Nikolai’s laughter wasn’t helping. She felt her cheeks burn hot with embarrassment as she continued to wriggle against him.
“Sienta, if you don’t stop that, I am going get hard again, and we both know where that leads.”
Naveenah froze solid. A part of her brain, however, was actually tempted to see if he was serious. She could go another round if he could.
God, who knew she had such a brazen inner core!
“Good, now listen to me.”
She shook her head in an attempt to push her attention back to Nikolai.
“You are wrong when you say I do not know you.” He brushed back her hair from her face. “I know a great deal about you. You are the female that not only survived your captivity, but became a leader to the females held with you. I saw their faces today when they saw you. They love and respect you. I’ve also had to bear listening to my brother sing your praises. If you have impressed him, it is because of your good heart and your open spirit. I’ve also heard murmurs from the staff. You treat people with dignity and respect, and they have seen it. Also, have we not had many, many a conversation in the aftermath of our passion? Did you think I was not listening? Now I will accept your apology after I tell you that I am not a six-foot-four cock.”
She gasped and her mouth fell open. “I never…”
He held up a hand to stop her. “Uh-uh-uh. You did! You implied that in all the time we have spent together all I have been interested in, or experienced from you, is a few mind-blowing orgasms. I resent that. Have we not shared our childhoods, our dreams, our pain?”
Her thoughts came to a violent halt. Was she really so shallow that most of what she had remembered of her time with Nikolai was the sex? They had spent a great deal of time exploring one another, both physically and emotionally. She guessed it was just that what she shared with Nikolai had mostly been memories and fantasies, and maybe that just didn’t have the same exciting element to it that sharing Antares’s passionate love for his planet and people did.
He tipped her chin up by placing his fingers gently beneath.
“Sienta, I did not want to make you feel bad. I only wanted to assure you, though this is the best sex I’ve ever had without doubt, I find you fascinating on a much deeper level than that alone.”
His words shamed her. Maybe her decision to think of her relationship with Nikolai as solely sexual was self-preservation. There could be no future for them, since she’d already agreed to give herself to Antares. Plus, where Antares spoke of children and the future, Nikolai spoke primarily of dreams that would never include her. He wanted to leave the planet, travel the galaxy, and she didn’t think she would ever find happiness in the confines of a spaceship. He was right, though. This thing between them was much deeper than just sex, but in the light of day, she also knew there was no way she could continue to see him in secret behind Antares’s back. That only left one option open to her, and she dreaded it.
Somehow she’d miraculously been presented with two exceptional men, each feeding a different part of her soul. She needed and wanted them both, but couldn’t see any way to accomplish that without having to sneak around and lie, and she knew she couldn’t do that any longer.
“I’ve never been in a situation like this before, Nikolai. I’m not handling it well, and to be honest, I think it’s about to get worse.”
She pushed his arms away, and this time he let her go. She rolled off him and began re-dressing. She knew what had to be done, but even just thinking it caused something deep inside her core to weep. How was it she could live her entire life not truly knowing even one man and now need two so damn badly? She didn’t want Nikolai to see the tears she felt coming. She still couldn’t face him. She didn’t want this…but it had to be.
“I’ve agreed to stay tonight with Antares. So I don’t think it’s right for me to be with you like this again. What we shared, sexually-based or not, it has to be over.”
Chapter Fifteen
“The hell you say!”
Nikolai wasn’t entirely certain of what was happening between them either, but it sure as hell wasn’t over. He stood and just barely stopped himself from grabbing her by the arm and forcing her to take it back. He made himself a promise not to use his powers over her. Whatever did occur between them, he wanted her to come to him freely, but the near panic she caused him by telling him it was over pushed his self-restraint to its limit.
He stood and gathered his clothing along with his patience. He said not a word as he got dressed, but the second he finished, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her body against his, knowing she was aroused again and wanting more, the same as he did.
“What happens between my brother and you concerns me not. But you will continue to come to my bed, sienta.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips and slowly traced the outline of her jaw with one finger. Forcing himself to sound far more assured than he felt, he reveled in the love-drunk look in her eyes when he pulled back. He wouldn’t give her any more than that. He needed her wanting him. He smiled and quipped, “You can’t help yourself.”
He turned and held the door open, gesturing across the threshold with one arm, not for one second missing the heated if-looks-could-kill gaze he was getting now.
“Ready for dinner?”
He adored everything about this female. He loved the long days they spent in one another’s arms. He loved playing with her and pleasuring her. He loved listening to her and figuring out the way her mind worked.
“No, I am not! You can’t just disregard my feelings!”
He even loved that quick-to-fire temper of hers. She walked over and pushed the door out of his hand, closing it again. The combustion in her eyes was sexy even though he knew she didn’t mean it that way.
“And what of your brother? Did you even hear what I said? I’m going to sleep with him tonight! That doesn’t in some way bother you?”
It wasn’t that he was insensitive to his brother, but the way he saw it, by the end of the year, she would have either given Antares his much-needed savior or she wouldn’t. Either way, he was leaving the planet and he was pretty damn sure he’d be able to talk Naveenah into going with him.
