by M. A Casey
“In the lounge,” he shouted back. I went downstairs to find him sprawled on the lounge watching TV.
“I think I might have found where Dad went.” I sat in the chair next to him.
He muted the TV wanting to hear about what I had found, so I went on to tell him the whole story.
“Well, it makes sense I guess, except why Kings Valley? What, or who is there?” He asked.
“I was hoping you would know,” I said sounding a little disappointed.
“He'll be okay Hayl’s, and when he gets home, I will make sure we know what all this about,” he said sounding determined.
It was only about half an hour later when my mother arrived. She knocked at the door, and Emin got up to let her in. I flicked off the TV and only waited until she was just in my eyesight before I flew a question at her.
“What’s going on?” I demanded.
“Good to see you too Hayln,” she replied.
“I mean it Mum, I know something is happening, and I want to know now!” I shouted at her.
“Ease up Hayln, she just got here, and it isn’t her fault. Give her a chance okay,” Emin said trying to calm me down.
He was right, although I didn’t want to admit it – this wasn’t her fault. I got up from my chair and thought I had better start again.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” I asked kindly.
“That would be lovely,” she said.
I went to the kitchen to make us all a cup. She looked the same as always her hair thick bronze hair pulled back into a low ponytail and a controlled expression on her face that seemed to make her look older that what she actually is. Once I returned to the lounge room I had calmed down, but I decided not to ask any questions. I knew Emin would do that for me as long as I behaved.
“So Mum, what did Dad say to you when he called?” Emin asked.
“Did he tell you both he called me?” She sounded surprised.
“No, Hayln overheard him talking to someone but didn’t know who it was at the time, but we figured it was you after we read the note and then you said you were coming over,” he confirmed.
“Yes, well it is a little strange for me to visit here isn’t it, and even stranger to be sitting here having a cup of tea,” she commented calmly as she looked around the room that I knew would be full of memories for her. I wondered to myself which ones she would remember. Would it be just the bad ones, or did she also remember how things used to be.
“What did he say?” I said, wanting to get back to the important stuff.
“He called and said he was leaving that night, that Emin and Zeke would be here with you, but he wanted me to check on you today to make sure you were okay,” she said sounding somewhat bored.
“Why wouldn’t she be okay though, unless there is more to the story than you are telling us?” Emin said, asking the exact question which was on my mind too.
“He knew she would worry that’s all. He had to leave to see a friend urgently and didn’t have time to explain. I said he should have told you earlier, but he said it was too late – I guessed he had to leave straight away.” She said sounding sincere but there had to me more – I could just feel it.
“Who’s in Kings Valley then?” I shot back at her.
“Kings Valley?” She questioned, “How do you know he is in Kings Valley?”
“Hayln found some flight times in the study and the flights went to Kings Valley, does he know anyone there?” Emin asked
“We used to, Able Crowson lives there, you know your father’s old partner?” She said sounding a little upset.
“So that’s who the old friend must be who he ran into at the university. But why would he be upset to see him? Did they leave on unfavorable terms?” I asked desperately trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together.
“You could say that,” my mother said coldly. “They haven’t spoken since, as far as I know.”
“So why would he leave without saying goodbye or telling us what was happening, especially when it is someone he isn’t really friends with anymore?” I said possibly a little more confused than before.
“He wouldn’t have gone for him Hayln, he would have gone for you – always for you,” she said glaring at me, her expression hard.
This shocked me. What did she mean for me? Emin looked confused too.
“What are you talking about Mum?” He questioned, “What does this have to do with Hayln?”
“Nothing probably. Look, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just leave it, your father will have to explain this to you both when he returns. He should have done it years ago,” she sounded frustrated.
“Don’t stop know,” I said not able to contain my frustration any longer. “If you have something to say – say it,” I taunted.
No one said anything for a moment and then something dawned on me.
“This has something to do with why you got a divorce doesn’t it?” I was shouting now. “Maybe even the reason why you dislike me so much?” I said pushing her, I could see in her face I was hitting a nerve.
“Hayln, what are you saying? What are both of you saying?” Emin was upset too.
“I’m right Emin look at her – she blames me, she always has.” I felt like twelve years of confusion and pain were all coming together at this moment.
“Hayln, don’t,” he pleaded.
“No Emin, your sister is right, I have always blamed her. I probably shouldn’t have, but I did. One thing I do know is that this is entirely your fathers mess to clean up, and I am NOT talking about it anymore until he gets home – do you both understand,” she said.
I heard the tone in her voice and knew I wouldn’t be able to change her mind so I got up and started walking towards the front door.
“Well I’m leaving – I’ll be back later when my father is home,” and I left without looking at either of them again.
I practically ran to the bus stop, and I was there just in time for the number 22 bus to arrive. It was the best one to take me to Tyler’s house. Right now that’s who I needed to be with. I needed my best friend, someone who would be on my side, to see my point of view, and I knew he would understand. He always did.
