act like they aren’t worthy to raise their own young. Many don’t care. We have rampant drug problems, and if people aren’t medicating with a synthetic substance, it’s with something virtual. It seems people would rather spend time with something make-believe than something real.”
He kissed her forehead.
“What of you? What did you medicate with?”
She looked as if she was uncertain how to answer. He found himself desperate to be let in and wasn’t sure what he would do if she refused to tell him.
“I had…” Her cheeks pinked. Even in the candlelight, he saw it. “I’m mortified.”
She dropped her face against his chest. Antares laughed warmly, hugging her close. In one short day she had truly wormed her way deep inside his soul.
“Please tell me, sweet one.”
Her voice muffled against his chest as she answered, “I had a virtual lover.”
“A what?”
It wasn’t that he did not understand her, he just hadn’t expected…well, that.
“I know!”
She tried to wriggle from his arms, but he held her tightly.
“And did you couple with this virtual human?�
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“Sometimes.” She looked up at him, sad as he’d ever seen her. “Mostly I just curled up with him and talked, watched TV, that sort of thing.”
His mind caught on a word he did not know. “What is this TV?”
She looked at him as if he’d asked her to unravel one of life’s greatest mysteries. “I’ll explain it later.”
Thinking of her on Earth, with no one for companionship but a virtual male, made his heart ache.
“Were you so very lonely, magita?”
She shrugged. “When I was much younger I went through a rebellious stage after my dad died. I hung out with real boys then, which was forbidden, but I was so painfully shy, nothing ever came of it. Do you think society as a whole just gravitates toward such isolation? It seems your society was not so very different from ours in that sense.”
He saw a tear slip down her cheek, and that protective beast deep inside him stirred to life. He ran his fingers through her hair while he thought of his response. The people on his world had become quite isolated from what he read. Most social interaction was done through screens and transmitters. Perhaps she was right. He could not be certain, but he knew he did not want that for his reformed Vaturia.
“I’m not certain. But do you see now why I am so devout about the reformation? I will create a better homeworld for my people, no matter what.”
“Honestly, I’m starting to believe in you,” she said, looking up at him, “and your vision. But I have a request.”
“Anything.” He was not one to vow carte blanche, but she had moved him so, and he could only think of one request she could make of him that he would not grant. “As long as you are not asking to leave me.”
“Funny.” She looked at him curiously. “I had not even thought about leaving, not all day really.”
That information pleased him to no end, but she still had not made her request, so he restrained from comment, allowing her the space to ask of him what she wished.
“I want you to bring the other women to the hotel. Nikolai said he would have them housed and cared for, but I’m not sure you realize what an uphill battle you are facing with the reformation. You could use all the help you can get, and though I won’t make promises for them, I think I can get the other women to see you differently if I am allowed access to them.”
“Ah, magita, believe me, I know my battle. It exhausts me thinking of it sometimes.”
Antares considered sharing his heart with her, all his plans and dreams for his homeworld. The community he intended to build, how he would guard his crown, and the legacy he planned to leave behind someday. He wondered if she could really be trusted the way it seemed. There was so much he wanted to tell her, things he couldn’t tell anyone else, but if she did betray him… He cradled her close to him, wrapping her tightly in his arms.
“Does this mean you have forgiven me?
She had said the words earlier, but he had known then they were not truthful no matter how much she had intended them to be. He felt pain ricochet through his heart. By this point, his need for her forgiveness approached desperation, but in his soul, he knew he didn’t deserve it.
She pressed her palm against his cheek. It took everything in him not to ravish her in that moment. She drew a slow breath and closed her eyes. He needed her answer and held his breath as he sensed its coming.
“I won’t say that what you did was right.”
“I would not expect you to say that.”
She looked into his eyes. He held her stare, ready now for whatever would come, whether it be absolution or condemnation.
“You are not what I thought. You have made me see some of the burden on your shoulders, and I have seen the goodness in your soul. I can also get over myself enough to see that your kidnapping us was not about me, or my planet. It was a desperate act by a good man distracted by the suffering of his people. I can’t hate you for that. I can’t say I would have made the same decision you did, but that is solely because I do not have your courage.”
His breath tripped over her words as they worked from his ears to his conscience. She had called him brave. She had called his leading courageous. Her words were the gift of his life, but he stayed quiet as he sensed she was not finished.
She wriggled free of his hold and straddled his lap, raising up on her knees so she faced him head-on and placing both her hands against his cheeks.
“I forgive you, Antares. I will not hold anger or contempt for you one more day. I’m here, regardless of how it came about. I’m ready to embrace my life and whatever comes from this.”
