by HJ Bellus
I really thought I’d felt loved before, but the harsh truth was I hadn’t. This is love. Forgiving, talking, and taking back. It’s at this moment this man has indeed given me the world.
“It’s time for another first,” I whisper.
“Makeup sex?” he asks with grief still thick on his face.
He’s sad and hurting, but the Hart I love is fighting to come out.
“No,” I shake my head side to side.
“What?” Confusion clouds his features.
“I’m pregnant.”
That knocks Hart back on his ass. He stares up at me blankly. In slow motion, the grief, sadness, and all traces of loss disappear in an instant. I pick up the stick on the back of the toilet and wave it at him.
“I’ve been puking non-stop and chalked it up to stress and anxiety. Molly insisted I should take a test. It’s positive.”
The happiness on his face transforms at a rapid rate.
“It’s yours, Hart. There was no one else,” I blurt out the words to reassure myself.
“Shug, I have no doubt.” A large smile covers his face. “A baby.”
He repeats the last two words over and over again.
“What are we going to do?”
Hart looks up at me with a puzzling look. “About?”
“Where are we going to live? Where does this leave us?”
He jumps up quickly, picks me up, and then sets me on the countertop. My legs spread for him as he steps in. It’s a natural reaction as I wrap my arms around his neck and our foreheads drop together. Hart reaches back behind his neck, lacing his fingers with mine. Connected as can be, he stares into my eyes.
“The open road used to bring comfort to my soul, but without you by my side it was torture. We are both lost souls who have found a connection. We make each other come to life. Our only plan is seeing where this journey takes us. My adventure has turned into a reality with you. Let’s be travellers in love on a journey building our future together.”
“I love you, Hart.”
Those are the only four words I can get out.
“How about another first?” He winks at me.
I raise my eyebrows in question.
“Bathroom sex in a friend’s house with my pregnant soul mate.”
I throw my head back and laugh the only way Hart Richards can make me. It seems like an eternity since I’ve felt this joy. No longer is it a foreign feeling, it’s normal. I deserve it.
23
Hart
“You not hungry, Uncle?” I look down to Izzy who’s in my lap.
The girl hasn’t left my side for the last three days. I’ve missed her like crazy.
I lean down and whisper in her ear, “Just enjoying the moment.”
She sets her fork down on her plate with the tines dipping in her mashed potatoes and gravy then crosses her arms.
“Me too, I’m going to enjoy the moment.”
I kiss the top of her head with my chest warm and tingly imagining what Vannie and my baby will look like. I lost the woman who shaped me, and I love with all my heart. Her soul floated up to heaven, her body buried six feet down, then in the next blink of an eye I’ve been given the greatest gift possible.
I study Vannie who is deep in conversation with my friends. It was all very natural, her connecting with them. She wasn’t shy and reserved, falling back on her manners. She is the woman I love.
I had been blown away when she talked openly about her past with all of them last night after the kids went to bed. She didn’t leave anything out about it and then continued on about how we met, and how she came out of her shell.
“Is it time yet?” Izzy asks me.
I nod giving her a small smile.
Izzy clears her throat about ten times until she has everyone’s attention. Bless her heart. She had Cub up and on his feet thinking his little girl was choking. Once the focus of the table is on us, I reach over and grab Vannie’s hand.
“We have an announcement.” Izzy claps her hands together.
“Who?” Guy asks. “You and that frog in your pocket?”
Izzy rolls her eyes. “Dresses don’t have pockets, Uncle Guy.”
“Go on,” Gracie, her mom, encourages her.
She clears her throat feeling like a queen. It’s so important for her to feel a part of this. Izzy will always be in my life. For a long time, it was Cub and her who made me happy. They were my backbone in life. This little girl in my lap made my life normal after the war.
“Vannie is knocked up, and Hart did it.”
Gracie and Cub glare at me, damn well knowing I helped her out with her delivery.
“A baby,” Molly squeals.
A round of congratulations floats around the table. I’m a king on a high that no one can take away from me. The men offer me endless amounts of cold beer and the women talk Vannie’s ear off about having a baby. It’s joy in the purest form.
By the time, we make it to the guest room, I’m drunk and horny. Vannie pushes me back on the bed, reading me like an open book.
“Take care of me, Shug.”
She climbs up on me, straddling my thighs, and then the sound of my zipper going down fills the air.
“I want to kill him.”
My words make her freeze.
“He took you away from me, playing mind games with you.”
“Hart,” she whispers.
“Baby.” I reach up cupping the apple of her cheek. “He’s going down. He won’t get away with this. Just trust me that he will go down for this.”
She nods with tears welling up in her eyes. “Don’t do anything stupid. I need you.”
I flip her over until I have her back pressed into the mattress. “I promise, Shug, but I will protect what is mine.”
It’s already in motion, only asking a favor from my band of brothers. Blake Patton has no idea the storm that’s about to rain down on him. I voted for a hired kill, but it was Cub and Guy who shot that down real quick. They have a team on it gathering all the information needed to put Blake away for life.
“Make love to me, Hart,” she whispers.
