‘Look out,’ said Ellen, her face relaxing into a smile again.
‘Now I have something I want to talk to you about before everyone gets back,’ said Emma. ‘I have a project in mind and it’s going to involve all of us.’
‘It is?’ said Liz.
‘I have to get an endorsement, but I’ve already been in touch with the Cancer Council, and that shouldn’t be a problem. And the only other thing is funding, of course, but with my contacts in the fashion industry, that shouldn’t be a problem either.’
‘What is it?’ asked Ellen.
‘I’m going to mount a campaign to make tanning unfashionable.’
‘Oh, is that all?’ Liz said drolly. ‘You realise dermatologists have been trying to do that for decades?’
‘But they haven’t had me on their side,’ said Emma. ‘And speaking of dermatologists, you’ll be our medical advisor of course, Liz.’
‘Okay, but I might not be a dermatologist for much longer,’ she said. ‘I’ve applied for a place in a surgical program.’
‘You have?’ said Ellen. ‘That’s fantastic.’
‘I don’t know if I’ll get in –’
‘Oh you will,’ Emma dismissed. ‘So you’ll just have to be our interim advisor until you find us a replacement.’
Liz smiled. ‘Whatever you say, Emma.’
‘And I want to launch a program into schools, so that will give you something to do while you’re on leave, Ellen.’
‘Oh?’ she stirred.
‘You don’t have to say yes now,’ Emma assured her. ‘Think about it, and then say yes.’
‘You said “all of us”. What about Evie?’ asked Liz.
‘She’s going to be my assistant in charge of administration. She showed a real knack when she took care of all the wedding business.’
‘So, you’ve talked to her about this?’ said Ellen.
‘No, not yet,’ said Emma. ‘It’s a pity she couldn’t be here.’
‘Where is she anyway?’ Liz asked.
‘Today’s the day,’ said Emma. ‘Craig’s moving to his mother’s, but she doesn’t want us to say anything to Mum and Dad yet. She’s going to tell the kids this afternoon.’
‘I can’t believe you’re making Daddy leave!’ Tayla cried. ‘I hate you, how could you?’
‘Tayla, calm down.’
‘Well, I’m going with him.’
‘No you’re not.’
‘Yes I am, you can’t stop me,’ she said, heading for the door of her bedroom.
‘Yes I can,’ Evie said firmly, raising her voice. Tayla wasn’t expecting that, and it stopped her in her tracks. ‘Now come back here and sit down, shut up and listen to what I have to say.’
Tayla actually did as she was told without a word, obviously thrown by her mother’s show of force. Though when she sat on the bed opposite Evie, Tayla set her face in its usual scowl, crossing her arms in front of herself like a shield.
But Evie was not going to be intimidated by her daughter. Ever again.
‘Tayla, whatever you’re thinking,’ she began, ‘you are much too young to understand what’s going on with Daddy and me, so I’m not going to talk to you about that. What I do want you to understand is that it’s very important that we do this, because we want to fix things so that we can stay together. This is just like time-out – remember, when you were little and I used to make you go to your room?’
‘You still do it now sometimes,’ she grumbled.
Not often enough. ‘Sometimes people need a little time out from each other,’ Evie went on, ‘to calm down, and think about what they’ve done, and the way they should behave in the future. Sometimes adults need time out too, Tayla, so they can work things out.’
‘Why can’t you go? Why does it have to be Daddy?’
Evie sighed heavily. ‘Tayla, all you do is complain when I leave you with your father for even one day,’ she said, but she kept her tone level and calm. ‘So I know you’re saying that just to be mean to me.’
Tayla was caught unawares by that, glancing furtively at her mother, then looking away again, her eyes blinking furiously. Evie decided to use it to her advantage.
‘You know what, Tayla, it makes me so sad to say this, because I love you very much, and you’re such a beautiful, strong, capable little girl . . .’ She paused. ‘But you’re not a very nice person.’
Now Tayla was clearly shocked. Her mouth dropped open as she stared straight at her mother.
