by Casey Dawes
He felt sick as he watched his brother being stuffed into the car. He wanted to pummel someone, longed for a demanding jerk to give him an excuse. If he’d known where Wilson lived, he would’ve burned the place down. Even if it wouldn’t solve anything.
But he couldn’t draw focus to himself. They might arrest him, too—for aiding a fugitive.
Someone had to stay in the sunlight to fight for justice.
“Was that Juan they took away?” Alicia had caught up to him.
“Sí.”
“I’m so sorry.” She put her hand on his arm.
“That’s why this cause is so important.” His voice broke with anguish. “So no one has to be deported ever again.”
She was silent but still touched him.
He pulled away from her. “If you can’t see that, I can’t see a future for us at all.”
“I …”
He shook his head. “Leave me alone. I have things to do.”
His chest felt like it was going to split in two, but he still walked away from the one person he’d hoped to love.
• • •
Alicia’s mother and grandmother had gone to Saturday evening Mass, leaving her free to attend church at her normal service—the same time as Raúl. They’d taken to sitting next to each other, in silent communion with each other, God, and all the saints.
Would he show? Maybe with the peace of the Lord surrounding them, they could find their way back to each other.
No one had told her a relationship could be so hard.
The space beside her stayed empty as she knelt to give thanks and pray for help with the worries on her mind—Luis, her grandmother, Juan, and a second chance to help Raúl understand her point of view.
She stood when the procession began. A rustling beside her gave her hope, but it turned out to be an elderly couple she’d seen before.
Through the entire Mass, the questions turned over and over in her mind. Where was Raúl? Had anything happened? Was he sick?
At the end of the service the elderly couple took their time, spiking the thump of her heart in her chest. Using a phone in holy space was rude, but she was tempted. As soon as she cleared the priestly line, she changed her footsteps from the shuffling gait she’d been using to avoid stepping on the old woman’s heels to a stride that ate up pavement.
“Where’s my son?” Eduardo’s voice was angry when he grabbed her arm.
“Ow! Damn it! Let me go!”
“Ooh, swearing in the churchyard,” Graciela said with her customary smirk. “God’ll get you.”
“Let me go or I’ll scream.” Alicia leveled her tone, then filled her lungs with air.
Eduardo released her but didn’t move away. “I’ve seen a lawyer. He’s taken my DNA.”
Fear clutched her heart, but she steadied herself. Her car was in a distant part of the lot. Should she head toward it or back to the groups of parishioners hanging near the open doors? She released a little of the air she was holding and took a step backward. “So?”
He took a step forward. “The lawyer’s going to court. He’ll force you to test my son. Then I’ll take him from you.”
“They don’t give children to bandas. You don’t have a job. You’re single.” She pointed her finger at Graciela. “And you’ll never take Luis.”
“We’re getting married, puta. Eduardo has a job in a garage—he’s a mechanic. We’ll be better parents than you could ever be. I’ll tell the judge how you spread your legs for everyone—like rich doctors harboring illegal brothers. You won’t stand a chance.”
The tension of her fight with Raúl, Juan’s arrest, and her grandmother’s illness broke free, and she launched herself at Graciela. “Cerda!” Her fingers tangled in Graciela’s hair, and she yanked.
Graciela howled and slapped Alicia’s face.
Strong hands gripped Alicia’s arms and pulled her back, still clutching some of her rival’s hair.
“You’ll never take my son! You’d destroy him! Rut and make your own baby. You won’t get mine!” Every gutter word she’d learned in her brief time with the gangs started to spew from her mouth. She twisted away from Eduardo, his hands leaving more finger marks on top of the bruises already there.
Pounding footsteps echoed behind them.
“What’s going on here?” one of the priests asked.
“She started it.” Graciela flung an arm at Alicia.
“Alicia?” the priest asked.
“They’re threatening to take my child away.” She didn’t take her eyes off the other woman.
“That’s a matter for the courts, not for fighting in the churchyard. You will stop this now.” He scrutinized Graciela and Eduardo. “I know you.” He nodded at Graciela. “Are you from this parish?” he asked Eduardo.
“Los Banos,” Eduardo said.
“I see. Will you be here for a while?”
“As long as it takes to get my son.”
In spite of the warmth of the sun, the fog’s damp tendrils brushed Alicia’s shoulders.
“Then I’ll expect to see you next week. Perhaps at a different service?” The priest’s expression expected compliance.
“I’ll think about it.”
“I would think well, my son. Leave the matter to the courts, not the fists. Where’s your car, Alicia?”
“Over there.”
“I’ll walk you there.”
The priest was silent while they walked.
Her fear and anger subsided; shame emerged. “I’m sorry.”
“If you need help, please come see me. Your grandmother has been a loyal member of this parish since before I started. It’s good to see she’s recovered from her problem. I believe she said you’ve been seeing Dr. Mendez. I didn’t see him here today.”
“I’m not sure where he is. We’re not together anymore.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Unusual for him to miss Mass.”