And I listen. I push her panties to the side, slowly sinking inside of her. Our bodies move slowly, relishing each sensation. My elbows framing her face, my lips devouring hers, and all thoughts of our past disappearing forever. We have it right here and now.
I pull back when I feel her tightening around my dick. “Marry me, Shug.”
“Yes! Oh God, yes. Hart. Hart. Hart,” she cries out.
I spill inside her knowing she just answered me while indulging in her own release.
I nuzzle her neck. “I’m horny for a new tattoo.”
“You are the most random person I know, Hart Richards.” Vannie pushes up on my shoulders.
“I’m serious. I want Shug in capital letters across my ass.”
Vannie erupts in a wild attack of laughter with all thought of our problems disappearing.
Everything was put together in three days. Cub was ordained online. He was the only person I wanted to marry us. Izzy and Vannie in matching simple, white dresses. While the other kids were eager to get this over with to go fishing down at the creek.
A single white rose lays on a chair in the front row for my mom. It’s all perfection. Vannie requested that my hair be pulled up in her favorite man bun. I rock back and forth on my heels staring at my bride at the end of the aisle waiting for the music to fire up.
This hill on Beartooth Ranch was the only place I wanted to get married. It’s seen many celebrations and sorrows throughout the years. The soil underneath our feet could fill hundreds of books. I glance over to the headstone on the hill. Amos Marshall.
My eyes sting with sadness and pride. It’s because of him that we were brought together. One of the brothers we lost in Afghanistan. He’s gone, but never forgotten. A sloppy, wet splat lands on my shoulder confusing me for a bit. Molly rushes to me, muttering to herself and wiping bird shit off my tux.
“
Did a bird just shit on me?” I ask.
“Not funny, Amos.” Molly looks up to the heavens. “You jackass!”
I look over at Guy who’s watching his wife with a sad smile on his face. He only shrugs.
“You know that jackass has had birds shitting on me since the day he died.” She gives my shoulder one more pat, drying the wet spot. “He’s here with you.”
She kisses my cheek then races back to Guy. I watch her for long moments, seeing tears stream down her face. We all miss Amos and always will. A force like him will never be forgotten.
Another wave of commotion grabs my attention. Juliette in her dirty pink dress riding one of the cow dogs with Molly hot on her heels trying to catch them. The squeals of laughter are contagious streaming from Juliette. She falls off into a mud puddle and then is promptly plucked up by her mother. Gracie fusses trying to put a bow in the little girl’s hair only to have it ripped out. Like I say, Amos’ legend will live on forever.
It’s at this moment it hits me. Friends are the family that you choose, and they are the ones that belong in your circle. Juliette, Amos’ daughter, found that with Gracie and Cub. Molly and Guy created their own slice of perfection with each other, and on this day I’m creating my very own.
The thought is powerful, making me weak at the knees. It’s a hell of a lot of responsibility, and I’m ready for it. Juliette squeezes my hand when the music starts playing, and then I watch my future walk toward me one graceful step at a time. I may be a traveller at heart, but right now I’m a man who has found his roots.
Izzy squeezes my hand one more time, looking up at me. I pry my gaze from Vannie real quick. “You’ve got this, Uncle.”
I reach into my pocket, pulling her ring out, and silently slip it on her tiny finger. As soon as Vannie reaches me, I kiss the hell out of her, not caring that I’m messing up the whole ceremony.
What none of us know is that this hill will hold several more memories for us down the road.
24
Hart
“It’s time to pick a spot.” My palm runs over Vannie’s baby bump.
“Already,” she whines, turning to me in the hotel bed.
“Yes, you’ve already made me too damn nervous on this road trip being pregnant.”
After getting married, we set off with no destination in mind. We simply travelled together.
I bend down kissing her scarred stomach with the background noise of the television floating in the room. My worries about her carrying the baby full term and her skin stretching consume me. It’s not a fear I share with Vannie and have asked the doctor several times. I’m pretty sure the nurse in his office is about to block my number.
“Where do you want to live?” she whispers.
“Anywhere with you, Shug.”
“Montana.”
I look up at her shocked. “Really?”
She nods. “Yes, I love it there.”
“Montana it is then. Izzy will approve of your answer.”
“I just worry about Peaches.” Vannie nibbles on her bottom lip.
I rest my head on her stomach. “We can visit.”
“Okay, but once the baby comes, we need to visit often. I want her knowing her aunt.”
“Her?” I quirk an eyebrow up.
“Just a feeling.”
Vannie freezes when the television blares with a breaking news alert. I’m sent right back to the day on the couch in Peaches’ house. We both sit up, and I hold Vannie as tight as I can to my chest.
“Breaking News brought to you by Channel Seven.” Blake’s picture flashes on the screen.
Vannie shudders, turning away from the screen.
“Just in, Blake Patton has been arrested and charged with multiple crimes. Arena 55 has been shut down and seized for any evidence. At the top of the charges, is murder, kidnapping, and rape. Channel Seven will keep you updated as the case proceeds.” The gorgeous, blonde newscaster smiles wistfully at the camera. “For all you country music lovers, this comes as a shock, but we can only encourage you to follow the story and stick to the facts.”