A tear slipped from his left eye and ran down his cheek, startling him as he could not remember the last time anything had wrought such emotion from him. He remained still, afraid to move, or breathe lest he realize he’d imagined what she had said.
Not once in his life had he ever experienced this heavy feeling of acceptance, as if she saw every aspect of his character and embraced it anyway. His father had always acted like there was something about him that was unacceptable, but Antares had never been able to figure out what it could be. Every interaction of his life was conducted through the lens of knowing his inferior position. Naveenah didn’t see it—either that or she simply did not care.
He wanted to fall into her. With this female at his side, he suddenly realized his burden was lighter. The completion of his kingdom and the rise of his people seemed less of a gamble and far more certain. In that moment, he thought he would give her anything she asked right down to his very soul. “I will allow the other females to come. I should have done it long before now regardless.”
“Thank you.”
She looked up into his eyes, and he saw raw gratitude in them. He tried to remind himself that while, yes, he’d been very remiss in his responsibilities to the women he helped bring to his world, it hadn’t been out of a callous disregard. He hoped she knew that. It suddenly was very important to him that she did.
“I need you to know I’m doing the best I can to meet the needs of everyone.”
She caressed his cheek. “I do, but I think you are taking on too much of the responsibility…Then again, it’s really not my place to say.”
She moved away, sliding back down onto the bed and pulling her underdress back on. Antares’s interest was piqued, and there was no way he could leave that comment be.
“Why do you say this? I am the king. If not my responsibility, then whose?”
She cocked her head sideways thoughtfully and seemed to struggle to find her response. “It’s not that I’m saying you are not ultimately responsible. I mean, though there was no king where I came from, I am somewhat familiar with the deal, but it just seems to me that you are carrying too much of a burden. You feel like you have to be in charge of everything, yet isn’t the sign of a good leader someone who surrounds himself with good people and delegates?”
Stung by her criticism, he felt his anger flare. He stood off the bed, refusing to be challenged, despite the fact that he had asked for her opinion.
“You do not understand. This arrangement is in its infancy. I am never certain if I will even live through a day, let alone finish all I dream for Vaturia. The rebel forces would have me dead if they were to find luck in their favor, or some kid with dreams of grandeur, some secret council could decide to strip me of my authority and my life. My place as king will not be secure for many years. I trust next to no one at the moment. From what I’ve learned, the monarchy, before the Vraigor slaughtered them, were wicked and corrupt, but I believe in the system as a whole. The people have reason to distrust me, though. They have known nothing but slavery and dictators. They have seen before empty promises and cruel and unjust treatment by the very people who were meant to protect them, but I know I can do better. I know I can bring reform, build a new world that will stand proud and true in the galaxies, and I don’t want my legacy to be he who trusted the wrong person and got his throat slit!”
Furious now, he paced to one side of the room, then
the other.
“After one day you find yourself such an authority on me?”
She stood and came to him. She placed both her hands against his cheeks. Though he tried to shake them off, she wouldn’t allow it.
“Trust me. I will not slit your throat in your sleep or otherwise. I will always give you my honest opinion, and I won’t be afraid to tell you when you are making an ass of yourself, which you are very close to at this moment. Antares, the burden is too great. I can see it wearing on you already, and you need to withstand it for many years to come. I fear for you that you may burn out before anyone ever thinks of assassinating you. Let me help you.”
Her quiet, impassioned plea calmed him. He’d never met a female like her. She was truly remarkable, but despite all he was feeling where she was concerned, open trust did not come easy to him.
“You plan to leave in a year.”
She blushed. “A year is a long time. Who knows what is to come in it.”
A spark of hope ignited in his soul. He was certain he just heard her confess there was a chance she would not leave him. And if she stayed, perhaps the other humans would come to the same conclusion. Emotions he wasn’t used to feeling washed over him. It was more than caring or tenderness, but he was hard-pressed to name it. Still, it was a very welcome feeling indeed, and he had her to thank for it.
“You astound me. You have my deepest gratitude.”
She had given him much to think on, but for the rest of the night, he simply wanted to hold her. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, stopping before it became overheated.
“Lay with me, magita.”
He climbed back on the bedding and held his hand to her. She took it, and they both nestled down into the bedding, though Antares didn’t sleep. He held Naveenah in his arms and watched the sun rise out the small slit in the exterior wall and wondered if he had at long last found the female he could share his soul with.
To Love a King [The Reformation 1] (Siren Publishing PolyAmour) Page 11