by Ainsley Shay
“That’s weakened; it’ll do nothing to help you get out of here. You’ll have another chance if you drink every drop that’s in that cup.” She glanced down the hall. “And each day, Slave Rift will bring you more. Drink it. Keep drinking it until your body goes through transition—”
“How will I—”
“Know? Oh, darling, you’ll know.” She tilted her head back and gave a sigh with a sultry moan. When she looked at me, she said, “Then, you’ll be ready.”
I glanced behind me. The thick dark liquid looked like mud. My stomach turned at the thought of swallowing it.
“You’ve already wasted three days. Your body is getting weaker by the moment. And, if your stubbornness continues to win over any rational thought, you’ll continue to weaken and become even more useless, you stupid girl. Is that what you want?” Adelina expelled a long frustrated breath. “I had higher hopes for you.” She sighed and leaned against the bars. “You were my strongest and worst spell I have ever created.” She glanced sideways, I presumed at Rift, and looked back at me. “The worst part is there isn’t anything I can do about it. And in another hundred years we’ll be right here again, reliving this moment, if you don’t kill him now.”
She wanted him dead more than anything else, but I had never understood the love she had for him. “Why do you love him so much?”
Her eyes flamed with pure hatred. “I don’t,” she hissed.
“Then why do you have Kenyon carry around your pain, and yet you still feel love for that monster—”
“That monster, as you call him, gave me a chance. He believed in me.”
“He wanted to use you for your magic,” I rasped.
“He loved me before you came along.” Pain and longing fell off her words like hot wax.
The fight in me started to grow and give me strength. “You’re so self-centered you don’t know what love is.”
“My mother loved me,” she spat.
“Before you became a freak.” The remark was cold and harsh, but she deserved it. “You have ruined people’s lives for your own entertainment. You’re a sick woman. And now, you’re using me to finish what you started.”
Deep lines etched in her brow. Her mask of strength was crumbling. Through gritted teeth she said, “I look out for me. That’s all that matters in this cruel world.”
I grasped the bars to help hold me up. “How did Carina end up here?”
“That was her own fault.”
“And I’m sure you had nothing to do with it.”
“Maybe a little. See, my little sister will do practically anything for me. She thinks if she does enough for me, then I’ll bring that child of hers back.”
“How could you do that to a child? Your niece?” The question was out before my brain could shut it down. Curiosity was too large a beast to capture this time.
“It was easy.”
“You’re heartless.”
“That child would have broken her heart. So, I saved her from all of that.” She shifted. “Let me tell you how life really works. When you love someone, you’re exposed... for them to rip your heart out, kill every feeling you’ve ever had, and suck you into their world only to spit you into Hell. If you don’t hurt them first, then I promise you, you will be the one who’s left to suffer.”
Exhausted, I slid down the bars. “I guess you’ve got a pretty strong case there.” The scent of the blood in the cup rose up and I bent over to vomit but nothing came up.
“As for you, the longer you wait, the more you will lose Blacwin and Chandler.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve already lost them to Penemuel—”
“Penemuel is a fool. He’s incapable of doing anything right. He’d do well to be the Lord’s jester.”
Adelina bent close to the bars and clicked her long nails against the steel. Her tilted smile was wicked. “Save them or not, I don’t care. But, I’ll tell you this, if I have to wait another century for you—I will—”
“You’ll what?” I gained enough strength to pull myself upright. “There’s nothing more you can do to me. Why don’t you just turn Darenfys into stone or something? Or don’t those witchy powers work anymore?”
Her anger flared. “As you saw at Kenyon’s, they work just fine.” I flinched. “I can’t turn him into stone and trap him in a world only he knows, a world so lonely and cold, a place with only darkness.” I thought of my mom and Snow and how they felt, and if what Adelina said was the truth. I prayed not.
“Why not?”