We remain silent for a long time, breathing in the victory of putting Blake away. Yes, there’s still a trial, but it’s mere due process. I know the evidence against him with my connections, the man will never see the light of day again outside a prison cell.
“Take me home,” Vannie whispers.
She only has to say it once before I’m off the bed and packing our bags. We’re in the middle of Oklahoma, so it will take us days to reach Montana. Vannie loves travelling, seeing the world by my side, not running and hiding from it. But I’ve been persistent on settling down somewhere, wanting her near a doctor. This whole pregnancy game has made me a nervous Nelly.
We are on the road, and even though the sky is coated in pitch black, the stars I used to love to stare at guide us home. I don’t admire the sky like I used to because there’s no need to look up hoping for more.
Vannie pats my leg, and I dart my vision over to her. A red and white gummy worm dangling from her lips. I reach over with one eye on the road and snatch the other half. I’d love nothing more than to finish it off with a kiss, but I have my whole life in this car.
Who knew a wild, curly haired lost soul would be the one to steal my heart with her sweet candy kisses.
Life is sweet as can be. I adjust my favorite cowboy hat on my head and drive home. A real home where love and laughter are abundant.
Epilogue
Hart
Four Years Later
“Coop, put your underwear on and quit whipping your pee-pee around.”
That’s what I hear when I walk in the door from a long day of work at the bed and breakfast with Cub. The new addition is coming along quite nicely. I’ve found a fondness for building things and started my own company once we settled here in Montana.
“Momma, I’s might have to pee.”
Vannie’s voice grows as stern as possible, which isn’t at all. “Coop, if you need to go potty, just pull down your underwear and go to the bathroom.”
“Daddy!” A butt naked, chubby little boy wearing his favorite pair of cowboy boots with wild sprays of dark blond curls sprints my way.
Vannie’s perched in my mom’s old rocking chair with her old blanket nursing our daughter. She blows her bangs out of her eyes when she sees me. Coop is a lot like his daddy, pushing and testing every limit he comes into contact with.
“I gots to pee.” Coop cups his junk and begins jumping up and down.
“Let’s get it done, son.” I grab the brown cowboy hat from the hook, plop it on his head, and open the front door.
Coop steps out on the front steps like he’s a real man about to make the world his bitch. I’ve really met my match with this one.
“Daddy, need music to pee.”
I reach deep down in my pocket, pulling out my cell phone and firing up some AC/DC for the boy. It takes him a moment before he gets the job done. He gets a little too excited about the music, dancing around while peeing.
“Not on your mother’s flowers.” I pick him up under the shoulders and move him to the side. “Never pee on your mom’s flowers, son.”
“Sorry, daddy, I just wove that music.”
“I know, buddy.” I pat his head, ruffling up his already crazy hair.
He looks up at me, pushing back the oversized hat. “Daddy, can we take my sister back?”
I kneel down, trying like hell to not smile at him. Coop’s had a hell of a time over the last two weeks since his sister came home.
“No, you can’t.”
He crosses his arms over his bare chest. “I don’t wike her. She cries and makes mommy blusterated. I just want to be the only kid in the house, so momma will sing to me like she uses to.”
The door of the house opens with Vannie staring down at us. She tosses me a pair of Superman underwear. I can tell by the look in her eyes she’s heard the conversation. It’s a warm summer’s evening, and my wife looks exhausted.
/>
“Give me her.” I hold my arms up. “Go lay down and I’ll order pizza.”
“She just went down, but order pizza, and I’ll go lay down with her.” Vannie goes to close the door but stops. “Coop, I love you.”
“Love you, Momma.”
Vannie closes the door, leaving us men on the porch.
“Here, Tiger.” I hold out his underwear for him to step into.
It takes quite some time for him to get his boots into the tiny leg holes. We both sit down side by side on the porch. Coop with both of his elbows on the top of his legs with his chin resting on his little fists.
“Can I pee on my sister, Daddy?”
Oh, Jesus, it’s in moments like this one where I miss my mom the most. She’d know exactly what to say and how to handle Coop.
I wrap my arm around him pulling Coop to my side. “No, you can’t. You have a very important job, Coop. You are going to be the man that protects your little sister. She’ll need you, and you’ll need her.”
“Like Belle?” he asks.
I nod fighting back the tears. Even after having the world, it still hurts when I hear her name, especially coming from my son’s mouth. “Exactly. Just be patient and always know that your mommy and daddy love you so much and that will never change.”
“Okay.” He adjusts the hat. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”
“Never be sorry, son. You always come to Mommy or me. But I think your Mommy could use some extra hugs tonight from you.”
“Okay.”
We sit in silence. I let Coop snuggle up to my side knowing he needs this time. I’m tired and hungry, but my family will always come first.
“Daddy, do you hear that?” Coop jumps up on the step.
Oh, I hear it. This boy is well-trained.
“Daddy. It’s coming.” He’s off the steps and out on the grass before I stand up. “Hurry, we gotta beat the other kids.”