by Ainsley Shay
“Yeah, it’s me.”
I closed my eyes and covered my mouth to hold back the sobs of relief. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Why haven’t you called?”
“There’re a million reasons, and I’m so sorry for all of them. But, please believe me, they were all necessary. I would never intentionally cause you worry.”
“When are you coming home?”
“Soon. I’m almost done here—”
“Skelside?”
“Yes.”
“Is he dead?” My voice dropped and I hoped he heard me.
He hesitated for a long moment on the other end of the line before he replied, “No.” I wanted to ask him a million other questions, and tell him about the journal and Adelina, but there was no time. “Can you put Chandler on the phone for a minute?”
“Yeah, don’t hang up though, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Here, he wants to talk to you.”
Chandler took the phone and said, “Hey.”
Even as I strained, I still couldn’t hear what Blacwin said, and I doubted Chandler would tell me what they were talking about. Chandler listened for the duration, and then finally said, “She’s fine. There’s been no sign of Carina or Adelina.” I bit my lip, locking away my untold secret. He listened for a few more beats and ended by saying, “Yeah, no problem,” and handed me the phone.
“Hi,” I said.
“Baby, listen to me.” By the tone of his voice, I knew he was getting ready to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. But, my attention was one hundred percent his. “You’re safe as long as Chandler’s there.”
I wanted to protest and shout I’d be safe if you were here! “I know.” Now was not the time to argue.
“I have to go. I’ll call again when I can.”
I hated the sound of that. It could be another ten days or more before I heard from him. “Blacwin.”
“Yeah?”
“I miss you.”
“Me, too, baby. Me, too.”
The line went dead. Hearing his voice and knowing he was so far away was almost as painful as not hearing it at all. I turned to Chandler. “What did he tell you?”
He got up and went into the kitchen. “Nothing you need to be concerned about.”
“Did he tell you when he’s coming home?”
“No.” When he wanted to be, Chandler was like a vault. Secret upon secret, he kept locked away, until he was, if ever, ready to tell you. I guessed I was no different. Pans banged against one another. “Do you want some eggs?”
“I’m not hungry.” I needed to do something or I’d stay glued to the couch all day while my thoughts held me in my own miserable prison. “I’m going to get ready for school.” Barely enough energy to pry myself up, I had no idea how I was going to make it through a full day of classes. But, I had to try. At least it would keep my mind occupied, hopefully. When I stood, my legs felt like I hadn’t walked on them in weeks. Before closing the door to the bathroom, I asked Chandler, “What time is it at Skelside?”
He looked at his watch. “Almost noon.”
I wasn’t sure what made me ask my next question, or why it mattered. But, when it popped into my head, I realized I needed to know the answer. My words were shaky, like I was stepping into territory that was heavily guarded. “Have you ever been back?”
Slowly, he turned around from the fridge and let his head fall to his chest. He set down the carton of eggs and rested his hands on the counter. He seemed to be contemplating whether he should tell me. I hadn’t seen it as a big deal. But then again, I didn’t know how much he had suffered there. I knew from my own nightmares, Skelside was a God forsaken place. Chandler lifted his head and stared at me for a long moment before he said anything. I wasn’t sure he would answer me at all. “Once.”
I wanted to know why he went back, but his face looked so pained, so I remained quiet. He kept his voice steady when he asked, “Do you want to know why?” I thought I did, until I saw the despair in his eyes. I nodded, not sure if I really wanted to know, after all. Once said, there would be no way to make it unsaid. “I went back to see if you were still alive.” His gaze fell to the floor. A harsh laugh escaped his mouth. Chills raced up my spine anticipating what he was about to say. “I had hoped, prayed even, Darenfys would make you like us.” His voice dropped as he continued. “At least I would have found you alive.”
The apartment closed in around me. “I don’t know what to say.” Blacwin and Chandler never spoke about their time at Skelside. I wasn’t sure if it was for my benefit, but now I knew, it was for theirs and mine. To think Blacwin went back there for me, I had to imagine it was just as difficult for him as it had been for Chandler.