‘But that’s my fault,’ Evie went on. ‘I made you this way, because I didn’t expect more from you, or more for myself. You see, I’ve got a problem with trying to be too nice, wanting to make sure everybody likes me, and you know what, that’s just as bad. It’s a weakness. I let you speak to me very rudely. I let you become selfish, and sometimes even cruel.’
Tayla could not maintain eye contact with Evie any longer, and she dropped her head to stare at her lap.
‘But I didn’t stop you or correct you enough, or teach you another way. How are you to know any better if your own mother doesn’t teach you? You’re a child,’ Evie said gently. ‘So from now on, I’m going to be a better mother. Maybe we’ll both have to work together: I need to stop being too nice, you need to be a little nicer. It’s going to be hard at first, like learning a new instrument or something. You’ll get frustrated, because you’ll make mistakes, and sometimes we’ll both feel like giving up. But I’m not going to. I love you too much to let you grow up into an unhappy person, Tayla. Because that’s what you’ll be if we don’t do something about it now.’
Evie noticed a tear drop onto the back of Tayla’s hand, which was clasped tightly in her lap. Evie got up and sat next to her on the bed.
‘And now I’m going to hug you, and you’re not going to want me to, but I’m going to anyway. You don’t have to hug me back.’
Tayla didn’t hug her back, but she didn’t push her away either. And they sat that way, together on the bed, for quite some time.
Summer
‘Hey Mum?’
Ellen had started preparing dinner and Kate had wandered into the kitchen and, inevitably, over to the fridge.
‘You know how I’ve been going out with Jordan?’ she said, staring into the refrigerator.
‘Did I?’ said Ellen, looking up from the chopping board, her brain scrambling to remember mention of a Jordan.
‘Yeah, I told you about him,’ she said. ‘You’ve been pretty preoccupied lately.’
That was true. But she was sure she would have remembered any announcement about a boy . . . Hmm, but it probably hadn’t been an announcement as such. Kate had probably tossed his name in with a whole bunch of friends she was going out with. Now this was her way of telling her mother that he stood out from the bunch.
‘Go on,’ said Ellen as she resumed chopping the carrots.
‘So, you know it’s the end of semester and we’re planning a big night on Thursday. It’s going to be huge, and well, it’ll probably carry on till, like, four or five in the morning, and Jordan, he lives over the north side, way up, near Hornsby, and anyway, so I was thinking, would it be all right if he just stayed over here?’
‘Sure. On the fold-out couch.’
‘Seriously, Mum?’ she moaned, closing the fridge door and turning to look at her mother, finally. ‘I thought you’d be a bit more open-minded.’
Now Ellen turned around to look at her. ‘Kate, give me a break. I haven’t even met the boy.’
‘He’s not a boy, Mum.’
‘Okay, sorry, the “young man”. I haven’t met him, I haven’t had any time to get used to the idea that there even is a boyfriend. And well, to be honest, I don’t know how I feel about the whole sleeping-over thing. And there’s also your brother to consider.’
‘What’s he got to do with it?’
‘He lives here too,’ Ellen pointed out. ‘Look, I know it seems to be the done thing these days, boyfriends and girlfriends sleeping over, but in my day –’
/> ‘You were still having sex!’ Kate said wide-eyed. ‘God, Mum, I’m living proof of that.’
‘Exactly,’ said Ellen. ‘And I don’t want you to end up in my situation, not that I’d ever change it.’
‘Yeah, yeah, I know the spiel, you wouldn’t give me up for anything, blah, blah,’ Kate dismissed. ‘But Mum, think about it, you were having sex with Dad, it didn’t make any difference that you couldn’t have it in your bedroom at home. You’re being hypocritical.’
‘Well that goes both ways.’
Kate frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
Ellen sighed, putting the knife down on the chopping board. ‘You expect a lot from me when you weren’t even prepared to entertain the idea of my seeing someone.’
‘When did I ever say that?’
Ellen leaned back against the kitchen bench, crossing her arms. ‘When your father started seeing Therése, you said you were glad that everything was out in the open and there were no more secrets.’