I often came home after visits from my mother’s, upset with the way she treated me and our lack of a relationship, and he was always the first person I would call. He had never met her, and I don’t think it would have mattered if he did. All he cared about was how it affected me.
It was quite a long trip to Tyler’s house so I had plenty of time to try and understand what had just happened at home. But all I honestly came away with was that my mother admitted that she did blame me for our family being ripped apart, and for my father’s sudden disappearance. But how? I have no idea what his trip is about and I was only five when she left, so how is this my fault?
Once I got off the bus I only had a few blocks to walk to Tyler’s. He lives with his Aunt, only she isn’t his Aunt. She took him in as a foster child, years ago after his mother died because he had no other family. He said he didn’t feel right calling her Mum so he calls her Aunt Maive. She is a strange lady, even Tyler will admit that. She rarely shows him any kind of love or affection, but takes considerable care with raising him in other ways. Always encouraging his schooling, ensuring he has all he needs at home or at University - everything but love – something we found out early in our friendship we are both lacking from our mothers.
I knocked on the door, and Aunt Maive answered.
“Hi Aunt Maive, is Tyler home?” I smiled at her because she seemed a little put out.
“Yes Hayln, he’s studying, but I will go get him.” She sounded annoyed.
Now I understood, she was particularly strict about his studies, always wanting him to apply himself more. She didn’t invite me in so I waited out the front.
“Hey Hayln, this is a nice surprise, come in,” Tyler said with a beaming smile.
“Hi Tyler, I’m glad you’re home” I said as we walked to his bedroom where he was
studying. I watched Aunt Maive sit back down in the dining room doing a crossword.
“Where else would I be? I have to do my four hours compulsory study you know,” he said sarcastically. He closed the door and said, “Okay, what’s up Hayln?”
“I’m that easy to read am I?” I said as I sat on his bed and he came to sit next to me.
“I know you pretty well Hayln – now spill,” he said ready to listen to whatever I had to say, so I just let it flow out of me.
Everything from Dad’s reaction in his office on Friday, the phone call and note, and my mother’s admission that she blames me for everything. By the time I'd finished, I could feel the tears building in my eyes, and when Tyler put his arm around me, I lost it altogether and broke down.
It took me a while to stop sobbing, and I had just started to when there was a knock on the door. It was Aunt Maive.
“What’s wrong Aunt Maive?” Tyler said standing up in the doorway so she couldn’t come in.
“Um nothing – I um…. just needed your help with a crossword question.” She said trying to look around him, obviously she was trying to see what was happening in his room.
“Well, what is it?” He said sounding frustrated.
“Oh um, a mystical horse creature, seven spaces?”
“Unicorn,” he answered quickly and closed the door looking a little embarrassed and annoyed at the interruption.
“Sorry about that, she is such a sticky beak, are you okay now?” He said as he sat back down beside me.
“Yes fine and I’m sorry I lost it. I guess it had been building up for a while,” I said. I truly felt a lot better.
“Well it’s understandable with what you have been through,” he said. “So what now, just wait for your Dad to come home I suppose?
“I don’t have any other choice, my mother won’t tell me anything else and besides, I think I would rather hear this from Dad anyway.” I concluded.
“And to think I thought you came over to tell me what an amazing time you had the other night,” he said.
I laughed, “I did have a good time, really.” I assured him.
“Me too,” he said smiling as he reached out to hold my hand. “So you got home okay then, with Zeke I mean, because he seemed kind of serious or something.”
His hand felt warm and comfortable against mine, but I could tell from his eyes he was waiting for my answer.
“Um… yeah you could say that I guess.” I stumbled on my words, I'd completely forgotten about this situation. I thought about how best to handle it, and decided to go with the truth. If he asked me, which he did.
“What’s that meant to mean?” He asked immediately.
“Well…… he kissed me on the way home,” I said looking at my feet now.
“He what?” He yelled. “Ezekiel Banner kissed you? How did that happen?”
“I don’t know?” I said honestly. “I definitely didn’t expect it.”
“So what does that mean? Are you two dating or something?” He asked still upset but still holding my hand.
“No, we're not dating, and it doesn’t mean anything, yet,” I explained.
“But you’re thinking about it?” He persisted.
“Well, he was genuinely sincere. But look, I have no idea seriously, and with all this stuff with Dad it’s the last thing on my mind,” I said honestly.
“You know Hayln, he does have a bit of a reputation, with girls I mean. You saw him when he was at school, he was always flirting with heaps of girls – I think you should be careful,” he said, he had calmed down a bit but was still upset.
Up until now I had kept these thoughts to the back of my mind. Of course, I knew Zeke had a reputation with girls, I suppose I just wanted to believe he was telling me the truth. And he still could be, but Tyler was right to be cautious, although I know he has different reasons for not wanting me to be with Zeke.
“I know, and I will be careful. But like I said, I'm not deciding anything right now. Okay?” I tried to reassure him.
“Well, before you do make any decisions, I would like to give you another option to consider,” he said as his other hand brushed my cheek.
“I'm sorry I didn’t realize earlier Tyler. I'm not very adept at this stuff,” I said honestly.