“There’s nothing to say.” He took out two eggs. “As much as I hated to leave you there, I had to try to find Adelina. The first time I left, it was easy to get away from them, the second time—nearly impossible. But, I knew I couldn’t stay there. It was another four months before I found my chance. And, I vowed never to go back again.”
I couldn’t blame him. Skelside was not a place I ever wanted to go back. My nightmares were unbearable enough; but he had been raised there. “I’m sorry.”
“All of that’s behind us. And, once Blacwin kills the bastard, we’ll all be free from this shit.”
“That’s if Adelina keeps her distance.” I wanted to read more of her journal. If there was something useful in that book, I needed to find it. The firm belief I was not letting go of was—she was the key to everything.
“And Carina,” he added.
The muscles in my stomach tightened with the guilt that loomed over me. There was never going to be a good time to tell Chandler about Carina. He would be furious with me. When I looked at him, his eyes were ablaze with curiosity. He sensed something. I looked away before he could say anything, and closed the bathroom door. I’d be free from his scrutiny for the next fifteen minutes while I took a shower. Maybe by the time I finished, he’d forget. Doubtful.
When I peeked out of the bathroom, I saw Chandler sitting on the couch playing on his phone. He looked up briefly, and then looked back to the glowing screen. A puff of steam trailed behind me as I left the bathroom and went to my room.
“What are your plans after school today?” Chandler grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter. His stony face, along with his cranky attitude, had become a daily occurrence when it came to the discussion of my two measly hours he’d surrendered.
Me, the ever-loving sister who thrived, at times, on irritating him, replied, “I don’t think it’s any of your business.” I strolled around him into the kitchen, and made myself a cup of tea.
“You’re infuriating.”
“I know the feeling.” I took a mug out of the cupboard and set it on the counter. “Would you like some?”
“No. Thank. You.”
I turned to him and put my hand on my hip. An idea struck me that might just work in both our favors. “If you tell me what Blacwin said, I’ll tell you what I’m doing.”
Chandler walked to the door, and before he opened it said, “I talked to Snow, she’ll be here in ten minutes to pick you up for school. Have fun with your two hours, and I’ll meet you at the bookstore at four-thirty.”
Because of my mood, I wanted to argue just to start a fight. But, I thought of the journal and the secrets I was hiding from him, and decided to drop it and keep up my snarky attitude. “Oh, believe me, I will.” The nonchalant-bitchy behavior I portrayed didn’t match the thrashing hurricane in my gut.
15
School was certain to be as boring as always. Without art classes, I hardly had a reason to even attend. Showing up was more for Snow than anything or anyone else. Well, that and graduating, I guess I could have said; when my diploma is handed to me, she would be the first one I needed to thank.
When I got into her car, the first words out of her mouth were, “Why do you keep making Chandler’s life a living Hell?
”
I had to take several deep breaths before I could answer. In a voice that was as controlled as I could possibly manage, I said, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”
“But I did!”
Snow was not helping the situation. “Look, I get it you’re his girl and he’s your guy, but I’ll be damned if I let the two of you gang up on me.” I took my lip-gloss from my bag. “Haven’t you heard of the Anti-Bullying Act?” Chandler’s word, infuriating, popped into my head.
“Technically, it’s not bullying if we’re looking out for you so you won’t be kidnapped by some sick angel-vampire-whatever-he-is and made to be his bride!” Snow had turned down the music and was shouting now. “So, for the love of all that’s holy, would you please listen to Chandler?”
A pleasant silence filled the car. I didn’t want to hear anymore, or debate about something I would never win. We were almost at school when I told her Blacwin called.
“Oh, my God! That’s awesome, he’s alive.”
Okay, that was not the response I thought she would give, nor was I hoping for one so depressing, half-way uplifting, or profound. “Ah...yeah, he’s still alive.” Snow had a way of saying her true feelings without thinking them through; a gift, maybe...something most didn’t do.