‘Yeah, so? When did I say I was against you seeing someone?’
Ellen was getting a bit rattled now. She knew that’s what Kate had meant at the time. ‘It was the context,’ she said. ‘After your father made such a mess of things, it seemed pretty clear you and Sam didn’t want to have to deal with any more changes.’
‘Mum, you’re reading things into whatever I said back then,’ Kate insisted. ‘I didn’t like all the secrets, but I don’t have a problem with you dating.’
‘You don’t?’
‘Why should I?’
‘Well, Sam definitely does.’
‘And what did he supposedly say to make you think that?’ said Kate, pulling out a chair and plonking down on it.
Ellen looked at her. ‘He did actually say it would be weird if I started dating.’
‘Yeah. He’s sixteen, and you’re his mother, and he’s a boy, of course he’s going to think it’s weird, and it’s going to freak him out probably, but why should you let that stop you?’
‘It doesn’t seem fair to him.’
‘It doesn’t seem fair to you either.’
‘Well, be that as it may, as the parent, my needs have to come second.’
‘Then remind me never to have kids.’ Kate pulled a face.
‘It’s not forever.’
‘So how long are you going to wait? Till he finishes school? University? Moves out? You haven’t got that much time, Mum.’
‘Hey, it’s not like I’ve got one foot in the grave,’ Ellen protested.
Kate shrugged. ‘I’ve heard it gets harder the other side of forty.’
Ellen rolled her eyes. ‘Your Aunty Emma said the same thing.’ She pulled out a chair for herself opposite Kate. ‘I really am starting to feel like I’ve got one foot in the grave.’ She sat down, resting her chin in her hands.
‘So you’ve got to put yourself out there, Mum.’
Ellen groaned. ‘Oh, not you too. Now you really sound like your aunties. They haven’t let up ever since . . .’ She stopped, glancing at her daughter.
Kate looked at her suspiciously. ‘What?’
‘Nothing . . . I didn’t say anything.’
‘But you were about to.’
‘No I wasn’t.’
‘Mu-um!’
‘What?’
‘Did something happen?’ Kate persisted.
‘No . . . maybe . . . kind of.’
She squealed, leaning forward on the table. ‘Spill. Who was it?’
Ellen sighed. ‘Remember the “cute for an old guy” mechanic who came to the door that day?’
Kate’s mouth dropped open. ‘You’re kidding?’
‘You don’t approve?’
‘What are you talking about, I said he was cute, didn’t I?’
Ellen shrugged. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter, it’s over now.’
‘So there was something?’
‘Very briefly,’ she admitted. ‘I just didn’t think it was a good idea to let it go any further, it would get too complicated with you kids.’
‘So you used us as an excuse?’
‘What? No, I made a decision about what was best for our family . . .’
Kate folded her arms, raising an eyebrow.
‘Okay, actually I screwed it up really badly and he dumped me,’ said Ellen. ‘So that’s that.’
‘How long ago did this happen?’
‘Oh, I don’t know, a few weeks, I guess.’ Ellen could tell her the exact date, but she wasn’t going to.
‘So there’s still time to apologise.’
‘Why do I have to apologise?’
‘You just said you were the one who screwed it up,’ Kate reminded her. ‘Don’t you think the least you should do is apologise? I know that’s how you brought us up.’
Ellen gave her a look. ‘So now you’re lecturing me.’
‘I’m just saying, Mum, how many decent guys are you going to come across at your age? You’re not going to let one go without a fight, are you?’
‘Oh, Kate . . . I don’t know,’ said Ellen. ‘I don’t think he’d even listen. He was pretty unimpressed with me when he dumped me.’
‘Well, yeah, but he might have calmed down by now.’
‘What are you suggesting? I can’t just show up and . . . What would I even say to him?’
Kate seemed to be thinking about it. ‘Start fresh. Ask him out. I know!’ she said, her eyes lighting up. ‘Tell him you need a partner for something.’
Ellen sat there, contemplating. Not a day had passed that she hadn’t thought about Finn. If she actually thought there was a chance . . .
Kate was watching her. ‘Do you still like him?’