“Sí.” She got into her car.
“Vaya con Dios,” the priest said.
“Sí.”
Much as she longed to go to her retreat on the top of the mountain and have a very serious discussion with God about His failings, she turned right, threaded through town, and headed toward Raúl’s condo, praying to the same imperfect deity that he still cared enough to be her friend.
• • •
Raúl was on the phone when he opened the door for her. “I don’t care what they have on him. You have to get him released. If he’s forced back to Mexico, they’ll kill him.”
He stepped back so she could get past him into the condo.
One hurdle passed.
“Good. I’ll wait for your call.” Raúl stuffed his phone back in his pocket.
“Have you heard from Juan?” she asked.
”No.”
She shifted on her feet, unsure what she was even doing here. How could she talk about her problems when his brother’s life was on the line?
“What happened?” He touched her hair. “I hate to ever tell a woman this, but you look like you’ve been through a tornado.”
She put her hand to her head. Why hadn’t she straightened up before she came to see him?
“I … um … got into a fight with Graciela … uh … after church.”
His grin was slow to start. “I hope you won.”
“The priest pulled us apart.”
His smile reached its full width. “I’m sorry I missed that.” He chuckled, tickling her funny bone.
They must have made a sight.
Her laugh grew louder.
So did his.
Within moments, hysteria had taken over. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the events of the past few weeks were released into the air.
As their glee diminished, he pulled her close. “I told you. Laughter should be prescribed for everyone.” He kissed the top of her head. “Gracias. I needed that.” He held her for a few more moments, his heart beating strongly against her chest.
The heat from his body warmed he
r; like a fire-suppressed forest, the flame burned hot. She was alive and with the man she cared about. They could learn to work past their differences, couldn’t they?
She leaned into him and explored the planes of his back, her touch drifting from his shoulders to the narrow of his waist.
He moaned and took her mouth. She returned the kiss, her hunger matching his. Tasting. Touching. Yearning for more.
Madre Dios. It had been too long since she’d felt like this. She’d been a mother so long, she’d forgotten how to be a woman, to excite a man. Every cell in her body tingled with joy.
Their relationship couldn’t be over.
With another groan, he pulled back. “I need to stop before I go too far.”
Would she have stopped if he hadn’t? Or would she have made the same mistake she’d made with Eduardo—thinking a man’s passion was more than a physical reaction?
Her shoulders slumped.
He lifted her chin with his thumb. “It’s not because I don’t want you. Damn, Alicia, I can’t remember when I’ve needed a woman so much.”
“Then why not?” Her boldness surprised her.
He led her to the couch. “We have things to work out. I’m not backing down on my stance about Joe Wilson’s law. It’s too important to me.” He took her hand. “We don’t have to agree on everything, but I want you to understand.”
Could she?
“I’ll have to think about it. Understanding works both ways, you know.”
His expression lost some of its eagerness, but he didn’t let go of her hand. “Can you stay for lunch? We can talk more.”
Hope reappeared. “Let me call my mother to tell her I’ll be late.”
He nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.
“No problem, Alicia,” her mother said when she told her what was going on. “Luis is having a good day.”
Something in her mother’s voice seemed off. “What’s up?”
“We got the mail from yesterday. So much was going on we forgot.”
“And?”
“There’s something from the courts here. Addressed to you.”
“Can you open it?”
Tension constricted her veins as she listened to the crinkle of paper in the background.
“It’s an order for a DNA test for Luis.”
Eduardo was actually going through with it. Fear gripped her lungs and stripped away any air she had left. She forced a breath anyway.
No matter what it took, she would fight for Luis’s safety with every cell she possessed.
Chapter 21
“What’s wrong?” Raúl asked when Alicia walked into the condo’s small kitchen.
“They’ve gone to court.”
“Who?”
“Eduardo and Graciela.”
“He’s still here? And Graciela’s taking his side?”
“Sí.”
“We’ve got to do something about that girl. Besides getting into fights, that is.” He gave her a slight smile.
“I’m worried. They want a DNA test from Luis. Who knows what the courts will decide?”
“We’ll get through this, cariño. I will stand by your side, no matter what our differences. Together, we will defeat them.” He gave her a quick hug. “I will do whatever it takes to protect you and Luis.” He rummaged through the refrigerator and pulled out some jars and plastic tubs. “Up for fajitas?”
“Sí. Can I help?”
“There’s not much to do, but yes, help.” He handed her a cutting board and some peppers.
It was good to work with her hands and do something constructive. She thrust the point of the sharp knife into a green pepper, releasing its musky odor. With quick movements, she de-ribbed the pepper and sliced thin crescents.
The sharp smell from the onion Raúl was working on stung her eyes, and she wiped them with the back of her hand.
Realization swept her body. If their lives together could be like this—supporting each other when times were tough, enjoying the little things in life, like making a meal, she would be happy.
It didn’t hurt that he was smart and a good-looking man. And if the way he kissed her was any example of what he was like as a lover, she’d be very satisfied.
