Still, maybe he understood how limited his options were.
She knew one thing for certain. Those children were hers. If he refused to recognize it, he would be in for the fight of his life.
Chapter Seven
Cade opened his eyes Sunday morning to the sound of rain dripping off the eaves. A damp-smelling breeze ruffled the rumpled curtain at the open window. He stared at the dingy, water-stained ceiling. Thunder and lightning had kept him awake most of the night, and the heavy downpour had left a puddle in the middle of the warped pine floor. Late summer rains. They helped the crops but did little for thoughts of the upcoming winter.
Cade stretched full length, recoiling as his feet encountered soggy bed linens. The old jail roof was leaky as a sieve. Poking a foot out from under the sheet, he closed his eyes. If he’d wanted this kind of misery, he would have slept outside. He put off getting up and lay listening to the sounds of the awakening town.
The church bell rang in the distance, calling morning worshippers. The smell of frying bacon and fresh coffee drifted to him. He inhaled, smiling when he heard the unmistakably shrill voice of Hattie Thompson shouting to Woodall that he was going to be late for church. No doubt, Woodall was dallying as he finished his morning ritual.
Funny how everything had changed, but nothing was different.
For no reason at all, a childhood incident popped into Cade’s mind—the time he and Addy had sneaked some of Pa’s communion wine. Pa would have skinned them alive if he’d known how his children had gotten tipsy in the barn loft that day. He grinned. Zoe had refused to be a party to the nonsense. She’d stayed sober and covered for them, telling his folks they were sick from eating too much sweet potato pie at dinner and had gone to bed early.
He sobered. They had paid dearly for that trick. His temples still throbbed thinking about the miserable thumping headache he’d had the next day.
Zoe blackmailed him, making him answer to her for a full week. He’d rolled out of bed before dawn in the biting January cold and waded through snow up to his hips to gather eggs and muck out her daddy’s barn.
Cade shifted his hip on the thin mattress. It hadn’t been so bad, though. Zoe had brought him cinnamon rolls fresh from the oven and steaming cups of black coffee. They’d sat in the warmth of the barn stalls, surrounded by dry hay and milking pails, and talked for hours. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t tell her in those days. They knew everything there was to know about each other.
“Addy,” he whispered, “why would you pick me, of all people, to decide your kids’ future?”
Rolling out of bed, he sat on the edge of the bunk and scratched his head. He still smelled like a lily from all the soap and shampoo Walt had used on him Friday night. He shook his head, trying to dilute the scent of Edna’s fancy bar soap. He didn’t know what she made it with, but the flowery scent stuck to him like a burr.
He got up and dressed, strapping his gun belt around his waist. Sidestepping the rain puddle, he moved to the battered washstand and poured water from a chipped pitcher into a bowl.
He lathered his face with soap, and then he reached for his straight razor. Cade couldn’t believe he was shaving again. Twice in one week. He never thought about it when he was on the trail, but because of Red and the kids, he now had to worry about his appearance. His hand froze when an almost imperceptible sound caught his attention.
He slowly moved the razor to his left hand, letting his right slide to his gun. He stared back at his reflection in the mirror and shifted slightly so he could see each kid.
Four small children stood there, staring at him as if he were the bogeyman.
Cade’s tension subsided, and his hand casually dropped from the holster. Setting down the razor and picking up the soap mug, he whipped up a rich lather, pretending to be oblivious to his early morning visitors.
Brody stood straight as an oak, twisting his hat in his hands. Red jelly rimmed Will’s upper lip, and he held a biscuit in his hand. Holly’s and Missy’s wide eyes sized him up.
He found the intense scrutiny amusing. Should he break the ice and let them know he saw them, or just allow them to satisfy their curiosity?
Carefully drawing the razor over his lathered cheek, he talked to his image in the mirror. “Well, Cade, your sister sure has left you a passel of fine-looking children.”
Will quickly covered his mouth to stifle a giggle. Brody elbowed him sharply. Holly’s face turned as red as a hot poker. Missy buried her face in her sister’s side.
Tapping the razor on the rim of the bowl, Cade continued talking to himself. “A man would be right proud to have kids like that.”
He bent closer to the mirror to shave under his nose and then down his left cheek. “I’d like nothing better than to stay here in Winterborn and be their pa, but I can’t. I travel from town to town and never know where I’ll lay my head at night. Good kids like that need roots. They need a ma and a pa who can fry chicken, bake biscuits, and tuck them into bed at night.”
Sloshing the razor through the water, he paused. “Pop says the Brightons would love to have them. Don’t know much about Seth Brighton, but I heard he’s a fine pa to his own kids. Seems to me he’d make a fine pa for Addy’s kids.”
He frowned when he saw Holly’s bottom lip jut out like a sore thumb. Brody didn’t look any too happy about the prospect, either. The looks on Will’s and Missy’s faces pulled at his heartstrings.
Drawing the razor back through the water, Cade said, “I hear Seth’s got a fine bunch of ponies at his place. I could talk to him and see if the boys could have a horse of their own.”
Brody’s and Will’s faces momentarily brightened.
“And Bonnie raises those cats. Hear she’s got a new litter that’s cute as buttons.”