Ellen looked across at her daughter and nodded slowly.
‘So, go for it.’
Evie
‘We’re finished now, Mum,’ Jayden said urgently. ‘Can we go play?’
‘Please, Mummy?’ Cody added.
They had been meeting once a week for a family dinner, initially at home, but since Evie had become so busy she liked to have a night off from cooking. Tonight they’d chosen McDonald’s. She and Craig needed to talk, so the kids needed to be occupied.
‘Okay boys,’ said Evie. ‘But Jayden, you know the rules. You look after your little brother.’
‘I will,’ he said, coming around to help Cody as he climbed down out of his chair. ‘Come on, Codes,’ he said, walking off with his arm around his brother.
Tayla remained in her seat, shrinking a little, in the hope she wouldn’t be noticed, Evie suspected.
‘Tayla,’ she said, ‘Daddy and I need to talk. Can you go with the boys, please?’
‘Do I have to?’
Evie leaned closer to her daughter. ‘I would like you to, just for a while,’ she said. ‘I’d really appreciate if you’d do that for me without an argument.’
Tayla looked up at her. ‘Okay then, Mummy,’ she said, sliding off her seat. ‘Will you come and get me as soon as you’re finished?’
‘It’s a deal.’
‘Wow,’ Craig remarked in a low voice as Tayla walked away. ‘She’s like an actual little human being.’
‘She’s getting there,’ said Evie, watching her go. She looked back at Craig. ‘So, I want to go over the schedule with you.’
Emma was proving to be a wonderfully understanding boss; Evie worked entirely around school hours, or from home when she had Cody, though Emma didn’t mind her bringing him into the office for a few hours. Evie was loving every minute of it, she felt like a new person – a new, capable, interesting person.
‘Now that I’m working most days, I’m not getting a chance to fit in much exercise. I’d like to join a gym, so we have to work out what nights you’re prepared to come over and cook dinner for the kids.’
‘Can’t they just come to Mum’s?’ he suggested.
Evie looked at him. ‘If you want to prove to me why I should have you back, Craig, I want to make sure you can cook for the kids at least one night a week. Besides, y
ou know the counsellor suggested this.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ he relented. ‘What if I promise to cook every night? Can I come back then?’
‘Baby steps, Craig, let’s just start with this,’ said Evie. ‘Have you done the homework he suggested last week?’
Craig frowned, thinking.
‘Remember, he said we have to think about whether we’d marry each other again if we met now.’
‘Oh, yeah, that was easy. I’d marry you in a shot,’ said Craig.
‘Anything to get away from your mother’s, right?’ Evie said dryly.
‘No,’ he protested. ‘Well yeah . . . but no, that’s not why I’d marry you again.’ He paused, looking awkward, and bashful, and kind of cute. ‘I love you, Pud. I know I was a dickhead. I thought I was missing out on something, but it’s nothing compared to the way I miss you now. I’ll do anything, really. I’ll cook dinner as many nights as you want. But just give me a little hope?’
Evie considered him. He had been trying really hard, he hadn’t even baulked at going to counselling. He had finally managed to explain to the counsellor what had brought on the idea of going to a swingers’ club in the first place. He had been getting a little bored, he admitted, but he wasn’t interested in the slightest in straying from Evie, or having an affair. So it seemed like a way they could liven things up together. Yes, it was weird, and it certainly showed a breathtaking lack of judgement. But hearing him tell it had softened Evie towards him.
Counselling had forced her to examine her own role in the decline of their marriage. Just like with the children, Evie had never established boundaries with Craig either. He wasn’t a child, it wasn’t her job to train him to behave, but she was responsible for how she expected people to treat her. And she hadn’t expected much.
This break had been the best thing they could have done, because Evie was beginning to miss Craig, the best part of him, the part that made her laugh, that was dependable and steadfast, the man who had always made her feel safe.
So Evie had hope, but it was going to take time.
‘I tell you what, Craig,’ she said, ‘things keep going the way they are and I might even invite you to Emma’s wedding.’
The Right Time Page 39