“Sienta, you cannot tell me that you would so easily be able to simply drop all we’ve shared. That you wouldn’t miss falling asleep in my arms. That you wouldn’t ache for my touch if you never felt it again.” He pulled her close in his arms. “Tell me, sienta, tell me how you would miss my touch.”
His mouth lay across hers. It was like silk—warm and wet and willing—exactly the way he liked her.
“Sienta, you cannot stop what is between us. It is like a force of nature.” He pulled her tighter into his arms, this time hoping to comfort her. “I do understand the position you are in, but trust me when I tell you my brother will not be hurt or offended if he finds out about us.”
He pulled back his head to look down at her and make sure she heard what he was saying.
“He is interested in saving the race. We no longer have the technology available to artificially inseminate you, so you will need to couple with him, but it won’t mean anything to him. He isn’t pining away for you. He isn’t looking for lifelong fidelity. He needs an heir. He needs to prove that we can continue the race.” He caressed her cheek. “You can give him what he needs without denying us.”
The fact she was so concerned about Antares’s feelings actually made her all the more amazing in his mind. He didn’t think now was the time to tell her the plans he was making for them, but he so hoped she’d agree to them when he did share.
As she pulled away from him, the concern and confusion etched in the lines of her face made his own heart ache.
“So, you are saying if I went to your brother’s bed tonight, but first said, by the way, your brother has fucked me every way under the sun and then some…he wouldn’t mind this?”
Nikolai grew warm thinking of all the ways he had made love to Naveenah. All the things they had done to one another.
Perhaps he did not want his brother knowing all that after all. Not because he felt Antares would by any way be put off by it, more just because it was something special between them he didn’t want shared.
“Perhaps you would not need to go into such detail.”
“Look, I understand what you’re saying. I do. It’s just I don’t think it’s in my makeup to be dishonest. I mean, you are talking about sneaking around behind your brother’s back, and that’s wrong. It just is, and I don’t think I can do it. Before, I did not know if anything would happen between Antares and myself, so you and I… but as I have agreed, that just seems to change everything. I’m sorry, Nikolai. As much as I feel for you, as much as I crave your touch, I can’t continue this relationship past tonight. I just can’t.”
The ache in his heart magnified tenfold. He saw in her eyes how serious she was. How could he possibly force her to do something she was clearly so morally opposed to? What she felt, what she needed, he realized, was far more important to him than what he wanted. He struggled to gain breath and equilibrium at the thought of what he was about to do.
“All right, Naveenah. I see your point. I will step away.”
He drew a deep breath as he saw tears fill her eyes. When one slipped down her cheek, he caught it. When the tears started to fall steadily, he wrapped her in his arms and held her while she cried and couldn’t believe he wouldn’t be able to do this for the rest of his life.
* * * *
Naveenah wasn’t looking forward to the evening any longer. Nikolai was across the room, giving her the space she said she wanted. Rosalind was sitting on a small settee meditating. Violet and Beatrix still seemed angry from before, and every time she tried to speak to either one, they stepped away from her without a word. For the grand finale, Antares seemed to be a no-show.
All the way around, a real winner of a night was in progress.
She moved around the room, taking in the things that Antares had chosen to surround himself with. There wasn’t much really—a bookcase that only had six books, a low bench, candles, and the dinner table in the middle of the room. It was a low plank set on two cylindrical pieces of tree bark, and for chairs, there were a multitude of pillows. The table was lined down the center with candles, but there was, as of yet, no food.
She looked up to see Nikolai staring at her like she was dinner. Maybe she’d been too fast to push him away. Maybe he was right and Antares wouldn’t mind if she was having a relationship with his brother. Maybe she’d shot herself in the foot by overthinking the whole damn thing and should have just spoken to Antares first and asked him how he felt about the situation.
She started to cross the room, not sure what she would say to him, but only got a few steps toward him anyway before Antares finally made his grand appearance.
“I apologize. We had some trouble, but all is well now, and I am ready for a good dinner. How about you all?”
Nikolai came to full alert then. “Trouble?”
She wished she wasn’t being kept in the dark so much. Moments like this, where there was clearly something going on she was not privy to and that might be vitally important, drove her bat-shit crazy.
“It is nothing, brother.”
An uneasy foreboding settled on the room. She noticed beads of sweat lined Antares’s forehead, and he looked unusually pale. Antares seemed to pick up on her concern because he looked at her immediately and smiled as if all was right with the world, but instinctively she knew everything was not as all right as he claimed. He came over and kissed her cheek.
“I truly am sorry about keeping you all waiting.”
He ushered her to the table and gave her the spot to his right. Nikolai took the other end, Violet and Beatrix sat beside one another looking like they were plotting something, which she not only didn’t have time to figure out but made her very nervous, and Rosalind took the only spot left, the one beside Naveenah on her right. Drinks were poured, and soon several platters of food were brought in, but all her attention was on Antares.
“All is well, Naveenah.” Antares squeezed her hand in a gesture she was certain was supposed to make her feel better, but it did not. A man she had never seen before came in and gave a royal blessing to the food and left, and then three men with various stringed instruments came in and played softly in the corner.
