Chapter 39
Luitgard did not move. She was not even sure she could outrun a Goddess no matter how fast she was.
As the Goddess stepped closer, Luitgard whispered, "Please." She had not intended to speak, the words had been created by instinct. Her plea went unheeded.
The Goddess simply sunk the dagger deep into Luitgard's stomach without warning or flourish. In her shock, Luitgard's hands flew to the handle. The Goddess' fingers still grasped it. They were cold like the lake waters of her beloved home. She could feel a painful tingle move through all of her limbs.
She looked up into the Goddess's eyes. "You said you were bound to protect me," she said. Even as she spoke, she could feel her knees weaken.
The Goddess nodded. "I was; with one exception. In this place, with this dagger, I am free from my vow. It was the only way to end the contract I made with your grandfather."
"Why?"
The strange sensation of wanting to vomit without heaving washed over Luitgard. The Goddess reached out with her free hand and caressed her cheek.
"Because I am tired of these games," she said. "Your grandfather had me protect an entire village until you came along. But then you showed desire to travel on your adventures. He brought you to Rome to change our pact. If I protected you, wherever you were, that would be enough. To prove to him the deal had changed, I took your parents as payment. I had thought it a blessing, that I could sleep. But even just you is too much for me. I am tired."
Luitgard gave a small chuckle that then made her cringe in pain. "You haven't done a great job of protecting me," she said. "Even before this place."
"Did Merek gut you by that fire or rape you in Florence?" The Goddess asked.
"He never tried either," Luitgard wheezed.
The Goddess nodded. "He wished to kill you before Justin's eyes then to use you for his own desire," she said. "But I stayed his hand and even his will. I kept you safe even when you knew nothing of my presence. I am why he chose to speak with you instead and use his torments in ways that would not force me to intervene."
"Is that why you let Justin near the village?" Luitgard asked, "He never forced you to intervene?"
"Justin would never have harmed you or betrayed you. Merek had sent him to lure you out to leave the village unprotected but you were never in danger with him. If you had sent him away, he would never have told another soul about you or the Mintharchs. He was never any threat. So your people are dead but I have kept my side of the deal as difficult as it has been. Have you ever had to watch over even a single person for every moment?"
The Goddess lowered to her knees with Luitgard. She did not move her hand from her cheek. Though it was cold, it was also comforting. Any betrayal or hatred Luitgard had felt seemed unable to exist beneath the touch.
"I watched over all of my people," Luitgard said. "Every day I looked after dozens."
A faint smile touched the Goddess' lips. "Child," she said quietly, "You have no idea. Even with your loose care, you had to leave in the end. Even with their safety in your hands, you had to leave for your own answers. Do you really have a right to judge me?"
"With you holding a dagger in my gut? Yes."
The Goddess' eyes closed. "I did not expect you to understand," she said. "That is alright. But know this. Your sacrifice is not in vain. Ending the contract in this way was the only way your grandfather could keep his soul. It was only a matter of time before someone was born amongst your kind with more greed than compassion. That day, the protections would have fallen anyway and Kilchain's soul would have been my prisoner for the rest of time. This is a blessing for all of us."
Luitgard's neck lost its strength. Her head lolled forward and her eyes fell upon the lifeless Justin. The heat of her tears was too strong for the chill of the Goddess. The deity pulled her hand away.
"He was going to make me his wife," Luitgard whispered.
The Goddess slowly withdrew the blade and stood. "I am sorry, Luitgard," she said. "Of all the Kilchain's, I understood you best."
Luitgard's chuckle of indignation was cut short by the rapid loss of her blood. She fell forward onto the grass. As she turned her head to Justin, she reached with her hand for his.
"I should have listened to you," she said. "I am so sorry." Her fingers reached his and curled around them. The warmth had already fled and there was no response to her touch, yet she was comforted. She would be joining him soon. "Is there a Heaven?" she asked the Goddess.
"If there is, I have never been there."
Despite the answer, Luitgard smiled. Her lungs were losing their strength as she remembered Justin's warmth as he had held her. "There is."
Courted Sanctuary Page 41