“Because that curse was stronger than any feeling I had ever had. Curses aren’t a bowl with mixed frog toes and herbs. Curses are created and fortified with feelings and emotion. The stronger those are, the stronger the curse. He hurt me. You hurt me. There wasn’t a simple curse that would ever come from the agony you both caused me.” She walked back and forth in front of my cell. Her fists were balls of fury, her breaths were audible plumes of sorrow and pain, her eyes were every shade of agony and revenge. “I loved him,” she finally said.
“Adelina, I never meant to hurt you. I hated Lord Darenfys the moment he walked through the door in the dining hall five hundred years ago.”
“I know.” She lowered her gaze. “But it doesn’t matter now. This is the only way for all of this to end. There is no other way.” She rolled her neck. When her gaze leveled on me, chills racked my skin. “Your job is to kill him, so I can kill you. That’s all there is to do. That’s all there ever was to do.”
12
Adelina wasn’t going to let me live after I killed the Lord. My plan, our plan, had been to get in, make the kill, get out. Things could not have gone worse. I glanced at the blood and thought about all of the strength it would give me. But, I still couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Adelina came back later that day to bring Carina food and water. She stayed to feed her sister. Right before she left, she gave Rift back his keys and made a promise to check on her sister in a couple of days. I still hadn’t figured out how she was able to move so casually around the castle. Even dressed like a servant, there were guards everywhere. Her beauty alone would give her away. When she had returned, she hadn’t even glanced in my cell. She had said all she had to say.
On schedule, Rift brought a fresh cup of blood. While he was near my cell, I asked him, “Why didn’t you tell anyone about seeing Adelina?”
“Do you have any idea what she’s capable of?”
I nodded and a sick bark of laughter came out. “How do you think I ended up with you?” I eased onto my side and tried to find some peace and go to sleep.
On the verge of sleep, I heard, “Rift, open this gate!” demanded a deep voice.
Rift scurried down the hall toward the entrance. “I’m coming.”
“Where is she?” The voice called.
“At the end,” said Rift.
Unhesitating stomps came in my direction. I slowly sat up and leaned against the wall.
“Is she ready to be released?” the newcomer asked.
“I didn’t know a release was planned for her.”
“Idiot.”
When the faces came into view, Penemuel stood only a few feet away from me. “Unblessed Hell. She looks like she’ll die any minute. Has she been drinking her fluids?”
“No, not one drop. Each day I bring her fresh and each day she knocks it over.”
Penemuel’s glare was quizzical and furious. “The Lord has been patiently awaiting her... rehabilitation.”
“I’m sorry sir. What would you like me to do?”
“Force it down her throat.”
“Yes, sir.” The keys rattled in Rift’s shaking hands. His head bobbed up and down in a constant mode of agreement.
“Just wait on that. Maybe a little persuasion wouldn’t hurt.” Penemuel looked to his left. “Lord Darenfys had meant to bring you a gift, but he has been rather busy. So, I took it upon myself to follow through with his promise.” He nodded to whoever he was looking at. “Guard, come
forward.”
Boots sounded from down the hall. The heavy steps grew close. Blacwin came to stand next his brother. All of the air went out of me. Penemuel folded his arms over his chest and gave me a sick grin. I wanted to bend these bars that kept us apart, go to him, and fold his strong arms around me. He wore no helmet. This was the first time I had seen his beautiful face since we’d been at Skelside. His eyes were distant and seemed to be lost in some other place. What had they done to him? He made no effort to move. I thought of the last time we were like this, he had told me he loved me. I had given him the necklace with the pendant; the one I now wore. My God, our lives had been connected for centuries. All of the nightmares I had ever journaled came back to me a great flood of pain, loss, sorrow, and love. Our love.
“Since you’re so damned stubborn and would rather die than make my Lord happy, I thought I’d bring you a motivation.” He slapped Blacwin on the shoulder. I took the distasteful gesture as an offering of sorts. I’ll let you see your beloved boyfriend; maybe I won’t even kill him if you drink the Lord’s blessed blood. If Penemuel knew Adelina had been here, wanting the same of me, he might think differently. She knew what the blood would do to me, so did Penemuel, and the Lord, but neither understood what it would mean for them. Penemuel’s mouth widened and it was the same insidious smile he’d offered to me at my dad’s funeral. That moment seemed like ages ago, but it had only been two months.