“Please, everyone, help yourself.” Antares winced slightly when he spoke. “I appreciate you all agreeing to be here.”
When Naveenah was able to force herself to calm down enough to look at the table before them, she was struck by the absurdity of the spread of food laid out before them. Grapes no bigger than peas; a very small serving of some type of meat; carrots, served whole, no two were the same size; and flatbread that to her eye looked overcooked. It was not the type of fare one would ever expect to be served at a king’s table, and that was, in fact, where they were. She gathered Antares was still not having much luck with farming and slid a glance to Nikolai, because whenever they were together, he managed to bring her the most satisfying of meals. It was peculiar indeed and something she intended to get to the bottom of.
“How do we refer to you?” Rosalind asked Antares with sincere curiosity, reminding Naveenah she was not alone in the room.
“For this intimate a gathering, Antares is fine though it is customary in a public setting to only refer to the king with one of the royal greetings—Your Majesty or Your Royal Highness, though Lord works in some settings.”
Naveenah looked to see how Violet and Beatrix had taken that, wondering if it had sounded as supercilious to their ears as it had to hers. They both continued to look sullen.
“I’m Rosalind. I’m fascinated to know about the man who prayed before. I find religion and spirituality enthralling. What religion, or mythology, do your people believe in, Antares?”
Naveenah smiled to herself. Rosalind was a truly enlightened soul. She knew if any of the girls would be able to see Antares as a flawed man, rather than simply a cruel one, Rosalind would be the one.
“I’m afraid our faith is about as scattered as everything else on our planet now. The legend speaks of us as a once-rich culture of religion and arts, but then I believe our technology got in the way, making it too easy for a person not to think. When we stop thinking, imagining and dreaming, our society dies. I truly believe that this happened here, leading to our downfall.”
“Yes, let’s not give any credit for our societies fall to the Vraigor, brother.”
All four females’ heads swiveled to the other end of the table.
“The Vraigor was an outside influence that we had very little control over. I’ve been spending much time in looking at our downfall prior to the occupation. I believe our planet will only be a strong, viable society in the future, if we learn from our history.”
Beatrix nodded with a pensive expression. “Earth had many dark times in its history, but it usually rebounds stronger, so you may be right.”
Naveenah thought Beatrix very generous in her statement and hoped maybe things had turned a corner.
“Actually, I have been doing a great deal of study on your planet over the last month.” Antares locked gazes with Naveenah for a moment before turning his attention to Beatrix. “I have found your people’s history fascinating and not entirely unlike our own. I think it was more than physical compatibility our scientists based the suitability of the females of Earth for mating. I think, if you gave us a chance, you would see we are not entirely dissimilar.”
“That may be, but perhaps had you come to us and made that speech before you took us, this would be an entirely different dinner party this evening.” Beatrix’s gaze burned so hot with contempt that even Naveenah felt scorched by it.
Antares stood. Thinking he intended to leave, Naveenah felt her heart sink. When the strain on his face betrayed his effort to rein himself in, her sadness turned to concern. She reached for him, hoping to grab his attention before things got out of control.
“Antares, Beatr
ix can sometimes be…”
“Don’t you dare explain me to him!”
Rosalind and Violet spoke at once, Violet agreeing with Beatrix, and Rosalind trying to defuse the situation as usual. Naveenah looked first to Antares standing and then to Nikolai, who was sitting back on a pile of pillows, sipping nectar from a chalice, looking like he was rather enjoying the enmity being tossed about.
“Silence!” Antares’s voice boomed through the room quieting everyone instantly. “I realize that you were taken, possibly from your beds as you slept, or from your family homes, or God forbid, from your children. The decision to take females, from both Earth and Cassaria, was a hot button here on my planet, wildly and passionately debated for many months.” Antares took a breath and shook his head as if to clear it. “There were very strong arguments made from both sides, but in the end, the decision was mine, and I will be entirely truthful when I say, I am ashamed of how little thought I gave that decision. My planet was at war with itself. People I loved were dying. The scientists were talking about starting a process that, with reconnaissance, was supposed to take years. I assumed I would have time to revisit the issue after the civil war had ended and my people were at peace.”
Naveenah was growing more and more concerned for Antares. Something was desperately wrong, and she intended to find out what.
“I never meant any of you any harm. I was young, naïve, but I only had the best interest of my people at heart. I wanted to build a new society, a reformed Vaturia Splendor—one that would stand the test of time and be a legacy I could leave to my ancestors.”
He wobbled slightly, then caught himself. He licked his lips and wiped sweat from his brow.
“I only want a good life for my people. I see you all as my people. I am just as concerned about your life as I am my own, but this planet needs revitalizing, and right now, you four females are my only hope that there will even be a next generation. I mean you no harm, no ill will. I only ask you not judge me based on one vile mistake made in my zealous youth, but that you would open your imagination to what life here could be for all of you. A…” He leaned sideways a moment. “A utopia for a new generation.” He drew a deep breath as Naveenah’s concern grew to fright. “A reformation that will shine brightly to the rest of the universe as a better way of life. I only ask…”
To Love a King [The Reformation 1] (Siren Publishing PolyAmour) Page 15