“What else did he say?”
I was reluctant to tell her, but I trudged on. “He said he’d be home soon.” I hated saying those words aloud. Realizing those actions might not come for a long time killed me on the inside. Each time I thought of our last time together, I hurt even more. Every cell that was once filled with him began to wither. The only hope I had was he would return.
“Listen, at least it’s Friday. You have the whole weekend to do whatever you want.”
Actually, I had four hours over the next two days to do whatever I wanted. The rest would be whatever Chandler thought was appropriate. I wanted to spend most of it at the bookshop reading Adelina’s journal. But, I’d have to find a way to conceal what I was actually reading.
Mr. Yves was helping a customer when I arrived after school. It was a boy, no older than twelve, asking about the history of Abraham Lincoln. His mother stood near the side of the shop. She picked up book after book. She grimaced each time she laid a book down. Right away I thought, she’s the type of woman who loved the cheesy romance novels. If I was right, she would have been out of luck at Yves Antique Pages. The boy seemed to have found the book he was looking for and made his way to the cash register with it in his hand. I greeted him and his mother, and rang them up. After the transaction was complete, they left. It was only Mr. Yves and me in the store. He gave me the warmest hug. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed it until I was practically in tears.
He held me at arm’s length. “Any word from Blacwin?”
“He called this morning.”
Mr. Yves let out a long sigh of relief. “Is he safe?”
I shrugged. “As far as I know. He still doesn’t know when he’s coming home.” That was the hardest thing to accept. At least, if I had a date there would be reason to be more excited each day that passed, instead of being filled with more worry and longing.
“I know it’s difficult. But, I have no doubt Blacwin will do anything and everything in his power to return to you.”
I had no doubt either; I just didn’t want him killed in the process. Lowering my head, I tried to hide how much I missed him. “I know.”
Mr. Yves lifted my chin. “Iris, you have been through so much in your short life, it’s all right to let your feelings show.”
“Sometimes, I have this feeling if I push the hurt and loss back down into the abyss of my soul, everything will magically go back to the way it was.” The admission didn’t sound as logical when spoken.
“Now is what matters. Now is the only thing we can change; living in the past only hinders our future.”
I nodded. He was right on all levels. I thought of the journal in my bag. I had snuck it in while Chandler busied himself in the kitchen, before I left for school. The journal seemed to have its own heart beat and called to me in a language only I understood. The words spilled from my mouth before I even knew what I was saying to Mr. Yves, “Carina, Adeline’s sister, left me a journal.” I took the journal out of my bag and held it up.
Mr. Yves’ stare was more curious than questioning. He knew the magical power of the Witch. “Have you learned anything useful?”
“Nothing useful, just that Adelina had been cursed as the Carving Witch when she was sixteen.” I had scanned through it during study hall. Adelina’s handwriting was small and precise. The letters looped and spun as if in dance. They were beautiful. The entries were written as things happened, not daily. Some were half of a page, while others were two and three pages. Most of the first ones were about how she tried to survive. “I skimmed over a few of the entries. The last one I skimmed over was when she arrived at Skelside. I wanted to go back and start reading from there. Hopefully, in the next few, I’ll understand why Carina gave me the journal in the first place. I mean, there has to be a reason, right?”
Mr. Yves nodded. “I would think so. But then again, she is a crafty one.”
That broke my spirits a little. But, he was right, I couldn’t rely on Carina to help me; she even admitted to using me. “I know.”
“Why don’t you get settled with the journal and see if there’s anything.” He gestured to a chair in the corner of the store that hadn’t been there the last time I was here.
“When did you get that?”
“Yesterday. Since we’ve moved books from the floor to the shelves, we had room. I went to see our friend, Marley, at the vintage shop, and she had just gotten it in. It’s a nice fit within our eclectic array of furnishings. Don’t you think?”