Look at me, I wanted to scream at Blacwin. And then I did. I could no longer take it. “Look at me! Me, the one you gave everything up for. The one you found again.” My voice broke and I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. “Look at me, I’m right here in front of you.” I crawled to the bars and pulled myself up. “Please, Blacwin, I love you,” I pleaded. I reached through the iron to touch his face. Penemuel jerked my arm to the side and it caught between the bars; I cried out in pain.
“No touching the subject,” Penemuel said.
Blacwin did nothing but stand with his hand on the butt of his sword. I closed my eyes. Penemuel let go of my arm and I cradled it in my hand. “What have you done to him?” I growled.
“Made him obedient. I had to do something after you made him into a useless sap. I’ve never seen a solider wither away as fast as my brother did for you.”
He still hadn’t answered my question. “What did you do to make him like this?”
“A few beatings, a little blood, some torture... replacing the demented happily-ever-after thoughts with real ones.”
“You brainwashed him?”
“That’s an ugly term for reconditioning.”
“Blacwin, please look at me.” I grasped the bar, careful not to make any sudden moves. “Please come back to me. I need you. I’m going to die soon and I need you to know that I love you.” His gaze slid a fraction to me. Did he see me, or just some girl in a cell? I hurried to say more with the possible imagined hope. “I love you. Please don’t ever give up looking for me.” I didn’t care that I was pouring my heart out in front of Penemuel. He would only see it as entertainment, anyway. I hoped when I was reborn in the next life, Blacwin would find me again. It was all I could hope for. I slid down the bar and rested on the floor.
Penemuel grabbed the back of Blacwin’s hair and shoved him hard into the bars. His face winced at the pain. His brother held him there. “Your little act of pride will not win. Consider him,” he pressed Blacwin harder into the bars of steel, “dead.”
“You’d kill your own brother?”
“He who does not serve Lord Darenfys deserves to die.” Penemuel’s voice dropped into a hushed growl. “And she who does not serve the Lord must suffer.”
“Kill me and put an end to this madness.”
“Killing you is not a request I will fulfill.” He released Blacwin. Blacwin stumbled back into the wall. He moved just out of reach of Penemuel. “It will be best for all, if you drink the blood.”
I eased back. My hand shook as I picked up the metal cup. It was cool in my sweating palm. I hurled the cup at the bars. A dark horizontal line streaked the air as it flew out of the cup and through the bars. Blood splattered over Penemuel’s face. The dark liquid seeped into the uniform, turning invisible. His eyes were like orbs of heated coals.
He dragged the back of his hand across his face. The slick liquid smeared over his mouth and cheek. “I will make sure death does not come easily for you,” Penemuel said. Then, he and Blacwin turned to leave. From the end of the corridor I heard Penemuel demand to Rift, “Get her more blood.”
I watched them leave. I closed my eyes and had a single thought before I cried for the last time that day; as I lay here dying I was sure of only one thing, there’s nothing more terrifying than a self-made monster.
I didn’t know if it was night or day when Blacwin had come. And, I didn’t know how much time had passed since he’d left. Adelina’s words fluttered to the surface of my foggy brain, Drink the blood. She said strength would come from it. I was in no position to be saving or killing anyone. And as the hate for what Penemuel had done to Blacwin grew, taking him away from me, leaving him only an empty shell, I wanted to do both.
Penemuel had also warped Chandler into an empty shell. There was no one else who could save them. There was only me. And I had only a small chance in Hell of succeeding. What if Adelina was right and his blood was the answer? I sat up and rested my hands on the floor to steady my swaying body. The room was dark. I called out to Rift but he didn’t answer. Pushed to the point of desperation, I felt around for the cup of blood. My fingers moved aside straw and finally touched something. It wasn’t the cup. Its firm, long handle made me think, maybe there was a chance.