Surely they could get beyond the issues that divided them.
Pans clattered. “Can you put out the cheese, sour cream, and guacamole? Any good at heating tortillas?”
“Of course.” As she retrieved the fixings from the refrigerator, she thought about the best way to approach the subject. “How was the response from the picnic? Did you get a lot of people to join your cause?”
“Lots of enthusiasm. We’ll see if that turns into people doing things.”
“I take it that it doesn’t always work that way.”
“No.”
She put a low flame under the tortilla pan while she tried to think of the next thing to say.
“We’re going to be putting together more flyers to pass around town, explaining our position.”
“Oh?”
“Yes.” He deftly stirred the sizzling onion and peppers in the frying pan. “There’s iced tea in the refrigerator.”
She found the pitcher and put it on the table, along with glasses and eating utensils. The easy calm they’d had when she’d been here previously was missing.
How did people do this relationship stuff?
Once they sat at the table, grace was automatic for both of them, but the ritual was followed by more silence.
“Look,” Raúl finally said. “I don’t expect you to get all gung-ho about this. You’ve already made your position clear. But I’d like to think you’d support me.”
“I did. I put up your flyers for the potluck.”
“But when we were there, you sabotaged me by making nice with Joe Wilson.”
“You learned something because I did that. What are you going to do with that information?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t you think you should at least find out if the story is true?”
“Of course I’m going to do that.” He flung down his napkin. “What kind of a man do you think I am?”
This was not going the way she’d hoped.
“I know you’re a caring man, Raúl. You’ve proved it time and time again with Luis.”
“But …”
“But I think you have a blind spot. Everything is colored by what happened to you.”
“Of course it is. Just like everything you do is colored by getting pregnant at sixteen.” He ran his hand through his hair.
She didn’t have an answer for that. He was right, of course. After sliding meat and vegetables onto a tortilla, she added sour cream and guacamole. Anything to delay what she knew she had to say next.
“Alicia, do we really have to talk about this right now? Can’t we just have a pleasant lunch? I’d really like that.”
Part of her wanted to push her point, but maybe that was part of having a relationship, knowing when to speak and when to shut up.
“I’d like that, too.”
• • •
“Something has to be done,” Raúl told Hadiya. “Graciela and Alicia got into a big fight over the weekend.”
The subtle arch of the pencil-thin eyebrow gave him a clue to her reaction. “A physical fight?” She tapped her finger on her office desk. “Are you sure she’s the right one for you?”
“We’re just dating.”
At least I hope we are. He still wasn’t sure if their disagreement over immigration was going to permanently derail them. Still …
He clenched his fists. “There must be some way. Graciela is involved with Alicia’s ex, and they’re suing for custody of her son. In fact, Alicia’s asked me to help her get the DNA swab done. The lawyer said I shouldn’t do it here because of my relationship with Alicia, but she wants my help. She doesn’t think he’s going to react well to something stuck in his mouth.”
“Probably not.” Hadiya shuffled through the papers on her desk, as if
seeking the solution to their problem. “I know you wrote Graciela up a few times. This thing about her fighting bothers me. We’re a local family practice. We don’t want women afraid to come here. I’ll see what I can do.”
After they discussed a few more office details, he left, satisfied that the wheels were in motion to keep Alicia safe.
• • •
The day of the DNA test was bright and clear, a hint of summer’s end in the air. Raúl drove the short distance to Alicia’s house, glad that he could help her, but unsure of what would happen next.
“Nothing can go forward until you get the test, and it’s the easiest way to prove Eduardo’s responsibility,” the lawyer they’d found had told them. “Then we can go after him for neglecting his child in the beginning.”
The lawyer seemed confident they could deflect the custody claims. She wasn’t as sure about visitation rights.
Should he ask Alicia to marry him before they went to court? It would make her look more settled.
She’d probably turn him down. Alicia wasn’t into pretense. Only the real deal would do.
He sighed as he got out of the car. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he wasn’t going to let that pandillero have Alicia’s son, no matter what it took.
“How are you doing, little man?” he asked Luis when he picked him up from his playpen.
“It’s one of his good days, although it probably won’t be for long,” Alicia said as she hefted the bag with the child’s supplies.
How could one small human being need so much?
“God will not let that man take my great-grandson,” Abuela said from her easy chair. “I have prayed every day since this happened, and He will not let me down.”
Simple faith.
“How are you feeling?” Raúl asked.
“Good. I will be here for many long years yet—time enough to dance at your wedding.”
“Grandmother!” Alicia exclaimed.
“Do you think because I am old I cannot see?” Abuela smiled. “I wasn’t sure in the beginning, but now I believe that you were meant for each other.”
If only he had the old woman’s confidence that things would work out.
She leaned forward. “You’d better treat her well.”
“Sí.” He wouldn’t dare otherwise. Glancing at Alicia, he saw her stifling a laugh, and his face relaxed into a grin.