Light and dark stripes flowed over and around the fabric. It had over-sized armrests, and the seat was plump with stuffing. It looked very inviting. “I think it’s perfect.” So perfect, that I couldn’t wait to sit in it. I made my way through the books toward the chair.
“I’ll make you some tea,” said Mr. Yves.
Curling my feet under me, I nestled in the chair. It was perfect. A few minutes later Mr. Yves handed me my tea. “Thank you.”
“I’ll be getting involved in something, but holler if you need me. Or, if you learn anything.”
He wove his way through the stacks of books to the wall near the front of the store. It had only been a few days, but he looked older than when I had last seen him. His back seemed to hunch a bit more than before. I knew he was a lot older than my dad, but I wasn’t sure how much older. I’ve been selfish to think with everything that had happened, I was the only one who had suffered. This was no time to be giving myself a hard time. I took a sip of the tea, berry and ginger, one of my favorites. Since I wasn’t rushed or sneaking to read the journal in the dark, I studied it before opening. Its worn leather cover looked in decent condition and held up through God-knew-what over the last five hundred years. I turned it over and in the bottom right hand corner was a small branding. It was a carving knife, the same as the mark hidden under my tattoo. The hairs on my arms rose and chills scampered up my neck.
Before thinking anymore about how creepy and unbelievable my life was, I opened the journal to Adelina’s entry of when she arrived at Skelside. The door jingled and I jerked my head to see who it was. The pages of the journal slapped together as I slammed it shut. I was ready to shove the journal in between other books on the shelf behind me if it was Chandler. When I saw it was an older man, I relaxed. I recognized him as one of our regular customers. He and Mr. Yves started chatting. Note to self: tell Mr. Yves not to mention journal in front of Chandler.
Opening the journal, I turned to September 29.
29 September 1567 ~
Skelside is a place I happened upon. I hadn’t even known of its existence until I emerged from the forest to see its dark looming structure. It is magnificent in its own right. I cut across the field and I made my way ove
r a bridge with slithering creatures in the water below. As weak as I was, I hurried across. When I looked behind me, off in the distance there seemed to be a small village. Around me though, the landscape was broad and lush with every color of flower known to man: reds, pinks, whites, purples, oranges...the colors seemed infinite. Aside from the meadow near what used to be my home, the world I had come from was dirty and poor. This was not the case with Skelside. Although I was apprehensive to approach, I continued onward toward the castle. When I was close enough to see the massive entrance, I saw men wearing long black coats and facemasks guarded it. I was taken from behind with no time to grab the knife from the sheath under my skirt. When I screamed, a hand clasped over my mouth. A piece of rough material was wrapped over my eyes and tied at the back of my head.
Someone hissed in my ear, “You are going to be a good little darling, aren’t you?”
Fear, greater than I had ever known, swept through me like a storm. I quickly nodded. And without another word, they took me to Lord Darenfys. The blindfold was not removed until I was forced to kneel at the feet of a man. When my blurry vision cleared, I saw that he was stunningly regal. His blond hair was pulled back and tied at the nape of his neck. Realizing I was staring, I quickly looked away.
His soft voice eased some of my nervousness. “My dear child; why...you look like you haven't eaten in days, possibly weeks?” He gestured to one of the guards and they left immediately. “What is your name?”
“Adelina deBlays, my Lord.”
“The name suits you well.” He rested his elbow on his knee and leaned in closer to me. “Adelina, your eyes are one of the most interesting colors I've ever seen.” His stare seemed to sear through me. Embarrassed, I lowered my eyes. “No need to hide them, look at me,” he commanded in a controlled tone. I did. “The only other time I have seen eyes so violet, they were eyes that belonged to a witch.”
At that moment, I knew I was doomed. He would have me killed; a public execution to show the evil I had become. Terror coursed through every part of my being. A heavy door opened behind me, my heart thudded in my chest. I was scared to look over my shoulder and see his guards coming to take me away, but I did anyway. A dirty servant held a tray and came toward us.