My hands were scraped all over and as I ran my hands over the floor, the pain followed. Finally, off to my right, was the cup. My hands shook as I picked it up. I felt wet seep into the dress near my chest. The scent of blood rushed me and I wanted to vomit before I had even taken a sip. I held my nose and brought the tin cup to my lips. I let out the breath I was holding as I tilted the cup back. Cool, thick liquid filled my mouth and I held it there, afraid to swallow.
When I finally gulped it down, it slid down my throat and oozed into the hollow cavity of my stomach. I dropped the cup; it clattered on the dirt floor. I gripped my stomach, fell onto my side, and landed in the spilt blood. The slick, sticky stuff coated my cheek and matted my hair. But I couldn’t get up. I lay there until I fell asleep.
I woke to the sound of scraping. Rift was pushing another cup into my cell. I wasn’t sure if I was disgusted or if my disgust had turned to joy. My stomach groaned.
“You made quite a mess of yourself. Looks like you had a massacre party all by your lonesome.” He shook his head and chuckled as he left.
My body felt different, though I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up or I was just lightheaded from sitting up too quickly. I reached for the cup when Rift walked away. I took a giant gulp and set it on the ground again before I dropped it.
I sat with my arms on my knees and waited for whatever effects were sure to come. Nothing happened. My stomach was in knots, but I forced down another gulp. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and called Rift.
“What is it my sweet?” he hollered back.
“I need a basin and a cloth to clean myself.”
“I’m not sure if you noticed, but we don’t have room service.”
I hadn’t wasted my energy asking again. The cup of blood was more than halfway gone and I was surprised that I had drunk that much. Tingles like electric pulses coursed through my veins. Thoughts raced as fast as a lighting storm in my head. I stood. The dizziness or lightheadedness hadn’t come. I saw details in the room I hadn’t noticed before. Something was happening. I bent, picked up the cup and drank the last drops of Lord Darenfys’ blood.
13
Carina screamed. She must have regained some of her strength, at least in her lungs. “I want my baby! Where’s my baby?”
“Calm down, girl. You got no ba
by,” Rift told her.
Her voice dropped into a hissed whisper. “Don’t challenge me.”
“Listen, pretty, you’re getting shipped out of here today, so I’ll challenge you all I want.”
“I’m being set free?” Carina’s tone lifted with hope.
I could hear their exchanged words as if I was in the same cell as Carina.
“You should know by now, none of us are free.” He barked a laugh. “Freedom is an illusion, but hope, hope is even worse; it’s a false and terrible, yet beautiful thing that will slowly kill you if you let it.”
“Then what?” Her tone changed, panic replaced her hope. “Where are they taking me? I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this.”
“Carina?” I called out. Her rants would serve no one today. I used the bars to pull myself up and found the task was easier than I had expected.
“Who is that?” she asked.
Rift’s keys rattled to life. My heart sped. He was taking her and I didn’t know if I’d ever have this chance to talk to Carina again. “Iris.”
“Iris, blind, Florida girl, Iris?”
It wasn’t the nicest description to be remembered as, but it was accurate. “Yes.”
“Where’s my baby girl, my sweet Evie?” she yelled. “My sister told me if I brought that girl here, she would give me back my baby.”
I didn’t know what to say. There was no shame and I couldn’t blame Carina for what she had done. I probably would have done the same to save someone I loved. She must have been delusional to not know. I didn’t want to answer her. The truth was brutal. “How long have you been here?” I asked instead.
“Doesn’t matter.” Her voice turned small. “I’m never going to see my baby again, am I?”
I waited a long time before I answered her. “I don’t know.” It was the truth. There was always the possibility; if Adelina was willing.
“Rift?” A male voice called out.
“Yes, sir?” I could hear Rift shuffle toward the entrance gate.