Holly and Missy expressions turned vaguely interested.
“Yes.” Cade finished shaving and laid the razor aside. He studied the children’s reactions in the mirror. “All and all, I’d say the Brightons would make a fine ma and pa for Addy’s kids.”
Four chins lifted with open hostility. Reaching for Missy’s hand, Holly nodded to Brody, who in turn grabbed Will by the collar, and they marched out as soundlessly as they had arrived.
Cade dried his face on a rough towel, glancing toward the empty doorway. Something close to loneliness came over him. He hadn’t experienced the feeling often. He wasn’t accustomed to needing anyone. His horse and the open road were his family, yet it was as if Addy spoke through Holly’s eyes, a silent reminder that he wasn’t getting any younger.
A man his age should have namesakes of his own. He needed a reason to come home at night. He should certainly have more than one horse. He should have several, plus more cats than old Bossy could provide milk for.
But the kids needed more than ponies and cats. They needed love. He could give them love; what he couldn’t give them was permanence.
He’d ride out and talk to the Brightons, see if they had enough love and permanence to go around.
His choice seemed easy enough. So why wasn’t it?
Chapter Eight
Zoe glanced up from her bookkeeping Monday morning to see Cade standing on the back porch. She ignored her quickening pulse. She blamed the strong coffee in front of her for her sudden heart palpitations.
Peering through the screen, she frowned. Early morning was the only time she could work on the store’s ledgers without interruption. What was he doing here before seven? His smile caught her breath, and she hurriedly turned back to the ledger. Numbers danced before her eyes, and she couldn’t remember what five times seven was.
“The children aren’t up yet,” she said.
“Good. I came to talk to you.”
Wonderful. A shoot-out at daybreak—just what she needed. Laying her pencil aside, she got up and unlatched the screen door. Sunrise glistened off early morning dew, scattering diamond patterns across the grass. Honeysuckle trailing up the building’s back wall perfumed the tiny kitchen.
When Cade entered the room, the limited space got even smaller. His presence seemed to fill every corner as he pulled off his hat and looked around.
Glancing toward Will’s and Brody’s pallets, he whispered, “Looks like a houseful.”
Zoe knew he’d expect a cup of coffee, but she’d had to scrape the can this morning to make her own. There’d be no more coffee for her this month. She sat back down at the table. “You wanted to talk to me?”
Hooking his hat over the chair back, he took the seat opposite her. “Yes. About the Brightons.”
She totaled a column. “Bonnie and Seth?”
“What kind of people are they?”
“Good people. You remember Seth’s folks, Frank and Helen?”
“I remember the old man being strict. He was quick to take his kids behind the woodshed and use a hickory switch on them.”
Her pencil paused in midair as she thought about it. “I don’t know that Frank’s like that now. He seems to be a reasonable man, and his children are all responsible, hardworking adults.”
“Do you think Bonnie and Seth would make a good home for Addy’s kids?”
Zoe sipped her coffee, facing him over the rim of the cup. “Yes, but I don’t think that’s the best place for them.”
He glanced toward the stove. “Any more of that coffee?”
“No. This is the last of it.”
“The last of it?” He shifted slightly in his chair. “Don’t you own a general store?”
“I do, but I have to pay for my coffee like everybody else.”
He reached across the table and took her cup. Their hands touched, and she jerked back as if she’d encountered a hot stove. He flashed a disarming grin as he took a long sip. When he handed the cup back to her, she deliberately wiped the rim where his lips had been.
He chuckled. “Afraid of me, Red?”
She got up and took her cup to the sink. Wild horses couldn’t make her put her mouth where his had been. She wasn’t playing games with him. He was trying to evoke memories that were better left alone. “When have I ever been afraid of you?”
“If you’re not, the kids are.” He turned the ledger she was working on and scanned the long rows of figures. “So far they haven’t said a word to me. They can talk, can’t they?” He moved back when she returned to the table and snapped the book shut in his face.
She stuck the ledger into a drawer. “The children are intimidated at the moment. They’ll eventually warm to you.”
“I don’t have time. How do I get them to open up to me now?”
“Give them a few days.” An edge of impatience crept into her voice. “You surely have a few days, don’t you?”
“Very few. They did come over and watch me shave yesterday morning.”
Zoe opened her mouth and then quickly shut it. It had been the wee hours of the morning when she’d finished Mrs. Penscott’s ironing and then fell into bed. She mentally groaned when she recalled having slept later than usual and let the children fend for themselves. They had gone out early and come back wide eyed, chattering about their uncle’s strange behavior and how they had missed Sunday school and weren’t happy about it.
“They didn’t know I saw them,” Cade added. “I got the feeling that if I’d turned around and said ‘boo’ they’d still be running.”
She picked up the whistling tea kettle and poured hot water into the dishpan. “They thought you were a bit strange, talking to yourself about the Brightons and their supposed ponies and litters of kittens. That’s deceitful. We don’t mislead the children.”
“I didn’t lie to them. Pop told me Seth and Bonnie have a good-sized farm and chances are they have cats and horses. Seth’s made his wishes known.”
“He has, but that doesn’t mean Addy would want Seth to have them.”