“Yeah I noticed,” he said as he played with my hand. “When did you figure it out?”
“I guess when we were dancing. That’s when I felt a difference, what about you?” I asked.
“Well, the last month or so I suppose. I mean you've always been important to me, apart from Aunt Maive you’re the only other family I’ve known. But I have been trying to make a move for the last week or so – without much success,” he said a little embarrassed.
“I don’t know about that. You were doing okay until Zeke got there,” I said trying to make him feel better, but not sure if I was succeeding.
“Well, we know why he wanted to take you home now,” he grumbled. I didn’t say anything. “So back to what you were saying before,” he said sounding much more persuasive. “Do you think we could pick up where we left off?”
I still didn’t say anything, and he soon picked up on my nerves so he continued.
“I mean, it is only fair. You’ve kissed him, and when it's time to decide, it would be better to be - fully informed. Don’t you think?”
I turned to look into his warm brown eyes and saw my best friend, but I also saw an honest desire to be with me, someone who would protect me no matter what, and most importantly someone who understood me unconditionally. So I closed my eyes and leaned towards him. It was different to kissing Zeke but still enjoyable. There was no wash of heat or electricity when I kissed him, but I felt safe and comfortable. After a few moments, he put his hands on my face and traced them down my neck sending a shiver down my spine and I laughed a little.
“Did I do something wrong?” He sounded concerned.
“No, it just tickled,” I said still smiling. “But I do think you’ve given me enough to think about for one day.”
“Do you have to go right now?” He said a little disappointed.
“I should probably be getting back, I want to be there when Dad gets home,” I said not wanting to hurt his feelings.
“Well I am glad you came over,” he said helping me up from the bed. “I guess I will see you in the morning at school.”
“Yeah, I can meet you early if you like, to let you know what happens,” I said.
“Sounds good,” he said as he opened the door for me.
“Bye Aunt Maive,” I shouted
“Goodbye Hayln,” she responded.
“See you tomorrow then.” He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, just like he did on Saturday night.
“Okay,” I said a little embarrassed knowing Aunt Maive could probably see us from where she was sitting. I left and walked back to the bus stop to make my way home.
All I did was think about my life on the trip home, my father, and my mother, Emin, Zeke and Tyler. Could my life get any more confusing than it is at the moment? I didn’t think so, but then again I have no idea what my father will tell me when he gets home.
I checked my mobile to see if there was any word about Dad, but there wasn’t so I knew he mustn’t have arrived home yet, Emin would have called if he had. When I turned into our street I saw my mother's car still parked out the front, which really wasn’t a surprise, I knew she wanted to be here when he got home. It just felt strange knowing she was in our house, she made it a point never to come here – too many unpleasant memories I suppose.
I also noticed Emin’s van had returned which means Zeke is back, this made me a little nervous after what had just happened with Tyler so I decided to go straight to my room. I walked inside, and Emin confirmed, “No word yet Hayl’s.” So I continued up to my room and closed the door. All I wanted now was my Dad.
Honest
I looked at the clock for about the hundredth time, it was just after six – where is he, I think to myself. I
hear my stomach rumble and decide that I better get something to eat, it might even distract me for a while, and I have always liked to cook.
When I got downstairs I didn’t go into the lounge room; instead I took the long way around to the kitchen and was pleased to find it empty. I searched through the fridge, there wasn’t much to choose from, but I thought I should be able to make a decent stir fry with what I had. I prepared all the meat and vegetables taking extra care in cutting every piece – wanting to waste more time I suppose. I prepared enough for Dad, surely he wouldn’t be too much longer. Everything sizzled in the wok as it cooked but no-one came into the kitchen to talk to me which I was happy about – there’s not much to say until we talk to Dad. When everything was cooked, I dished out two plates, and put Dad’s in the oven and sat down to eat mine. Probably childish I know, but I wasn’t in a mood to make any effort with my mother.
I heard Zeke say something about getting some dinner and then they all came into the kitchen, Zeke smiling carefully at me. They each grabbed a plate and helped themselves to the stir fry and sat down at the table. We were nearly finished our meals when Zeke spoke broke the silence.
“This is really good Hayl’s, better than a restaurant even.”
I was glad Zeke was still here I am not sure what would happen if the rest of us were left alone with each other.
“Not like that would stop you from eating it anyway, you eat like a horse Zeke,” Emin joked trying to lighten the mood.
“Zeke’s right though Emin,” my mother said kindly. “This is really delicious Hayln, I had no idea you could cook so well.”
How could you, I think to myself, she’s made no attempt to get to know me in years.
“You should have tasted the pasta she cooked the other night,” Zeke added trying to sing my praises to my mother. He wasn’t to know it wouldn’t make any difference, our relationship is pretty much broken forever.
“Thanks,” I said quietly. “I am glad you like it.” I took my plate to the sink and started to clean up.
“We can do that Hayl’s,” Emin said quickly. “I mean you cooked, and everything, so it's only fair.”