by Ainsley Shay
Wetness glistened in each of their eyes. That’s the moment the tears filled my eyes.
Blacwin’s pulled me close. “You did it, baby. You did it,” he whispered and kissed the top of my head.
Afraid to speak, I only nodded. We walked down the few steps to join everyone.
I stood next to my mom. She held Evie in one arm and wrapped her other arm around me. “My rainbow, look what you’ve done. My God, is there no end to this happily ever after?”
Chancing it, and praying I wouldn’t crack with all the joy bubbling inside of me, I took a moment to smile in complete and untainted elation.
The instant I let myself feel that my life was truly a fairytale ending, my mom asked, “Iris, do you think your dad will mind if I bring a baby home?”
I did crack then, but not with joy. I felt stupid for not thinking of my mom wanting to see my dad. “I um... he’s—” I took a deep breath and looked at her. I turned and put my hand on her arm. “Dad won’t mind. He can’t—” I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. “He passed away.”
My mom’s face fell. “When?”
“Almost five months ago.” I prayed she wouldn’t ask how. Not here. I wanted to sit with her and tell her everything from the beginning, let her read my journal.
She nodded.
I put my hand on the small of her back. “Come on, mom, let’s get out of here.”
The corners of her mouth lifted. “I’d like that.”
We put Evie in the back seat of the Jeep and strapped the seat belt on her. We’d have to go shopping for a car seat, and whatever else little people needed.
I wasn’t sure what was in store for any of us. But, we all had been given another chance.
“What happens now?” Snow asked.
“Anything we want,” Chandler said.
“For me, it’s graduating,” I said.
29
Graduating proved to be my next biggest challenge. I had missed more days than I had attended. There were only six weeks left of school. For the first time in a while I was grateful I lived in a small town, and everyone knew each other. My teachers were more than fair. They agreed to let me make up the quizzes and tests I had missed, and they let me do extra credit assignments to bring up my grades. School work and studying was all I did for the next six weeks.
In that time, I reconnected with my mom. What I had told her had been more of the truth than not. I was grateful she had known about the Carving Witch, it made it easier to tell her she had been frozen as a statue for the last fifteen years. My dad told me the books my mom usually chose to read to me were fairytales; so I was thankful she had always been open to magic. I left out the part about me being immortal until one afternoon. Chandler loved having a mom. He spent more time with her than I did while I worked on graduating. And, she took to him immediately, and after hearing our story, she really became attached. Chandler had been the reason I had to share my secret. She asked him questions no other explanation except being immortal could answer. When he looked at me, she did, too. I nodded. Then, I told her everything else I had left out: how I became immortal, my time in the dungeon, the more painful memories I hadn’t wanted her to know, especially how I had suffered.
She listened without interrupting. When I was done, she knelt in front of me and held me. Chandler was sitting cross-legged on the floor. Evie sat in his lap and turned the pages of a colorful board book. When she reached the end, she’d start at the beginning again.
My mom raised Evie as if she was her own. The little girl was sweet and innocent. She had her mother’s eyes. Thinking of Carina, and watching her daughter, was terribly sad. Evie called my mother, momma. I wondered if their bond was stronger because they had been next to each other in the garden. It was an unanswerable question. When my mom explained she felt nothing when the curse had been placed on her, and that her mind was as frozen in time as her body, I was relieved to know Adelina had lied about what her statues felt, that they were locked inside their own minds.
Mom and Evie stayed with Mr. Yves and Miss Rosy until she found a home of her own for them. She and the little girl helped Mr. Yves in the bookshop every day. My mom told me it reminded her of when she would bring me to the bookshop. Evie was almost the same age as I was when my mom disappeared. So, for mom, it was almost like picking up where she had left off. It was odd to think, my mom was only seven years older than I was. When we talked about my dad, her eyes filled with tears. I had taken her to the cemetery the first time, and Mr. Yves and Miss Rosy had taken her several times after.
I stayed in the apartment. It was a quiet place for me to study and concentrate on graduating. Blacwin was a huge help with the studying part; he also posed to be a hot distraction more often than not. But, I managed to get all of my work done and did well on my finals. May 31st was the date of graduation, and I was walking with the rest of my class.
Chandler and Snow had more in common than anyone had thought, even them. He bought Snow a car for graduation. She told me in confidence she missed her big butt car, but she was still thrilled. Snow got a job working at the Vintage shop with Marley. Her plans to go away to college were put on hold.
During the graduation party, Mr. Yves handed me a card. “You didn’t have to, you’ve already—”
Mr. Yves held his hand up in opposition. I smiled and shook my head. When I read the card, of course I cried. The hug we shared said more than a simple thank you for a graduation card. When we pulled away, he handed me an envelope. I lifted the loose flap and unfolded the document. It was the title to Yves Antique Pages and the apartment above. My name was typed in the owner’s box. “Mr. Yves...I don’t know what to say.” I was at a loss for any words worthy of this incredible gift.
“My dear girl, you, more than anyone, will cherish this shop as much as I do.” He pulled me into a bear hug.
“Iris.”
I opened my tearing eyes. It was Blacwin who had called me. “Yeah?” Mr. Yves released me.