His features sober. “Exactly where does Addy want them?”
She scrubbed a pot, bracing herself. “They’d be better off with me.”
“With you?”
The skepticism on his face assured her he’d never even considered the option. Before her confidence wavered, she went on. “Apparently you’ve decided not to keep them.”
“I can’t keep them, and I can’t believe you’d want them.”
She turned to confront him. “And why not?”
“You don’t have a husband. If Seth and Bonnie take them, they’ll have both a mother and a father.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she resented her fragile emotions. Fighting the tight knot in her throat, Zoe struggled to keep her feelings in check. He knew how to get under her skin, but she wouldn’t let him. There was too much at stake to let him intimidate her.
“No one could love those children more than I do. I was there the day each one was born. I helped deliver Missy and Will. They’re like my own. I’m the one who nursed Addy until her last breath, and believe me, Cade, I would never have sent for you if it wasn’t your sister’s dying wish. Next to you, I’m the closest thing to family the children have, other than John’s Aunt Laticia. I won’t let you give them away!” She heard her voice choke with emotion. He’d gotten to her again. How dare he sit there and calmly discuss Addy’s children as if they were nothing more than strangers in need of a roof over their heads.
“Won’t let me? Aren’t you forgetting that I’m their uncle and I can do what I think is best?”
The tone of his voice forced her to meet his defiant gaze. “You don’t know them, not one thing about them. How could you? You never once bothered to come home and meet them. Do you think the presents you sent at Christmas made up for your absence? I don’t know what Addy was thinking when she put her children’s welfare in your hands—a man who doesn’t care whose feelings he steps on. A ruthless killer.”
He didn’t waver. “I’m all they’ve got right now. And I’ll decide who raises them.”
She swiped her nose with a hanky. “You had better make the right choice.”
“Look, Red, I’m not trying to hurt you…”
“Of course not. I don’t have a price on my head. Why would you waste time on me?” Her eyes held his, refusing to break contact.
Brody and Will stirred on their pallets. The last thing she wanted was to involve the children in their quarrel. Lowering her voice, she whispered, “Addy’s dead, and her children need a home—a home I can give them, a home I want to give them. Please don’t take them away from me, Cade. There’s no reason to uproot them from everything they’ve known. Let them stay here with me. I can raise them as well as Seth and Bonnie can.”
Arms crossed, she stepped to the window, watching a sparrow flit in and out, building a nest under the kitchen eaves. At the moment, she envied the bird. The only problem it faced was today. She had years of loneliness ahead of her if Cade took the children or, worse yet, gave them to the Brightons. If that were to happen, she would be relegated to being a doting “aunt,” bringing gifts at appropriate occasions but never really sharing in their lives.
When she turned to face him, she saw his anger, as well as…disgust and pity? Please, God, not pity. Not from him.
“I’m not saying you wouldn’t love them,” he said, “but look around you. How can you raise four children? You’re practically walking on kids.”
Zoe cringed as he sized up the room, his gaze lingering on the old, worn-out furnishings. She bit her lower lip, aware of her faded dress and obvious lack of means. If he were to guess just how badly off she was financially, he would never let her have the children.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said, “that I wouldn’t be able to afford them—but things are picking up. As soon as I get the new shipment of yard goods, I’ll make a tidy profit.”
“Money isn’t the only consideration. I can provide you with all the money you’ll ever need.”
Rinsing a dish, she said softly, “I don’t want your money.”
“Too dirty for your taste, Red? I wasn’t offering you my money. I was talking about the kids. Whoever has them,
I’ll see that they’re taken care of financially. But I want them to have a mother and a father. That’s what Addy would want.”
“So if I had a husband, you’d let me keep them?”
“Do you have someone in mind?”
“No. Merely asking.”
“You surely wouldn’t marry someone in order to keep the kids. You wouldn’t take a vow to God and not keep it?”
“You don’t know me at all, Cade Kolby. Any vow I would take I would keep. There are plenty of men who would welcome a ready-made family.”
“Name two.”
“Perry Drake and Ronald Fell.”
“Drake? The banker?”
“Yes. He’s a wonderful man.”
“Who’s Fell?”
“A man—a very nice man who bought a farm east of town a few years back.”
Cade leaned back in his chair. “Funny. Addy never mentioned Ronald Fell. Maybe I’ll bump into him while I’m here.”
“You won’t. He’s…back East on business.” Actually, she’d never met Mr. Fell. Perry mentioned that the bank held the mortgage on the Fell farm. For all she knew, Ronald was married or too old to care, and as far as Perry was concerned, he’d taken her to the Saturday night dance a couple of times, but that was all.
Straightening the sugar bowl, Cade cleared his throat. “I know you mean well, Red, but if Addy wanted you to have the children, she wouldn’t have involved me.”
She jammed a skillet into the dishpan. “Oh, yes, I forgot who I’m dealing with. Cade Kolby, Prince of Uncles—Prince of Lovers—Prince of—”
He slammed both hands on the table and got up. The warning in his eyes said she’d made her point.
Brody stirred on his pallet, opening one eye. When he spotted Cade, he quickly shut it.
A Kiss for Cade Page 5