Blacwin’s face darkened when he saw me. “What’s wrong?”
I smiled and shook my head. “Absolutely nothing.” He didn’t look convinced. I handed the title to him. He read it. “Can you believe it?”
Blacwin looked up from the document. “Yeah, I can.” When he held his hand out to shake Mr. Yves’, Mr. Yves pulled him into a hug. “This gift will be very tough to beat.”
“What was it you wanted?” I asked.
He handed me the title, I folded it and put it back into the envelope. “Your mom wants to cut the cake.”
My mind was racing with an idea. I hadn’t had time to start painting and drawing again since returning from Skelside. But, my new idea was about art. I’d have to stay with my mom during renovations. Neither of us would mind, and it would be worth it.
“Why do you look like you just found gold?” Chandler asked, after we had cut the cake.
“’Because I did.” I told him about the bookshop and my idea.
“It’s genius.”
Blacwin came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “I have something I want to tell you,” he whispered in my ear.
“Okay.” He turned me around to face him. His hands were on my hips. I stared into his black eyes. They looked full of concern. I was terrified he was going to say something awful, he was leaving town, or worse. “What is it?”
“I don’t want you to freak out.”
I had done the opposite. I shifted from foot to foot and fidgeted with my ring. My voice broke. “This doesn’t sound good.” I could feel the pressure in my chest expand.
Blacwin lifted his hand and tilted my face to look at him. “Iris, I bought a cottage here in town.”
I croaked out a laugh. “You’re not leaving?”
He shook his head. “Never.”
“Why did you think I’d freak out, that’s perfect?”
“I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way. But...” he moved loose strands of my hair away from my eyes,
“whenever you’re ready, I want you to come live with me.”
“I’m ready now.”
His hand on my waist pulled me tight to him. There was no room for anything between us except the happiness consuming us. His other hand cupped my cheek. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “I was hoping you’d say that.” He kissed me with all of the passion I also felt.
One month later, we had a grand opening celebration for Yves Antique Pages. The turnout was huge. I had run my idea by Mr. Yves, and he loved it. The bookshop did indeed get a new look. We closed the bookshop for the time it took to turn the apartment into a loft for the bookshop. The furniture and paint remained the same. An iron spiral staircase led to the loft, which was home for the collection of art we now offered. Some of it was part of my portfolio, other pieces on display and sold were by artists from all over.
Snow was in the corner of the shop during the grand opening of the art shop. I walked over to her. “You know, you’d have a lot more to paint if you stopped gnawing on those things.” She lowered her hand from her teeth.
Her arms circled me. “I’m so proud you’ve found your art again.” She pulled back and looked at me. “Can you believe how everything has all worked out?”
I nodded and smiled, as I looked around the bookshop and gallery. My art was once again part of my life. And was full of every color I could get my hands on. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
I was the girl who now saw colors—it was a miracle. I ignored a hundred calls a day from doctors and journalists. Eventually, I knew, I’d become old news. But the good thing... people were buying my art. And, being the tattoo lover I was, I started a website with tattoo designs, and fans would send me pictures of their tattoos I’d created.
I was still young, but my soul was old. My past and present were intertwined through magic, curses, and fallen angels. In the end, I was happy, and the world had never looked so glorious and bold. Colors were nothing like I’d ever imagined. They spilled into one another in my art. My clothes were vibrant. I even dyed my hair various colors. I put a fish tank in the bookshop and bought every tropical colored fish I could find.
Watching Mr. Yves with Miss Rosy brought tears to my eyes, and a smile to my lips. I quietly gazed around the room at all the people in my life. My heart ached with so much happiness it could have easily erupted with confetti. When my eyes landed on Blacwin, tears of pure content and joy threatened to spill down my cheeks. My life couldn’t have been more perfect.
30
Six months after graduation.
My world in color was far more beautiful compared to my gray one. It sounds so obvious, but when there’s only been one way you saw everything around you, it made it difficult to judge, so it all became equal in a way. I judged things less than I do now. Before, it was simple. Most things weren’t prettier than something else. A light pink shirt was just the same as a yellow shirt; there was no difference in a brown leather couch or a black leather couch; a silver car and a gray car, it didn’t matter. Faces were an exception. I’ll never forget when I saw Blacwin for the first time, dripping with rain, his hand pushing back dark hair from his forehead, the sheepish look he gave me as the water pooled around his boots. Handsome had an all-new meaning in that gray world. I sighed in the memory of him.
I stole a glance at him from the garden. He wore indigo, loose-fitting pants and a white, V-neck t-shirt. His black hair, messed from sleep, fell just above eyes that were the color of midnight. He held a red mug filled with coffee (side note: it had two sugar cubes, cream, and a squirt of vanilla) in one hand, and the Sunday comics in the other. The bright colors on the newspaper were like hundreds of tiny, bursting rainbows scattered on the page. He sat on a blond wooden swing that hung on our front porch. The pillows were striped light canary-yellow, baby-blue, and hot-pink, like the streak in Snow’s hair. One leg dangled, the other was bent and rested on the swing.
Blacwin had been an incredibly patient teacher. He explained colors as if they were fragile breathing creatures. When he described a color, I could literally feel the warmth or coolness of it; I could imagine the lightness of a feathery gray or the heaviness of hickory or carob. One of my favorite things I’d done so far was going to pick out paint. Holy hues galore! I was in Heaven. I plucked every color sample card they had off the shelf. I could have stapled them all over the house and been perfectly happy. I mean why look at just one color all the time when you could wake up to a thousand rainbows? So, that’s what we did on one of the walls in our bedroom. The center of the wall was whites, creams, and bright yellows, and then they expanded out into golds and oranges, and reached out into fiery reds and crimsons, until those breath-taking hues settled into mauves and ended in deep violets. The blacks and grays were on the very bottom. Those drifted into lapis and denim and sapphire blues. The entire image was a perfect mosaic of the sunset we saw on the plane. I loved waking up to it.
The light-brown wooden planks on the porch were a shade lighter and a tone harsher than the cat we adopted. Well, truth be told, he kind of came with the cottage Blacwin purchased near a creek on the edge of town. Whether the previous owners no longer wanted him or he was a friendly stray, we didn’t know. He came and went as he pleased. When his visits became longer each time, we decided to name him. We called him Johannes, Jo for short. He was named after Johannes Itten, a master and teacher of color. It took the cat a couple of weeks to come when we called him, but eventually he caught on.
Jo sat on the swing next to Blacwin. The green feathery leaves on the willow tree behind them gently swayed in the breeze. Blacwin chuckled. The sound was like the sweetness of honeysuckle, and as bright as yellow. I smiled. Getting up, I walked toward him. No one really thinks about their name. It’s given to you at birth and you either hate it or you love it. For the first time in my life I finally felt like my name fit me; Iris—it could be a flower, part of the eye, a rainbow. I heard it drift by me as I was lost in thought.
“Iris,” Blacwin called from the porch. I hadn’t imagined hearing it. I picked up my pace. “You are stunning.”
I looked down at my dirty cantaloupe-colored tank, and my knees caked with soil. “I think you may need glasses.”
He laughed, folded the paper, and set it on the cushion next to him. He held out his hand. I took it, and he pulled me down next to him. Jo voiced a half scratchy meow as I nudged him away from Blacwin. Blacwin threaded our fingers together and rested our hands in his lap.
“I love you.” Hearing those few words caused the sleeping dragonflies in my belly to dance. Since I had left Skelside, the switchblades had remained closed. Happy whizzing dragonflies took their place. And they loved to take flight whenever Blacwin said he loved me. They especially got excited when he grinned and only one corner of his mouth rose, like he was doing now.
I took off my garden gloves and ran my fingers through his hair. I leaned in and kissed his full blushed lips.
When I pulled back, his smile smoothed into place after our connection was loss.
“How are you feeling today?” he asked. If there were words, I would have spat them out. But I stayed silent. There were moments when something would catch my eye, or a flicker of a stranger’s expression, or even a detail in a book would remind me of Skelside or the Carving Witch. I dismissed the intrusion as soon as it flickered into existence. I knew they would forever be part of my life, but I refused to let them haunt me. The nightmares had stopped. For that, I’ll be forever grateful. There have been moments when I felt as free as a colorless breeze. I liked those moments best.
“I feel good today. I’m another day farther from the past.” I offered a weak smile.
He glanced at my necklace, the stone that held my color sight for over 500 years. Self-consciously, I touched it. “May I?” Hesitantly, he reached for the clasp. I nodded. He took the necklace off and coiled it in his palm. His lips brushed mine before he whispered in my ear. “I have something for you.”
I pulled back to lo
ok at him. “What’s the occasion?”
A smile teased his mouth. “Does there need to be one for me to give you something?”
“Spontaneous, are we?”
“Baby, there are a million promises I want to make you.” His voice was low and enticing. “One of them... I promise there will never be a dull moment between us.”
“That’s a big promise, considering we have all of eternity together,” I challenged with a hint of playfulness in my tone.
His grin was back. I’m glad I was sitting down, as my body melted against his and he kissed me deeply. When he broke the connection he looked into my eyes and said, “It is.” Blacwin reached beside the porch swing and picked something up. “I saw this and thought you would like it.” He handed me a long black jewelry box.
I took off the lid and my breath caught. Inside was a delicate silver necklace with a heart-shaped, diamond pendant. “It’s beautiful.” Blacwin took the necklace out of the box and placed it on my neck. The diamond heart rested in the hollow of my throat. I touched the stone and smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. Jo stood and stretched. I stroked his soft fur. He jumped down, and I assumed he was going to catch a lizard or bask in the sun somewhere. “So, what do you want to do today?” Blacwin asked.
I thought about it, and there was something I’d wanted to do, but had waited until everything settled down. “I’d like to go visit my father.” I had so much to tell him.
Blacwin nodded. “Do you want company?”
Joyous tears filled my eyes. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He kissed the top of my head.
I had a fleeting thought of what Mr. Yves always told me, don’t wish your life away. I smiled and shook my head.
“What is it?” Blacwin asked.
I looked into his dark wondering eyes. “With you, I’ll never have a reason to wish my life away.”